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DEAR ABBY LOL
LETTERS DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER:
Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a
middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her
mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never
seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could
be Lebanese?
Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence
On My VCR?
Dear Abby,
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the
baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill
for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boy friend
should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to
discuss money with him.
Dear Abby,
I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when
confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would
never happen again.
Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was
raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I seen it. Now how do I get
out?
Dear Abby,
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour
every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank
until one night he came home sober.
Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through
mental pause.
Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to
send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and
he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
--These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Canadian.
1. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
2. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list
of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
3. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da
is that big country to your North. Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is
every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
4. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. ..... Contact us when you get
here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
5. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
6. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
7. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains
of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying
yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
8. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
BLONDE...:
1. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.
2. Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
3. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2 to 4 years.
4. Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
5. Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
6. When asked what the capital of California was, she answered C.
7. Hates M&M's because they are so hard to peel.
8. Changes the baby's diaper only once a month because the label said good up to 20 pounds.
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