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Dear everyone,
Here's the latest update on life at the Yon / Goldish household. Last week, Travis' clinic checkup was pretty positive, except for low Hemoglobin (7.8). But his body is "reticking" (reticulating?), making it's own red blood cells now, so they don't want to transfuse him and allow his body to rely on that, instead of its own manufacturing capabilities. So no transfusion unless he's feeling crummy.
This past weekend, we were prepared to take Travis for a transfusion on a moment's notice. Instead, the little stinker surprised us with a burst of mental and physical energy! At one point, the boys surprised us with exercises in the middle of the living room. There was Travis, on the floor next to his aerobics instructor, Spencer, doing leg lifts, push ups (pathetic and wonderful), sit-ups and strangely inventive other moves. That was followed by "tag", and a family walk around the nearby lake (snow boots and all). Of course, this all was BEFORE we knew he might be getting pneumonia! But it was great to have such high energy and major giggles in the house.
Joe and I are still on the road to "recovery". I'm slower than Joe, though given my demonstrative nature, he then has to "recover" from my moods! It's been so very strange to have had these heavy feelings since coming home. We truly thought life would charge ahead with relief after the Milwaukee phase. Not so. Somehow, after the intensity and high nerve drama of the hospital stay ended, now we're in this no-man's land that is, in many ways, more difficult to negotiate our way through. Some days are better than others, though, so that's progress, I guess.
Tomorrow, Travis starts home schooling, provided by our home school district. Should be a great addition to his schedule, as he truly loves school and tries not to get sad as Spencer heads off to class each day. We're hopeful that this will go well until he can eventually join his Kindergarten class -- maybe in the spring.
Today I finally decided to tell Travis (and later this evening, Joe and I told Spencer, too) about our sweet friend John. My timing was probably not so great, but while we were at the clinic I'd been talking with some old HOT Unit neighbors about how tragic John's death has been. I then realized that Travis will at some point overhear, or guess, and I didn't want him to learn about John's death that way. So I held Travis in my lap, and told him the sad news. He had lots of questions. At one point, my heart wrenched as he said "I didn't know a person could die from Leukemia." Oh God, that was a toughie. He's never asked, and we never offered that possibility (but were prepared to address it if he ever asked about death), though we thought he maybe suspected it. I told him that the treatment he was getting, including the BMT was to cure him of the Leukemia, and that John, unfortunately had several DIFFERENT diseases to fight all at the same time. And that his body couldn't fight it all anymore. I felt terrible -- for John and his family, and then for telling my 6 year old son about the death of a child and a friend. I think we talked enough so that he's not scared for himself. But he is definitely sad. We just held each other and cried. He later suggested that each time we think of John, we should put money in the Tzedakah (charity) box. What a sweetheart. We'll make sure to address any questions he continues to have, and encourage him to talk about how he feels. When we later sat down with Spencer, it was clear that his 5-year old mind couldn't process the information. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He had some questions, and then later, we could hear the boys discussing John while they were holed up in the bathroom together. God, this is heartbreaking.
But, we move forward. Joe and I decided that we MUST get away and have some time together. So we're setting our sights on spring or summer -- a trip up the North Shore of Lake Superior while the boys get spoiled at my parents' place in Duluth. Can't think of anything more healing than that. Gives us all something great to look forward to. Then, Travis is busy dreaming up his wish trip to Israel for the Spring of 2000. We do have great hope for the future (if we can just get the present figured out!). Thank you, everyone, for continually sharing your love, prayers and support for us.
It continues to make a real difference.
Love,
Melanie, Joe, Travis and Spencer