05.17.2003
Damn, my tag-board's messy. Messy, in the sense that it has been invaded by someone who can't resist commenting on my life. And my friend Tara's, for that matter. First of all, you don't even know us so please shut your mouth. And even if we do know you, I bet you'd be too scared to face us in person and tell it to our faces that we're idle simply because it's not true and you'd just be embarrassed. What are you trying to prove, anyway? That you're better than us? And you're trying to make us feel bad? Please. You sound like such a pathetic, no-life loser that I don't know whether to pity you or to laugh at you.
As for the others who simply visit my site and accept the way it is and the way I am, thank you.
Anyway, to change the topic, I might as well backtrack...let's see...I finally got to talk to my family. I greeted my mom on her birthday (May 14) and on Mother's Day. I greeted Tracy as well (May 12). Speaking of which, she'll be moving in with our lola and pretty soon I'll be moving there, too. Me and my lil sis back in our old house. Other than that, when I get back, I'll finally be in school. I'm gonna be studying in UST. Not the best school but it's definitely in my top 3. :) I won't even let it bother me that I'm behind by one year. I really do want to go back to school because I feel as though hanging out with the adorable kids I babysit is turning me into a kid again. But I have to admit, it wasn't so bad. I've been taking the GED test anyway so it wasn't a total brain loss. By the way, I finished the Language & Reading test last week and the Science & Social Studies last month. I'm down to one. Yay! But it's Math. My worst subject. Oh well, I studied and I do promise to do my best. If things don't work out then it's just as well cause I don't need the GED certificate anymore. I don't think they'll accept something like that in any filipino university. But I still hope I pass simply because it would me help me feel better about myself.
I remember the last time my dad and I talked (not on the phone, but in person). He told me not to get stuck in College Station too long because he said that it wasn't a good place for a city girl like me. In truth, I adjust to new environments pretty well but it's not just the town that bothers me. It's my relatives. Oh well, enough of that. Well, back to my dad, he also told me to save the money that he will give to me but that I should also spend it for vacation. Well, the truth is, I gave half of it to my mom who really needed it, which he doesn't know yet. Whoops. But with the half left, I decided to do what he told me to. I looked for the cheapest multi-destination ticket I could find and a few days ago, I finally nailed it. Yup, I'm going on a trip. Not just for my own personal satisfaction but also to visit some relatives and Pearl. I hope everything goes well...
Perhaps this extended after-highschool break is God's will. Well, isn't everything? :) He probably has something in store for me in the future, like maybe a job that will turn me into a career-obsessed workaholic. Haha. I really don't know. I shouldn't guess nor speculate. I'll just let it flow...
05.02.2003
Time flies faster each day. It's already May and in a month or so, I'll be back home. No more of this flippy lifestyle. (But if I do decide to study here, I'm sure as hell that I will meet people who are more fun and interesting than some I could mention...)
You know what's fucked up? Jay's friend Stef, who I'm not really close to at all, invited me to go with them to Houston. But my own cousins, you know, the ones I live with right now, don't even bring me to places at all. My brother asked them why they always ditch me and they said they had no reason, really. Actually, she said something like they were all girls so my bro was like, "Isn't Kim a girl?" No reaction. Is it cause they I'm too young? (Being 21 is such a big deal here) Or perhaps that I smoke too much? Man...that's just stupid. Oh well, the babysitting is more important to me right now cause I need the money. But I did go out last night to keep from flipping out.
So I did agree to go to Houston with Jay and Stef. The weather was nasty at first but it pretty much cleared up. I was thinking of so many things that I didn't really try to have fun. All I wanted was to just to get out of the house. I'm sick of my cousins.
We got there at around 2am and hung out at Rehab again. Most of the schools had their finals so not a lot of people were there. It was a dead party. It's just as well cause I'm not much of a dancer so walking around like a wallflower didn't seem so bad. Even Stef was walking around cause she was bored out of her mind, too.
Okay, so last time it was Hispanic boys, right? Now it's black dudes. I wonder why white boys never approach me...hmm...like I care. Haha. I'm just playin...
Rehab closed earlier this last time so we left Houston at around 5, I think. Jay drank a little too much. He was drunk and was like all barfy and all. I felt sorry for him.
I don't know how else to end this entry except for this one thought in my mind (which really doesn't have anything to do with the stuff I just wrote). Here in the United States, people expect you to be independent already once you're 18 but you still can't drink liquor for another 3 years. Bummer. In the Philippines, you can live with your parents as long as you're not married yet but you can never be too young to drink liquor. That is one of the things I miss.
Oh yeah, um...anyone who's reading this should keep in mind that I'm not trying to sound intelligent in any way. I'm just simply sharing my thoughts... :)
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