Common Mistakes - Non-Native Common Mistakes - Native Finding a Teacher Greetings
Business Greetings Inflection and Stress
The truth is that there is a very wide range of informal speech that is used daily by Anglophones which will never find its way into a textbook For example, look at the following greeting and response.
"Hi."
"Whatever."
The "Hi," greeting, here, is informal and friendly. "Hello," is equivalent. The response of "Whatever," indicates that the speaker is tired, bored, angry at the speaker or not interested in talking. It's also a tad bit rude. There is no absolute correct response to this. It is, after all, informal speech. However, in this case it would probably be best to leave the person alone, until he says that he wants to be approached again. Let's look at another example.
"What's up?"
"Not much."
This is a more standard informal greeting and response, and is used frequently. Equivalent is, "What's happening?" or "What's going on?" (The same response applies.) The Warner Brothers comic character Bugs Bunny is known for using the greeting, "What's up, Doc?" It was also the title of a film with Ryan O'Neal and Barbra Streisand. "Doc" is essentially meaningless and is only intended to enhance the familiarity and informality of the greeting. Typically, it shows that the speaker has a coarse personality.
These greetings invite the person being greeted to talk about what he's been doing lately or recent events in his life. They may require a segue in certain circumstances. For example, "What's happening?" "A lot. My sister just got married, and my book got published."
Another greeting:
"How ya doin'?"
"Great!"
In writing, the statement "How ya doin'," would be grammatically incorrect, however in speech it is normal to gloss over words like are. Here the verb is implied. Another variant is "How're ya doin'?" Note that this is difficult to pronounce, thus most people just drop the "'re". Joey Tribbiani in the TV show Friends typically used a different variant. "How you doin'?" The you here is stressed: that is you, as opposed to somebody else. It expressed Joey's tendency to be fickle with women, often greeting women compulsively even if the others were still in earshot. The response in the above example simply indicates that the speaker is in a very good mood. It could be replaced easily with, "Fantastic!" or "Good!" or even just "Okay," depending on your mood. Don't get overzealous with this one. Responses like "Incredible!" or "Super!" may sound similar to a non-native speaker, but may have native speakers looking at you like you're crazy. "Rotten," may get you pigeonholed as a curmudgeon (a bad-tempered and stubborn person). Another greeting:
"Hey."
"Hi! Where've you been?!"
Here, "Hey," is synonymous with "Hi," or "Hello." The response indicates that the speaker is pleasantly surprised to see the greeter, and hasn't seen him in a while. A response of, "Where've you been," without the "Hi," could indicate that the speaker was angry at the greeter for being gone so long, or that he's been looking for him.
A greeting that is exchanged between people who know each other either casually or familiarly, and may be accompanied by an embrace. A greeting embrace should be brief unless you know the person really well. Never embrace anybody you've just met. A handshake is also acceptable if you've just met the person, or a brief, light pat on the back or upper arm is acceptable if you know the person you're greeting.
Americans tend to dislike the double kiss greeting given by Italians and French people. I strongly suggest that you do not use this greeting with Americans. It may seem unfriendly to you not to use it, however it is considered off-putting by many Americans, who don't like to be touched by strangers. It's especially off-putting when a man is giving the double kiss to another man, since Americans consider the kiss to be almost univerally sexual. You may be forgiven for the double kiss, or it may be laughed off, but I can guarantee the recipient will not be overjoyed to get it.
Next Page: Informal Greetings, Continued