The Indians are prepared to play their tunes on nice'n'twangy sitars,
but I prefer a man who sings and pings expensive guitars

Some drums played by hand may be quite instrumental,
but guitars are a jem's best friend
a bass may be grand, but it won't pay the rental on your Auckland flat
or help you on your farm of cats
flutes grow cold, as jem grows old, and we all lose our tune in the end
but wood-grained or square-shaped these things wont lose their mate
guitars are a jems best friend

Pic holders, water, talk to me bret mckos', tell me all about it
There many come a time when jem needs a xylophone
but guitars are a jems best friend

There may come a time when a hot folk band member thinks youre awful nice
but eat some rice or else get lice
he's your guy when socks are white
but beware if them he needs to mend
its then that those drongos go back to their bongos
guitars are a jems best friend

I've heard of keyboards that are quite electronic
But guitars are a Jem's best friend
And tambourines can sometimes be so strictly comic
Are better bets if little pets get big baguettes
Time rolls on and mirth is gone
And you can't pluck the strings on the end
But stiff hands or stiff knees
You'll stand straight with Bret's Knees
Guitars
Guitars
I don't mean banjos
But Guitars
Are A Jem's best friend