Title: Trouble on planet Viking

Author: [email protected]

Category: Adventure/Humor/SJ/JD

Spoilers: The First Commandment.

Sequel/Season info: set a short time after Red Sky Season 5.

Rating: PG

Content Warning: May cause permanent brain damage from high levels of silliness. There is yet another Charlie in the SG universe. And this one is not linked to my friend either. I just thought it would be funny ok?

Length: much bigness

Summary: Jack wants chocolate, Daniel discovers his grandmother was a newt and they are stuck on a planet full of Vikings and have no way of getting back.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are property of Stargate (II) productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment puposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. It may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. All other characters, the story idea and the story its self are the sole property of the Author. I take no responsibility for mental problems or brain malfunctions caused by this story. I hope you have insurance.


Chapter WAN :::Chocolate cravings:::

The sound of the quiet hum of the SGC gnawed at O�Neill�s brain. He turned over in his bed and attempted to blot out the irritating sound with his low priced army pillow.

The ONE night he had off to sleep he couldn�t because of that stupid humming. Jack tried to distract himself by thinking of prancing through a field of chocolate, with dicky fairy-type music playing in the background. He began to froth at the mouth. The thought of chocolate enchanted him. He slowly opened his eyes and wiped the drool that was dripping from his chin as he sat up.

�Must have chocolate!� he thought. And groaned like one of those monsters from the really cruddy old movies about mad scientists and their crazy monsters that go around killing things but in reality all they wanted was a cuddle from their creator.

Jack made his way to the commissary (cafeteria). Jack passed Teal�c on the way. Teal�c attempted to greet Jack but was met with a loud grunt. Teal�c followed Jack to the commissary.
Jack went straight to the buffet and searched desperately for something chocolate. He began to dig through the endless amounts of pastas and apples and boring healthy food.
�CHOCOLATE!� He yelled. The people in the commissary stopped what they were doing and all looked at Jack, stunned.

Teal�c tapped Jack on the shoulder �O�Neill, the cakes and biscuits are over there,� Teal�c pointed to the next buffet.

�Shut up,� Jack shoved Teal�c out of the way and started to load chocolate cake, chocolate muffins, biscuits and some assortments of horribly fatty French chocolate-pastry things onto his tray.
Jack waddled gleefully to a table and sat himself down. Teal�c sat opposite him. �O�Neill, you will become sick from all that chocolate,� he said.

�I dun care! Ith Chocolate,� He said with a mouthful of an assortment of chocolate foods.

Jack inspected one of the French chocolate pastries. He wondered how much fat the French could fit into something 4cm�.
He finally put it in his mouth. He had decided that the French have an amazing talent for putting large amounts of fat into small spaces. Jack swallowed the fatty pastry and screwed up his face in mild disgust. Jack got over the pastry and hit the chocolate again. Sam Carter walked in and sat down beside Teal�c. She gaped at Jack and his haul of chocolate.

�Wot?� He asked, bits of chocolate dropping from his mouth onto the plate.

�That�s a LOT of chocolate, sir! Aren�t you worried about getting fat?� she asked.

Jack suddenly realised that just eating one French chocolate pastry would probably make him look like John Goodman.
�I don�t care! It�s chocolate! I can�t WAIT until Easter!� He grinned, showing bits of chocolate stuck between his teeth.
Sam smirked. Teal�c remained expressionless as usual (not counting the times he gets really angry, smiles on the occasion and of course raises his eyebrow quizzically).
�Well any way, I am here to let you know that there is an emergency briefing in 10 minutes. Sir, I think you should brush your hair and get some proper clothes on�� Sam said smiling weakly.
Jack looked down and blushed. He had his pink and purple pyjamas with cows and little moons on it. And there was a cat on the back playing a ukulele and wearing a sombrero. �Uh! Yeh! Good idea Carter,�

�Well guys, I am needed else where! So see you in ten!� Sam dipped her finger into the tray of mashed up chocolate assortments. She licked her finger and winked at Jack, �Thanks,� Sam left the commissary.

Jack turned his nose up at the chocolate, as he had begun to feel ill. �Eww, I don�t want that any more it has been touched!� Jack groaned, as an excuse not to eat any more.
Jack stood up and left the table.
�See ya buddy,� He grinned. Once Jack left the room and was safely in the corridor, he ran frantically for the bathroom.

Chapter Two :::Daniel is Lost:::

Chapter Three :::Many Meetings:::

Chapter Four :::Later that Night:::

Chapter Five :::Tyrs Hand:::

Chapter Six :::The Final Thingy:::