|
DISCLAIMER: Cordelia died. As if!
SUMMARY: G. Cordelia to Angel, from the otherworld. Some
background at April's Fool.
WORDCOUNT: 627
NOTES: Written for Kristi.
WHISPERS
by Leni
I didn't die.
No, I'm not in denial. I know what's real and what isn't, despite everything you and the
guys said. You could have been a little more polite about that, you know? I didn't need to
be told I'd never make it into the show business, not that many times. But one of you
always ended that conversation with a 'But she's beautiful enough to', so I forgive you.
Things used to be so simple. We were together, a tight unit against evil. And no, you
won't catch me repeating that cliché again. But we were that, weren't we? I often wonder
where it went to hell, when we began doubting each other. They say that hindsight is
twenty-twenty; what they don't say is that here you can also see where you'd be if you
hadn't, if you didn't, if you wouldn't have... So many ifs that I have to wonder if I
really made all those decisions back then. Some of them went awfully wrong. What a
statement.
Like stealing your gel just to see how your natural hair looked like. Boy, that was
scary. Or hiding Wesley's glasses for April's Fool; did Gunn ever confess that he was the
one who gave them to me? We took one too many wrong turns, didn't we? To end up where we
are, we had to. It's not a bad place, not really. But we could have made a bigger
difference before getting here. We could have been... Yes, we could have been heroes.
Please don't sing that after waking up, okay? Buffy would have my head. Metaphorically
speaking, I mean.
There are a lot of metaphors around here. Not as many shops as I'd have liked. I once read
that everyone makes their own afterlife. I laughed the first time I discovered that my
version of Tiffany's also had this adorable stakes and they carved your initials in
them. How comes you never got me one like that? No, Mr. Broody had to give me a dozen plain
stakes and two lessons for my birthday. Really, because nothing says 'Happy Twenty,
Cordy!' like bruising the unsuspecting girl. Not to forget Gunn and Wesley snickering and
mumbling a merry happy birthday while they looked for the band-aids. Hmph, men!
Figures that memory is what would make you smile. You have a beautiful smile when you
sleep. Buffy seems to think the same, you know? She'll probably tell you that at breakfast
and you'll tell her she's even cuter. You two were always mushy like that. Reminds me of
my parents when I was little. Ew.
See, Angel? I didn't really die. Still here, making sure you don't act like a fool. My
first tip? Get that damn ring from its hiding place. Otherwise she will find it and
there'll be hell to pay. Wait. I want to see that scene, I think. It'd be fun to see you
bumbler and babble as you apologise. You still owe me one for my twenty-first birthday,
buddy. Sexual tension is not excuse enough for gift-lackage. I'll take what I can and hey!
don't frown at me like that! Besides, you're only upsetting your... girlfriend? Future
fiancée? Whatever. I don't want her mad at me, thank you very much. I think she's still
mad after Connor let it slip about the '02 mess. You'd think that boy had a better head
than that. Again, just to prove my point, men!
Time to go. Dawn is coming and I'm still a busy girl. Just one last thing for tonight. Do
you still smile when someone does something I would have done? Do you miss the silences I
would have crudely interrupted? Do you remember me?
You do?
Then I didn't die.
The End
13/10/04
Feedback
would be really nice.
|