Latin is very much alive, even if it isn't exactly kicking. Though Latin does have a bit of a bad reputation -- too often it was taught by the stodgy or the cranky who sucked all the joy out of it. And invariably it is associated with the Roman Catholic Church; although that esteemed body is largely responsible for preserving the language, its members also appropriated it for their own uses.

Now, in the twenty-first century, it's time to reclaim the loveliness that is Latin, and with that in mind, I offer the following phrases. This isn't the Latin you learned in school.

Nescio quid dicas	I don't know what you're talking about
Nemo hic adest illius nominis	There is no one here by that name
Ita erat quando hic adveni.	It was like that when I got here
Raptus regaliter	Royally Screwed
Ut si!	As if!
Noli me vocate. Ego te vocabo.	Don't call me. I'll call you.
Die dulci freure	Have a nice day
Vah! Denuone latine loquebar? Me ineptum. Interdum modo elabitur.	Oh! Was I speaking Latin again? Silly me. Sometimes it just sort of slips out.
Perscriptio in manibus tabellariorum est	The check is in the mail
Nonne macescis?	Have you lost weight?
Minime senuisti!	You haven't aged a bit!
Id tibi praebet speciem lepidissimam!	It looks great on you!
Braccae tuae aperiuntur	Your fly is open
Subucula tua apparet	Your slip is showing
In dentibus anticis frustum magnum spiniciae habes	You have a big piece of spinach in your front teeth

Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione	I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.	I have a catapult. Give me all of your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.
Utinam barbari spatioum proprium tuum invadant	May barbarians invade your personal space
Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.	I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.
Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant	May conspirators assasinate you in the hall
Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?	How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Unitam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant	May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy
Senito aliquos togatos contra me conspirare	I think some people in togas are plotting against me
Nihili est - in vita priore ego imperator romanus fui	That's nothing; in a previous life I was a Roman Emperor
Capillamentum? Haudquaquam conieci esse!	A wig? I never would have guessed!
Fac ut gaudeam	Make my day
Si fallatis officium, quaestor infitias eat se quicquam scire de factis vestris	If you fail, the secretary will disavow all knowledge of your activities
Conlige suspectos semper habitos	Round up the usual suspects
Me transmitte sursum, caledoni	Beam me up, Scotty
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos Nuc	We gladly feast on those who would subdue us

Have suggestions for additions? E-mail me.