K'Tesh's Klingon Recipe Pages: Main Courses

Main Courses

These various different dishes could be could be considered for the main course of your next Star Trek party, or other dining experience (trust me it will definitely be an experience)

Gagh (qagh): First seen when Commander Riker chose to honor the time honored ritual of a feast before transferring to another ship. Perhaps the most recognized of Klingon food choices, it comes in 51 different varieties, including torghud qagh, vIlDIng qagh, mIcha' qagh, etlhul qagh, and wIStng qagh. Each variety has a different flavor, and feels different as you swallow it. Shortly before her death, Jadzia Dax ordered a complete variety as a gift for General Martok's birthday. The shipment was delivered to Ezri Dax who does not appreciate (yet) the finer points of Klingon Kuisine. ("A Matter of Honor" [TNG], "Prodigal Daughter" [DS9])

Often misspelled as gagh, gargh or Qagh, the CORRECT spelling of this animal is "qagh" is unless you want to dispute "THE KLINGON DICTIONARY". According to the Interactive CD ROM game, "Star Trek: KLINGON", qagh is a "worm-like creature native to the Klingon Homeworld. A favorite Klingon Delicacy. Rarely, if ever, eaten as a replicator dish, as it is properly served live."

This poses a problem, how do you make your food appear to be live? The best workaround I have found is:

"I keep having problems with the shipping agents, they keep messing up and kill the qagh in transit...Of course I cannot let this continue, so I keep having to KILL the shipping agents. Fresh qagh is such a difficult food to get here now."

According to "Star Trek: Klingon for the Galactic Traveler", qagh prepared in the traditional Klingon manner has starved qagh feed on 'Iw puj (weak or diluted blood). Just before being serving the qagh are placed in a bowl of ghevi' (a sauce). This sauce is laced with a flavorful herb that the worms eat greedily, despite the fact that the herb is toxic to them. The worms must be consumed in minutes, or else they will die, and we all know that "qagh is always best when served live".

Here is another problem we have seen several different versions of qagh. In "A Matter Of Honor" [TNG] the qagh was a dark brown/green color. In the book "The Way of the Warrior" they have a picture that is labeled qagh, but looks more like some designer soap. One possible explanation of this is the 'Iw puj that the qagh feeds on prior to preparation for the table. Since just about any kind of 'Iw (blood) can be used there can be a great difference in the flavor of the qagh, and also a possible difference in the actual appearance of the dish.

Leftover's can be heated with the sauce to be made into qagh tlhIq (qagh stew)

According to the book "Star Trek: The Next Generation Companion" The ACTUAL recipe for qagh (used in "A Matter Of Honor" [TNG]) was long brown noodles and root vegetables. {=)

In the past I had used linguini noodles that have been boiled with black food coloring, sprinkled with some spices. Recently I found a variety of long green/string beans from China that would do QUITE well.

For qagh, as seen in "Star Trek KLINGON", I use Yakisoba Stir Fry Noodles (at least in my supermarket, found in the soy products area) and red food coloring. Place in a large bowl resembling a shallow wok, lined with several small raw Octopus (tentacles out), that have been split in half as the tentacles appear in groups of four.

Here is another recipe for qagh, submitted by Dr. Lawrence M. Schoen (of KLI fame) it is in no way near being accurate, but it can be fun anyway. I like his recommendation on proper eating of qagh.

Simply take gummy worms and smother them in Hershey's chocolate syrup. Stir well, and serve. Proper eating involves reaching into the ball and grasping a handful, raising the dripping, writhing mess (you supply the writhing) above your up-turned face, and then dropping the worms into your open mouth one by one. Messy but very effective.

Bregit Lung (bIreQtagh): According to the Interactive CD ROM game, Star Trek KLINGON, Bregit lung is "the Breathing Organ of any of a number of Klingon beasts. Prepared in a manner that preserves its tough texture and blanched color"

As seen in Star Trek KLINGON, its RAW honeycomb tripe (cows stomach) placed in a bowl, on a bed dark purple leafy vegetables, and green leafy vegetables. Folks, its the only thing that it can be. If you have a recipe for tripe that is actually edible, let me know, and I'll add it here.

Fruit of Life: "Savor the Fruit of Life my young friends. It has a sweet taste when it is fresh from the vine, but don't live too long, the taste turns bitter after a time" Kor... Dahar Master of the Klingon Empire shortly before his final battle with the Jem Hadar. ("Once More Unto the Breach" [DS9])

Gladst (tlhatlh): or Gladst ousus bal. A dark leafy Klingon vegetable. ("Melora" [DS9])

Appeared to be fresh seaweed.

Broiled Karada Legs: (qaraDa gham) The broiled legs of a tlhIngan Ha'DIbaH (Klingon Animal), that resembles the tera'ngan octopus. Worf ordered some while he was suffering from Barclay's Protomorphosis Syndrome. Kira was craving some when she and Odo went to the Klingon restaurant aboard DS9 for lunch. ("Genesis" [TNG], "The Sound of Her Voice" [DS9])

I'm going out on a limb here, as the octopus dishes have never been identified as qaraDa, but this ties up a few loose ends. Worf's meal was accompanied with dried fish (possibly herring). It is quite acceptable (read: customary) to eat the legs with both hands.

qaraDa gham

Ingredients

1 Large Octopus
2 Tbs. softened butter
1 tsp. paprika
Salt and pepper to taste
1 cup butter, melted
1 lemon, quartered

Preparation

Remove the head of the octopus and discard, separate the legs from each other. Make a mixture of the softened butter, paprika, salt and pepper.

Place the legs over medium-hot coals and broil for a few minutes. Turn the legs, baste with the butter mixture and finish broiling until the fully cooked.

Garnish with lemon quarters and serve at once with melted butter.

Makes 2 servings

The following Octopus dishes are edible, but most people will be only interested in looking at them. For that reason I am inclined to prepare these dishes well in advance and freeze/thaw them as needed (I wouldn't recommend eating them in that case).

For these Octopus dishes, simply remove the head/body of a large octopus (approx. 1 to 2 lbs ), split the tentacles (if deemed necessary), and then display. I WOULD NOT BOIL the octopus, unless you intend to actually eat the dish ( or are aiming for a more accurate appearance). When an octopus is boiled, its tentacles tend to curl, and often the skin peels worse than when it is raw. I realize that this will probably deter some from consuming the dish. Just remind the brave Warriors who do consume the dish that they do so at their own risk and...

Today IS a Good Day to Die!!!

Emperor's Karada: (voDleH qaraDa) This dish graced the table of Riker's Last Meal (aboard the Enterprise). ("A Matter Of Honor" [TNG])

According to tradition Emperor's Karada is marinaded in its own blood ('Iw), and often sap (vIychorgh).

Emperor's Karada

For the display that would be most accurate to the scene in Ten Forward, place a RAW octopus upside down, in a large glass bowl (approx. 8 1/2" to 10" in diameter) with the tentacles overhanging the edge. Cover the center of the octopus with what appears to be a dark (and wet) kelp.

For a more Klingon appearance display on a round shallow aluminum bowl with handles that are attached to a short stand (I have yet to find one of these for purchase, and am currently looking into making one). In a pinch an old fashioned steak plate (the oval, metal type) would probably do.

Emperor's Karada #2: This dish was onboard the Klingon vessel, Pagh. ("A Matter Of Honor" [TNG])

This dish was on one of the raised shallow aluminum bowls. This octopus appeared to be boiled, I say this because the tentacles were curved under the bowl. I would hazard a guess that the center of this dish was also covered with dark, wet kelp, but I cannot be sure of this because of the dark lighting onboard the Pagh... .i.e. Use your Imagination!

Hunters Karada: (wamwI' qaraDa) This dish was poked at (and some was eaten) at by the Klingon Ambassador Kell, while he instructed Geordi to kill Governor Vagh. ("Mind's Eye" [TNG])

This is simply qaraDa served with ngat (which is made from granulated cartilage and grain).

Prepare as above, and display on a raised shallow aluminum bowl. This octopus appeared to be darker red (possibly boiled) and had what appeared to be potato salad in the center.

Enemy's Heart (jagh tIq): Literally the heart muscle of a sworn enemy. One doesn't eat the heart of a soldier killed in combat for the Empire, a Blood Oath ('Iw 'Ip) has to have been made naming the individual enemy. ("Blood Oath" [DS9])

This is always fresh, as it is best taken from the chest of the fallen enemy while he still breathes his last. The heart is shared among the surviving members of the Blood Oath.

Pipius Claw (pIpyuS pach): The marinated claws of the pIpyuS, a Klingon avian.

According to Alan Sims, these were simply chicken feet with the middle toe cut off. They were placed on a plate (bottom of the foot facing up) and covered with, what appears to be, a (bottom) layer of some red, (not purple) vegetable, and an opaque whitish fillet of some kind of fish or vegetable, that had been fried. (it crunched as Riker ate it). This actually could be edible if you take some care.

Racht (raHta'): This dish was quite clearly served LIVE! Half-dead, racht is NOT acceptable to the discerning Klingon Gourmet! ("Melora" [DS9])

Clean, live earthworms. Served by the handful

Bashir is clearly seen consuming one, but this appeared to be a clear plastic fishing lure, a mostly clear gummy worm *may* have been used.

Scrag: The roasted haunch of the killer garbat marinated in its own blood and treated with ten different spices. This is concidered one of the finest achievement of the Klingon culinary arts. It tops CMO. Beverly Crusher's list of Klingon foods that are completely indigestible by tera'nganpu. Cmdr. Riker had the unpleasant experience of consuming a portion of scrag with Worf and Alexander, for which he got a dingwally of a tummyache. A full serving would have proven lethal. ("Debtors' Planet" [TNG Novel #30])

As you might want to serve scrag at a Klingon feast, and that garbat may be hard to come by, I have the following recipe using tera'ngan ingredients

Scrag

Ingredients

6 lbs. leg of lamb, trimmed of all visible fat
4 to 8 garlic cloves or to taste, sliced
2 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil
2 Tbs. dried oregano
Juice of 2 lemons
2 onions, chopped coarse
2 zucchini, chopped coarse
3 carrots, chopped coarse
2 1/2 lbs. small red potatoes, scrubbed
Salt and pepper to taste
Paprika to taste
Mint jelly

Preparation

Using the tip of a knife, cut small slits all over the lamb. Wedge the garlic slices into the slits (using as much of the garlic as you like). Rub the lamb all over with the olive oil, the oregano, and salt and pepper to taste. Put the lamb in a large roasting pan, and squeeze the lemons over it.

Arrange all the vegetables around the lamb and season them to taste with the paprika. Add 1/4 inch of water to the pan.

Preheat the oven to 500 degrees, and roast the lamb and vegetables for 30 minutes. Turn the oven down to 300 degrees, and roast the lamb for 2 1/2 to 3 more hours (or until a meat thermometer registers 160 degrees), basting it with the juices from time to time and adding additional water if necessary. (The lamb must be well cooked to develop the right flavor.)

Let the lamb cool for 20 minutes before carving. Serve each portion with vegetables, and mint jelly.

Serves 16

Slimy Tongue Balls: I'm not sure if that is what I saw in the episode, but in the audio cassette "POWER KLINGON", they talk about this dish, and it sounds about right.

Try steaming, then peeling a bunch of red or black grapes, and display with beet stems in a clear bowl.

A possible substitution for beet stems could be rhubarb stems, it is important to make sure that the stems are dark reddish-purple and stripped of any green.

Stuffed Todbaj Leg: The audio cassette "Power Klingon" introduced this Klingon delicacy. The todbaj is a small animal which has a lot of legs, and usually a tough skin. Once in a year, at the time of QI'lop (a Klingon holiday) the todbaj expand their bodies. To allow for the expansion, the todbaj's skin gets soft and less thick. During the holiday, tradition dictates that a meal of soft stuffed todbaj leg is brought to the house of the host. After the meal the guest is allowed to take one, non-sacred, item home.

To eat the stuffed todbaj leg, you use your teeth to tear the skin and without the use of utensils you eat the contents, and the skin.

Each Klingon house has a special recipe for the preparation of todbaj legs. Use this as a guide to prepare this popular dish in your house:

Stuffed Todbaj Leg
by ter'eS

Slaughter a todbaj and remove the legs.

Remove and dice the muscles of the legs. Mix with diced naH (fruit or vegetables -- the word for each is the same in Klingon) and add unsweetened liquid yuch(chocolate) to smooth the mixture.

Once mixed, stuff the empty legs. Serve. (cold)

Recipe was sent by Koror, based on a recipe from the Klingon literary magazine "jatmey"

Heart of Targ (targh tIq): According to the Interactive CD ROM game, Star Trek KLINGON, Heart of Targ is "the heart of the Targ beast. Although Targ are bred for food throughout the Empire, the heart of the bred Targ is considered weakened by domestication. Only the heart of the Wild, Hunted Targ is considered worthy of eating, making it a rare delicacy.

In "A Matter Of Honor" [TNG] it appears to be cows liver placed on a bed of shredded dark leafy vegetables and light vegetables (Our missing leafy portions from the klingon drinks?). My gelatin version of my Rokeg Blood Pie could serve as a substitute for the liver (with more food coloring added).

In "Star Trek: KLINGON" it appears again to be a raw liver placed on a bed of green leafy vegetables (Iceberg lettuce?) with a garnish of pineapple rind

Targ Klingon a la Mode: A menu item at the "Cafe des Artistes" translated from the French, it came out to be "A small targ makes with vanilla icecream served on a dish of the day and fish. Served with the bynar calcinings and parslais." ("We'll Always Have Paris" [TNG])

I didn't make this up, so, you can go and blame Paramount's art department for this. See the menu in "The Continuing Mission"