| Kalikikopa--Bartender and Bullshit Master |
| Hey Hey Hey! I'm Kalikikopa...sheesh, what do I write here anyway? Well, I could start off by telling you my full name I guess. I'm Kalikikopa Mikaelei DiKamahimahi. I was born on Ka'anapali Beach Maui on January 22, 1976. Keoki is my cousin, but we're pretty much like brothers. Yes, I am the former bassist of the Freaky Tiki. I'm actually a drummer at heart but we needed a bass player. So that was me. Like Keoki's already said, we were pretty good...got some airtime and went gigging around the islands and stuff but never anything major. And yes it WAS my fault that we broke up. |
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| Ya see, I'm a master of bullshit. I'm good at it. Keoki has said it's amazing the way I can bullshit anyone. Mainly I've bullshited my way out of relationships or trouble. Keoki compared my skill of being an artful dodger to a car crash. "I'm repulsed yet I cannot look away." Well, this very gift put me on a quest to see what I could do with my life. Could one actually bullshit their way through existance? Well, I set out on my pilgrimage to--of all places--Iowa. I left my Maui home for that. Yes, you may now call me a jackass. But I did return. Oh yes I did return. |
| When I came back, my cousin had created quite a name for himself with this pool hall. I wandered in to give the bastard hell to find that they were very short handed and he asked if I'd help out behind the bar. How could I say no? So, all night this goddess kept coming to the bar, you know her as Kemi. I actually blushed when she'd come to me with orders. Keoki noticed I was attracted to her and when I began asking about her he proceeded to give me "the talk". You know the one. "if you bullshit her or hurt her I'll..." Yeah, he and Vladimir demonstrated a few things that would happen to me if I screwed Kemi over at any time. I vowed that I would never bullshit this girl. |
| So as the bar was about to close I walked to the juke box and played "Closing Time" for all the lingering drunks. Then she came up to the bar. "Keoki," she said, "give me the goodies or lose me forever." Keoki then told her that he was too busy to make her nightly margarita but that I would be happy to. And I did. We stayed up for hours drinking and talking. She was so trashed that I felt obliged to walk her home. I didn't leave either. I didn't leave for a long time actually. I fell in love with her immediately. The truth is that even though alot's happened since then..., I still do love her. |
| I had to leave again. One night Santino told me that there was a hit out on me...my bullshit had caught up with me. Tearfully Kemi and I said our goodbyes and I left. I still get back to the bar whenever I can. And when I do, I tend bar and Kemi waitresses. We'll drink till the sun comes up. But by the time Kemi wakes up, I'm usually gone. Someday I hope to return to the bar, to my Maui home, and to Kemi. And hopefully I won't have to leave. |
| wanderers like myself have found their way here. |
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| Places to Roam to: |
| Tama--my drumset is here. |
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| Hotwops.com--Naked pics of Kemi! |
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