3 January 2004
2:07 PM

I'm back again�almost a month later�yeah, I suck. I know.

I found out why that guy broke up with me. He thought he was gonna cheat on me.

Yes that's right: he broke up with me�because he thought he might cheat on me, if he had the chance. He didn't cheat on me, or even have an opportunity to. But he thought that if he did, then he would take it. So he broke up with me.

Yeah, and I was like, "What the hell?" when I found that one out. But it's all good, now. Because he decided that was a stupid reason to break up with me. And he blew off some other girl because he "never really let go" of our relationship.

You know, even though it was only a week and a half long.

But by then I had already told some other guy that I would go out with him. You know, like, on a date, or something. Not really a "boyfriend/girlfriend" type of thing.

And that other guy, the one that broke up with me, had remained a friend of mine and was actually at my house hanging out in my basement one day when I got a text message from the other guy I said I would date. And I got all distressed and asked the one that broke up with me if he thought six years was too big an age difference for me. He said he was, and got mad at me for considering dating another guy. But he didn't tell me that was why he was mad. I thought he was mad because of the age difference. But no, that wasn't it. It was pure jealousy.

Anyway, so then we went for a walk, talked about life in a very depressing way, bought some Mountain Dew and sat at a field for a while. I got all upset and emotional and blah�he tried to comfort or console me, but you know, the whole "let your ex-boyfriend help you with all your problems" thing wasn't working for me. So after I was done with my depressed phase, we went to his house and sat on the ground in his room listening to anime music for like 3 hours. At that point he finally told me why he was mad at me�because he wanted me back�

Hah hah hah hah. If I was smarter, I would have been like, "Fuck you, man. You emotionally killed me for three days, at least. My whole family hates you. My friends are pissed at you. Why would I let this happen again!?"

Unfortunately, I'm not smarter, and the said events that took place that night actually led to us getting back together, and me having to tell the poor other guy that I got back together with my ex-boyfriend, so I couldn't date him anymore. Before we'd even gone out once. How depressing is that?

But yeah. Life has changed. A lot. I don't know if I necessarily like it�but�eh. I like my boyfriend better this time around than last time. lol. I have less friends than before. But the friends I have now are also my best friends in the world. Heh, and New Year's�that was so great. I spent it with Laura, Sarah, Dana, AJ, and Brad. It was so great. We decided we're having another party for the new month. (You know�January 31 will be New February Eve�haha.)

I don't feel like writing anymore. ^^; Sorry. But at least I gave you something�