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I like your style, I like your
class, but most of all I like your ass.
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Excuse me miss, I'm not trying to make a pass,
but you must be leaving the country if your packing that much ass.
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Can
you help me find my puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
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My
magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties.
Oh,
you are? It must be an hour fast!
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Excuse me, my friend over there is a little embarrassed...
he
wants your phone number...he needs to know where
he
can get a hold of me in the morning
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There must be a keg in your pants, because I want
to tap that ass
|
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So,
are you going to give me your phone number,
or
am I going to have to stalk you?
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If
I were Peter Pan, you'd be my happy thought.
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Are
you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
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I
may not be Wilma, but I can sure make your bedrock.
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You
know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
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Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should
I call you or nudge you?
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You
know, you might be asked to leave soon.
You're making the other women look really bad.
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Where's your paper bag? --What?--
Your paper bag to put over your head. --Excuse me?--
It's dangerous for someone like you to be out in public with all
of
these horny people around. Don't worry, I'll protect you.
|
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Here's a quarter....call your roommate
and
tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
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Hand out phone cards that say: "Smile if you want to sleep with me."
And
watch them try to hold back their laughter.
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If
you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
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That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
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There are 265 bones in the human body. How'd ya like one more?
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Are
those lumber jack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
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Do
you live on a chicken farm --no--
Well you sure know how to raise cocks
|
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When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the
floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
|
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If
God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
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|
If
I had a rose for every time I thought of you,
I
would be walking through my garden forever.
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Here I am, now what are your other two wishes?
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You're so sweet there's a Wanted poster up for you
at the candy store
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If
I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
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Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
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That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
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Damn, did it hurt? --What?-- Your fall from heaven...?
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If
I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?
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The
word of the day is "legs." Let's say we
head back to your place and spread the word.
|
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If
I were to ask you for sex, would your answer
be
the same as the answer to this question?
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I
bet you $20 you're going to turn me down.
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I'm
Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
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Are
you free tonight or will it cost me?
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Do
you have a mirror in your pocket? --Why?--
Cause I could see myself in your pants.
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Do
you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
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There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
|
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Why
don't you come over here, sit on my lap
and
we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
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I
have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel
better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
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I
just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
|
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Was
your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
|
|
I
betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow,
because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day.
|
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Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday,
and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
|
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Listen, my buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start
a
conversation with the most beautiful boy/girl in the bar.
Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
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Fat
Penguin. WHAT? I just thought I'd say something to break the ice.
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You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line,,,
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(If
s/he is looking at you) You know, my mother always told me
it
was impolite to stare... so what do you say we dance?
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Excuse me do you wanna fuck or should I apologize?
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Would you like an Australian Kiss? Its like a French Kiss but down under...
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Hi, my name's {name}. Remember it,
you'll be screaming it later
|
The only thing your eyes haven't
told me is your name
|
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Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers?
No?
Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
|
You
look like a smart person who’s heard every line in the book;
so what’s one more.
|
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Come Backs... :)
|
Do
you mind if I smoke?
--I don't care if you burn.--
|
Your face must turn a few heads.
-- And your face must turn a few stomachs.--
|
Go
on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
--Okay, get out.--
|
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I
only have three months to live...
--Really,
want me to make that shorter?--
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Hi.
Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
--Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.--
|
I
think I could make you very happy.
--Why? Are you leaving?--
|
|
They say opposites attract, so lets go grab a drink?
--They do say opposites attract, So I sincerely hope you meet somebody who
is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured someday.--
|
I'm
a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
--I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours--
|
What kind of books are you interested in...?
--Check books...--
|
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Suck it bitch
--Sorry, I choke on small objects--
|
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Your beauty takes my breath away...!
--Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date--
|
|
Why
don't we both slip into something more comfortable at my place?
--Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma--
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Your body is like
a temple.
--Sorry, there are no services today.--
|
Did
it hurt...when you fell from heaven?
--No, but a pick up line like that and the rejection that follows must.--
|
I
want you almost as much as I want world peace.
--Hmm, looks like you'll get world peace first--
|
Is
it hot in here, or is it just you?
--It's me, but you'll feel the cold as I walk away.--
|
What do you like for breakfast?
--I don't know, but does that mean if I go to
McDonalds you'll make me something for free?--
|
Is
it me or am I gorgeous?
--By the looks of things, it's just you.--
|
What would you say to a little fuck?
--Go away, little fuck.--
|
If I could change the alphabet, I'd put U and I
closer together.
--Why do that? N and O are already right next to each other!--
|
I
want to give myself to you.
--Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.--
|
I'd
go through anything for you.
--Good! Let's start with your bank account--
|
|
Want to dance?
--No--
You misunderstood me, I said you look fat in them pants!
|
|
Want to dance?
--No--
Oh, C'mon! Lower your standards a little... I did!
|
I'd
like to call you. What's your number? --It's in the phone book.--
But I don't know your name. --That's in the phone book too--
|
Haven't I seen you someplace before?
--Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.--
|
Is
this seat empty?
--Yes, and this one will be if you sit down--
|
|
So,
what do you do for a living?
--
I'm a female impersonator. --
|
I
know how to please a woman.
-- Then please leave me alone. --
|
What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
-- What's it like being the biggest liar in the world? --
|
If
I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
-- If I could see you naked, I'd die laughing. --
|
Want to dance?
--
No, (eye roll) thank you.--
Don’t thank me. Thank God somebody asked you.
|
Your place or mine?
-- Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine --
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Funny
Pick Up Lines