1999....My search for love and friendship continues to grow inside me, frantically.
Understanding silence
Thoughts slipping away
All love rushing out
That you may have felt today
Silence turns to laughter
But all the smiles are fake
No one can know how easy your heart breaks
No one could possibly feel
The way you do right now
No one could understand the
Who, when, where and how
How did all this happen?
When and where did it start?
Who is to blame for your overly broken heart?
Piece it back together
And maybe slowly with time
You'll find the strength to hold on.
But, sadly, the pain,
It just keeps holdin on
And now your life seems
To be completely gone
Now giving up is all you can do
Because love won't ever
Find its way back to you
Every time I see your face, your smile brightens up my day
Along with every small embrace you show along the way
Your eyes glisten and my heart begins to beat
And when you take my hand, I can't believe you're holding me
Sometimes I wonder what's goin' on inside your head
My own thoughts begin to ponder
Are we gonna be together in the end?
Cradling you in my arms, my mind neglecting my heart
Drowning in all your incredible charm
Never wanting to pull apart
The butterflies in my stomach just won't seem to go away
The world just seems to stop when you turn and come my way.
Love hurts me
I hurt myself
Your smile hurts
I'll just laugh it off
Flying high, I always
Let myself crash
Into the seas of sadness
Guess that's what I deserve
Stage of independence, or
Maybe I'm just quiet
So I rely on no one and
Keep it all caged inside
An unshapley body
And if you ever see
Feel free to snicker
I've already tortured me
They say they'll always listen
I know they'll always exist
But I throw 'em to the side
'Cause i'll never, ever trust
You gave me pain not
knowing how much it'd hurt
You gave me a life
without knowing its worth
You made me concious
of my internal dispair
Tell me the reasons
why i've ended up here
I asked for only love and
to feel sweet ecstasy, but
you showed me their laughter
telling me it could never be
i've always wanted closeness
and the feeling of gentle touch
You made me understand
they're things I could only
want so much
I say to give me anyone, at
least someone who can care
You say to see me happy
is the last thing you can bare
I hate you because you're beautiful
I hate you because you're strong
I hate you because you're talented
and because you've always belonged
I hate you because you're loved
I hate evreything you do
I hate when you're out-going
and because i'm not like you
I hate when I think like this
I hate that i'm so jealous
I really love all that you are
I'm just so overly envious
God knows why he made you beautiful
You'll do so much for the world
He had every good intention of making you the most enchanting girl.
I feel so lonely
My heart won't stop crying
God, inside it feels
Like i'm dying
I can't listen to you
Can't look you in the eyes
Because i'm so afraid you're
Filling me with lies
I want to be lovable
I want you to let me in
I want you to look past my face
And wipe off that hurtful grin
I don't want to be alone
Or be left untouched
I want to hold you in my arms
And love you, oh, so much
Listen very carefully and you'll
Hear my heart calling your name
You'll see me reaching for you
With nothing to lose and so much to gain
My heart's already been broken, so that i'll never lose
but god it could heal so fast if I
Could fall in love with you
I would be so good to you, but,
That you'll never see because
I'm quiet and lonely and you'll
Never see the real me
My eyes are sore
It's so hard to see
I'm never gonna change
I'll always be me
You're gonna have to accept me
You'll have to look deep inside
Maybe you'll be the one to
Reach my secrets inside
I wish that I could tell you, but
My head keeps my heart shut
You'll have to break through my wall
And show me it's you I can trust
I've never been this sad
My whole body is crying out
It's shaking with lonesome fear
You can't possibly know what I'm about
So innocent to the world, I've
Never felt that touch
Never been truly loved
Never loved someone so much
I need to be held
I want you to want me, but
It's so hard for me to tell
My face is tired and heavy
Someone, please, set me free
I know you're not worth the pain
But i'll never tell that to me
I feel so lonely
My dispair's crying out
Can't you hear my calls, Frantically searching for
Someone like you to show me
Your unconditional love
I need love
I need trust
I need to be held close
I want to feel safe
All I need is you
watching over and
Loving me sweetly
Being so gentle with my heart
Cause it's fragile and
Can easily break
You hold my heart
If only you knew
Don't drop my heart
It only needs you
