So I return again rebuked to my content, and gain by ills thrice more than I have spent.
Shakespeare
Sitting at her desk, Liz handed Alex her punishment: "One month's suspension without pay. And that's a gift, so you can save the arguments."
"I have no argument." Alex stoically said.
Alex was standing in front of her boss, Liz Donnelly, the bureau chief for SVU. Alex had allowed two of her SVU detectives to illegally search an apartment, and now she was facing the consequences.
"Linda Cavanaugh has decided not to file a civil suit against you, me, the police department, and the city for your illegal search." Liz barely looked at Alex as she signed papers on her desk. "So, may I offer you a big congratulations on successfully setting civil liberties back two hundred years."
Liz rose from her desk and began to pack her attach� case.
"It was her choice," Alex began.
Liz looked up at Alex. "Oh, she had a choice?" She temporarily stopped what she was doing.
"Deciding her right to privacy wasn't as important as putting her son's molester in prison." Alex tried to defend her actions.
"No, Alex," Liz said softly, "You decided that for her."
Liz leaned back and looked at Alex. "And you think that's just fine. You think that makes you passionate, and righteous, the ends justify the means because you got away with it."
"I take full responsibility for my actions," Alex admitted.
"Of course, you did it for the greater good, the safety of society," Liz sarcastically remarked. "Bull." She shot at Alex. "You did this for you."
"I did this for hundreds of Barnett's future victims." Alex had to make Liz understand.
"One. One victim. Sam Cavanaugh." Liz's eyes were piercing Alex. "Did it work? Did it assuage your guilt?"
"No," Alex said sadly. "I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon."
Liz nodded and reached for her bag. "I've got news for you," she said walking toward Alex. "It won't happen. Liz shook her head. "Ever."
With that, Liz exited her office, leaving a stunned ADA behind.
Liz sat at her desk thinking. It had been barely a week since Alex's suspension, but her absence was already being felt. It wasn't the caseload so much. Liz had assigned a temporary ADA to fill in for Alex so most of her work was being handled.
Liz chewed on her pencil, a habit she detested. She finally allowed herself to admit that the absence she felt was more on an emotional level. Liz actually missed Alexandra's fierce drive, her spark, her determination. Hell, Liz mostly missed the way they argued, no, pushed each other professionally. Liz smiled at the thought of her many discussions with the young ADA. Most had become a battle of wills. Liz would take Alex in a certain direction then Alex would question that direction. Normally, such blatant lack of authority would anger the older woman; however, with Alex, Liz knew it was different. Liz knew that Alexandra was simply reaching for more. Always reaching for more, and Liz admired that.
Liz wondered what Alex was doing on her month off. She was fairly confident that the young ADA was already going crazy with all the time on her hands. Alex was the job, and now that it was gone for a month, Liz was sure that Alex was lost.
Liz smiled again. She rose from her desk and walked to her file cabinet and opened it. She brushed over the many files with her fingers. Her fingers made their way to the back of the cabinet to some files labeled, "Depositions." These were cases that had been put aside for one reason or another. Usually, lack of evidence. Liz pulled the files out of the cabinet and scanned over them.
"Not much here," she thought to herself, "But this should keep Alexandra busy for a few weeks."
Liz returned to her desk and slipped the files into her attach�. Perhaps she would drop in on Alex tonight and give her the files. Liz shook her head. "Indeed I will," she mumbled under her breath.
Alex put the remote control down in disgust. She was into her fourth day of suspension and she had already run out of things to do. She had watched all there was to see on TV, she had cleaned her apartment twice, and she had been to the gym so much that she swore she'd lost ten pounds already!
Alex let out a frustrated sigh. "What the hell am I going to do with myself until I go back to work?" she wondered aloud.
Just then, Alex heard a knock at her door. She wondered who could be at her door at eight o'clock at night. She certainly wasn't expecting anyone. Alex rose from the sofa and made her way to the door. She let out a surprised gasp as she looked through the peephole and saw Liz Donnelly standing on the other side of the door. Alex paused for a moment, then opened the door.
"Liz," Alex said with surprise. "What brings you here?"
"Hello, Alexandra." Liz greeted her. "I thought I'd come by to see how you are doing."
"You actually care?" Alex blurted out before she could catch the words.
Liz laughed. "Look, Alex," Liz began, "If you're angry that's fine, but don't direct that anger toward me." Liz directed. "You could've gotten a more serious punishment, you know that."
Alex turned her head to the side. "I know, Liz. I'm really not angry with you. I'm just going crazy in this apartment."
Alex suddenly realized that they were having this conversation in her doorway. Alex was embarrassed. "Liz, I'm sorry." She motioned for Liz to enter. "Please come in."
Liz hesitated a second, then accepted Alex's offer to go inside.
Liz stepped in to the apartment. She looked around. She wasn't surprised at all. It was just as she had thought it would be (yes, she had thought about Alex's apartment). Liz noticed that the place was immaculately clean. "Been cleaning the place?" Liz smirked.
Alex smiled, a radiant smile. "Yeah, two times already." She sank onto the sofa and offered Liz the chair beside her. "Can I get you something to drink?" Alex offered.
"No, thanks." Liz refused.
There was a short awkward pause before Liz spoke. "Alexandra, I guessed that you might need something to keep your mind sharp." Liz gave Alex a smug grin and reached into her attach�. She pulled out the files from her office and placed them on the coffee table.
A puzzled, but excited look crossed the young ADA's face. "What's this?" Alex questioned.
"These are a few of our `on hold' case files." Liz explained.
Alex didn't speak. She allowed Liz to continue her explanation.
"I thought you might like something to do on your time off. And most importantly," Liz added quickly, "I don't want you to fall behind. Look over these depositions and make notes or suggestions on how counsel should proceed."
Liz locked eyes with Alex. "No one knows SVU like you do, Alex, so I would appreciate your helping the subs. This is, of course, unofficial." Liz winked at Alex.
Alex felt a shiver throughout her body. Did Liz just wink at her? WTF?
Alex pushed her emerging thoughts to the back of her mind. But, she couldn't take her eyes off of the older woman. Alex was definitely grateful for the work, no matter how small. But her feelings went beyond gratitude. For a moment, Alex actually thought that Liz was sexy. Alex blushed at the thought.
"Well, that's all." Liz said matter-of-factly. She rose from the chair and walked to the door. Alex jumped up and ran to open the door for her boss. They both reached for the knob at the same time. Their hands met and both women jerked back as if they had been burned.
"Sorry," Alex apologized weakly.
Liz just nodded and gave Alex that smile. That fucking grin. Alex looked away quickly.
Liz opened the door to leave, then looked back at Alex. "I'll call in a few days Alexandra. About the work."
"Thanks, Liz," Alex said. "We'll talk soon."
Alex closed the door behind Liz and let out the deep breath that she had been holding in.
Alex smiled.
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