| Friday January 25, 2002 I am fine today. I went to my therapist today and I am more comfortable discussing my gender identity. I sometimes think that should have been born female. I used to think that this thought was gross and disgusting to think that way but, that was before I knew that there are hundreds of people that have similar feelings. I feel that people do not have be alone, fellow transgendered people are able to communicate and discuss and not be ashamed. Saturday February 9, 2002 Hi again. I can not but think of wearing women's clothes. I just wish that I could dress in dresses more openly. I have not been able to dress because of the curent circustandances. I wsh I could live, my life as a woman. I am a woman, but I have a guy's body. I am hoping that that with change and my body will be feminine.It hurts me mentally that I am not able to wear dresses and skirts and every other pretty ladies clothes. Female clothes are so beautiful that I would love to wear that 24/7 365 but society frowns on that. I can not wait to be a beauty queen. I would love to partipate in a transgendered beauty pagent. I dream everyday of being a woman and living in society as a woman. I hate wearing guy clothes. I do not like when females where pants. Females should wear what they want to wear but a lady in a dress is much better than a lady in pants. With that I would like to wear dresses and skirts, but society tells that does fit for males. So while ladies wearing pants is common, men are no supost to wear dresses and skirts. I want to be a girl. Thursday, February 21, 2002 Hi, I have been feeling very lonely. I do not feel well. I have been wanting to go to some kind of support group, but I have not. I really want start living as a woman. I don't want to live as a guy. I am going to start going to a support group. I think that will be important. What I need is the support of someone, that is important as well. I do not have much support that I need. Tuesday, March 26, 2002 Hi, it's been a month since I wrote. I have have lots of suff that that happened in the month I have contacted a few gay/transgender groups in my area. I am hoping that I will go, so in the next update I might have some news. I also have not told my parents, but I hope that will change very soon. I feel very bad that my transsexual feelings are still not known to the two people that I love the most. Friday, April, 19, 2002 Yes it's me. The news is that I am planning on going to to my very first PFLAG meeting. I hope that will help me. I just wanted to write so that the very nice people would not worry about me. I will update after going to the meeting. Tuesday, April 23, 2002 Hi, do I have news for you. I went a PFLAG meeting. It was very infomative. I did say not much, maybe next time. Tuesday, May 21, 2002 Hi people, it's me Jess, I went to anougher PFLAG meeting and I finally told that I am transgendered. I feel much better, I really do not know how happy I am. It really was very interesting what happened. I finally am able to be "out" in the real world. It may only be to a few people,, seven other people at the meeting, plus my theript. But I have not told my parents or any other family members. I slowly want to tell my family, but I do not know how to do this. Thursday, August 1, 2002 Hi, yes I know it has been awhile since I last made an update. I feel that I can not be myself. I want maybe it should be I need to be girl. I have not been able to dress as a girl and I really, really want to be girl. I still do not what to do. Monday September 9, 2002 Hi, I have not writen in a while. I have been feeling very sad. I am planing on seeing a new counselor someone whoo specializes in transsexuality. I hope I will very soon. I can not continue to live as a boy. I need to see a specialist that way I can start my transition into womanhood. I hope that I will have a better news the next time I write. I took small baby steps, and now I am ready to walk. |
| Jessica's Journal |
| A bit of background. I have been seeing a therapist for a month now and a saw another therapist for a couple of months last summer, but then I stopped but then I realized that needed to go a therapist..This is just my opinion, but for those people who have been and are questioning your gender identity seek some assistance, it would be helpful. |
 |
 |
 |
| Journal Page |