DISCLAIMER: I own Buffy and Willow in this story.
TIMELINE: I'll go three years into the future. Willow never resurrected Buffy after 'The Gift'. I'll even slip into denial and say 'Connor who?'. In one word? Right until the finale of S5/S2, completely AU after that.
SUMMARY: What happens when a completely normal and innocent Buffy Summers is misplaced in a world full of vampires and demons?
PAIRINGS: As difficult as it may be to believe (and I'm not kidding)... Buffy/Angel. There's more, but not so far.
RATING: The original thought was PG13-R. Now it's more a R-NC-17 thought. Funny how two years change a perspective.
FEEDBACK: Yes. Definitely. Send me your thoughts. I know it begins with a cliché but I promise it gets better. Or at least it's supposed to.

By the time I wrote this story I hadn't seen a single AtS episode and had no idea about the layout of the hotel or the SC dorms. I've tried to correct it this time, but if there are still mistakes... forgive me and tell me what you know. I have also tried to delete/correct all the mushy parts that aren't my style anymore. If you find any, please tell me?

Oh yeah, lack of Fred is half because I didn't know how to write her back then (I have added some more Gunn in this version), and half because I spent a lot of time with two persons who know who they are. *winks*

As an observation. Wow, I had such an obsession with caps back then!

       HIGH MOUNTAINS, WIDE RIVERS

0 ~ 1 ~2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7

by Leni

Prologue

Present

Eventually she would have known that it could only have been a dream, she really would have. But it had never felt that way. How could it be so real and at the same time--- Just a dream?

It all began last night. God! It felt like months had passed. Well, she had lived months over there, but apparently time progressed differently here.

That night...No. Last night she had only wanted to play a bit. So what if her games ended up turning his world upside down? At least it had only been a dream, hadn't it?

She remembered that Willow had come up with an interesting idea. When would she learn that Willow's ideas always ended up *badly*? - and she was being really nice about it! - Willow Rosemberg had been her best friend since high school. Luckily, they had been assigned to the same dorm room on campus. Unluckily, Willow had developed a tendency to magick, magick books and, of course, spells. Her best friend was a Wiccan and she was... well, she loved her enough to accept her, weirdness and all.

Now, her best friend had been raving mad for weeks. She could still remember the mumbles across the small room: How had Steve dared to break up with her? Was she not enough for him? Of course she was! Steve was just a lowly rat who didn't deserve a second thought! That hadn't stopped Willow from thinking of him every five minutes. Until that... Until *yesterday* afternoon.

Her dear friend had come smiling from her last Coven-meeting. She had not mentioned the evilness of men for two whole hours. She had even been grinning from time to time. When Buffy had asked her what was it about, Willow had just grinned wider. She had thought that her innocent friend had fell prey to a powerful drug. Who knew what happened in those reunions? But, of course, it could not be that simple. Willow had used no drugs, no, perish the thought! Her redheaded witch wannabe had just used some 'contacts' and bugged them until she got her wish.

Now Willow had a spell to show her her soulmate. Wouldn't it be fantastic? No more mistakes when looking for a boyfriend. Just a little spell and all her problems would be solved. Didn't Buffy want to try it too?

She should have said no. She had never believed in those things! But, just to prove Will wrong, she went and accepted. Else, it was only a harmless game, wasn't it? Willow would be disappointed, true, but it couldn't get worse than that.

Buffy really should have refused.

The spell was fairly simple, enough to seem the most innocent when Buffy went through it. Put some odd herbs into a bowl, burn them, put the ashes in your hands, chant a little, concentrate and voilà! Instant vision of your other half and even the knowledge of where to find him.

Simple? Innocent? Buffy snorted. Think again.

But she hadn't actually considered the dangers 'last night', had she?

Once the preliminaries were ready, Willow had insisted they did it at the same time. Wouldn't it be great they found their loves at the same time? The years had proved that any resistance against Willow's stubborness was futile so Buffy had agreed. It should have been easy, shouldn't it? There she was, feeling weird and repeating like a parrot.

"Lass mich ihn sehen.
Lass mich ihn kennen.
Lass mich wissen, wo ihn zu finden.
Lass mich ihn berühren."

And again and again.

"Lass mich ihn sehen..."

Now she knew that Willow really should learn a little more of German. How couldn't she have known that 'berühren' actually meant 'to touch'. *Touch*. as in going there and *touching* her soulmate.

And that was exactly what happened, one moment she was in her dorm, with her magically challenged best friend and then... suddenly... she was in a dark room, on a soft bed and *touching* a sleeping figure.

Why did some men like to sleep naked?

And so it began...


******
Translation of the spell: "Let me see him. Let me know him. Let me know where to find him. Let me touch him. Let me see him..."
*******




Chapter One


She was not in a dark room.

She was not lying on a bed.

And she was definitely NOT feeling skin beneath her hand. There was NO nude body
besides her.

She was sitting by her dinner table.

And she was going to open her eyes.

And she was going to laugh at Will's pathetic spell.

The figure had NOT moved.

The figure had NOT gasped.

The figure was NOT naked.

The figure was NOT a young, handsome, *naked* man.

She was SO going to kill her best friend.

She fainted.


---


"Buffy?"

Buffy awakened slowly. Man, that had been some dream! She was gonna warn Willow about using hallucinogens in her little spells. Or she would do it when that stupid headache stopped.

"Is that really you?"

A faint touch on her cheek. A caress? She tried to open her eyes. Where was she...? Had Will brought her to a hospital? Urrrgh! She hated hospitals! Willow knew that so she better have a very good reason to bring her here. And why was that person touching her? Had she broken a bone or something?

"Buffy?"

She tried to open her eyes. It was difficult. When she finally managed, she had to shut them again instantly. The harsh light of that lamp had practically blinded her. What kind of fool would use such a lamp in a hospital room? She was sure it was forbidden. It was inhuman for God's sake! And then she realised...

Those eyes... she had glimpsed a pair of worried brown eyes just before she had to close her own again. She had seen them before... In her dream... It wasn't possible, was it? She had to be hallucinating again. That was it. She was gonna share a laugh with that poor doctor or nurse when she told him about her weird dream about his eyes. She blushed. She would leave out the naked part... no need to be locked up in the psychological department...

But first things first.

Her friend was gonna get an earful when she saw her. To cast an unsafe spell! It didn't matter if magic didn't exist; those herbs had had something in them! That little irresponsible witch! When she got her hands on her...

"W-Willow?" she asked.

"She is in Sunnydale," the doctor -male nurse? - answered without stopping touching her.

Of course she was in Sunnydale! Where else? She was about to tell the--- doctor or whatever exactly that when he continued rashly, "I can't believe you really are here, Buffy," he whispered in apparent awe . Suddenly, she was swept in a tight embrace. She did the first thing which came to mind.

She screamed.

"HELP!"

The man loosened his grip on her instantly. "Buffy?" he asked concerned.

She opened her eyes. This time the light didn't hurt too much and she could observe her surroundings. She stared in shock at the man in front of her, her cheeks turning bright pink. In those short seconds, Buffy Summers realised three things. First: This man *was* the man of her dream. Down to the point where only a sheet covered his--- intimate parts. She blushed even more. Second: This was no hospital. Third---

"We are not in Kansas anymore, Toto," she murmured.

And she promptly fainted again.


---


The world returned to its normal axis soon after.

That nightmare had been one of the worst. Except for the part where that man had been in front of her.

Her surroundings were silent. She smiled. Thank God, Willow was not researching one of those long-dead mages tonight. She certainly would not stand the *click-click-click* of her mouse tonight. She relaxed and opened her eyes.

The room was thankfully dark and silent.

The bed was comfortable.

The ceiling was higher.

The window was on her right hand.

Dazedly, Buffy thought she might have moved in her sleep. Because normally the window was at her left... and the curtains were a lot simpler than these were... and men were not allowed in the dorm room.

This time she didn't faint. She only stared at the unmoving figure.

"Are you awake?"

She nodded numbly, unaware and uncaring if the man perceived her gesture or not. Apparently he did because he continued firing questions.

"Who are you?"

Shouldn't she be the one asking that? The last thing she remembered was... well, the last thing she remembered *before* him clad in just a sheet was she and Willow doing that silly spell. It was supposed to show them their respective soulmates... did that mean that this man...?

"Who are you?" she echoed.

He stayed silent for some seconds. She felt scrutinised and vaguely comforted by it. She shook her head. < Yeah, comforted by some man you've never seen. Way to go, Buffy! > she thought self-depricatingly.

The man finally spoke. "Then you are not Buffy," he accused with a discouraged tone in his voice.

"Of course I am," she snapped, "I am Buffy Summers and you, whoever you are, are going to let me go in this very instant!"

She was hauled up and pushed into a wall before she realised it. "Do NOT lie to me," the stranger hissed, "I don't know who - or what - you are, but do not dare to tell me that you are Buffy."

Buffy stared at him, a panicked and confused glare that wouldn't serve against someone as strong as this man... He let her go anyway. She fell to the floor in a heap, still looking at him. She was afraid--- no, she was terrified of this man. What did he want of her? What had he done to Willow? What would he do with her? She had read enough newspapers to know what kind of madmen populated the world... kidnappers, assassins, r--ra--rapists...

And to think that the last thing she remembered of her normal life was a harmless spell to meet her soulmate!

"What do you want from me?" he asked. His voice sounded tired, as if he didn't care about her answer.

She didn't have one. She just stared at him bewildered. What did *she* want from *him*? What kind of sick game was he playing with her?

He crouched in front of her. She flinched back until her back touched a wall. She glanced up at him in despair. She didn't want anything. Anything! She just wanted to go home. Unharmed.

He hadn't moved from his crouched position. He met her eyes and looked at her intensely. He shook his head in apparent amusement. "You look so innocent, so scared. I have to give it to them. All these years and they haven't forgotten this humble enemy. Should I be honoured, *girl*?"

She practically felt the sting in that last word. And it was all directed to her. "I--I don't k--know..." She felt the tears begin to gather and fall.

"Ooooh.. You don't know," he said in a patronising voice. At the sight of her tears, he brought a hand towards her. She flinched away and turned her head. She was relieved when he didn't try anything else. "And you are even crying, too," she heard the stranger say. "Are those real tears? I have to ask, you know. I'm known to fall for such tricks." She cried even harder. "Shh, shh... no need to get so distressed. Did they send you to kill me?" Her eyes opened in wonderment.

What was he talking about? "I guess not. Darla didn't want that either..." he strayed off. "Maybe they thought you would make me happy..." he mused aloud, "Are they testing if I could still lose it? After everything Buffy's friends and mine did? They should have known better." He chuckled darkly. "So what am I going to do with you now, huh?"

Buffy felt her whole body go tense at those words. She would be helpless against him. Helpless...

How had she gotten to this situation?

"You are still crying... Drop the act, will you? No amount of tears would make me believe you are her. I'll have to congratulate them for making you so human." She felt him nearing her. "Her very reflection..." A hand brushed against her hair. Her breathing became erratic. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God... "You even got me for a while. So much like her. So many..." Her hair fell loose as he took the hairpin out. "...memories." Oh God. She shivered now. "You even smell like her." She sniffled. "Tell them it was for naught. I won't be defeated by some impostor. Tell them that if they want me..." She could feel his stare even as she wasn't looking him. "... they should at least bring Buffy back."

This time she didn't even protest that she was Buffy.

A small weight against her head. Her hairpin.

Strong arms raising her from the floor.

She whimpered when she felt the soft mattress under her.

"You are still crying, I see," he observed detachedly. "I don't know what you are capable of." She heard as he rummaged through a nearby closet. "But I cannot let you do it." Her hands were hauled behind her head hastily. She cried out at the pain. She felt silent when she felt the manacles around her wrists. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God...

So helpless...

The door closed and silence fell in the dark room.

He was gone. She was tied up. He would come back and then...

Oh God...

Buffy sobbed bitterly.




AN: Now, Kat asked -and I quote- "And what happened to Angel being able to recognise Buffy no matter what?"

Well, I thought I had made it clear but... shame on me, apparently I did not. Angel *does* recognise Buffy in first instance. Just remember the scene where he caresses her and hugs her and what does poor Angel receive in exchange? A scream and -later- a Buffy who wouldn't know about him. Now, I think that Angel would have accepted a resurrected-after-three-years Buffy... but one who doesn't remember him? That's where he begins doubting her identity, and I can't say I blame him. I mean, *Buffy* not remembering *Angel*? In which dimension? In mine, of course. Hope that answered your question, Kat.



Chapter Two


Hours passed and nothing happened.

Not a sound. Not a movement. Nothing.

Turning her head, Buffy could distinguish a clock at the night table. Squinting her eyes, she tried to make out the numbers. 8:30.

Morning or night?

It had been night when she made that stupid spell, she reflected. It should be morning now. Except that it didn't feel like it. No light entered the room except for a slim patch of artificial light under the door.

Or maybe she had been out so much time that it was night again?

She was confused... Why hadn't that man come back? Would she be left here? Forgotten by that man... just like that?

She felt the sting of tears again. She had cried so much in these last hours that she was truly surprised that there were still tears in her.

Buffy wanted out.

And still nothing happened.

She saw as the clock went from 9:59 to 10:00. Now she was sure that it was daytime. She could hear the cars passing by in the street. Rushing cars with rushing drivers who would not hear her screams. She had already tried. Nothing happened. Not even her abductor came to check up on her or gag her or anything. She didn't cry for help anymore. Why bother?

Besides, her throat was sore. It was impossible to utter a sound without feeling a pack of needles teasing her raw skin.

Buffy wanted water. Hell! She wanted far more than water. She was ravenous!

Yes, Buffy was definitely hungry. Her stomach churned impatiently now. She had not eaten anything in... she looked at the clock again: 11:00... 15 hours.

She took a deep breath and prepared for the worst.

"HELP!"

Instantly, she felt the tears come again. Her throat felt as if someone had poured pure alcohol over it. She let herself cry again, the wet feeling on her cheeks confirming that this was no nightmare, that she was wide awake at the hands of some madman who didn't even care about her.

Buffy was hungry.

Buffy wanted water.

Buffy wanted OUT.


***


In a daze, she heard heels clicking against the floor. She didn't open her eyes. "I need the bathroom," she murmured to the mysterious visitor in the room.

She heard a surprised gasp. The clicking came nearer. "It is impossible," she heard the astounded whisper. It was a woman. What was a woman doing here? Had she been found? Had she been saved? The stranger's next words dissipated her doubts.

"At least he didn't maintain you as a secret and wait as you stole his sanity," the newcomer mused aloud. "I can't believe they would fall so low as to..." Buffy heard the pause and felt the woman's intense gaze on her. "Who am I kidding? They are the lowest of the lowest. I just didn't expect them to be so foolish." Buffy tuned her off as she continued her ranting against some 'they'. Where exactly was she?

"Bathroom," she rasped out again when she felt the woman calm down.

"Bathroom? No way. I am not letting you leave that bed, even less this room. Do you think me so careless? That I have stayed alive in this business is not because I'm a brainless chick, ok? In case they hadn't briefed you completely, I'm the Seer, the one with the visions and the migraines, Cordelia Chase---" Buffy started at the known name. "--Angel's partner and best friend," the woman continued.

"Cordelia?" she asked, confused.

"Oh. I see they *have* informed you about me. Well, it's no wonder. Angel told me you asked about Willow. They wouldn't include her without including me, of course."

This time, she did open her eyes. Indeed, in front of her, surrounded by the light of the outer room, was Cordelia Chase, Sunnydale High Princess and eternal snob. Buffy furrowed her brows in concentration and tried to remember what little she had been told of the former May Queen. Nothing had been mentioned about gangs or kidnappers, she was sure. "Cordelia?" she repeated. "What are you doing here?"

"What does it seem I'm doing?" she responded, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'm guarding you, of course! Angel is in no shape to see you without falling apart and Gunn--- do you know who Gunn is?" Buffy shook her head. She didn't even know who this Angel fellow was! Cordelia continued mindless of Buffy's confusion. "I thought so. I mean no harm, but Gunn was never really part of us when you left us. Now it has changed, a little..." Cordelia stopped her musings and got back to the answer. "Well, Gunn has taken Angel on patrol. Poor guy, he has to be really worried about our boss to *insist* going for a sweep to the sewers." She made a face of disgust, which Buffy quickly mimicked. Who were those weirdoes to talk about going willingly to the sewers? "And Wesley is busy trying to decide what to do with you so that left me doing guardian duties." She made a pause and regarded at the tied girl. "Cause problems and I'll demand a raise," she added as an afterthought.

Buffy didn't even want to think about what this Wesley was doing. '...what to do with you...' The words came unbidden to her mind. "Cordelia?" she called her former classmate. She tried to localise her but even raising her head as much as she could, she could not see a trace from her.

"What do you want?" the now familiar voice snapped from a dark corner on the other side of the room.

Buffy tried to look at her with no avail. "What are you doing here?" she asked in the direction the voice had just come.

"I already told you."

"No, no." Buffy shook her head. "I mean this house, here. Why did he send you? How are you involved in this--- deal?" She wanted to say 'gang' but she decided to use a safer word. You never knew how the members felt about their 'association'.

"You don't know?" the voice asked truly surprised.

"How would I?" Buffy said exasperatedly. She felt the sting in her throat again, but ignored it. With Cordelia here, maybe she had a chance to get out of this mess. "I heard you were in L.A. trying to be an actress or a singer or whatever would help you in your way to world-wide fame. Harmony said you would come back home with you tail between your legs and marry a loser in no time." She shut up abruptly expecting the May Queen to tell her off. When there was no response, she continued. Maybe if she tried to get her help... "Look, Cordelia, I know your father had problems with the IRS and that you have no money but I could help you. I really could. My m--" She breathed in. This was her best card. "My mum left me some money in the bank. I--I could give it to you. All of it if you want it... Just--- just let me go, ok? Let me go and we'll go to Sunnydale for the money a--and I won't tell a soul that you were involved in this. I promise." By now Buffy was in tears again. "Please, Cordelia, please. Let me go."

She heard the clicking again and then she watched as Cordelia came from the darkness and stood open-mouthed besides her. She looked at her as if searching for something. Buffy was beyond caring, if Cordelia didn't give in she was... helpless. "Please," she mouthed again.

Cordelia's scream didn't let her continue. "WESLEY!"

"Angel was right," she murmured as they heard the heavy steps coming up the stairs, "you are not Buffy." Buffy stared wildly at her while Cordelia tried to assess the lying girl. "But then, who are you?"

"I'm Buffy. Buffy Summers. We went to high school together. Cordelia, don't you remember me?" She made a pause and breathed deeply to calm her nerves. "Just help me get out of here. I promise I won't even tell the police about this. Just let me go."

"Do you have any problem, Cordelia?" a man's voice asked from the doorway. From Buffy's point of view he seemed pretty inofensive, just a dark-haired guy with glasses on. Of course, giving the fact that handcuffs were tying her to a bed, she really didn't think he was the harmless man he appeared to be. The stranger looked at her and gasped "God..." she heard him mutter under his breath.

Cordelia shook her head and pointed at her. "She--- she---" She breathed in sharply. "She is not what Angel said."

He put an arm around her waist soothingly. "I know she looks like Buffy but you have to understand that it's impossible."

"No!" She turned until she faced him. Although she was just whispering, Buffy could still make out her words. "Look, I know she isn't Buffy, okay? But she recognised me from high school. How many people at W&H know that we were classmates? And she mentioned Harmony*. For God's sake, Wesley! Harm was turned shortly after I came here! Why would the Slayer make chit-chat about me with her? Something is wrong here, Wes. She doesn't even recognise you or Gunn. Gunn, I could understand, she never met him before she..." Cordelia cast a quick glance
at her, "before she jumped," she finished her sentence. "But she didn't even react when I mentioned Angel. How would she kill him if she doesn't react at his name?"

"It's just a trick, Cordy," he declared in a reasoning voice.

Cordelia looked at her one more time and slumped her shoulders. "Yeah, of course Wes... It's just that she is so... real."

In the ensuing silence, Buffy saw her opportunity to speak for herself. "I am real, damn it!" she cried out. "Cordelia is right. I don't know you." She addressed the strange man "Any of you..." She saw the man opening his mouth and cut him out before he could speak. "Look, there's obviously been a misunderstanding here. You're looking for a Buffy. Well, it's not me, alright? Not Me. I'm just Buffy Summers, sophomore at Sunnydale College. I don't know the Buffy you are looking for. I don't even know you..." she finished with a strangled sob.

"And how do you know me?" Cordelia asked after some seconds.

"I already told you. We were classmates. I know you remember me. And you remember Harmony, too. I just heard you speaking about us."

The man shook his head. "And what about Willow?"

She blinked at the sudden change of topic. "Willow? What about her?" Then she remembered that her best friend surely was with her when she was kidnapped. Her gaze darkened. "What have you done with her? If you have touched even one hair of hers, I swear..."

He stared at her in confusion and then looked questionly at Cordelia.

Cordelia shrugged and told her, "Why would be harm Willow? We are on the same side, for God's sake!"

Buffy just laughed at that. What else could she do? "Why? Oh my God! This is too rich!" She calmed a little and then stared at her captors. "I've wondered the same, you know. Why would I be here? Why would you kidnap me?"

"KIDNAP?" both screeched.

"Yeah, kid-nap." Buffy was already feeling sick and dizzy. And she still wanted to use a bathroom. "What else would you call dragging me out of my dorm room?" she continued ironically. "Bringing me here and," she gestured to her handcuffed hands, "chaining me to a bed?"

When she looked at her captors, they were staring at her bewilderment.

"What? Don't like it when you hear the truth?" Buffy snapped.

"Dragging you?" the dark-haired man whispered.

"Bringing you?'" Cordelia said like an echo.

"Yes!" Buffy practically screamed. "DRAG. BRING. And don't forget CHAIN! How could you do this to me? I was just playing around with Willow-- damn it! where is Willow?" She remembered the first 'conversation' she had with the-- *blush* --half-dressed man. "That man told me she was still in Sunnydale. Of course, that'd mean I am NOT there... but that's not the point yet.... Where is my best friend?"

"She is at home. Safe. She and Tara are looking after Dawn."

Wesley nudged Cordelia, reprimanding her for sharing confidential information. Buffy just looked at them in wonderment. After some moments she felt calm enough to ask. "What are you talking about? Why would Willow be with a Tara? Or looking after this Dawn chick?" At their unresponsive and... surprised? ... faces, Buffy continued, "I left Willow at the dorm, ok? We were goofing around with that spell of hers... well, I was goofing, Willow has taken a liking for the occult arts..."

"Don't you tell me!" she heard Cordelia mutter under her breath. Buffy kept on speaking, "And well, that's the last thing I remember before you took me away. So, if Willow was with me and now she is not, I have to ask again: Where is she?"

Cordelia turned to Wesley and shook her head. He just shrugged.

Buffy sighed. What was she thinking when she tried to get them to talk?

After some moments of silent staring, he put his hand on the small of the brunette's back and steered them towards the door. Buffy heard the click of the door closing again and sighed dejectedly. At least, she reflected, she had hoped to go to the bathroom.


***

Present

And she had gone to the bathroom, Buffy mused now. After Wesley returned to the room some minutes later and took a lot of 'samples'.

Buffy recalled the fear she had felt when seeing the syringe and some other instruments. He took some blood, hair and even a piece of her *nail*. Later she would make him pay for a complete manicure, Buffy remembered. The oddest moment had had to be when he sat at her side and put the stethoscope to her chest and listened to her heartbeat. He had seemed surprised at that fact. At that time, Buffy had been too nervous to wonder much about that but now, she nearly laughed aloud when she figured what must have passed through his head.

Of course, there was no reason to laugh now. Would there ever be?




Chapter Three


Buffy writhed when the older guy put the stethoscope on her. What was he trying to do? It was not as if she was ill or something. And she was sure that the man wasn't even a fucking doctor!

She was about to tell him exactly that, when he gasped and stared at her. The look in his eyes stopped her rash words. He then put two of his fingers on her neck. In a sudden flashback to a Biology class, she understood that he was looking for a pulsing point. And she was understanding this ordeal even less...

To be kidnapped, she could understand. There were weirdoes everywhere, after all. But to be touched in such a... clinic... way by one of them--- That was entirely another matter.

Now he looked positively flustered and confused, clutching the stethoscope in one hand and staring at her with wild eyes.

"Keep your hands off me," she hissed as threateningly as possible. Which, since she was chained and imprisoned, was a complete paradox in itself.

Nevertheless, it seemed to work because he stepped out of his stupor, scrambled to his feet, took those damn tubes of him -that damn needle had *hurt*- and scurried to the door mumbling some unintelligible words all the while.

A half-hour later, he came back with Cordelia in tow. Both of them stared her from head to toes and Cordelia murmured something that sounded like a question and Wesley only nodded in response.

Then the brunette neared her and Buffy sighed in relief when she felt her chains being unlocked. "Don't move," an unknown voice warned.

Moving slowly to a sitting position, Buffy could see a black man at the doorway. She shivered when she saw the gun and the sword at his waist. "Are you sure about this, English?" the newest stranger continued.

'English' -what was his name again?- nodded again. Buffy nursed her hurt wrists. They were red and in some parts raw, thank God she hadn't struggled much or there would be blood and -in time- scars. Cordelia gathered her hhands after some moments and put some antiseptic on the red marks. Buffy smiled briefly in thanks before the stinging struck. Fuck it, it *hurt*! She blew on it trying to mitigate the pain a little.

"Do you still want to go to the bathroom?" Cordelia whispered.

Buffy nodded and then looked at the other occupants of the room. Why were they freeing her now? Would they let he go? Just like that?

"Come on, I'll guide you."

Buffy was on her feet in a second and a wave of dizziness engulfed her. "You should know better than that," Cordelia chided gently. Buffy's thoughts came to a halt. Cordelia Chase? Gentle? "After such a long time of just lying down you can't get up so fast, believe me, I know it."

Buffy nodded absently and let the taller girl take her arm and guide her through the room and into a corridor.

After they left the room, she heard the black guy speak in a loud voice. Loud enough for his companions and Buffy herself to hear him. "Darla was also human when she came back." She felt Cordelia's grip getting stronger and winced. "And this blonde is not the bitch who condemned him to an eternity of suffering."

"Not an eternity anymore," she heard the other man comment.

Cordelia opened a door and tugged her arm signalling that they had reached their destination. Buffy entered and wondered why that guy had intended her to hear those words. They had no meaning for her, that was for sure; not that she could say the same from her two other captors...


---


When she emerged from the bathroom, Cordelia was already waiting for her.

Buffy looked up at Cordelia. "I needed a bath after what you've made me go through," she continued casting a glance at the door of her 'prison'. Cordelia followed her gaze and stayed wisely silent. Buffy just hoped she wouldn't lead her back to that room.

Indeed, Cordelia had other plans for their 'guest'. First, she needed to get Buffy some clothes, the ones she had worn were dirty and sweaty, and Cordelia wasn't about to endure them. And speaking about clothes... she took a look at the petite blonde and furrowed her brow. "You are using Angel's bathrobe," she accused.

Buffy shrugged. She had just taken a long, hot shower and it actually had relieved the tension a bit. Her muscles - stiff from the hours chained to that bed - had welcomed the warm water and assuaged the stress. In her relaxed state, Buffy wasn't about to fight with her ex-classmate over some silly bathrobe. "Well, I hope she doesn't mind," Buffy answered tiredly.

The brunette seemed taken aback but refrained from commenting, there would be enough time for explanations and accusations later. "I'm sure Angel won't. Come on, it's time to put you into some clean clothes. Your stay in that room has done nothing for your appearance, you know."

Buffy scowled inwardly. First they tied her to a bed for hours and now they had the galls to expect her to look good? Of all the things...

Apparently, Cordelia had picked her companion's humour. "And don't look at me that way, Buffy, I won't bite you." She tugged her arm and veered her in the opposite direction of the room she had been staying until now.

Buffy sighed in relief. At least they weren't chaining her anymore, she hoped.

Cordelia was totally unaware of Buffy's course of thoughts. She lead the blonde through the house all the while talking about her plans. "I think Fred left some of her clothes at the hotel." She glanced measurably at Buffy and sighed. "Oh well, she obviously wasn't as petite as you but at least they will fit better than mine, that's for sure." She opened a door and tugged Buffy into a room that obviously hadn't been used for a long time. Sheets covered the scarce furniture -Buffy could make out the bed, a table and some chairs - and dust covered the sheets.

Cordelia babbled on, "Now that you are here and we've determined that you are human and aren't much interested in Angel I think we could let you stay here for a while. You could use a room in this other wing. *Way* far from Angel's. By the way, Angel is a *he*." She looked at Buffy and shook her head. "I can't believe I'm telling *that* to *you*," she continued in a lower voice. She opened some drawers until she found the clothes she had been looking for. With a grin, she took a pair of pants and a top from it. She threw them to Buffy and she caught the bundle without thinking about it. Cordelia didn't notice. "I know they aren't the latest, but that was the last thing Fred bought when we went shopping before she left for Texas. They are at least three years old but--" she glanced at the rest of Fred's clothes and grimaced in distaste. "Believe me, they are the best Fred's wardrobe could offer you. I was the one who chose them, after all."

"T-thanks." Buffy said glancing at the garments. They weren't so bad, a few years old and absolutely out of fashion but, as far as kidnappings went, this was hardly expected. She saw Cordelia pointing to an adjourning door. A bathroom, of course. While she changed, she could still hear Cordelia speaking through the door. Obviously, that was only because Cordelia made sure that her voice was loud enough.

"I think you could use Fred's room, cuz it still has her bed and some of her things. I don't think Wesley or Gunn have a better idea and Angel, well, Angel knows he cannot let you roam the streets. Not that he'll want to let you go once he hears the news..." Cordelia sighed. She could already see the Buffy-Angel saga part V coming up...

"But still, if someone saw you it would panic a lot of people. Not that some panic in the demon district wouldn't be good, but... if the Scooby Gang ever finds out about your return... I doubt it would be pretty. They are still sore about your--- ummm--- disappearance (She and Wesley had decided that maybe Buffy was still confused about things and her mind hadn't accepted her death yet. Wesley mentioned that she had to remember that little fact for herself, hearing it from another person could cause serious damage to her psyche.) and they would never forgive us for hiding you. But then, we just cannot let you go, can we?"

She sighed again. Only few times she had felt the proverbial rock and hard place around her. Now was definitely one of those times. "I mean, there's enough problem with them getting used to reformed-Faith all over again. If you're included in the mix, hell! I don't want to think about that. Even if they deserve to know that you're back, well, I guess it'll have to wait. We don't even know how you came back from De-- wherever you were and maybe you'll go back there so--- why bother the Sunnydale team?" She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. "I'm sure I'll have enough handling Angel once you're gone. If you are going that is, if not, well, then I guess you'll have to worry about handling Angel yourself. Not that you ever had problems doing it. Except when you were too busy breaking his heart and leaving him to me to mend. By the way, I think I deserve a 'thank you' for not letting him go greet the sun when Willow came..." As no 'thank you' came her way, Cordelia unlinked her arms to knock the door. "Are you even hearing me, Buffy?"

Pulling the pants up, Buffy only grunted an affirmative. She had heard Cordelia's ramblings; she just hadn't understood most of it. What she did grasp, anyway, was that they weren't planning on letting her go OR informing her friends in Sunnydale anytime soon.

Hearing Buffy's confirmation, Cordy just ranted on. "Finally, I think it's better you stay here safe and sound for now. Until we figure out how and why are you here, of course. And I'm warning you, Buffy Summers, if you're planning on abandoning us again without telling... I swear it, Buffy, Slayer or not I'll make you pay. I won't have Angel mourning for you all over again---" Buffy opened the door and came face to face with Cordelia. She actually took a step back at the determination in the brunette's face. Cordelia pasted a smile on her face and accepted Angel's bathrobe. She looked Buffy in the eye. "You won't hurt him this time, Buffy. Not if I can help it."

Buffy used Cordelia's pause for breath to ask the question, which had been bugging her for some time now. "Who is Angel? You keep repeating his name over and over but I still haven't seen a trace of him."

Cordelia turned to her with a nearly incredulous look in her eyes. Cordelia had a flash of a sixteen-year-old Buffy explaining Angel to her. A vampire with a soul whom the Slayer loved beyond reason. That girl was clearly not the same young woman in front of her now. Cordelia didn't know if it had been her life or her death which had changed Buffy so much... how couldn't she remember Angel at all? "I never thought about explaining Angel to *you*," she mumbled. Cordelia could understand if she didn't want to talk about him, but this... she had the nagging feeling that something weirder was happening. Buffy was not acting like Buffy *at all*. And Buffy was still waiting for an answer. She smiled and added, "but you are not exactly yourself right now, so I guess it isn't that strange after all."

Buffy stared at her. Had she gone crazy in these five years? Of course she was herself! Maybe Cordelia had fell prey to drugs or something, *that* would explain her current behaviour. She let Cordelia take her hand and guide her out of the room and down the stairs. For some moments, neither did say a thing.

"If you really don't remember who Angel is, then I think it's better I give you some pointers," Cordelia began, "Angel is---" She suddenly stopped at a lack of words. "Angel is our friend, I guess." She sighed and veered to the left. Buffy followed her docilely. "It's not enough and I'm sure you would have found a lot more words to describe him, mushy and hurtful alike, but 'our friend' will have to do for now."

Buffy stopped in her tracks and faced the brunette. "Look, Cordelia, I wouldn't have been able to 'find a lot more words' for this Angel because I. do. not. know. him." Cordelia lifted an eyebrow in apparent amusement. Buffy was already seething at her lack of understanding. "The only thing I want is to go back home."

Cordelia couldn't help but smile at the situation. Here was *Buffy Summers*, Slayer extraordinary, the other half of her boss and she couldn't even remember him. Her smiled vanished. What if she and Wesley had it all wrong and this wasn't Buffy after all? It could be someone else in her body. Or even something using a glamour to make them think it was Buffy. She loosened her hand.

"Is your name really Buffy?" Cordelia asked out of the blue.

The question came as a surprise. Buffy thought. She just looked up at the brunette with a 'duh' expression written all over her face.

"Okay, okay, I was just checking." She made a pause. "Where do you really come from, B-- Buffy?"

The blonde girl continued staring at her. Was she dense or what? She forced her voice to sound calm when she finally responded. "I thought we had cleared that matter, Cordelia. The only reason why you could be asking me this is because you don't know where you passed your high-school years yourself."

"How would I ever forget. Hellmouth, sweet Hellmouth," Cordelia muttered. Buffy stared at her quizzically but forgot about commenting when Cordelia grabbed her arm again and led her to a larger room. "Sit down, please." Buffy looked at her surroundings wearily. Not sensing any danger, she obeyed and sat on one of the comfy chairs. "Wesley will come in a moment. He and Gunn went to inform the boss about your humanity," Cordelia commented offhandedly and sat right in front of her. "Now, Buffy, once Angel learns of your harmless condition, nothing will stop him from coming see you, so, as his best friend I have to ask you." She breathed deeply. "Why did you come to him?"

Buffy blinked. "I? Come to him?" Cordelia nodded. Buffy gritted her teeth and practically hissed the rest of her sentence. "Aren't you missing a whole kidnapping plot here?"

"Nobody kidnapped you!" Cordelia cried out finally annoyed.

"Well, I know I didn't come on my own volition. How else would you explain my presence here? Magick?!"

"It could be an option," Cordelia deadpanned.

Buffy stared at her incredulously. The only people she had ever heard speak with such certainty about magick were Willow and her strange friends. "Please don't tell me you are also part of those Wiccan groups."

Cordelia seemed surprised by the question. "No, I'm not. But nobody brought you here either and, well, it's not as if anybody could bring you back from--- where you were."

Buffy was well past being careful. She had tried to reason with them to let her go, she had even begged. But now, if they were intent on keeping her here, they would have to deal with her. "Yeah, I'm sure that not anybody could do something like this." She showed the marks of the handcuff on her wrists. "It usually takes a kidnapper to do such a thing."

"Dammit, Buffy! We didn't kidnap you! We are just trying to know how the hell you appeared here out of the blue after all these years!"

"That's true," a man's voice said from behind Buffy. She turned around and recognised the creepy guy of the syringes and the stethoscope. "We don't have a clue about how did you appear in this hotel."

"Then why don't you call the police?" she asked. When they didn't agree nor reject her proposition and just gaped at her, she continued. "Well, if you just want to help me discover whoever did this, then the most logical action would be to call the police, wouldn't it?"

Not a word.

"I know it wouldn't explain why that guy chained me or why you seem so excited of me being just human, but hey! I'm sure he thought I was a thief or something. I mean, it's totally comprehensible that he wanted to restrain me, he didn't know if I was a threat or not... Come on, guys, help me here! Let's go to the police station and we'll forget all about this nasty event..."

Silence.

The man glanced at Cordelia. Cordelia put a finger to her temple in a telling gesture of believing her crazy. Buffy sighed. This was getting nowhere.

"Er..." Wesley cleared his throat. "Buffy, we do not believe that the police would be our best option in this case. The circumstances of your apparition are, to say the least, far less than common and the police department would be unable to deal with it."

"I'm sure they can deal with a couple of kidnappers who don't know what's better for them," Buffy retorted.

Wesley flushed. Cordelia's face reddened. "For once and for all, we.are.NOT.kidnappers!"

"And then how do you explain this, Cordelia? Me being dragged from Sunnydale? You not wanting to go to the police? Keeping me here against my wish? What ELSE can I think?!"

"Maybe that we are trying to help you!"

Buffy laughed aloud. "Some kind of help this is! You won't even let me tell my friends that I'm alive. They must be worried by now."

"We were worried since we met you," Cordelia mumbled under her breath. Aloud, she retorted, "Of course they are not worried anymore! They've been mourning you for the last years. You certainly can't expect them to be worried!"

"Mourn? Years? What the hell are you talking about!"

"About your death and your lack of consideration coming back without a warning!"

Silence. Wesley looked sharply at Cordelia. She lowered her hands from her mouth and shrugged. Buffy stared at both of the, mouth agape. "Me? Dead?" Wesley sighed and tried to salvage the situation.

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I---" He cast another glance at Cordy "I didn't want you to know of it like that. I'm sorry."

"But I'm not dead..."

"Obviously not anymore."

Wesley silenced Cordelia with a chiding look. "What is the last thing you remember before coming here, Buffy?"

Buffy couldn't believe this. She wasn't dead. She would know it. She was pretty much alive. She heard a question and responded automatically. "Fooling around with Willow." More voices in the background. She never believed in Heaven or in Hell but then why would they exist? Maybe she was stuck in some sort of Purgatory with the souls of her ex-classmate and some other guy. And if she was? Impossible! She would know it! "I am not dead," she said decisively.

Neither did acknowledge her statement but proceeded to fire more questions.

"Don't you remember Glory?"

The name was vaguely familiar. "What does my lab-partner have to do with this?"

Cordelia sighed. "What about Dawn?" Blank stare. "Your little sister?"

"I'm an only child, Cordelia. Just like you."

"Do you even remember Giles?" When she shook her head, Wesley took his glasses off and cleaned the lens.

"Xander?"

However, before Buffy could answer Cordelia's question, Wesley grabbed her hands in one of his and looked into her eyes. "Believe me, Buffy. I don't know for sure what has happened to you in these years, but I--" Cordelia coughed. "*We* will help you."

She didn't know why but she fell compelled to believe the older man. Maybe it was crazy but then, they were the ones calling the shots tonight. She nodded.

Wesley nodded back and went back to his seat. "Now, the first thing we have to determine is how you got into Angel's room. I think that's important to prove my theory."

< I 'got' into Angel's room? > She stole a glance at the curious Cordelia. Buffy squirmed uncomfortably in her seat and felt a blush stain her cheeks faintly. "So that was the famous Angel, huh? I guess he was the guy I first saw, the one with the---" she flustered, "--sheet."

"Sheet?" both echoed.

"Doesn't matter," Buffy hurried to say.

Nonetheless, it seemed to matter to Cordelia because Buffy suddenly felt very uncomfortable under the ex-cheerleader's gaze. "Say, Buffy," she began, "you wouldn't be giving Angel NC-17 performances and then letting him believe it was just a dream, would you?"

Buffy didn't know if the sudden venom in her voice or the ridicule of the question had surprised her more. She just answered with a "What?"

However, Cordelia had refocused on the older man at her right. "He would tell us if something happened, wouldn't he? I mean, after we went through Darla's ordeal I thought he would---"

"Yes, Cordy," he reassured her, "I'm quite sure that Angel wouldn't leave such an event uncommented. Especially if it was about Buffy."

"What is it about me and this guy that everyone keeps mentioning?"

Cordelia ignored her and made another question. "Where is he now? He isn't hunting down every demon that crosses his path again, is he? With Darla it went like that. First, he would forget that we helped him and then he would forget that we existed at all. Imagine what it will be like with *her*..." She pointed at Buffy, who looked at her about to ask again. Cordelia's rush of words stopped her. "Why isn't he with you? Did he fire us again? No, he wouldn't. Did you tell him that she was normal?"

"We didn't find him, Cordy." He looked slightly guilty. "I left Gunn and his guys to search for him."

"Then he doesn't know that Juliet is no demon," Cordy sighed.

Wesley shook his head.

"I just hope he won't turn up believing her to be one of W&H's lackeys and wanting to kill her. If someone doesn't tell him the truth soon then that's what will happen and then we will have him brooding for decades."

"K-kill me?" Buffy stuttered surprised by the revelation. She needed to get out NOW.

"Yeah, kill you. And now that your old tricks can't harm him, I doubt you'll stand a chance. However---" She glanced at Wesley. "Beheading can still kill him, can't it?"

Wesley sighed. "Calm down, Buffy. Nothing will harm you," he said to the girl who was beginning to hyperventilate. "Cordelia, you too. If my theory proves true, I seriously doubt that this Buffy has any idea of what you are talking about."

"THIS Buffy?" both girls questioned in surprised voices. Cordelia continued, "Wesley, there can't be 'this' Buffy because the only one d---" she cast a sorrowful glance at the blonde in front of her. "Er... left us three years ago. There just can't be two Buffys less Anya recovered her powers and shoved us again into some alternate---oh!" She looked at Wesley who just gave her a nod, and then turned to Buffy again. "Are you a scorned woman?"

Silence. Buffy just stared blankly at her and shook her head.

"Are you sure?" Cordelia prodded, "Would you happen to have met a strange girl with some ancient pendant who asked you to make a wish?"

Another mute shake.

Cordelia sighed. "Are you sure she is human?" This time, the question was directed to the dark-haired man. He nodded. "Really, really sure? Because Doyle was just half-human and I never could have told the difference," she said, "right until his face scrunched up and came all red with horns, of course."

Buffy nearly regretted her decision of trusting the nice man and remembered that he had prodded at her with syringes during the whole afternoon. Both were completely unaware of her wandering thoughts.

"Yes, Cordy, she is completely, hundred percent human."

"Yes, I'm human, what else could I be? And could you explain me what the hell is happening?!" Buffy finally demanded, tired of the crazy conversation which was taking place in front of her, and which really did not explain her current situation.

"Yes, Wesley, enlighten us," Cordelia agreed.

"Well, Cordy, as you already have remembered we have proof that alternate
realities are indeed real."

Cordelia simply nodded, Buffy stared at the loonies she had been encased with.

"Could I ask you some questions, Buffy?"

She shrugged. This could not get weirder if she answered some more questions to the nice loony in front of her. "Fire away."

"How did you meet Cordelia?"

Buffy looked at the other girl wondering why it was so important and why couldn't she herself narrate the story. To her surprise, Cordelia seemed as interested in the answer as the man was.

"Well, I moved to Sunnydale after my parents divorced. On my first day at school, I met her in the hall. I think she quizzed me on some stupid things -sorry, Cordelia." Cordelia didn't seem to mind at all. "After that we were, well, I guess you could call it allies, in Sunnydale High the most popular people were never friends. We shopped together and went to the Bronze and at the end of the semester I was already her second-in-command in the cheerleader-team," she finished.

Cordelia was staring open-mouthed at her. "Allies? Us? In Sunnydale?" When Buffy nodded, she glanced in the dark-haired man's direction. "You are SO right, Wes. That never happened here. I mean, immediately after she came to the school she befriended the Scooby Gang and provoked me by threatening me with her stake! That certainly doesn't count as 'alliance'!"

"What are you talking about, Cordelia?" This was getting weirder and weirder.

Cordelia didn't seem to even hear her question. "Besides, it doesn't explain how Willow turned out to be her best friend! If you really were my friend - or my ally - then there was no reason for you to near Willow. That girl was an outcast at school!"

"Thanks to you," Buffy murmured darkly.

Cordelia actually seemed flustered at that piece of truth. "Well..."

"And you know well why I ended up befriending Will. How wouldn't you when you left me to fend for myself when you got wind that after my mum's death I was left penniless!" Buffy felt the old rage coursing through her system again, it had been so long since that time and still the betrayal of her supposed 'friend' cut deep. "It didn't matter that I was disheartened after what happened. It didn't matter if I needed help. Of course you and your crew wouldn't lift a finger to help me! Willow did. She saw me crying in the bathroom and she actually cared about me and forgot all about that first year of me teasing her along with you."

Cordelia flinched at the venom in that last word. "No, no. It didn't happen that way." She shook her head vehemently. "You and the Scoobies were the ones who left me alone in senior year."

Buffy actually laughed. "Oh yes! Senior year." She made a face at the brunette and cooed, "Poor, poor little princess found out that her house and her car and all her other goodies came from stolen money. You know, Cordelia, I always thought it was some kind of cosmic justice or something."

Cordelia looked at her, shocked. And Buffy was surprised to find out that she really hadn't meant it that way. It seemed that she really had some pent-up anger towards the snob princess.

Wesley, who had stayed silent while the girls resolved their differences, decided to take charge of the situation before it got out of hand. "Calm down, Buffy," he said in a conciliatory tone, "you too, please, Cordy," he added when the brunette opened her mouth to retort to Buffy's taunts. Indeed, both girls took a big breath. In Cordelia's case it actually managed to help her calm somehow. She nodded to Wesley indicating that all was okay. He turned to Buffy, who also seemed a little quieter and asked softly, "Tell us, do you believe in vampires?"

Buffy just stared at him.

"Or in werewolves and demons and portals to the hellish dimensions?" Cordelia listed.

"W-what?" she stuttered.


---

Present


And they'd shown her. Oh yes, they had...

Even now, she could remember how petrified she had been in that old cemetery. Although -or maybe because- Cordy and Wesley flanked her, she felt insecure. Insecure didn't begin to cover it when she saw the earth moving at a gravestone and just minutes later a vampire raised from his grave. She had been petrified, alright.

Wesley had killed it -or had it been Cordelia? She was still fuzzy on the details of that night - and all the while she had stayed right in her place, clinging to a cross for dear life. She laughed at the memory. That had to be one of her most pathetic moments in her life. Buffy had been busy trying to cope with the reality of a world which *could not* be hers. Vampires? The evil undead? Supernatural beings? She laughed now at her past naivete, but then... she hadn't laughed, that was for sure.

Later, Cordelia would always tease her openly about it and even Wesley would grin knowingly whenever she bragged to Angel that she was not an easily scared little girl...

Angel...

It was only much, much later that she got to know what Angel had been doing in the meanwhile. 'Hunting' was what Wesley and Gunn called it. Cordelia had found another phrase: ''cooling off while decapitating some poor demons'. Of course, said demons stopped being 'poor' when Angel asked the brunette to clean his sword...

On her part, Buffy had chosen a different wording, one which made Angel laugh -Oh God! If she stayed here... there would be no more Angel-laughs for her to enjoy! They were on a date in one of those expensive French restaurants when she finally told him: "Not brooding for the first time in the century." Trying to be quiet first, then laughing harder, they had attracted every patron's attention. Buffy blushed now. How could they have done *that* in a place as sophisticated as that one! After laughing it off, Angel had tenderly taken her hand in his and admitted that she had been completely right and that, as long as she stayed at his side, he would never have to brood anymore. "Not even if I spend everything in your bank-account?" she had deadpanned. "Which one?" he had answered swiftly. Another fit of laughter and several customers glaring at the unconventional couple in the corner were the outcome of that exchange.

Buffy frowned and clenched her eyes shut to stop a tear from falling. Angel would understand. Yes, he would understand that she was back home. He couldn't be serious about needing her to be happy, he couldn't be serious about loving her so much in so little time...

...not that he had always said so. At first it had been... difficult between both of them. Difficult and perplexing and sometimes just painful. The ghost of *the other* Buffy had been hard to put to rest; especially when she resembled *her* in so many ways. They had overcome that... The last weeks with him had been--- heaven. Buffy sighed now. She wouldn't think of it or she would go crazy...

...maybe just as crazy as she had felt that first night...

She shook her head. That way only lead to madness. Wonderful, perfect, blissful madness... She cleared her thoughts of him and refocused on that first night...

Chapter Four


The hard surface of the gravestone scratching against her back was the only thing keeping her awake. She just wanted to escape this place. That man exploding, the smile in her friends' faces as it did... it couldn't be real.

Vampires were not real.

But then, why had it exploded as the wood penetrated its body?

"Are you okay, Buffy?"

Strong hands grabbing hers. Worried brown eyes trying to glare into her.

Cordelia.

Cordelia, who had been the meanest bitch back in high-school...

...the same Cordelia who had just killed < No, not killed because it was already dead...> Even if he - it? - had moved. So it had to be alive, didn't it? Because nothing dead could move! < No, no! I *saw* him coming out of his grave! He just... revived.>

Cordelia Chase, Sunnydale High princess and snob airhead, the one who wouldn't move a finger to save a friend's skin. Cordelia who had not flinched once that... that creature lunged at her, the one who had protected Wesley's back as he finally staked <*Staked*??> that thing.

Who was the girl in front of her now?

Cordelia never worried about Buffy Summers. Not when said Buffy Summers wasn't 'snagging her guys < Owen, Scott and even that Devon guy> away' without even trying. 'Who are you?' Buffy wanted to ask desperately the now never-known-at-all girl. The question that left her lips was a bit different.

"What was that?" A ting of fear and disbelief could be sensed in her voice.

The brunette sighed in apparent relief. "Oh good. You are still responsive. I believe you had slipped into shock or something. Maybe we shouldn't have brought you here so soon... but we had to or you wouldn't believe." She grabbed her hands as if comforting her. Buffy loosened her hands from hers. She still didn't trust the ex cheerleader. Cordelia just looked at her funnily and shrugged. "You are okay, I see. That's good. It wouldn't do for Angel to find you not okayish. Even if you aren't *her*... only that you also are..." She furrowed her brow looking confused. That was yet another facet for Cordelia, Buffy thought, the girl she used to know would *never* act confused. The SH-Princess was *always* sure about herself.

Just looking at this Cordelia, Buffy was ready to believe in those apparently-crazy parallel dimensions-theories. In her opinion, it was easier to understand Cordelia's change of heart if she was confronted daily with such abnormal situations. The brunette continued, unaware of Buffy's scrutiny. "Yes, you are *Buffy*... only not." She finally shrugged. "Angel just wouldn't like it, you know what I mean, don't you? He still flinches every time he sees a petite blonde from the back."

Buffy stared.

Someone coughed from behind her. She recognised Wesley's voice. "Ehem, Cordelia..." The brunette looked up at him. "I think Buffy asked something..." Cordelia had the grace to look sheepish.

"Oh yeah. What was that, you said?" Buffy nodded. "A vampire, of course. Didn't we tell you on our way here?" Buffy nodded again. "There you are." Then she sighed in exasperation. "I don't know why you had to ask if you already knew it," she sounded slightly annoyed.

"I think that this Buffy didn't believe it at first, Cordy. Remember that she is not the Slayer."

Buffy nodded. What the hell is a Slayer?

"Oh." Cordelia's expression turned understanding. Buffy thought it was as bizarre as that man... In that moment she knew she was as crazy as them... exploded. There. She had thought it.

Cordelia continued. "I also didn't want to believe in vampires and evil hellish things at first. But, after living on a Hellmouth -and knowing the details about it- it becomes impossible to leave that life-style back. As unstylish as it can be and as hard as I tried," she mumbled the last part. "I still remember when you told me about Angel. *Then* I slipped into denial. I remember thinking.'No. Absolutely impossible. A hottie like that has no right to be undead.' Funny, isn't it? Especially now that I'm working for him."

Buffy's eyes widened. "Your Angel is... is---" She turned her gaze to the profaned tomb, just where she thought the ashes had fallen. "Oh," she just said, "Why haven't you k-killed him then? Didn't you just tell me they were all evil?

"Oh no!" Cordelia shook her head. "No! You're getting it wrong, Buffy!" Cordelia rushed to explain. "Angel had a soul. He is a good guy now." She stayed quiet for a second. "He had his evil ways a century ago, that's true." She looked at the unknowing girl in front of her. "Yeah, a long, long century ago." Wesley smiled. "Then he got coursed with a soul as has been your lovely Angel ever since."

"Mine?" Buffy blushed when she noticed Cordy's eyebrow arching as if saying 'You noticed that, didn't you?' She nearly sighed in relief when Wesley's intervention saved her from further examination.

"What Cordelia failed to tell you is that we won against an important enemy some months ago." He paused to emphasise his next words. "He became human. A reward and a need at the same time," he finished thoughtfully.

Buffy could hear Cordelia's "Reward? Ha!" huff. She wondered briefly about it but Wesley distracted her with some new shocking news. "Seems only an human would stop the next Apocalypse."

"So the PTB 'humanised' their champion without asking him," Cordelia muttered annoyed "Thank God they let him retain his strength and some other abilities or he wouldn't have survived those hours at the Greich camp if not for his vampiric endurance."

"I don't understand," Buffy interrupted. And she really didn't. Cordelia spoke of that event with so much bitterness... "Shouldn't your friend's becoming human be a happy occasion?"

Cordelia ignored Wesley's hard gaze on her. "Not when he isn't happy about it." And it was the truth. "You saw his bedroom, Buffy," she continued even when the blonde's eyes had darkened. Oops, bad memory to bring on. "It is still as dark as when he first came to live at the hotel. That isn't healthy, I'm telling you. And *now* he must begin to care for his health. And not only to survive in order to stop the next Apocalypse." She looked at the young woman in front of her. Buffy had arrived just in time. In Cordelia's mind, the blonde girl was her last shot at having a decently happy boss at work. If Buffy stayed (and her guts where saying that the not-Slayer would) then the least she could do to pay for their hosting was to help her friend...

Of course, Buffy was keeping her own track of thoughts, none of them having the least to do with Angel, at least not in a personal way. Her brain was busily trying to absorb all the new information as fast as possible but... < Process later. Ask later. Gather facts NOW. > ...but one word had stopped the not-smooth-enough process. Since then, the word had been digested, assimilated and chewed again until the meaning lost importance and Buffy could gather the courage to ask. "Next Apocalypse?" She was lucky Cordelia and Wesley were silent in that precise moment -they had been whispering about Cordelia's unnecessary (in Wesley's opinion) confession- otherwise they wouldn't have heard her question. So low was her voice...

"Indeed," Wesley answered after throwing one last lecturing glance at Cordelia, "we still don't know when or where but it would be logical to think that it will take place during Angel's lifespan. But, as I said, we aren't sure of anything."

"Yeah," the brunette interrupted upsetly, "the PTB aren't exactly known for their openness towards 'lower beings'," she huffed.

"What's PTB?" She would process this later. L.A.T.E.R.!

"We better go to the car first, don't you think?" Cordelia advised, noticing that goosebumps had covered her arms in the cold air.

Wesley offered his hand to Buffy. She took it and hauled herself form the hard ground in one swift movement. Wesley's eyebrows shot up but he didn't have time to comment as Cordelia was already answering Buffy's last question.

"The PTB? Well, they are to blame for my lifelong inscription to Painkillers Are Us."

"Cordy..." Wesley gently urged her.

She shot back an annoyed glance at him for not letting her whine even a little more. "Okay, okay." she gave up. "You see, the PTB are like gods..."

Buffy now knew better that to let that surprise her.


---

Present

Cordelia had been right about the PTB being cryptic. The only answer Angel got from them was that her presence in that world was an unexpected event that 'would right everything and itself in its own time'. Had they referred to this, Buffy wondered now? Was her return home something they had planed from the first second she landed in Angel's bed?

Then why did they let her stay beside him for so much time? Why had they given enough time to solve everything between them just to shove her back into her world? Why would she stay in that L.A., become friends with the whole gang and enjoy Angel's caresses if she was meant to come back anyway as if nothing had ever happened?

Because *nothing* had happened here. Just as if the last months were just some wild dream.

She now looked around her room. Yes, it was exactly as she had left it all those months ago... No, not months. Just a night. All those days in his arms were not even seconds here... Even her Physics book was lying on the floor next to her study table, just where she had dropped it when she agreed to take part in Willow's fool experiment. She didn't think it was a fool one anymore. The spell had really let her meet her soulmate.

Wasn't it funny how she had never believed in 'soulmates' until that sunset at the beach? Buffy's memories brought her back to that afternoon. Angel and she had just had THE big discussion the day before. All was right between them at last. Even Gunn - impermeable, hard, PDA-hater Gunn - had smiled seeing them. Angel had taken her to Santa Monica's pier and told her all about that day four years ago with the other Buffy (The peanut butter had proven to be as fantastic as he described it.) It was then, hearing him speak lovingly about a woman who was not her, that Buffy *knew* it. Yes, maybe she was a fool for falling completely in love with a man who was just telling her how much he loved another woman but... everything in his voice said how much he wanted to share everything with her, how much he wanted to make more memories just about both of them. Angel and Buffy. Together. Forever. How could she not fall in love?

She shut her eyes and clutched the tiny piece of paper in her hand.

Nothing of that had happened here.

It had been all just a one-night dream.

Her calendar said it was just the morning after. The radio and the TV said the same. She had been concocting some wild story to back up her six-month long disappearance when she had noticed the calendar hanging at Willow's bed. Only one page was torn.

She opened her eyes and looked at her right hand.

The bracelet was still there.

How could it be there when it was only the morning after? A girl didn't bring bracelets back from a dream.

A girl didn't leave her heart promised to one.

She threw the calendar paper away and lovingly traced the bracelet and its tiny cross charm. A smile formed slowly.

He had been blushing when he gave her this silver jewel. Second Month Anniversary had been it, the whole hotel at their disposition for a whole day (Cordelia's gift along with a teddy that even *now* could make her blush), a light comedy based in 'Romeo and Juliet' (He said it was appropriate for them. She had giggled at his comment), dinner at the beach ("I'm hungry." "This chicken tastes wonderfully, Angel, you're a god in the kitchen." "I'm not interested in food." Brown eyes appreciating her...) and a night made of stars and dreams in their room ("This... this is for you, Buffy." Silver glints in candle light. Blissful perfection. "Oh my God! It's lovely! Help me put it on?" Light caresses on her wrists. Whispers. "It will be a ring when you feel ready for it." She had wanted to answer. He shut her up with a tender kiss.) Now she felt tears on her cheeks. She had been crying that day too, she thought now, tears blurring the bracelet's image. Those were happy tears. But it had been so different.

So very different.

Buffy shook her head. She couldn't have dreamt that moment, nor Cordelia covered in purple slime AND all dishevelled. She couldn't have dreamt herself being attacked by a Greich and a Dorgh with their claws and sharp teeth.

Buffy stared at the bracelet.

Angel was a dream come true. < Quite literalyl, I must add. > but she hadn't dreamt him.

She couldn't have dreamt that she loved him---




Chapter Five


Wesley was the first to leave the car, closely followed by Cordelia and a pale Buffy.

The ride back home had been tense, and that was putting it mildly, Wesley decided. With Cordelia rambling about this world's reality to a shocked Buffy who couldn't even grasp the basics. True, she had assimilated quickly that vampires and other demons existed, but Wesley knew that such news were causing havoc in her unprepared mind. And it was even worse the fact that she didn't really trust anyone in this world, the only one who she recognized from her home was Cordelia... Wesley sighed, why was it that Cordy couldn't be friends with Buffy in *any* world?

They needed to hit the books *soon*. Buffy's presence here was not only a personal chaos for herself but for his friends too, the only one who was personally unaffected by it was Gunn, and even he was being protective of Angel, as his earlier behaviour had proved.

Angel... he was Wesley's foremost worry right now. Cordelia had been shocked by Buffy's presence but her relationship with the dead slayer in no way related to Angel's. Wesley shook his head, he could only imagine what Buffy's unexplained presence was doing to him. Add to that the facts that she was wary of him due to his 'erratic' behaviour when he discovered her (he still couldn't see why she might have ended up in Angel's *bed*. From that angle he could easily support Angel's early assumption of this being another of W&H's plans... but, shouldn't Buffy know Angel to be able to attack him?) and that they didn't know how to get her back to her rightful home...

Wesley gave a weary sigh again and opened the hotel's door.

A gasp welcomed them.

---

Buffy let her eyes widen as they met the still figure at the centre of the lobby.

It was him.

With everything happening so fast in the last hours she had relegated the memory of his 'welcome'. Besides, Cordelia had actually made her understand where he was coming from. She guessed she would have acted weird too if her dead ex boyfriend had appeared on her bed after three years AND didn't recognize her. Yes, she understood his motives, but that didn't mean that she had quelched the fear she had endured dring those hours in his room.

Not knowing what would happen next had been the worst. Closely followed by the memory of his cold, furious voice. Buffy shuddered a bit. She still had the bruises from where he had grabbed her and another marks from the manacles he had used on her.

Somehow, Cordelia's words and her own short memories didn't do him any justice. < Wait a minute. Maybe they had. hadn't Cordelia said something about him being a hottie? > She sharply ordered her own mind to stop rambling when she felt the dark stare he sent in her direction. Buffy slipped rapidly out of her musings.

"Gunn told me," was all he said.

Buffy noticed Cordelia's mouth opening and unthinkingly prayed for a miracle. Maybe this Cordy was far more human than the one in her world, but she still knew how to worsen things just by talking.

The miracle came in the form of Wesley's voice. "She will stay here until..."

Angel nodded curtly, mumbled something intelligible which sounded like: "I understand." and quietly left the room.

Buffy hadn't even thought consciously about it before she was running -yes, running- after him.

Cordelia's sigh was the last thing she remembered before finding herself in some corridor far from curious looks and feeling those darks eyes boring into hers.

---

Present


Indeed, Buffy remembered fondly, Cordy had enough reasons to sigh. As she would state repeatedly over the following weeks, it was her responsibility to stop non-vision-induced migraines caused by 'these damn fools who wouldn't recognise Love even if It were stripping naked in front of them!' True to her word, Cordy would often sit with her or with Angel while they ranted/brooded about each other and then proceed to give her -painstakingly truthful - point of view..

Buffy looked down at the shirt she wore now. Cordelia would go into conniptions if she didn't get it back. And Buffy doubted there was express-mail between dimensions....

If it were so, she probably would mail herself. Physics exam be damned. Anyway, as she hadn't even opened a college-book in the last months, she seriously doubted she would pass the test.

She looked at Willow's secret chest.

If only she could have said 'good-bye'. Buffy stared at the tiny cross on her wrist. It wouldn't have been more difficult than to say 'Hi'. Especially because she never really did.


---


Buffy didn't know what to say now. She wasn't even sure why she went after him at all. "We'll have to live under the same roof for some time now," she said to herself, trying to rationalise her actions, "May as well get along since now." But words just wouldn't come out.

Angel stared at her impassively and for the longest moment she felt absolutely helpless. Flustered, Buffy lowered her gaze only to notice his fists clenching and unclenching furiously. They stopped the moment he noticed her gaze on him.

Silence hung upon them and she could almost see him passing past her even before he decided it. She blinked at herself. Whoa! Where did that come from?! "I'm sorry," she blurted out when he actually moved.

He stopped hesitantly.

"You didn't threaten a complete stranger." His eyes weren't looking for hers anymore. That made her flinch. Whereas Cordelia had been trying to make her feel welcomed, Angel's words made her remember that she really was a stranger. Not only to them but to the whole world. "About the chains, I hope you understand." He was still looking straight ahead as he said that.

Buffy fingered the tender skin on her wrist. Fortunately it had already healed. "Yeah. You didn't know I was..." What? The other-dimensional-twin of your dead ex-girlfriend? "I'm sorry I'm not her," she blurted out. She had to say it. Ever since she began believing about parallel worlds and alternate 'Buffys' she had felt not in place. As if she was usurping someone, even if that someone was already dead and buried, Buffy felt that she shouldn't taint her memory. Especially with this man. Buffy knew that an apology wouldn't serve anything but at this very second she felt it was the least -and the only- she could offer Angel.

"No, you aren't." His harsh words were unexpected but Buffy knew a dismissal when she heard one. When she got to the living room, Cordelia was already complaining about Angel. Buffy followed Cordelia's distressed look at the large sword on the counter. Why would the woman react that way...? She looked at the scene a bit closer and then had to run to the bathroom as it sank in what the red slimy cover was.

---

Present


"Even that first night would be better than this," Buffy decided. Even Dorgh saliva, Wesley's pancakes and Angel's eggplant stew (She had always hated eggplant!) would be better than this... loneliness. 'This' was an ill feeling spreading from her stomach to her brain and back down again. A numbling nausea which had begun the moment her friend had just vanished into thin air, only to possess her whole being when she realised that she had been the one to leave them.

Her eyes stopped at the slip of papers at Willow's bedside. Her friend was never careful about her magical items. You could always find some spell in her Literature books and nearly everyone on campus knew which one was Willow's 'secret' chest. But that wasn't exactly what Buffy was thinking now, in a sudden flashback she had remembered the fateful words of yesterday's night Those papers were the same her friend had used last night, Buffy knew it. She could almost feel the German phrasing on her tongue. "Lass mich ihn sehen" it began. "Lass mich ihn kennen," she muttered under her breath.

Buffy hut her mouth abruptly, realising what she would have caused if she had finished the chanting. Well, not exaclty, she first would have needed the herbs that surely were in Willow's chest, mixed them in the bowl that was still on her nighttable and finally put the mixture on her hands, beggining with her thumb and always clockwise... Wait. What was she thinking? She couldn't go back! She was already in her rightful place!

Wasn't she?

To leave the real life for one she was just beginning to build for herself? Would it be worth it? To abandon what fate had destined for her in this -her- universe?

With that spell - and some candles and herbs she had learned to handle in Wesley's company- she *could* go back.

Her gaze swept through her room, she looked at the unmade bed and the familiar closet in a corner. Her fists clenched. She was back home.

She glanced down at the bracelet.

... only it didn't feel like home anymore.




Chapter Six



“Home, sweet home,” Buffy sighed as she looked fixedly at the door in front of her. She tied the robe a little tighter around her body and breathed deeply before stepping into her new room. < I should have waited, > she thought tiredly when she noticed Cordelia sitting on the bed. “Hi,” came her awkward greeting. Buffy still couldn’t get used to the idea of living under the same roof as Cordelia, much less that the brunette seemed to have a free pass into every room, included those where she wasn’t invited. She decided to ignore the ‘visit’, sometimes that had worked with the Cordelia from her past, and walked to the small vanity table against the furthest wall. Grabbing the brush she’d been given the night before - Cordelia had grumpily stated that she’d really need it if she were even the tiniest bit like her local < Dead. She is already dead. > counterpart - she passed it slowly through her wet hair, careful not to look n the bed’s direction.

Obviously, that wouldn’t stop her ex classmate from saying her piece. Not a minute had passed, when Cordelia’s hand slapped the mattress in an impatient gesture that startled Buffy. “This time you already knew whose robe you’re wearing,” she commented with an edge to her voice.

Still not facing her, Buffy shrugged. “I thought it was better than to parade through the hotel in nothing but a towel.” Had she turned around, Buffy would have noticed the brunette’s hearty nod. “What did you want, Cordelia?”

“I know we’ve never been friends or anything like tha-“ Buffy snorted and turned around in her seat with an warning expression. Cordelia sighed; but didn’t relent. “See? That’s my point. Look, Buffy, things were never smooth between us, and from what you told us, they were probably a lot worse in your reality .” Buffy nodded but didn’t comment. “I wanted you to know that Wesley and I - and even Gunn. Don’t mind his early behaviour, he just was worried. We all were.” Noticing that Buffy’s look had shifted into slight hurt at being considered a danger, Cordelia quickly returned to her original topic. “We all are investigating your apparition here and we’ll do our best to see you go home.”

Buffy tried to smile at the comforting words. She really did. But she hadn’t studied Psychology for nothing and she knew that what Cordelia’s words had omitted would bother her if she didn’t ask. “What about Angel?” Incredibly, the brunette’s eyes were suddenly shadowed by suspicion. What the…? Cordelia talked before she could ask.

“Angel?”

“You mentioned yourself and your friends,” Buffy began calmly, shoving the strange reactions she got every time she mentioned Angel away for the moment. “But you didn’t include him. Why not? Does he not want to help me? Why wouldn’t he? What’s his problem with me?”

At first Cordelia was taken aback by the onslaught of questions; but by the time Buffy had finished, her face set into a determined expression. “You,” she answered frankly.

It was Buffy’s turn to be surprised. Then surprise faded to leave something like acceptance instead. “Oh.”

“Don’t take it personally,” Cordelia was quick to reassure. “It’s just that… Well, this is… and Angel wasn’t prepared for….” She shook her head. “You have to admit that this is weird, Buffy, even by our standards. Not only did Angel wake up to finding you, but you weren’t even an enemy or her. He can neither destroy you or…” Cordelia trailed off, the uncertainty in her voice reminding Buffy again how different this girl was from the air-headed princess she’d left behind.

“It is too much to have his ex girlfriend’s exact replica under his roof,” Buffy summarised when it was obvious her companion wouldn’t continue.

Cordelia nodded and mumbled a soft “Yeah” in reply. A silent moment ensued; but she squared her shoulders and looked straight at the blonde some meters away. “But I didn’t come to talk about Angel. I came to make peace with you.” Buffy raised a doubtful eyebrow and Cordelia wanted to laugh. Here was this girl accepting rather calmly that vampires were real and yet she was sceptical about her change in attitude. An unsettling thought sobered her, had she actually been that mean in highschool? “Look, whatever I… or that Cordelia… did, I’m sorry.”

Buffy stared at the other girl for some moments, again beginning to brush her hair absently. If she were an impartial observer, she would have to admit that Cordelia seemed honest in her apology. The mere fact that Cordelia Chase was apologising was enough grounds for believing in her. But Buffy wasn’t impartial were the school tyrant was concerned; a girl with that face had kicked her when she was at her lowest and no matter how highly Buffy thought herself to be… “It’s not that easy.”

Cordelia’s eyebrows scrunched in slight irritation and she stood up rigidly, her eyes recovering that annoyed air Buffy recognised instantly. Same old Cordelia, she thought inwardly. “If I can talk to Willow for a straight hour without interruption, then you can very well talk to me,” she said testily.

Would the surprises ever end? Buffy thought in dismay. “This Willow talks to you? For real? In friendly terms?” She asked totally baffled at the apparent change of heart in her best friend. Her eyes widened in honest curiosity. “How comes she forgave you?”

Cordelia’s mouth was hanging open until she noticed and snapped it shut. The corner of her lips twisted in a bitter smile. “Willow? Forgive me?” A chuckle. “You really aren’t from this world.” She shook her head, as if dispelling it from unwanted thoughts. Her hand went to her abdomen and Buffy watched as it traced an imaginary line over it. “Tell me, Buffy,” she finally said conversationally, “is there also an Alexander Lavelle Harris over there?”

Buffy’s mouth opened on reflex. “You know his middle name?”

---

Present

Buffy threw the closet’s door open and sighed in relief when her eyes caught the framed picture. Sure enough; Wills, Xander, Jesse and herself were there, grinning madly in a snapshot from their day at the amusement park. The Four Musketeers - Willow had patiently explained that there were really four of them - in their happiest times. Buffy remembered it had been the summer before their senior year, long before they had to worry about getting into college, picking a career and those unsavoury facts of life that separated them.

Buffy sighed. It surely wouldn’t have been so hard had they known what had awaited them in a parallel universe… She passed a careful finger over Jesse’s smiling face, squelching the urge to pick up the phone and speeddial his cell phone’s number. He wouldn’t understand her sudden preoccupation and she would never have the heart to tell him about it. In all the months she had spend there, one of the hardest news to accept was Jesse’s death. A vampire, Willow had told her after Xander left the room suddenly, snapping the door closed behind him. Staked within a week of her coming to Sunnydale. That Buffy had never gotten to know his really bad jokes and his eternal collection of socks that never matched. “Yellow and purple on Monday mornings are the only thing that makes waking up worth it,” he used to say. “Well, that and Cordelia’s face when he sees them,” he added when he finally got over his crush-slash-obsession. That boy had been important in their lives. Why, she remembered with a fond smile, one Monday morning long into college life she and Willow had surprised each other wearing the infamous colours…

Buffy shook her head and left the picture back in its usual place. She couldn’t abandon her friends.

Not when she had just gotten them back.

Wasn’t that what she’d wanted? Coming back?

---

Buffy left the door open when she entered her room, only worried about making it to her bed before crumbling down. The flavour of the orange juice she’d managed to drink for breakfast was now unwelcome as she tried to swallow her sobs. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t. It hadn’t been her decision to come here. It sure as hell hadn’t been her idea to come to this crazy world where sharpened axes were present in the kitchen and demon hunting tips was as common as asking for more milk around the table.

Damn Willow. Damn stupid spell. She stopped a tear with the back of her hand, knowing it was impossible she’d stop the others from coming. This world wasn’t hers, she didn’t fit. Cordelia and Wesley kept giving her long inquisitive looks when they thought she didn’t notice. Buffy couldn’t shake the feeling that her every action was monitored and filed away and she’d rarely felt more uncomfortable than last night when Cordelia’s eyes widened as she accepted the tea Wesley had offered.

Buffy only wanted to get her life back to normal. She didn’t want to be stuck in this depressing hotel; she didn’t want the pitying looks she received one minute or the prying ones coming next. Was it wrong? Wanting to go back into the world she remembered? Even if it was only a version of it? Her lips tightened as she remembered Wesley’s words. Well, what right did he have to decide where she came or went? Buffy Summers wasn’t a goddamn toddler and she didn’t care about the so called ‘rules of the universe’. Screw Wesley. Screw his opinion. Screw those idiotic rules. She was going home and nothing, much less an eccentric bunch of freaks, was stopping her.

That determination in mind, Buffy got up from the bed and threw her hair back in a show of defiance nobody was to witness. Glancing at the clock, she was surprised when she realised how many hours she’d stayed sulking. < Like the little girl I’m not. > Finding them was easy, she just had to follow the murmur of voices from the only closed room in first floor. If they thought such a little thing would stop her... Buffy didn’t consider it twice before throwing the door open.

Her hosts didn’t even have the decency to show some surprise at her impetuous entry. Cordelia just rolled her eyes a little and motioned to Gunn to lower his sword. Wesley just nodded in her general direction, his eyes always glued to the text in his hands. Now that she noticed it, the three of them were surrounded by books. “What are you...?”

Buffy didn’t get to finish her sentence before Cordelia tugged her arm down, ruthlessly sitting her on the chair next to her. “Now that you came to us, you sit there and help us.” The brunette scanned through the collection at her side and finally gave Buffy a small pile of the thinnest books. “If you don’t understand the language just leave it for Wesley or Angel.” She gestured to the tallest piles in the room.

“Wait...”

“If it’s too gross a mental image.” At that Cordelia leaned more into Buffy as her voice lowered considerably. “Close your eyes really tight and skip to the next paragraph.” Then it raised again. “Just suck it up. We all have to.”

“You know we heard you, Cordy,” Gunn commented offhandedly. Wesley nodded again.

Cordelia rolled her eyes and shrugged. “Whatever.”

Buffy blinked at the bizarre exchange, then blinked some more when she cracked the first book open. She snapped it shut immediately, suddenly remembering why she’d decided not to become a surgeon. She breathed deeply, trying to forget the printed picture and instead focused on her earlier decision.

Right.

She got up, throwing the book carelessly onto her seat. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Cordelia make a quick grasp for it and put back into safety. Buffy closed up the few steps to Wesley’s chair and decidedly put her hands under the covers of his book, closing it before he had time to react. Wesley’s head snapped up to regard her, annoyance and concern mixing in his expression. “I gather you still have a hard time accepting the situation I illustrated this morning.”

Buffy nodded.

“Yet I hope that by now you’d considered all the arguments I explained and accepted the imminent consequences.”

“Arguments? You just said that, and I quote, it wasn’t a good idea and that you and the others wouldn’t let me do it.” Buffy shook her head. “So no. I don’t accept those consequences because I don’t accept those arguments.” Her finger made quote signs at the last word. “Tell me, Wesley, why can’t I go to Sunnydale?”

Still in his chair, Gunn lifted an eyebrow. Wesley sighed and put his book aside, then his hands came together on his lap in the same way they’d done that morning. “It wouldn’t be recommendable for anyone.”

Buffy shook her head in denial. “But...”

“Are you daft or just blind?” The voice startled her, making her turn around to face Gunn. He didn’t seem intimidated by the annoyed look she gave him. “Come on girl, their Buffy has been dead and buried for years, Buffy.” He shook his head at the apparent incoherence in that sentence. Cordelia also reacted to the double mention of ‘Buffy’, bringing a hand to her head to massage her temple. “What? You think you can ring the witches’ doorbell and state your business like a salesman? Did you think at all, girl?”

Buffy blushed at the direct attack. Truth was that yes, that was more or less the approach she’d considered. She knew it would be weird. But how could it be any weirder than these people’s reactions? At least, Buffy doubted Willow would chain and interrogate her. Besides, maybe they were right but at the end of the day... “Sunnydale is my home.”

“Things are just beginning to go smoother in Sunnydale,” Wesley explained gently. “The first months after our Buffy died were rather... problematic. Your friends have barely found their roles in your, excuse me, her absence. Not to mention the trouble that Faith’s return caused.” Buffy’s expression didn’t show any recognition so Wesley explained further. “Faith is your replacement, after a fashion. The group didn’t welcome her very amiably.”

Cordelia shifted in her chair. “Who would?” she muttered, making sure the volume was enough for the others to hear.

Wesley didn’t pay her any attention, still focused on Buffy. “They aren’t prepared to deal with you on top of their other issues,” he finished, obviously willing her to understand their position.

Buffy couldn’t deny there was some reason in his words. But she still didn’t want to relent. “You say they know about this...” She nodded toward the books. “...supernatural stuff. Surely they would understand this as well. They are my friends. I know them. Please? I’m sure neither Willow or Jesse or Xander would turn me away.”

“Jesse?” Gunn mouthed silently at Cordelia. She began shaking her head but suddenly her eyes widened as she gasped, staring at Buffy with a surprised expression.

Buffy continued unmindful of the exchange. “You accepted my arrival very well, how could they do worse?”

“Very well?” Wesley asked in surprise. “You call ‘very well’ the welcome we gave you? The...”

“Dragging,” Cordelia supplied.

“Bringing,” Wesley continued.

“And don’t forget chaining!” Cordelia concluded with the hugest roll of eyes.

Buffy blushed at the reminder of her accusations. Not that she hadn’t had good grounds to make them; but in retrospective they sounded rather silly. “Well, those things considered, I guess.” she began lamely, “Maybe you could be right. But.” Her voice steadied and she ignored Cordelia’s loud sigh. “I still want to go.”

“Why?”

Buffy looked at Gunn, unsure about his motive to ask such an obvious question. “Because I miss my friends. I told you, Sunnydale is home.”

“This Sunnydale isn’t,” Gunn argued. “This, let’s call it ‘version’ of your friends aren’t your actual friends either.”

Buffy felt a bit flustered at the logic in that. “I just want to see them,” she admitted. “And I thought that if my Willow brought me here, maybe this Willow could---”

“Get you back?”

The new voice surprised the four of them.




Chapter Seven


Buffy turned around to discover Angel standing just some steps behind her. “Yes.”

Angel nodded severely, walking past her without acknowledging any of his co-workers. He picked up the book Wesley had left aside and leafed through it. Strangely, as intent as he seemed in his reading, Buffy didn’t think he was actually concentrated on it. There was silence until he looked up and addressed her again. “She can’t. Forget Sunnydale.”

Buffy gaped at his words. At that moment Wesley’s cautions and Gunn’s words were forgotten, theirs had been well meaning advice. Angel’s words were an order and whoever he was in this world, in Buffy’s he was still the stranger who didn’t have any say in her life. A hand went to her hip as the other pointed a finger to him. If Cordelia gasped at the sight or Angel tensed for a second, Buffy was completely oblivious to it. “What? You yourself mentioned that this Willow is powerful, Wesley even said she has the greatest potential ever seen. How would you know what she can or can’t do?” The accusatory finger retracted as both arms went to a protective stand over her chest. She kept silent for a moment, the next thing the group knew, Buffy’s eyes had narrowed dangerously and she was using them to pin Angel down. “Have you already talked to her?” She accused him. “Did you go behind my back to discuss me with my friends?”

Angel’s jaw set in anger, an expression his friends recognised instantly but was lost against Buffy’s own fury.

Watching the scene unfolding before him, Gunn nudged Cordelia softly. “Wow, does she know to jump to conclusions!” he whispered to the brunette.

Cordelia looked at them alternatively and hastily put a hairlock behind her ear, a sure sign that she was nervous about something. “Same old, same old,” she whispered back. “That made them such a couple.” Gunn’s eyebrows lifted in curiosity and nudged her harder. Cordelia relented with a sigh. “Buffy jumped to conclusions, he walked her patiently through a plan. Angel mused on a course of action all night, she made him decide at once.” Gunn nodded in understanding but Cordelia touched his arm, signalling she still had more to say. “That was how it worked back then. But now...” She straightened her blouse’s collar when Angel sent her a silencing look.

“But now the boss doesn’t look as someone with any patience left,” Gunn completed the sentence, meeting Angel’s gaze with a challenging one of his own.

Deciding that ignoring the sideline commentary was his best option for the moment, Angel redirected his attention on the seething blonde before him. “No, I haven’t told Willow.” Buffy’s glare didn’t lessen. “Or anyone in Sunnydale at that. What kind of friend would I be then?”

“The kind that won’t let them see me. I bet they’d be happier to have me over than you are. They are my actual friends, after all.”

Unknowingly, he repeated Gunn’s earlier words. “No, they aren’t. Just as you are not Buffy.”

“But...”

Tiredly, he passed a hand in front of his eyes. “Yes, you are Buffy.” The mentioned girl couldn’t help but notice how different his tone was as he said those words, almost sad. His voice gained strength as he went on. “But are you Buffy, the vampire slayer, loving sister and missed martyr? Can you understand Willow’s magic addiction or accept Xander’s ex demon fiancé?” Buffy lowered her gaze, knowing that she was fighting a losing war. She couldn’t picture a Willow with an addiction or a Xander on the way to marriage, demon brides notwithstanding. “No. You aren’t Buffy, the vampire slayer. You are afraid of the simplest fray and you don’t...” He sighed. “You are just a college student, Buffy Summers.”

“So I’m not good enough for them?” Buffy cleared her throat after asking the question, surprised at how hurt and small she had sounded.

Angel turned around abruptly and Buffy thought that he’d closed his eyes before doing so. Wesley chose that moment to make his presence known again. “Angel isn’t trying to hurt you on purpose. What he is saying is what we’ve tried to explain all along. They don’t need you, Buffy. In any case, they would need their friend back.”

“Let this absurd wish go. Just let them in peace.” Angel added, still not facing her.

Buffy was close to tears and she knew it. Damn it. Nothing was going as she had planned. “If I’m so useless, why do you let me stay here? All this chatter about realities and rules of the universe, can’t you let me go? Why not shove me back to my world?”

“But that’s what we’re doing!” An annoyed Cordelia interrupted. “Why else would we be buried under these books?”

“You could ask Willow for help, at least,” Buffy said hopefully, uninterested in Cordelia’s outburst. On its own volition her arm extended to touch Angel’s back, but she snatched it back before he could notice. Nevertheless he turned toward her again, and shook his head.

“Months after Buffy died, Willow immersed herself in the study of the black arts. She wanted to...” he trailed off and Wesley came to his help again.

“Willow considered calling her friend back,” he summarised.

Buffy was confused until an idea came to her. But surely her conclusion was wrong... “Resuscitation?” The grave expressions around her confirmed it. “Is Willow that powerful?”

“She is quite a gifted Wiccan,” Cordelia offered.

Angel nodded. “She is. Her lover and Xander called me. Between the three of us we managed to dissuade her from her attempt. But even after we did it, Willow wasn’t the same anymore.”

“The results weren’t pretty at all,” Cordelia remembered. Gunn and Wesley grimaced at the memories. Buffy just listened, half fascinated and half sickened by this story. She could hardly believe this was Willow they were talking about, the same who botched the simplest spells and was always too happy for her own good.

Angel continued the tale. “Willow had tried to drown herself in black magic, that alone would have had severe consequences. What made the situation worse was her feelings of failure. She felt she had disappointed one of her best friends, failed to protect the one who’d protected her.”

Cordelia shuddered visibly. “It was awful. Her hair was all black, the same as her eyes.”

“Not a sign of life in them,” Gunn said.

Wesley decided to add something. “She ate, slept and walked like a normal person but...”

“She was lost.” Angel looked at Buffy, trying to make her understand the severity of the situation. “After many weeks we finally came up with a plan. It was something seemingly simple, but innovative enough that it could work.”

“Xander’s plan, of course,” Cordelia interrupted with a wry chuckle.

“One day we went to her room and reminded her about parallel dimensions. We had crossed upon some of them in the past by that point and had some experience in the matter. Anyway, Fred, Xander and I began discussing the matter in front of Willow, making sure she’d listen to the different arguments. While Xander explained about the dark reality they’d brushed with years earlier because of---“

Cordelia coughed loudly, a light blush covering her cheeks. Gunn chuckled beside her, she had always reacted that way after Anya had told the whole story.

“Because of a spell,” Angel continued. “Fred told them about dimensions with very little to do with ours.”

“We are 'cows' there,” Wesley interrupted.

Buffy’s surprised eyes made all the questions but Angel waved off the comment with a shrug. “Eventually we got her interested. Tara proposed that they investigate and Willow accepted. It was still magic, but it wasn’t a dark one, it should help bringing Willow out of her self-imposed shell.”

“Did it?”

“Slowly. Only after six months did they gather all the information they would get. That’s why I tell you Willow won’t be able to help; nothing in those texts included a case such as yours.”

Buffy glanced up at him sharply, her expression incredulous. “Then, if Willow already knows everything.” Her shoulders drooped. “What are we looking for now?”

“Angel didn’t help Willow as much as he claimed.” Cordelia gave a short laugh.

Buffy furrowed her brow. “What?”

Wesley was the one to answer. “You have to understand that, by necessity, Angel’s collection is very extensive. There were many books that wouldn’t have been recommendable for Willow to read, not in her state. She had barely gotten through the worst of her addiction; books that powerful could have easily tempted her away from recovery.”

Buffy nodded, understanding the predicament they’d been in. Especially that it meant that there was hope yet. But in the meanwhile... “I guess moving out of the hotel is out of the question as well.”

“There are too many dangers out there.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Oh please! I’ve grown up here. Now I even know that vampires are real and I’m prepared against them, what else could L.A. throw at me?”

Suddenly Angel was so close that she had to back away. “That’s exactly what I talk about. You know nothing, you little girl. ‘What else’, you ask? Have you even thought what would happen if any of Buffy’s enemies saw you?” Suddenly a stake came from under his sleeve and stopped inches away from the blonde’s face. Everyone in the room gasped, including Buffy who suddenly felt faint. “Do you think you’d survive one minute against them?” Buffy bit her lip and shook her head, recognising the truth in his words. Angel calmed down when he saw her acceptance, lowering the hand with the stake at his side. One hand against her shoulder pushed her away from his path as he went past her. “Of course you wouldn’t,” he said tiredly at the door, “that’s why we’re playing babysitter and you will play baby even if I have to chain you to your bed again!”

Buffy bristled at his last words. She had accepted his arguments, hadn’t she? Why should he still treat her so angrily? “Oh fine, play your dark hero routine, why don’t you?” Her hands met her hips angrily and her chin raised defiantly. Cordelia was glad Angel’s back was to her this time. If she was seeing ‘their’ Buffy in that pose, she could only guess what it’d do to Angel. Meanwhile he didn’t even stop on his way out.

“Ugh!” Buffy huffed. “Why must you be so - so - annoying and...” She searched desperately for the right word. Suddenly it came to her. “Why must you be so cryptic, Angel?” Her voice had raised with her last words. That made him froze in his tracks. “Dangers wait for you in the shadows. Your enemies are close... God! I should just go and call you Cryptic Guy from now on!” Buffy noticed as his body tensed. So she finally obtained a reaction from him!

It was only a short-lived glee, though. He quickly composed and continued his way. Cordelia just stared sympathetically after him while Gunn fleetingly wondered why he still clutched the stake in his hand, not bothering to hide it back under his clothes.

TBC...

Feedback. Please.

FanFiction      Fanart    Recommendations    Quotes

Unless otherwise stated, all stories are to be considered PG.

questions and comments