"Giles I have to *go*." She said with urgency.
"I- but- I.. I- Umm." He continue to stammer.
"Giles we are both grown ups here, I have to pee and you have to come in with me or I'm going to pee in my pants. If I have to I'll knock you out." That seemed to get him moving he hesitated a moment longer then followed her into the bathroom.
"Just turn around as much as you can and close your eyes," Buffy told him then thought to herself Oh god what about the sound- Ew! "And maybe you should hum or something- you know to... drown out the- you know." The color drained from Giles' face as he realized what she was talking about. He nodded and turn away from her as he shut his eyes.
*********
Giles stood in the bathroom with his eyes closed as tightly as was possible waiting for Buffy to `do her thing'. When he heard her begin to struggle to undo her the button on her jeans one handed, he started humming `God Save the Queen' rather loudly. He thought he heard Buffy stifle a giggle as he felt her move to take her place on the toilet. A few minutes later he and Buffy were making there way back down the stairs and toward the kitchen. He still wasn't sure where to begin their conversation or even if he should be the one to initiate it, she hadn't said a single word to him since they were in the bathroom. He decided that for the moment for would just follow her quietly and hope that she took the lead in them working things out.
*********
Buffy entered the kitchen with Giles lagging slightly behind; she wasn't sure what to say to him so she figured that she would just leave it up to him. She so hoped that he would say something to fix this divide between them, she had to admit that as mad as she was she just couldn't see her life without him, why was that she wondered? It had been so hard when he left her, after she came back, that was why she had turned to Spike in the first place, what else was she suppose to do? Now he wanted to take that away form her too? Did he really want her to be that alone? That isolated form the world? She frowned as she took a soda from the fridge and sat at the island counter. She looked up at Giles her features devoid of emotion.
"So?" she asked.
"Yes?" she didn't expect him to answer her with a question so she
just stared at him blankly until he sighed and continued "Perhaps we
should move to the living room, it would be more comfortable, I
think." She nodded in reply and stood as he lead her to the living
room.
**********
Giles guided his Slayer towards the sofa; he reached down a moved the pillows and folded blankets so that they could both sit without much trouble. Once they were seated he looked at her, she looked sad and tired.
"Buffy," He began "I need you to understand that I didn't do this to hurt you. I would never do anything that I believed would hurt as much as this seems to have done."
"No?" she snapped "You left me when I need you most and now you've betrayed my trust in you. I see a pattern developing here Giles and I don't like it. Of all the people in my life, you were the last person I thought could- would ever rip my heart out and stomp on it." The tears that she wouldn't let fall made her eyes sparkle with moisture.
"I never meant to hurt you Buffy, ever. When I left I thought it was for the best. I thought you needed to stand on your own. To grow up."
"Did you ever think to ask me what *I* thought? What *I* felt was best for me? I was hurting Giles. I was lost and scared and then you left and I was alone, completely alone. Then there was Spike, and I started talking to him, he understood, he cared, *he* was there and he made me feel-"
"Spike used you and your depression to get what he wanted from you
Buffy." Giles interrupted hate oozing from his eyes.
"Why do you even care Giles? Why does it matter to you that Spike
and I are- were together? You're the one who walked away not me." She
bit out at him.
"Because the thought of you allowing him to touch you, makes me sick and angry Buffy, that's why." And because you would rather have *his* cold dead hands touch you like that, than for mine to. He added to himself.
"WHAT??!!" he looked up at Buffy's face, she looked shocked and, was that disgust? Oh good lord, did I just say that out loud? Okay old man just stay calm and let *her* do the talking until you figure out what you actually said.
"Why Giles, Why does it `make you sick and angry'? Am I not supposed to be happy, is that part if the slayer gig? Be as miserable as possible until you die?"
"Does he Buffy?" Giles voice dropped, he allowed the hurt he felt to slip into it "Does Spike make you happy? He's not just `filler', someone to kill the time with until you die again? Does he really take the misery away?"
*********