...[things that make you go AAAAAAARRRRRGGHHHtwat]...

a nice random rant. well, not actually that random. i don't update this place very often these days, but i haven't forgotten about it - it still remains, for moments when i am as angry as i am now. enjoy. or not. i'm going to enjoy the catharsis of this anyway. it will be short but efficacious. ahem.


isn't it nice when you stick your neck out for someone. when, despite having your own work to do, [hellooooo degree] your own social commitments and your own life, you set aside your own time to do something for them that might perhaps help them in some way. or make their life easier. and you don't ask for a lot [or indeed anything] in return; you do it because you want to, and you think it's something you could, and would, be good at. and you do a shitload of work, and strain your brain and your eyes and your back and your emotions doing this. and they don't throw it back in your face - no, no, no, that would be far too simple, quick, and considerate to your feelings; nope, they just completely forget about you. leaving you to wonder whether you're wasting your time or not, whether they're actually laughing at you behind your back, whether you should just say "fuck it" and stop bothering, and save your time and effort for someone who might actually appreciate it in some remote way. i know that i am not the only person to feel like this. i can count at least three of my friends who have been in this same situation. perhaps this being the case, this is self-pity - "that's the way the world works". fuck that. the world shouldn't work like that. it is annoying.


oh, how very tempting it is to give up on it. but i don't. because unlike the aforementioned person, i have a small but piercing concept of responsibility, of having said i would do something, and so sticking to it. [and because thanks to said annoying person i don't know if there's actually a valid reason for the cause of this rant, so if i give up it may well be far too hasty an action, and i may regret it later.] so it looks like for now i shall remain pissed off and wiped out. ~_^

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