By now I know that my life needs to change. I know that I cannot keep living with this sadness and useless pain. I still had my bad days, but they were fewer than the past. I am making new friends in school and wearing clothes with color and have started the year with a new look...red hair. my first day back to school I received complements. It's such a wonderful feeling...having people smile at you and treat you as if maybe, just maybe, you are a normal person.
Sometimes I wonder
where I am going...
A new year is here but
no changes are showing.
I want to be different,
someone new.
I'm sick of my old life,
I want all new.
"Together Forever"
a facinating phrase
Don't take it to heart
It could only mean today
Breaking hearts
Pieced by two
building together
Making it new.
Touched by angels
in my life
Showing me how to
Take my strife
Cry my tears
Shred my dreams
let me show you
How it seems
Unclear thoughts
Moody days
Tell me the path
Show me the way
I want people to
understand me
I can't tell them
they'll just have to see
I'm not built to
laugh, joke and play
I'm built to watch my life
go by every dreadful day
I can't breath
eat or sleep
my conscious is
now at its peak
I'm gonna overflow
you're gonna see the pain
coming from no where
and how i'm trained
To sit back and watch
you enjoy living
you and all the others
i'll never be forgiving
Don't tell me you're sorry
that you've always cared
I can see right through you
and you never, ever cared
I want to take you in
and hold you tight
chase away your fears
with all my known might
I want to watch over you
protect you from the pain
put your load on my shoulders
there's always more to gain
I want to cover your ears
when the mean words are said
let them affect me
let it go through my head
Let me put you back together
on the days you fall apart
matching every single
piece of your
overly broken heart
Lean on my shoulder
I won't laugh if you cry
let me tear down your walls and open
up your eyes.
I have an enemy in me
Striving to get out
innocent people
it knows everything about
Scratching, stabbing,
clawing my insides
somebody tell me
how to make it die
If you see me coming
get out of my way
if the enemy doesn't like you
it's not scared to put you away
It'll grabe you by the neck
strangle you almost to death
then leave you there to weap
choking for your last breath
Laughing at the tears streaming down your face
then jump back in me
with no hidden trace
You'll come after me
but, please, understand
I wasn't the one who hurt you
it was the enemy inside my killing hands
I'm so sick of being
who I am
I want to get out of my skin
and just be my friend
To tell myself it's ok
there's no need to cry
to give myself courage
there's no need to hide
I'd be the beautiful
absolute best and
have meyself as a friend
just as a test
To see if I could understand
the pain dealt to her this hand
To see if I could turn me up-side-down
no need to worry about others now
I want to be a friend to myself
to calm down my sadness
put my paint brush to the side
give my heart a rest
I want to love myself
just as a friend is supposed to do
but I can't even look at myself
without wondering who I could be besides myself
The rain falling like so many unknown tears
dropping to the ground to forget
their fears.
The way it felt to keep falling, falling and falling
no one to catch them except satan's calling.
Raining like the tears strolling down your face
god never knew the devil could
take his place.
So high and mighty
that's what you thought in your head
'no one's better than me,
i'm so far ahead.'
Funny you never knew how
far behind you are
now no one's here for you
now you're scarred
he's caught you in his trap
there is no way out
the tears and rain are going up
all over the pain to worry about.
10-27
Maybe you could see me
as you've never seen me before
Maybe you could wonder
what other good is she for
Maybe we could talk from
dusk until dawn
Maybe you could hold me
never let it seem wrong
Maybe you could whisper
sweet and gentle words
Maybe in a sound of your voice
I haven't yet heard
Maybe you could love me
tell me it'll be okay
Maybe you won't hurt me
in the end and run away
Maybe you could trust me
I'll never do you wrong
Maybe you could believe in me
my love for you is so strong
See, first you'll have to see me
as you've never seen me before
then you'll have to notice,
to me,
there is so much more.
I want my dad
to be a part of my life
I want him to show he cares
I want him to be my angel
If only he could be there
when I needed to cry
if only he would want me
to always be by his side
Daddy, let me lean on you
daddy, hold me tight
daddy, tell me it'll be ok
daddy, with all your might
Chase the monsters from
under my bed
turn on the light
hold out your hand
Bring me to your castle
a place with no bad dreams
daddy, stay in my life
let your love shine on me
