| 2002..... more of the same continues throughout my life. i cannot write what i am feeling. like it became illegal because i feel that the someone or thing i am writing about is lingering over my shoulder and can hear my thoughts even before they are written, so most the time i have these half written clips that i just cannot finish. i have all these confusing feelings and dont know where to go or what to do with them. i want to scream, cry, and smoke......really bad. |
| 3-4 I try to tell myself to just Stop looking for love Maybe then it will fall into my hands But I am so alone How can I not think about it When wonderment fills my mind? I've never experienced love Guess I'm not the lucky kind..... |
| 3-6 I'm feeling alone Kinda wanna cry Really want to let you go But dont want to say goodbye I want you to become The epitome of my life Before my strings come undone Only you can keep them tied There is one missing piece To my overly perfect life You are the only thing that Never fails to make me smile And yet my soul cries You're beyond my grasp Every night I die Then cover it with daily laughs |
| 3-21 The song in my soul Is lonely in it's tune It plays loud in my heart But will not open up to you If only you could hear it The gentle melody Notes dropping like tears Deep inside of me Lay your head quietly Upon my crying heart You'll hear the steady beat All it will do is start The song will never end Until you sing the harmony The steady bat won't stop Until you're here holding me You being anybody God, just give me someone to hold Please, please, please I'm so tired of being alone |
| 4-1 I've held out for you For so damn long I gave myself to you Beliveing I'd finally belong Safely in your heart I know I would never hurt you If only you'd give me that chance To prove I'd be good to you What is it about me? That is keeping you away Why can't you want me? Just ask and i'll stay But, sadly, I hold on To a heart that isn't mine And it's been way too long So now is the time For me to let you go To let my heart have one last cry Because you still don't fucking want me Sorry i'm not what you need goodbye.... The burden is lifting As I am letting you go And now I begin to see Why I've been feeling so all alone I'm lusting after someone And I was too blind to see The plain and simple fact He just doesnt want me. |
| 4-28 I am feeling so much inside but dint really know what to say I feel like the luckiest girl in the world as I finish off another normal day A day filled of laughing with my wonderful friends I seldom see tears anymore now it's random clouds that fill my head By the end of the day my heavy heart sets I dread crawling into that space: all alone in my bed And it IS SO PATHETIC how lonely I feel When love fills my life and I hide myself still Will never open up will never come undone Won't learn to appreciate my beautiful life until I finally, finally fall in love |
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| 5-8 Remember how I fell for you, that I hold you in my smile? Remeber when I was beautiful and you touched me for awhile? Remeber when I looked at you and my soul opened up? Remember your fingers tracing my face and your lips kissing me so soft? Remember how I never told you that you have my heart? Remember now, you want nothing to do with me and i am torn apart? Tell me you remember, please, tell me you do. Because I will never forget, how deeply I fell for you. |
| 6-15 I have become so cold From the neglect of affection I am so damn lost I need someone direction Someone to pull me safely into their arms..... |
| 2-17 I've said it so many times, I guess my luck won't ever change Because all I want is love, my life now is so plain I still invision those hands, I still love those eyes But i'm waiting for them to take form, so I can stop living this lie Of pretending to be happy, everyone says I don't need love But everyone else hasn't been alone for so damn long My lips, they smile, for the fear of letting on That I am not independent, yes, I, need someone to love And maybe they're right, someday i'll chance upon this dream But after years of building it up, nothing will ever be what I made it seem Nothing could ever be as perfect as the beautiful love inside my head Nothing will ever match up to the words that have never been said It is such an empty feeling, the warmth of lonely tears That will always control my life until the miracle of love appears |
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