HOUSE OF PAYNE INTERNATIONAL: Archive
"All Good Things, Part II"
(Continued)
SCENE FOUR
O�BRIEN [voiceover]: Personal log, Chief O�Brien, Stardate 1999362436. Our mission to provide humanitarian relief to the good people of Bligelious VII has been uneventful so far. Taking advantage of some free time, Q and I have been helping Chief Engineer LaForge film an episode of �Reading Rainbow� down on Engineering deck.[Scene opens on a �Reading Rainbow� set which has been set up on the Engineering deck. JEORDI stands in the middle in civilian clothes, with his visor removed. Chief O�BRIEN is running the camera, and Q is holding the cue cards.]
Q [a little femmy]: Okay, Levar, you�re looking beautiful. Big smile! Ready? Roll �em!
JEORDI: Hello, and welcome to Reading Rainbow! Have you ever had a really strange substitute teacher? Miss Nelson�s class sure did! In Miss Nelson is Missing you can read about the strangest substitute of all- Miss Viola Swamp. Let�s take a look.
Q: Okay, that was great, Levar! The kids are going to eat this up! Absolutely perfect! Okay, let�s try that one more time, but with just a little bit more energy! And a big smile! Roll �em!
JEORDI: Hello, and welcome to Reading Rainbow! Have you ever had a really strange substitute teacher? Miss Nelson�s class sure did! In Miss Nelson is Missing-
WESLEY [runs on to the set, ruining the shot]: Chief O�Brien! I need you on the bridge!
O�BRIEN: Wesley, not now!
Q: Boy! Get off my set! We�re trying to be creative here!
JEORDI [with attitude]: What the hell is this?
WESLEY: Listen, I�m really sorry, but nobody is on the bridge, and we�re right on the border of Ferengi space, and I just think that-
JEORDI: Well, you just better think again before you come bustin in to my set like that!
WESLEY: I�m sorry, but, we need to be on alert here or-
JEORDI [slaps WESLEY]: Shut up, Wesley! You know who you messin' with, white bread? Kunta Kinte, that's who! I got pants older than you!
Q: Okay, people, settle down. Let�s not get ugly, okay? Levar, babe, can I talk to you for a just a half a second?
JEORDI [as he is being led off camera by Q]: Yeah, but I�m telling you that I am not going to put up with this kind of...
O�BRIEN: Okay, now, what�s the problem, Wesley?
WESLEY: Well, there�s just nobody-
[O�BRIEN�s communicator goes off. O�BRIEN holds up his hand to cut WESLEY off.]
O�BRIEN: O�Brien here.
REDSHIRT #1 [through the communicator]: Transporter room here. Chief, somebody wants to come on board, and... uh... I don�t know how to work this thing.
O�BRIEN: Doesn�t anyone?
REDSHIRT #1: No, we�re all just extras. We�re not even getting paid. We�re just in this for the catered lunch.
O�BRIEN: Okay, I�ll take care of it. Tell whoever it is to wait just a minute, and then we�ll beam them right over, okay?
REDSHIRT #1: Okay.
O�BRIEN: O�Brien out. [to WESLEY] Listen, I need you to do me a favor. I've really got my hands full right now. You know how to work the transporter, right? Could you go over to the transporter room and beam over whoever the hell it is that wants to come on?
WESLEY: But what if it's an enemy boarding party?
O�BRIEN: Get serious! Look, they would have fired on us first, and you know the whole dumb ship tilts whenever that happens, so we know it hasn't. So just get over there and beam up, okay?
WESLEY: But, sir-
O�BRIEN [slaps WESLEY]: Shut up! Now get going! [WESLEY turns to leave] Oh, and one more thing. Keiko and I are going to be having dinner with some friends next Thursday night. Could you babysit for us? I talked with your mother and she said it was all right with her, but that she didn�t know your schedule. Would you be available?
WESLEY [mumbles]: Aye, aye, sir.
O�BRIEN: Thanks, lad. Really appreciate it.
[WESLEY exits. Q and JEORDI re-enter.]
Q [to O�BRIEN]: Are we ready to go?
O�BRIEN: I think we're set.
Q: Okay, Levar, ready for take six? Great! Now, smile for the kids, okay? Okay, beautiful, babe! Beautiful! Big smile, okay! Lots of energy! [to O�BRIEN] Roll 'em!
SCENE FIVE
[Scene opens in the arena, with Worf in the ring, in boxing trunks, punching out Sylvester Stallone to the tune of �Eye of the Tiger.�]SCENE SIX
[Scene opens in the transporter room, with two anonymous REDSHIRTS standing around like morons. WESLEY enters, grumbling]WESLEY [to REDSHIRT #2]: So, have they given us the coordinates already?
REDSHIRT #2: Uh...
WESLEY: Just get out of the way. [Gets behind the console and examines it.] Looks like everything�s about set. Okay, let�s beam them aboard.
[WESLEY energizes the transporter. Five armed FERENGI appear. WESLEY reaches back down to the console to beam them back, but the FERENGI train their weapons on him.]
FERENGI #1: Don�t move or we�ll put a smoking hole where your face used to be!
FERENGI #2: I am Commander Lepton and I claim this vessel in the name of the Ferengi!
[The FERENGI laugh maniacally. WESLEY is horrified. REDSHIRTS look vaguely nervous.]
COMMERCIAL BREAK
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