Page Three of 2000... Who knew one person could ever feel so much?  At this point I just love writing poems because it is such a good release for me and I love re-reading them and saying, "Yeah I wrote that."  I love it when one of my own poems gives me goose-bumbs, it's the coolest feeling.
9-17
There's a woman who is so beautiful inside.  This woman peope see, she holds herself with pride.  Everything in her world is wonderful at a glance.  But everything underneath is torn apart, no second chance.  You see, she smiles to the crowd, reassures them they're okay, but her heart is silently wishing someone will care for her someday.  If only one person would forever hold her tight, then maybe her inner beauty would be seen in every light.
9-5
Watch me lovingly with
Your sweet and sparkling eyes
Tell me i'm beautiful
It's me you want by your side
Understand that opening up
Isn't easy for me to do
I have only one confident
In which I know she's true
Show me you're the one
Help me through the aching times
Tell me you're the one to
Reach my heart inside
Take me in your arms
Hear my silent words
Know how much I need you and
How without you I hurt
I know that someday, you'll
Realize you need me, too
Someday i'll feel beautiful,
Someday when i'm with you
10-12
Pull me into your arms
Wrap them around me tight
Make me feel secure and
Worryless throughout the night
Protect me from the darkness
Show me you care
Understand that to hurt inside
I can no longer bear
Stroke my hair softly
Wipe away my tears
Let me know I can trust you
When you're holding me near
Make me feel wanted
And beautiful inside
Help me to see that with you
I no longer have to hide.
9-15
I thought that maybe someday
Someone would love me true
I've hoped that maybe someday
That someone would be you
I've just counted on the fact
That mama said there's love for me, "He's just hiding himself now, he'll come out in time, you'll see."
So far I see nothing but
Cold and lonely nights ahead
So far my heart is empty
No sweet,
true words have been said
I feel as though I've searched and the world has let me down
Although so far the world
Is this selfish little town
I feel a warmth running down my face, tracing over
My lashes then cheek
My tears have started to form
The emptiness grows larger in me.
10-23
I need you here by my trembling side
To help stable my emotions, you're the reason I cry
So you've sailed away into your own hectic world
Nothing will ever be the same
You've forgotten your little girl
All I wanted was a father
All you wanted was a drink
All I need is to be held
All you need is time to think
Make up your mind
It's about time you grow up
I can't hurt over you anymore
My heart has lost all hope
But, I guess it's not so bad
I'll never want you back
Cause you've stolen my heart
And you'll never be a true dad.
12-24
I'm wanting you now,
needing you inside.
My heart won't rest until
I feel the calmness of your hands
upon my face.  Soft, gentle touch;
Feeling an embrace full of love that
lightens my heart as I fall
to my knees, begging you to stay.
I'm so frightened you'll leave me crying
at the trace of your footsteps, leading
to the door of emptiness.
Afraid you won't see me standing
before you, silently confessing my
love for you.  I fall to my knees, praying,
please stay.  Make me your own as I take
you in and care for you, feel for you,
make you my own.  If only you could
see the need in me that will only be
satisfied when you fill the hole in
my life, wipe the tears from my eyes, and love me--
always.  I'm begging you to stay; to make me
whole.
12-30
Look at her heart
How she hurts inside
Look at her lips
Unleashing silent cries
The curve of her face
Trembles with fear
Her eyebrows tensify
As she holds in tears
She cries to the moon
"Help me find my soul.
Where am I in this image?
Help me console."
She gets no reply
The world is a blur
She cries to herself
There is no one for her
This face she sees
Right here and now
Is shattered by
Herself somehow
She just wants to be loved
God, Just to be held
If only she could love herself
She wouldn't feel so alone
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