�
Dear everyone,
I'm getting teased that there's been no mass update from me since Aug 10, so here goes...
Travis has still been tolerating things so well. His spirits are high and we talk a lot now about "what should we bring to the hospital in Milwaukee" and helping him understand that we will be there for a long time. Both Travis and Spencer are so excited because they both got new slippers for the great occasion! (Simple pleasures...) We've tried to help Travis understand that this will be a long, sometimes difficult process to get better, but of course we haven't shared details that may scare him unnecessarily. We don't want him having lots of anxiety in advance, and are hoping that he'll have minimal side effects from what's to come, just like it's been so far, and that we'll deal with things as they come. It's probably much harder on Joe and me (and our families), knowing what lies ahead. We're honest with him -- just not detailed in our conversations.
More Travis happiness: He greets everyone now with, "Hi! Did you know I have a match?". He is so innocent and sweet. Recently I was on an overnight business trip and Travis had Joe fax me the following story he'd written on the computer:
Travis
I was Riding An airplane to Malwakee
to get my match ov blood.
after I got mi match
I felt much beder.
My heart melted! In fact I had to fold it up right away, so I didn't totally come apart. (That was the next day.) On this same business trip, we were working with a leadership team who is needing to create a significant change in their organization. At one point in the session, our facilitator had the group close their eyes and picture themselves "one year from today at a celebration for your company" -- and he mentioned August 17, 1999. My eyes flew wide open as I was reminded that the transplant was exactly one month away (not that I ever really forget). Then of course, instead of picturing my client's company in one year, I continued the exercise thinking about Travis and our family. Let me tell you, this was a real toughie. Thank God everyone had their eyes closed, as I was streaming tears. I didn't want the group to be aware of what was going on with me, or be disrupted by my leaving, and I also wanted to continue the exercise. I pictured the one-year celebration with our family together, heaving big sighs of relief that we'd passed yet another important milestone. It wasn't a big raucus shindig, as one year isn't the end of our journey, and that reality hit me hard as I was picturing this. So , instead, I completely took the exercise into my own brain (always the rebel!) and decided to picture the celebration at Travis' Bar Mitzvah, 7 years from now. Joe and I talk of this so much, like a beacon -- a day so far off, yet so real in our minds. Travis so loves being Jewish and has talked of his Bar Mitzvah since he began to speak (Once, when he was 3 years old, after services he said to me, "Mom, when I grow up I want to be a Rabbi or a babysitter." Well, I won't go into this here... but I did howl at the comment.) Anyway, it was very vivid in my mind, with people from all over at this important day, all sharing in the success of Travis, cured of cancer, and their having helped him live to reach this meaningful life cycle event. I kept picturing Travis and Spencer together on the pulpit. So happy and so comfortable together...
That's about as far as I got, because I was also concentrating on not crying or sniffling too loud, and then the facilitator had the group come together for the next steps. I was a complete puddle -- and quickly left the room (only my close buddy and colleague knew what was happening, and she quickly helped put "Humpty Dumpty (me) back together again". It was a both a jarring and beautiful experience. Joe and I believe strongly in visualizing success. This one really got to me.
Other pre-transplant news... Joe and I always say it takes a special event for us to clean our house. But we never imagined that a transplant would be the latest catalyst. We've begun sorting through the endless paperwork, toys and clutter that has accumulated, as after we return home, Travis will be so vulnerable and we have to be dust and germ free as much as possible. At this point we just need to navigate around the junk first, to then we'll have the place thoroughly and deeply cleaned. I'm taking tips from other parents whose children have had bone marrow transplants. Anyway, maybe it's therapeutic for us to go though at this point. But tiring...
So that's the latest. Travis goes for "counts" tomorrow (blood tests). Hoping for good numbers so no transfusion will be necessary. But if so, that's ok, we'll deal with it. As long as he's feeling this good, we're in great shape.
More soon, as things are happening fast at this point... Feel free to send us email notes -- they're a huge boost! Thanks for being there.
Love from us,
Melanie, Joe, Travis and Spencer