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Heart! ~ If you are not a subscriber and this has been passed on to you, join us by sending a blank e-mail to four_ears @ msn.com (remove spaces) with "subscribe" in the subject line. And get the love direct! Tour our web site: http://www.geocities.com/jenniferioliver2001 ________________________________________________________ "When walking through the 'valley of shadows, remember, a shadow is cast by a Light." - H.K. Barclay ________________________________________________________ Folks, back by popular demand is talented author, Carol Roach, who shares with us a story of incredible triumph over pain. Thank you, Carol, and God bless! ________________________________________________________ JUST A MOM My marriage failed early on. I was a young mother of a three-year- old, and my husband became psychotic. Although I tried everything I could for him, our marriage ended in divorce, and my husband went back to his country of origin. I struggled many years as a single parent. And in the back of my mind I was always afraid that my son would come down with the same affliction as his father. Times were hard, and my son was a troubled child who later became troubled youth. During the early years my son was very withdrawn to the point that he needed professional care. Then when he reached the age of thirteen, the tables began to turn, and he became delinquent. He was diagnosed as having a personality disorder called "conduct disorder." By this time, my son had developed an uncontrollable temper. After his first bout with the law at the age of thirteen, I was convinced that juvenile detention was not the place for him. What he needed was clinical help. It was decided by the juvenile court system that he pass a psychiatric evaluation. As a result, he was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for a 30-day evaluation. The procedure at the hospital was to have the youth first put in what is called "respite," meaning that the child was kept under observation in a room for 24 hours away from the other kids to assess his suitability to be with the kids. It was already three weeks, and my son was still in respite. He was violent and did not want anybody to go near him. He once threw a heavy oak dresser at two of the staff members. It got to the point that the staff was afraid of him. The doctors were at a loss. All they knew was that he needed to come out of respite. Other specialists were called in to make a diagnosis. It was originally thought that he was schizophrenic like his dad, but it was later ruled out. The final assessment regarding the temper outbursts was that they were caused by panic. Yet what to do with him was still a concern of his doctor. A mother of a youth in the hospital unit volunteered to go visit my son to see if she could talk to him since no one else seemed to be able to. She was granted permission to do so but told to leave the room at the first sign of trouble. Sharon visited with my son one night and later explained to me what had taken place. He was lying on his bed when she entered the room very cautiously and quietly. At first she made no attempt to say or do anything but just sit there. My son did not respond. Sharon introduced herself as the mother of Jason, one of the boys in the unit. She said she was not a professional but "just a mom." She said that she knew that my son was scared and lonely; not knowing what was happening to him because her son felt the same way when he first entered the program. She told him that if he wanted to talk to her she was there for him and would stay all night if he wanted her to. Still, there was no response from my son. So Sharon stood up and said to him, "I can understand if you don't want me here. You didn't invite me here, and I will leave if you want me to." It was at that point that my son told her with tears in his eyes, "No, don't go." She held him in her arms while he cried, and she cried with him. Sharon spent the night with him, and my son began responding from that day forward. All my son needed was some kind words and deeds from a kind person. I will never forget how it was not the professionals that had made the initial breakthrough with my son. It was "just a mom." Carol Roach winterose @ videotron.ca Copyright © 2002 by Carol Roach. All rights reserved. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ About the author: Carol is a holds a masters degree in counseling psychology spurred on by her experience with mental disorders. She is a grandmother and loves to write stories with messages of hope. _________________________________________________________ FAMILY LOVE MOMENT MORE THAN CHEESECAKE Kids really do say the darnedest things, and my grandson Logan is testimony to this.He constantly has us in fits of laughter with the way he verbalizes from a three-year-old'spoint of view. I started writing down some of the anecdotes that have charmed us, and thejournal's pages are filling up fast. Youth is so fleeting that preserving precious memories isimportant, before they are swept away and forgotten forever. Logan is a demonstrative child and openly tells the special people in his life how much heloves them. He started saying very sincerely, "I love you more than cheesecake!" We thought it was so endearing but were curious as to where it came from. Whenquestioned, he couldn't tell us. Did he hear it at nursery school? Did he hear it ontelevision or from some friends? Did he make it up? Did he even know whatcheesecake was? It was a mystery, so I just added it to my ever-increasing list of "Loganisms." One day after he had spent the day with me, my son and daughter-in- law came topick him up. Logan gave me good-bye hugs and kisses and promised he would phoneme and see me soon. "I love you more than cheesecake," I told him as this catch phrase had now becomea given in our family. "I love you more than cheesecake, too," he responded with a big grin. The car pulled away, and as I waved, I could see him mouthing something. My daughter-in-law rolled down her window and called to me, "Logan just said, 'Ohh, I lovethat Grandma!" And I love that Logan. More than cheesecake. Maria Harden Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada(c) 2002 mharden @ escape.ca _________________________________________________________ FROM OUR FRIENDLY E-MAIL CARRIER In regards to "Backscratcher" by Mark Davis (http://geocities.com/jenniferioliver2001/070902.htm) I can understand how Mark feels about back rubs, and am sorry for his loss and going through a divorce. My grandmother was a wonderful back rubber. When I was a youngster she would let me get into bed with her and rub my back. My grandfather had been a good back rubber to her...and as the years passed, I had back problems. She lived to be 91 and would continue to rub my back. My hubby too is a great back rubber and it is one of the things I look forward to when we go to bed. After the strain on my back all day...it is good to have someone with nails that don't bother me, rub and scratch. I can relate to Mark's new investment! And two out of our three kids love having their back rubbed. - Diane Hi, I look forward to Tuesdays. I like reading others stories too. How come guys can't reach their own backs? My husband likes to have me scratch his back. He'll go up against any bookshelf he can find. I know I'm nothing like the ex of the guy, I think it's anatomical. - sandra See where Mark Davis is from Ruidoso. One of the scariest of approaches and landings in my flying career was there. Flying in a party attending the horse races. My first time there and trying to control airspeed going down the side of the mountain on the north end of the runway. My passengers never saw my sweaty palms. ;-) Mark Crider _________________________________________________________ LOVE, JENNIFER I. OLIVER AND FAMILY four_ears @ msn.com "To live that in thy last long sleep, Smiles my be thine wile all around thee weep." - Nellie L. Wallace, June 24, 1873 _________________________________________________________ This E-mail may be forwarded in its entirety, but first ask the writer for permission before forwarding. Thank you for doing the decent thing! Ü ________________________________________________________ SUBMIT STORY, QUOTE, OR FAMILY LOVE MOMENT: http://www.geocities.com/jenniferioliver2001/submission.htm FEEDBACK: four_ears @ msn.com ________________________________________________________ |
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