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| Kanobi--Server, Jedi and Porn Star |
| Welcome. I'm Kanobi Shanobi BonJovi, I'll be your porn star for the evening...may I take your order? What? You want to know more about me?! Well, my lovely ladies, I will tell you all that you wish to know about me. |
| I was immaculately conceived in the corn fields of Iowa--just like Captain Kirk. At a very young age I began to pop up in several adult films under the name BonJovi Shanobi Kanboi--lest my parents find out about my secret life of porn. My reputation spread and I was seeing women all over the country. Blondes, brunettes, redheads...all of them loved my and my light sabre. |
| So how did I--a porn star--come into the Pool Hall? Well it was through Vladimir actually. I was visiting my darling girlfriend in Chicago, Buffy, and as I walked up to her apartment there was a large man leaving. He looked at me and with a thick Russian accent said, "Cable repair. Comedy Central out of order." I walked in the house thinking nothing of it. But to my dismay, Buffy stood wearing a Chicago Blackhawks jersey, and only the jersey. She began to stammer out apologies. I stormed outside with a proverbial stake through my heart and found the hockey player walking back in. "Das vedanya, asshole" I said. He stopped me and we went out for drinks. We found out that we shared 6 girlfriends in 7 states! (you do the math) |
| Not too long after, I was drinking with him in his Pool Hall that he's the bouncer in. It was a Saturday Night and Vladimir and I had just gotten done sparring--I with my sabre and he with his stick. Both of us were pretty banged up. Keoki saw us and asked what we'd been doing. We showed him. And thus began the Saturday Night Sabre Fight. |
| Keoki asked if I'd like to join the Krew. I accepted and began waiting tables. It was a great way to pick up women! And on Saturday Nights I am one of the reigning champions for the Sabre Fights. Bring it on if you wanna go. |
| Sith Lords have been slain by this Jedi! |
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| Back to the Krew. |
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| The Ex in question and my teacher Yoda with a pupil. |
| FIRED!!!!! |