---Tuesday, October 29th---

So Peilin and I were arguing over this during lunch:

Is Meader a Republican or a Democrat?

Cuz I was telling her about how he proctored my P-SAT and it was distracting because everytime I looked at the clock I saw Meader, who looks a LOT like Bushie. And my blood would turn to ice and my heart was clench up and I would just get feelings of antagonism that were not conducive to a positive testing environment.

So he's pacing around on that little platform during lunch, and Peilin and I walk by. And Peilin's like, "why do you detest Meader so much, Minna?"

And I say, "he's a symbol of my hatred. Evil reincarnated at Irvine High."

"Why?" Peilin presses. "Give him a chance, for all you know he's a Democrat!" (

Now, I don't really like democrats either. A lot of them are phonies. But at least they're better than republicans.)

"Peilin, this is the city of IRVINE. Everyone here over the age of 35 is a republican."

Which was sort of a lie. My mom's defintely over 35 and she's a democrat.

Peilin and I skipped over to ask Meader if he was a democrat or a republican, but we dissolve into a fit of giggles. So we run away and I notice Garison the tech guy. And I'm like, "hey Garison, is Vice Principal Meader a Republican or a Democrat?"

And Garison's like "What in the world..."

So we sort of explain our argument and Garison goes, "Meader a Republican or a Democrat...hmmm....well from his views on hunting I'd say he's a Republican."

So Meader likes hunting.

Bambi's mommy!

*sniffle*

peilin just told me how to properly spell disintegrate. So up there, where I typed 'dissolved' I really meant disintegrated")

Bah. Math and Spanish test. I am so apathetic. Oh yeah, the El Vaq comes out tomorrow. I can't wait.

---Monday, October 28th---

Gregor Mendel. Raper of pea plants. (haha he is wearing a dress.) One of the many people responsible for my lousy grade in AP Bio, and the existance of AP Bio to begin with.

My mom just found out about my grades. Well...I sort of fudged to her. She wanted to know where my fricken report card was...and I told her I threw it away...or something. Now she's being all uptight. Which isn't helping my already intense situation.

See, this is why I did NOT want to tell her. Because there is no way telling her will help. But she'll make me do crap. And I'll raise my grades anyway. And then she'll say that there was no way I could have raised my grades without her. So what the hell. This is all one great big fuck you from god or something. *sigh*

The more stressed I get, the fatter and pimplelier I get. The more fatter and pimplelier I get, the more stressed I get.

Chain of Pain.

This is dumb. I'm supposed to be smart.

---Thursday, October 24th---

my gosh this is silly.

*studies meiosis*

i have decided that biology is not SEXY. at all.

I mean, i'm studying the CD-Rom, and the guy is saying SEX cells like, every five seconds (we're studying meiosis) and I'm like, falling asleep.

the biology cd rom is talking about sex and i still can't stay awake.

how pathetic. :'(

Jeremey and Karen probably think I'm narcoleptic or something, because I keep on falling asleep during math like the Argentinian from Moulin Rogue, and it's not even like it's on purpose. Today Jeremey poked me once every 30 seconds to make sure I was awake. In fact, he got so fed up he grabbed my arm and shook it. *sigh*

I see now that when I don't get enough sleep at night, I fall asleep in classes with lecture notes on overheads.

Which reminds me, download Narcolepsy by Third Eye Blind. It's L337 ("leet") whatever that means. (great, collin and tung have corrupted me, now I type the word L337).

---Wednesday, October 23rd---
Mole Day! (10x23)

hmmm. Went to college night.

Talked to a bunch of people. The West Point guy...what a snob. The Air Force guy was really nice, tho. Not bad looking. Not that I was looking. But yeah.

I would join the air force and not pay for college and be paid to go to college and medical school, but I can't do push ups and arm hangs and I don't want to be an indentured servant until the age of 35, especially not to Bushie.

Um.

Yeah, so college is weird, and now I'm more confused than ever.

And how come Notre-Dame No Name College as a 90% graduate/professional school acceptance rate? Because their student to teacher ratio is 1:15?

Cal-Tech guy told me not to go to Cal-Tech if I wanted to do medicine, because their GPA's are generally lower than other BA/BS schools and Med Schools look at GPA. I was going to as him some more stuff, but this horde of Asian Fob Mothers shoved themselves in front of me. "Look! Kell-Tack!" they said as they bumped me out of the way. =(

You should've seen the Harvard College table. *Sniffle* I gave up trying to shove through the horde of frentic asians.

I stole 2 yellow pens with houses on them (I'll show you guys later) from UC Riverside. Yeah, I know, YOUTH AGAINST RIVERSIDE. But they make good hair put ups.

You know what stinks? Although I'm part of YOUTH AGAINST RIVERSIDE ^_-, the only creative writing major in the UC System is at Riverside.

Me: I'm majoring in creative writing
Mom: Oh. Whatever you like, dear

(*she was tired and watching chinese soap operas*)

So yeah, the nicest representative at the place was the air force guy, (i have a whole folder full of propaganda, tung, if you wanna see it) and I don't even think I qualify for the air force. I definitely don't WANT to do air force. (85% of the people at the academy in Colorado lettered in athletics).

I'm probably going to letter in something corny like Journalism or Technology.

hummus. =P

So, for halloween...

Should I be Indiana Jones or Jedi Knight? I would whip up something else but I don't have the time or money.

Color Test

dude, it's the beer fairy!

http://www.colorquiz.com/

Your Existing Situation
Sensitive and understanding but under some strain; needs to unwind in the company of someone close to him

Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Clings to her belief that her hopes and ideas are realistic, but needs encouragement and reassurance. Applies very exacting standards to her choice of a partner and wants guarantees against loss or disappointment.
Conditions are such that she will not let herself become intimately involved without making mental reservations

Your Desired Objective
Pursues her objectives with intensity and does not allow herself to be deflected from her purpose. Wants to overcome the obstacles with which she is faced and to achieve special recognition and standing from her success.

Your Actual Problem
Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments

Mental Illness Test

(minna was being histronic and the below results are not to be taken seriously. =P)

(even though you might believe otherwise)

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html

---Wednesday, October 16th---

*hops up and down*

Bad day, bad day bad day...

I am never going to get PSAT/NMSQT! =(

Ugh I thought I left my study sheet AND homework at home. But it was really in my backpack...in my binder! I was sooo organized I couldn't even find it!!!!

Beh. Irony.

Thank god for the late start.

---Wednesday, October 9th---

Dear Boy,
You are the perfect guy for me. I know you are out there somewhere. So please remove your head from the toilet, drive up to my house in your white mitsubishi 1999 eclipse, and sweep me off my computer chair to your million dollar mansion that we may live happily ever after. Because that's my only goal in life.

Not you, dammit. The happily ever after part.

Love,
Minna

P.S. Although the car would be nice, too.

---Tuesday, October 8th---

Hoy. I am sooo groggy.

Life goes on?

I keep drooping in math. it's really bad.

sitting in tech right now. apathetic.

I am going to fall asleep during SAT I. I just know it.

I am glad I do not have a boyfriend, because I think I would have collapsed onto him right about now. (exhaustion). Uh. And that would hurt him, because I am one off the 15.5% americans aged 12-19 obese? I'm OBESE but NOT OVERWEIGHT. That is so weird. I'm within my height range but too much fat body percentage? (note that this is pure speculation *pinches stomach* I'm blubby enough to be obese but fat is very light compared to muscle.

My scalp itches. You're supposed to wash your hair every other day. But if I don't wash it every day, my scalp itches. Too much hair on my scalp. Ugh. Why can't I shave it ?

Oh yeah. My inability to conquer society's inherant stereotypical whatever i'm so tired I'm not making sense.

Blooey!

Well, I got 2 beta readers for my ff. Although to be honest, I hate ff's cuz they are such copyrightist unoriginal crap. Fun, but ultimately self defeating.

*flips through magazine order catalog*

IF ANYONE WANTS TO BUY MAGAZINES FROM MARK, TELL ME ASAP

---Monday, October 7th---

asian parents take things so literally

me: well, i once heard "children are mirrors of [adults] if there is something wrong with them, there is something wrong with [adults]"
mom: you are NOT my reflection!
me: huh?
mom: look at your face! Do I have that many PIMPLES?!??! NO!
me: it's not literative! it's figurative!
mom: GO TO BED!
me: it's figurative!
mom: LOOK AT your FACE! do I look like that?!?!
me: *hids crater face in shame* it's not literal!

ah...the words of miyazaki...

you know, there is probably something that I was supposed to do but forgot, and I will recieve payback in class tomorrow...or something

---Saturday, October 6th---

Another day wasted by ACI.

SAT party tomorrow!

Political Cartoon

Astrology Chart

Name: Marissa Minna Lee
July 31 1986
2:58 PM Time Zone is 4 Hrs. Includes daylight time if applicable.
Gainesville, Florida

(Parentheses indicate my thoughts)

Rising Sign is in 22 Degrees Scorpio
You tend to be quiet, reserved, secretive and, at times, quite difficult to understand. (okay, yeah...) Others notice your deep emotions and feelings and wonder how to draw you out. Stubborn and tough, you fight for any position you believe in. (definitely true. =P) You are very resourceful and formidable when you become angered or upset about something. You enjoy living life at the cutting edge -- for you life must be experienced intensely and totally. Quite courageous, you are willing to take calculated risks. Easily hurt by others, you often strike back with bitter sarcasm. Sensitive and curious, you are concerned with the deeper mysteries of human psychology. Once you have become interested in any subject, you pursue it with total fanaticism (Star Wars). (okay, that's just scary)

Sun is in 08 Degrees Leo.
More than a bit of a showoff, you love to be the center of attention! But others do not usually mind because they tend to enjoy your genuine warmth and affection. (First part yes, second part I wish) Very spirited and willful, proud and self-important (hah) at times, you demand your own way. You are quite honest, however, and the respect of others is very important to you. (definitely) You never compromise yourself and you pursue your goals with persistence and dedication. Your regal presence and demeanor draws you to positions of leadership and authority. But beware of being overly hardheaded, domineering, ostentatious or patronizing (oops) or you will lose the goodwill and admiration that you enjoy. Very theatrical, you live life on a grand scale wherever and whenever possible. Your strength and energy vitalizes those who come in contact with you.

Moon is in 12 Degrees Gemini.
Restless in the extreme, you are easily bored because of your short attention span (short attention spans suck). Your emotions change rapidly and you love to talk about your feelings. Generally, you have good judgment (no...)-- your intellect controls your emotions and you do not overreact emotionally to things. A good jack-of-all-trades, you have many- sided interests and enjoy reasoning things through. With your mental agility and need for physical mobility, you are attracted to traveling and learning about other peoples and cultures. You have vivid powers of emotional self-expression - - you can be a nonstop talker. You love to share your ideas with anyone who will listen. (yes, people always tell me to shut up. but that's usually cuz i get annoying.)

Mercury is in 25 Degrees Cancer.
Your emotions tend to rule your thought processes. You have difficulty seeing life objectively. You have an excellent memory, especially about things to which you have formed an emotional bond (definitely true...which explains why I can't memorize math formulas, but i can still remember my old phone number). You prefer ideas and thoughts that are known and familiar, and therefore tend to dislike fads or radical ideas (i hate fads, but i like radical stuff sometimes). The beliefs and traditions of your family and culture are very important to you (not really. I sort of made my own set of ethics along the way). Your thinking becomes quite unclear when you are emotionally shaken -- try not to make major decisions when you are upset. Let things calm down first. (I actually work well when I'm upset...I just sound too panicky for people to trust me.)

Venus is in 22 Degrees Virgo.
You express your love and affection through selfless service to people or causes. You have a tendency to underestimate yourself and doubt your self-worth (sounds like my mom now.) This is very demeaning and should be avoided -- learn to love yourself as well as you do others. Your standards of perfection are very high -- you are attracted to relationships based on duty and responsibility. You are supercritical of yourself and others and, at times, prefer to be alone rather than deal with any imperfections in yourself or in those with whom you might relate. (actually...i'm usually more of a fixer. I try to fix things that cannot be fixed...)

Mars is in 12 Degrees Capricorn.
Extremely ambitious, you are willing to work very hard to reach the goals you have set for yourself. Very practical, cautious and conservative, you demand tangible results for your efforts. You need to excel in whatever you do, and you have the required sense of responsibility, dedication and self-discipline to bring it about. Beware of your tendency to judge others only by their degree of status and prestige, or by how well they will be able to advance you in your climb to the top.

Jupiter is in 22 Degrees Pisces.
You are at your best when you give of yourself and what you have -- try to avoid being a martyr about it, though. You're a true idealist, but you must learn not to be upset when life does not cooperate with the way you think things should be. Very concerned with spiritual truth and growth, when you practice what you preach, you make an excellent role model for others. You are so devoted to altruistic ventures and concerns that you tire easily at times. It then becomes necessary for you to go off by yourself to recharge your batteries.

Saturn is in 03 Degrees Sagittarius.
Basically quite conservative (no no no!), you respect traditional authority figures and are very thankful and supportive of the laws and institutions which govern your life (sort of...not really...yet kind of). You learn and accept new ideas only after having very thoroughly examined them. (just to be safe) Ideals and abstract concepts are important to you only if they can be used in some practical fashion. (not true) You are so practical and so orderly that you have natural skills in planning, administrating and organizing. (not orderly, but semi-logical)

Uranus is in 18 Degrees Sagittarius. (haha my anus is in sagittarius)
You, and most of your peers, have the tendency to think that all ideas, customs and traditions from the past are outmoded and irrelevant. (yeah, we were raised by FOBby parents) You are attracted to radically new ideas, philosophies and religions that will, hopefully, cause sweeping changes throughout the world. (i'm an insurgent. what can i say?)

Neptune is in 03 Degrees Capricorn.
You, and your entire generation, will idealize work, practicality and the ability to attain reasonable goals. But, because you will also stress the need to be selfless and giving, you may find it difficult to attain your goals unless you have lowered your expectations on all fronts. (i hate doing that. it's first cousin to forfeit)

Pluto is in 04 Degrees Scorpio.
For your entire generation, this is a period of intense research and discovery in areas that were heretofore considered mysterious, remote or taboo. The root causes for many complex occurrences will be unearthed due to the intensity and thoroughness of the search. ("I smell a Bob Shepard. Kitty Shepard's husband's initials"-- Ms. Harwood)

Node is in 24 Degrees Aries.
You're at your most comfortable when involved in group activities outside of your immediate family circle. You delight in getting involved with others in neighborhood civic or political activities, especially if you can be a part of the leadership of the group. Your zeal and overabundant energy bring out your real creativity when you can work toward tangible results -- things that will immediately benefit those around you. You have a real gift for getting the most out of charity drives and community benefits. Take time out between projects though, because you tire out easily and your effectiveness becomes greatly diminished when your energy is depleted. Also, don't even think of trying to get involved at a peripheral level -- you need a total commitment to feel personally fulfilled. Let others bake the cookies and set up the chairs -- you should be the one to tell everyone what to do and when to do it!

---Friday, October 4th---

update

hmmm. something i forgot to mention.

I was taking my math quiz (half delusional cuz i'm so damn drowsy and tired) and all of a sudden I think:

Car Accident.

And I'm like. *shakes head*

I dunno. I always get random stuff like that. And I get the freakiest dreams...so a little random semi-drowsiness don't bother me.

But then when Nick and I are on the way home he's like, "I had to fight through traffic to get home and back to school to pick you guys up there was an accident at Yale and Deerfield right in front of your house. Like...4 cars..."

And I'm like, "oh."

Croikey.

Maybe I embellish to much, but that was VERY weird.

***

Lol today was messed up but funny...

Don't ask me about school. I don't know how I got through an entire day, a B day, all I know is I did and now I have a 3 day weekend baby! *woot!*

Of course, with the SATs looming ahead in less than a week, it's not much of a weekend. But it's something.

In the course of human events, there are some afternoon activities that may very well drive you insane. One is dinner donation, an incomprehensible activity that involved dropping off $45 of meal off at a nice house in Laguna Beach. Seriously, they were maybe 5 blocks away from the water. So I'm thinking...it's a youth shelter...but they live right next to a Ralphs and the beach. And I somehow convinced my poor cousin to drive 4 people all the way to Laguna to give these people food coming out of FREAC club's nonexistant treasury. Because Tiffany can't find the money box. And I can only hope Tung remembered to deposit the cash I told him to last year.

So Nick's like *vroom vroom in his lexus* out of the school parking lot. And he turns up Eminem (why does he listento Eminem?!) real loud and starts singing to it. And Scarlet's like, oh my god.

You should've heard nick singing to "A Moment like This" and "R-E-S-P-E-C-T". That was priceless.

Anyhow, Nick vroom vrooms to Laguna Beach and seriously scares the hell out of all my friends who, according to him, "do not know the difference between closing and slamming car doors". We turned into a parking lot by accident and Nick saw an Azure...something...Some nice car. Some $400,000 nice car. And he jumps out of the car he's driving and walks by the car and just looks at it.

Priceless.

=) Oh well. At least we got the kids their food. They were teenagers, actually. Their lives didn't look too shabby. I mean, we only spent a couple of minutes there because we had to run back so vicky wouldn't miss art class. But I hope they enjoy the food and don't get poisoning from bad Deli Meat (like Nick did). It wasn't a bad thing to do...except it drained our missing treasury and, uh, it didn't really feel like community service.

Maybe it was the location or something.

After everyone left, Nick mellowed out. Then he ragged me about the stupid EL Vaquero.

*screams and pulls out hair*

I should hurt whoever specified the ink %s to the printer, especially whoever suggested my graphs be blue.

Because everyone thinks I'm a dumbass and a crappy graphic designer.

*bangs head against the wall*

Why in the hell did people put my NAME under those stupid graphs. I didn't put it there. Why did they?!?!?!!

ARAGH

Everyone, the Tropical Cafe Smoothie Coupon in the El Vaquero was my design, too! And that one was really good, wasn't it? Too bad my name isn't on that one and it's IS on the crappy unreadable graphs. Man, this issue sucks.

And now everyone in tech staff thinks I'm a dumbass.

And they put my name in quotes. Leave it be! I never put Minna in quotes. Ever. That's tacky. =P

Well I guess writing "marissa minna lee" on everything I do--including my website--is already pretty tacky. But I like Minna. Marissa...the name bothers me. It seems impersonal. It doesn't sound like my personality. Neither does Minna...

Maybe I should change my name to Shameeka.

But I'm not a dumbass.

Use the coupon.

---Thursday, October 3rd---

Okay, so here's what I've decided.

Since I now have a livejournal account, I will copy and paste my entries on my website (geocities.com/jedifreac) there. So basically...you get the same entry on NOTB and here.

Hooray!

Today was okay. I think something in the Italian Soda I had for lunch knocked me out in Third Period. I was literally falling asleep over my textbooks. Luckily, I had my friends Jeremy and Karen to ensure my semi-constant awaked-ness. So that was interesting...good thing the lesson was mostly review, as I was more asleep than awake. I probably missed all of the good jokes in math! In tech Ashkan and I hung up T-shirts. Well, he hung them. I just pinned and handed them to him. He got to sit on the big cabinet and wave his hands around like a looney. He shaved his chin fur so now he looks like a movie star. Hooray. Then Mrs. Antenore came in and danced to New York, New York with a T-shirt. It was quite interesting. I missed most of it because I ran out into the student center to comandeer a stack of phone books.

Meh. I sooo do not want to study for AP Bio and Art. Which i guess explains something about my Bio grade. I hope we don't have anything due in English. I think I'm sick of writing. I figured out one of the main points of the AP English passage 5 minutes before she shut us down. =(

So SAT Practice Sunday at 3, Barnes & Noble...RSVP ASAP!
Spirited Away after SAT I (tentatively, must check with Uni people!)!

Meh. I've hit another writer's block. I think I might write a simple short story. Does anyone have any ideas?

Article about shaving legs is up.

Livejournal is nice, I just wish they wouldn't charge us money.

Um. Anyhow. Blah.

Give me story ideas...

Um, so Peilin and Jordan and I were in Seattles flipping through People Magazine, and we find this picture of Pierce Brosnan, right? And he's in these orange swim trunks and he looks NOTHING like James Bond. It's funny. And then his naked baby boy is running circles around him. He has a beer belly! See, Bond isn't perfect!

In response to Tung's post about the ideal guy...there is no canon for the ideal guy. Women are copy cats, but they still have their individual preferences. We cannot compare guys by breast or butt size, so we use other factors like hair and smile and big biceps. Because humans are shallow and evil creatures. Obviously.

Ugh. So here is my discourse on the Ideal Guy It's sort of long. I wrote it a while back. It's lovely, I say. Also, here is my cousin Shelley's essay on her idea of a perfect guy.

Anyhow, both are quite unreasonable, which is quite unfortunate. Because the perfect guy will probably read this essay, and being the intelligent and "logically derivative instead of derrogative" person that he is...run in the opposite direction away from the demanding girlfriend.

When I am feeling EXTREMELY influenced by trippy seventeen magazine, I sort guys into groups. "The Impossible": which is basically people like movie stars and good looking seniors "The Possible": which is the average guy next door types, and the "The Hello Hooray": 'hello hooray' guys are the closest to the Ideal Guy Canon.

Hello Hooray. Hope that makes things clearer, W.

Wow. Long post. Anyhow, fighting for peace is like f--ing for virginity, just you remember that.

Nothing else to extrapolate on. I guess I'll go back to studying.

Too many Impossibles/Hello Hoorays in my life right now.

*slaps self* wth is wrong with me. *slaps self* so shallow am i!

---Tuesday, October 1st---

I am on fire this year.
Or has this year set me on fire? =(

I hate being a Junior.

It seriously sucks.

Nothing else worthwhile to say. I've whined enough today.

Joxer the mighty.

---Monday, September 30th---

So...respecting people who are like you...is just indirect egotism...and respecting people who are not like you is transcending it? I dunno. Random thought.

I wish I could put everything that is on my mind on this website, but people actually read it. Damn. No time to write in my real journal.

I guess I didn't win. *sniffle*

cest'la vie

On Seventeen Magazine:
(over lunch)Me: Well, I figure if I won the contest they would've contacted me already.
Mom: Guess so.
Me: I was being irrational when I entered, anyway. I mean I wrote an article against shaving legs.
Mom: That's bad because...? I don't see how it's bad.
Me: Cuz Gillette advertises with Seventeen Magazine.
Mom: What? You're stupid!
Me: What? Why?
Mom: Gillette pays Seventeen to promote shaving, you enter a contest with an essay against shaving and expect Seventeen to pay you?
Me: Yeah.
Mom: They're business people. They want to get money. They don't want to piss off Gillette.
Me: It's the principle. 12 year old girls read seventeen. Theoretically, they would read the article and be enlightened about the reasons why women shave. And think about stopping. And of course they won't, cuz they are sheep...but still.
Mom: Then why did you write it?
Me: People aren't going to stop shaving because of a stupid article in Seventeen. I only wrote it because...if I'd won with a wimpy article...I mean...I'd only write for them if I'd won under the merits of this article, anyway. Anything else would be beneath me.
Mom: They don't care. They're business people.
Me: Point. If they don't take a controversial article like Leg Shaving, I guess they are too shallow for me, anyway. At least that's how I'm rationalizing right now. So I guess my only regret is the 37 cents shipping...and the fact that all entries become property of Seventeen magazine.
Mom: Well that certainly sucks.
Me: It's okay, actually. I could always tweak the premise a little and publish it in The Thinker. Although in retrospect the $800 prize would've been nice.
Mom: Minna?
Me: Yeah?
Mom: You are weird.

I want to smack the College Board with a 2 by 4
I want to urinate on the P-SATs
I want to squash the SAT with my posterior
Preferably with glee
I want to see someone service ETS
I want to see someone make them scream
But I guess all high schoolers are whores to them already.

Damn. I'm punny
Need help understanding the rhetoric displayed above? IM me at jedichink8 and I will gladly explain the definition of the word 'service' I was trying to employ.

---September 29th, 2002---

at the moment i am...
listening to: Tresspassers William - Lie in the Sound (haunting and gorgeous)
wearing: The Indy Shirt Daniel bought me, and khakis.
watching: the computer monitor
reading: an article on Men's Health 18 that Michael found
thinking about: the article. And other things. Feminism. Amnesty International. Life in general. My bad grades.
wondering: why I'm here and not there. Which is generally a bad thing to do.
consuming: Nothing. I didn't have dinner or breakfast, it's 1:30 and I haven't had lunch. For some reason I don't feel hungry. And no I am not anorexic...do I look anorexic? =P
talking to: Erik Elliott and Mark (discussing fly fishing and ferret magazine)
wanting: to smack the College Bord with a 2 by 4
feeling: hungry. now that I have smelled food.
random thought: This is what was in the article: Men have vaginas. They're vestigial and called the vagina masculina. They are attatched to your bladder. The article employed figurative language (simile) but I'll spare you that. Men also have hymens...located around the prostate gland. Just thought you would like to know.

If anyone tries to use any of MH-18's ridiculous and deprecating pick up lines on me...I will sic em in the nuts.

Personality Test

ENTP

Ok. Ready? You like to chase the novel and complex. You have faith in your ability to overcome any challenges you face...highly independent...value adaptability and innovation...you encourage and value change...

You need freedom for action...you resist hierarchy and structure...you push against all odds to further your projects with your entrepreneurial tendencies...you can argue and find the flaws in any position...

How'm I doing so far? You rarely accept things just as they are...you like to test new meanings and relationships..when you don't get what you want, you use your cleverness and ingenuity to bring people around to your point of view...when you choose a career, you tend to set flexible goals that allow you to incorporate new information and accommodate to new circumstances...

"Keep your options open" is your middle name... you like to explore the "road not taken." Your flexibility can look like indecision to others who don't have a clue about you..you take advantage of opportunities...you realize potential of many things because of your ability to see connections and relationships between SEEMINGLY unrelated things...you cannot be ordered around, but rather handle things best when they are *suggestions*....like posting more on the Storm Palace BBS you love excitement...

Competence is key to you.. you don't take advice or respect someone you don't see as competent...you want work to be enjoyable..you're a relentless learner. Knowledge is important to you...you use your enthusiasm to get others involved in your learning...you learn through give-and-take discussions and by questioning and challenging others....you like challenging your teachers and colleagues...limitations are mere challenges to you...you take initiative, and once the ball is rolling, you like to turn it over to someone else...

You like to organize logically and strategically....your work space might not LOOK organized, but underneath it all is a system that works for you. You like to have an impact...you need a job that allows you to be innovative. you like to take risks and explore...an open calendar for the weekend is really appealing...you're often "in on the latest things..."...you like travel, 'cause it allows you to open up new vistas and horizons (corny, huh?).

Falling in love happens when there's a good "fit" with another person...you often know after the first meeting whether there's any "real potential"... you may not like to commit until that right person comes along...therefore you probably won't settle down early...you don't like to lose at ANYthing you undertake...you're a born enterpriser...

Things to be on guard for: you have a great fear of looking dumb or incomp- etent..you may tend to think you have the perfect solutions for problems, and may become competitive when others challenge you... you might start to think that you're the only one who's in on the truth of things, so you might not like to listen to the input of others...you may have the tendency to overextend yourself as you jump in on lots of ideas without considering how long it takes to work 'em through... commit to too many projects? ...you are a rebel.. you find it difficult to accept standard operating procedures.. and hate HAVING to follow exact rules or policies...learn to work within the system.

ENTP: "Each New Thought Propels"

Finally, a "REAL" personality test And it's only 4 questions long.

I dunno if it accurately describes me or not. What do you think? Take one for yourself and then IM me for discussion!

---Saturday, Sept 28th---

So I'm figuring if I did win that column contest, they would've contacted me already. =(

Anyhow, I spent the day in SAT class at ACI. My score is embarassing. I DID take a PSAT at home yesterday, but I kept on glancing at the answer sheet to "double check" my answers...so I sort of doubt the validity of my "Merit Finalist" qualifying practice test score. Barron's practice PSAT sucks...there is no conversion chart so I have to convert it myself with Algebra...meaning No Curve.

Yeah, so there goes my integrity.

I want an Integra.

On second thought, they are the most stolen cars of 2001, so uh...maybe I don't.

I lost my 800 verbal winning streak. But I must say ACI's practice VERBAL tests are the ultimate pits. I can't stand them. They take these perfectly fine articles, like this one satirizing capitalism...And they'll take it seriously. Or butcher it in the questions. Or something. They had this whole article on Eurocentricism and Western Music...and one of the question answers was "The inherent splendor of Western Music"...and I'm like, "No, dammit! The correct answer is Eurocentricism..." Inherent splendor of western music...they're just reieterating what was said in the passage. Well, let's regurgitate instead of using a euphenism for eurocentricism and confuse Minna! *sticks fingers into mouth* (the international symbol of barfing/bullemia). I piss on the SAT's. =P

Math is just...well, my math score was rife with stupid mistakes. Riddled.

I also hate ACI's vocab quizzes because I use large synonyms and they count me wrong for not using laymen terms...or something...iono *head pops off neck*

---Friday, Sept 27th---

El Vaq came out today. This issue STINKS. =( At least my ads were pretty, right?

Um. I am still waiting for Seventeen to make me the winner of their contest. I don't think it's going to happen. Maybe my letter arrived in New York a day late or it got lost in their mailroom or they didn't read it or they didn't like it or something.

Well, it WAS about not shaving legs, and gillette advertises big with them...

Still, I've stuck to my resolution and saved about $5 since I wrote that article. Basically I have not shaved my legs since mid-late August, and now my leg hair is ...*measures* well the longest ones are about 1.5 centimeters long.

Okay, you probably did not need to know that. But before you run away screaming, consider what society has done to us? We have been societally conditioned to shave our legs. While the people at gillette DO need their jobs...it's not enough to concern me to the point where I waste half an hour twice a weak de-hairing my hair...when it grows back a few days later anyway!

Razor cartridges cost money. Guys aren't looking at my blubby legs anyway. I reserve the right NOT to shave.

MUAHAHHAHAHA

If you pay me, I'll shave. *demonish smile*

Maybe this is why I don't have a boyfriend. Cuz I'm crazy.

Um, don't worry, I will shave my legs for homecoming if I wear a skirt. *rolls eyes* I won't enjoy it, though. Okay, now you guys are about ready to disown me.

I don't care. I had a poopy day, a poopier week. This is my revenge. *brandishes furry leg*

****

I have little confidence in this world.
Not that the people are bad;
not that the individual thoughts are bad;
not that the planet itself is bad;
but as a whole, societal tides
spill forth in waves too strong
for any sole individual to survive long.
As such the world exists and I in it,
along with the rest of you people.

Have you ever built a sand pit to collect water?
Or, better yet, a sand wall to divert water?
Sooner or later, those constructions break down,
as do our minds and wills and individualities.
And then we're an individual once more;
a uniform, broken down, collective individual.

--Andrew Phan, matt damon look-a-like and poet extraordinaire!

---Thursday, Sept 26th---

*escapes from journalism*

Journalism actually isn't as bad as I expected. I'm friends with the EIC, we both like star wars, she's cool and nice and not yelly. And there's no Braun, which means I can inject personality when I do commentary. So it's not bad.

Hmmm...

I really don't know anymore. It just seems like life is getting stranger and stranger. And worse and worse. Every year of Junior year is like...*rolls downhill*

Take my AP Bio grade, for instant. It is BAD no no no no. See, imagine a bad grade.

Got a bad grade imagined in your head? Good.

Now, subtract, uh, say...16.5% from that imagined bad grade.

That's my grade in AP Biology.

Pretty Schei�e

And I'm not hyperbolizing, either. I do that too much. (both hyperbolize and use the word hyperbolize way too much).

On the upside I haven't broken yet. =)

I guess I'll just grit my teeth and work things out. Anyhow, it's time to get into gear.

I can't believe...

Well, I believe it.

*sigh*

Every new begining comes from some other begining's end.

---Wednesday, Sept 25th---

UPDATE 11:11 PM She was at grandma's. Oh well.

Song: The Verve Pipe - Freshmen

UPDATE 7:08 PM: I guess my mom forgot about Back-to-School night. Sure, I only rushed to finish all of my homework before 6:45 so I could accompany her because unlike the other parents, she minds getting tipsy and lost. Then she blows me off to go to Geraldine's house or something.

This is great.

Um, the soundtrack to "Spirited Away" is actually really pretty. Sad at some parts, but super pretty. soundtrack to Spirited Away>sountrack to Princess Mononoke.

Updating from school on the T3 line. Since it's a minimum day no one is at home so I can monopolize the bandwith.

This rocks, it's going faster than DSL.

I'm actually here to finish my journalism article. In fact I have to go back now. *bounces*

---Tuesday, Sept. 24th---

Thank you to everyone who attended the Amnesty International meeting today!!!

Urk. Life is blah.

I am going to completely move everything around in my room. My grandparents are getting my old Queen sized bed and they're giving me their ratty old full sized one. But this will be interesting...it'll probably happen around thanksgiving but afterwards there just might be room for a LOT more stuff. =P

And this means new sheets! I get to go stylish! (i hope. ughie it's gonna be a lot of work)

Antidisestablishmentarianiminnaism.

Feel myself heavy on the ground i'm not scared i'm not coming down and now I know

I want something else. to get my through this...life. I want something else. I'm not listening when you say goodbye...

Through this semi-charmed kinda life.

---Monday, Sept. 23rd---

cool! California has approved Stem Cell research! (well, sort of cool depending on your political stance, but interesting none the less.)

Uh...NSAIDs prevent Alzheimers. Acetominophin overdose can be fatal. Is asprin out to damage tylenol's rep?

Ai we are on deadline. Let us just say some very INTERESTING developments have happend in journalism. Read the next issue to find out. =P

I watched Spirited Away today. Very nice movie. Although Collin and I wanna know whatever happend to that Hoku guy (his real name is Nydfasdhfgahiod KoHokudlsgblahblah ...*rolls eyes*). We think he might have fallen into a hole 5 minutes after Chihiro left. Or maybe they tied him up and threw him into the ocean. We finally concluded that Hoku went and got a haircut because he was fed up with looking like a girl, but accidentally chopped off his head in the process. It was either with a guillotine or a machete.

Speaking of machetes, Ashkan led me into Bio-Med today during 4th and I helped out Clyde, Sunya, and Shun-chei(sp?)/Jack/Hawk. They were doing this digestive system thing. It was a nice refresher course, although I sort of got carried away and added weapons and spurting blood to Clive's digestive system person diagram. Hooray. Oh yeah, Ashkan took my advice and cut his hair and now it looks super spiffy awesome. Everyone congratulate him on his totally not-Haku-ish fashion choice.

So basically I bombed a lot of tests today and I bombed a lot of tests on Friday.

I won't gripe, I guess. There is just so much going on.

A Moment Like This performed by American Idol Kelly Clarkson
Annotated by Minna (to smite Peilin in all my wrath and fury, for this song is not likeable at all)

What if i told you it was all meant to be?
Would you believe me? Would you agree? (Minna: No)
Its almost that feeling that we've met before
so tell me that you dont think im crazy (Minna: hmmm too bad)
when i tell you love has come here and now

a moment like this
some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this (Minna: tell me about it)
some people search forever for that one special kiss (Minna: apparently including me)
oh i cant believe its happeneing to me (Minna: believe it, honey)
some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this (Minna: redundancy)

Everything changes but beauty remains (Minna: yes, aesthetics are all)
something so tender i can't explain (Minna: maybe because you lack the vocabulary?)
i may be dreaming but until i awake cant we make this dream last forever? (Minna: oh, sure, why not?)
and ill cherish all the love we share

a moment like this
some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this
some people search forever for that one special kiss (Minna: stop searchin' already)
oh i cant believe its happeneing to me
some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this (Minna: Thank you for rubbing it in)

could this be the greatest love of all?
i wanna know that you will catch me when i fall (Minna: don't trip over poiny objects and stop depending on your overreliance on men)
so let me tell you this... (Minna: *runs away screaming*)
some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.. (Minna: well ain't you special) a moment like this
some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this
some people search forever for that one special kiss (Minna: now i am significantly depressed)
oh i cant believe its happening to me (Minna: *twitch twitch*)
some people wait a lifetime for a moment, a moment like this...
oh i cant believe its happening to me..some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this..(*Minna runs into the corner and retches*)

---Sunday, Sept. 22nd---

Okay, so moral of the story is, never completely plan out your day, there will always be contingencies to screw things up.

Like today I had to go over to Nick's house to take care of him cuz he was in major pain. And tomorrow I have to go to an officer's meeting when I was supposed to go to Savon's during lunch and pick up medicine for my brother.

Nick I had to take care of cuz he was in pain and he's my cousin and there was no one else to do it. Mark? Well god damn, my mom can take care of Nick but I have to take care of Mark. THIS IS NOT MY JOB. *ugh* Where the f*** is my dad in all of this. (I'm not cussing so peilin can access this page under parental controls) Um, yes. Life is weird. And now I have to find a way to get to Savon. Maybe I can ditch Tech Staff.

*sighs* El Vaquero is censoring me.

I feel like wretching in disgust at that thought.

This are getting increasingly complicated, and it's only SEPTEMBER.

The political intrigues of high school. Who would've thunk.

---Saturday, Sept. 21st---

dude, someone beat my SAT score at ACI and my mom got all mad. Mark says she's on her period cuz she saw wrappers in the wastebasket or something. Well that would definitely explain a couple of things.

Something very bad happened. I'm not quite sure what yet. This is not good. Well, it could be good but it's not.

So...to deviate back to a tactic i used in late June:

Fill in the Blank: (IM me for answers and i will give them to you if you are desperate to know).
Here's the deal. For the longest time I wanted a _________. Just a trifle, trivial, typical adolescent thing. But lately, things have gotten out of hand. First off, these two ________ are _________ _________ that they have a _______ ____ _______. And then these other two don't seem to have the ability to leave me alone. So I've come to the conclusion that I am a cold and heartless insensitive bitch.

Wait, there's more. On top of all that, there are finally three adequate _______ out there who just might ________ ____ ________ standards. Except one _____ a gazzillion _______ ____. Another isn't that bad, but it's still completely ________. And the other...let's just say ____ ___ ______ ___ _____.

My mom is being REALLY mean. Ugh. *groans* What a ruckus.

Miss America stinkers.

---Friday, Sept. 20th---

Ugh I did schooling for 13.5 hours today...5 tests... And I get more tomorrow at ACI. Hooray.

Done with driver's education! Hooray!

Icky, my brother just entered that stage where you think you're the center of the universe? Not good. It's a stage I sometimes think I haven't quite gotten over.

Tung is right, the whole world is out to get me. jk.

Collin's DVD of San to Chihirio Kama-whatever works in 5 minute spurts. Does anyone know how to find a crack for PowerDVD? I tried but then he said there wasn't a register problem on the sample program...which is really devious of them.

Daniel is Clark Kent!

For the bored and musically kung-fuish people out there

I'm just ruminating, I guess.

I think I ask for too much and give too little.

Join Amnesty International you guys! Cmon! Spam the President!

Ugh ACI.

More thoughts later, I guess. Was I jumpy today.

---Wednesday, Sept. 18th---

It is official. Sleep is now my favorite hobby.

I was at school for 11 hours today. You call it devotion, I call it stress.

All the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and entrances and one man in his time plays many parts...

I'm being typecast or something.

*works ass off*

Working my ass
Mouthful of grass
Shouting with sass
Not like I'm crass
Work like a sparrow
Fly like the wind
Say burning words
You'll never rescind
Keep your head high
You'll never fly far
A few eons slow
The life of a star

---Tuesday, Sept. 17th---

I was looking over pictures from ROC...and I've decided I hate my acne and my "hacker's tan" (radiation tanning from the monitor) and my extra blub. Ew ugh yuck I should join cross country and wear makeup.

*arrogant standards fly out the window*

I am sooo not photogenic. I mean, i used to be. Now i'm like...ugh.

Hmm. That's shallow.

I realized something at ROTC. I'll be okay. I might not make it into Columbia, I might not get a 1600, but I'll be okay. Things will never suck so horribly that I run out of hope. =P

to do: prelab for ap bio, paragraph for ap eng, article to bansari, study for ap bio quiz, do spanish cuaderno and precal homework, check my graduation requirements (i stupidly did not do this earlier), make AI flyers, write letter of protest about school bathrooms, register my club with AI, mail my CHOC walk registration, make an AI poster, go to the bookstore and buy my ap art report novel, buy markers and a yardstick...

And you may ask, "what is she still doing online?"

You ask too many questions. *rushes off to do work*

---Sunday, September 15th 2002---

Wow, I just got back from CASC Regional Officer's Training Camp. I'm a little worse for wear because I spent the night in an LA Unified School District 5th grade classroom, but I feel like I'm a few years older than when I was on Friday.

Which is generally a good thing.

It's amazing to meet people from different cities and learn about their lives and just...well it's remarkable. It's so humbling to see how bubbled up Irvine is. Irvine is just this cruel little bubble. And the cool thing is people are generally accepting. I mean, patience runs short and personal prejudices prevail, but for the most part people do a pretty good job at least PRETENDING they are bias-free.

CASC has been an interesting little journey for me because every time I come back from one of the little leadership camp thingies I feel like a better, more competent, more capable person. And it's not like Hitler youth or anything, it's just simple things like "this is how you make good first impressions" and "this is how you maintain grace under fire" and "this is a way you can organize your thoughts" and "this is how you express yourself without being majorly obtrusive." And these things are run by people my age or people just a little bit older than me...and they're like these (at least they appear to be) eloquent and mature people who are able to command this amazing respect.

It's that empowering feeling you get when you see ordinary people do extraordinary things and you think: "If they can do it; why can't I?"

Getting away from home just helps me reflect on problems a bit better. So I did some of that crapaholic soul searching stuff. Very enlightening.

*cough* still coughing! *cough*

Don't have SEX have REGION X!
(i coined that! i'm special!)

---Friday, the 13th---

Why Minna is not anywhere near being in the Domain or Range of PreCalc
Jacob: So the range is...
Minna: In multiples of one?

(I really need to stop thinking aloud in class)

Do it for Bobby? =)

We won! Ass kicking!

I wonder if Ms. Campbell cried when she found out Bobby died.

Once I had a dream and he was in it and we were back in leadership in the 8th grade. that was freaky.

Saw evan and ryan do flips in gym! VERY AWESOME. if anyone had told me in the 5th grade that evan the booger would be a cheerleader in high school, i'd laugh. But i'm actually quite impressed. obviously their physical finnese has not decreased. they are prime specimens of darwinization. or whatever.

I am caught in the eye of the storm.

Yes, everything revolves around me.

i'm out at ROC until 5:30 Sunday. Wish me fun! (and pray i make haste to finish my homework when I get back)

---Thursday, Sept. 12th---

*coughs*I NEED TO GET BETTER! =P I am better...there's just something stuck in my throat that ISN'T coming out, so I'm coughing away. It's probably a piece of plastic or something.

So I was thinking...maybe if I invent a gun to shoot people with, I can reverse the evil system that has set itself up so intelligence is inversely related to good looks. Do you know how shallow that makes me sound?

Well i'd better go do my homework.

(not to copy off carmelle or anything, but...)

at the moment i am:
listening to: Massive Attack - Teardrop & Dido - Here With Me (remix)
wearing: My AP Art style shirt and Levi's (i'm getting fat!)
watching: the trailer to "The Emperor's Club" which STILL looks like "Dead Poets Society."
reading: about "Igby Goes Down" a movie that sounds like a modern day Catcher in the Rye
thinking about: the biases that govern my life
wondering: why i can't be more responsible
eating: a cough drop
talking to: nobody at the moment
wanting: to fly
feeling: pensive

---Tuesday, Sept. 10th---

And I realize one of my main sources of happiness today is the fact that tomorrow is an A day, and my harder courses are on B day.

So tomorrow is the one year aniversary. I'll either be really patriotic or really nauseous.

I almost cried yesterday. I don't know why. It was 2 AM and I was studying for AP Biology and being a pathetic person in general. The dumb printer was sitting half dissected off to the side, my darling computer was silenced, and I should've been in bed recuperating with my stuffed animals, and instead I was studying AP Bio and coughing.

Being sixteen sucks. Sweet...? Heh. Bitter Sixteen am I.

*sigh* And then I was wondering why I was moody and near teary over the third day of school. Because I am supposed to be stronger than that. Childhood of nails--okay, not nails, but thumbtacks!--and you're supposed to come out tough and brittle. I guess I am. I mean, I can watch those driving school videos and visit rotten.com and not barf. I don't enjoy it, but it doesn't bother me...as much as it should. I can cut open a cat and identify the subtler means of psychological manipulation without turning into a full-fledged paranoid. I can usually hold my own ground, no storeowner or car dealer can intimidate me without putting up an effort.

I should be better I should be healthier prettier stronger faster braver smarter better best more than possible above all and beyond an achiever of great things a person who actually counts for something.

So basically what's happened is I've planted my two feet firmly into the earth and...and I've yelled at the Guy in the Sky, and the Evil Forces of Poo, Death, and other Icky Things. And I say, "You can't kill me yet, I'm not going anywhere until I can make a difference."

But it looks like I'm not going anywhere at all.

I ask too much for myself and for other people. I expect people to want the same things I want. People are just better at tolerating things. For example, a bully makes fun of a person, I wonder why the person doesn't bitchslap him. I feel like bitchslapping the bully for her. But if she doesn't care, why should I?

Why do I?

(sorry for all the tense changes. damn my rambling mind.)

*takes a swim in frivolity* Karen, he's not much of a looker, that husband of yours, but I admit Aiden Turner is a very very nice name. I also like the name Kieran. I like Celtic names. They are very hip. Maybe I should change my name to Eithne or Aisling or Kiera. Minna is so...Germanly-Chinese.

It's amazing how I can take myself so seriously one minute and then totally be like, whatever, I'll think of stupid things and blow bubbles with my butt in the bathwater!

---Monday, Sept. 9th---

And I realized...you don't need to be smart...you just need to be lucky...

n0 sn00 f0r y00: Everything Day.... you can hug, kiss, etc. send this to 10 people and somthing good will happen to you tomorrow.. if you don't send this to 10 people then you will have bad luck with kissing, hugging, everything for 18 years! You have 10 minutes, GO

jedichink8: i already have bad luck with kissing, hugging, and everything for 18 years you slimy little bastard

n0 sn00 f0r y00: not my fault

n0 sn00 f0r y00: and it can't hurt

jedichink8: i am not afraid!!!!!

Uncle got a heart attack, got bypass surgery, alledgedly okay now. I guess Nick doesn't think it's a big deal. But I guess if it was my dad I wouldn't think it was a big deal, either.

still sick.

My head hurts, but my nose isn't runny and my cough is getting better. Hate being sick.

Still the prettiest.

Too much homework. *brainfarts*

---Saturday, Sept. 7th---

UPDATE 11:15PM...

Great, my mom is sneezing now, too. I hope I didn't give my cold to her.

DAMN my lousy immune system! I feel like the Little Engine Who Couldn't.

My nose is dripping like a leaky faucet!

Bah my SAT score went down. It's gross. Okay so I was sick and taking the test in 50 degree air conditioning, but that's not excuse.

I hate going to ACI. I guess it's only because my gigantic ego hates being catagorized as remedial.

---Friday, September 6th---

Still sort of sick, but I feel better. My throat doesn't grate anymore, but my nose is stuffy. I blew my nose so many times today...I swear I was expecting my brains to shoot out of my nostrils...

OH SHIT STUPID BACK BUTTON ON THE GODDAMN OPTICAL MOUSE DAMN YOU HALF AN HOUR OF TYPING ERASED
(not like people read this anyway...)

From now on I update with my wheely mouse. DAMMIT.

My head feels like 600mmhg. Oh well.

Anyhow, school was okay. Zero period~ I was awake! Ran across school then back for AP Biology (I thought it was A day for a moment cuz I'm stupid). After a lot of notetaking (thank you mr. elliot for prepping me last year) we all bailed outside for break. I hung out with Kathy, and Alice & Henry. Gerald, too, but he just sort of stood off to the side. And Alice was like, "did you see mr. jacobs's pants?" And Kathy did her little trademark thing and was like, "yes, *hiss click*" "Bending over in my face..." And then silly Henry said something super lewd in Chinese and Alice had to slap him. And then I told Alice to slap him again for me because I'm not supposed to be hitting other people's boyfriends. Boys.

Not to sound all Mia Thermopolis and all (wink wink), but I really need to get out more. During break, somehow our social commentary on the AP Biology teacher's tight pants (Mr. Jacobs is like, what, 25? A bit too old for you two, Alice, Kathy =P...) deviated to a more serious commentary on the new foreign language teacher, who actually isn't that bad looking, but you heard that from Alice first!!! I am a mature and aesthetically negligent 16 year old teenaged girl. Really. And then Daryl wanted to know why high school girls look at older men. Maybe because high school guys are immature little uneducated people? I was just kidding with him, though. My life is too hectic...I can't waste too much time dilly-dallying in frivolity; so much of today's high school sweetheart stuff is just pure that. Nice to have, but if not, life goes on. Sometimes much smoother.

I can't wait to improve my writing skills in AP Eng Lang. (Does that sound geeky or what? Oh ew. I can't believe I just said that. *shoots self*) But really, after Harwood's pep talk...hooray! I am so revved up for writing, even if it's at 7 AM in the morning. In fact, I plan to bring my writing back up to the level I was at Freed...and then take it a skip and a hop beyond that. I want a 9!

You'd think if I really wanted a 9, I would go back to reading "Cry, the Beloved Country"

I did really well in Spanish today. (a first! but one I'm proud of!) Only cuz the game was in present participle tense, though.

I don't think I can go to the Welcome Back! dance on friday the 13th (scary) because I have ROP with CASC in Los Angeles over saturday and sunday. (why on a school weekend?! don't they know I have homework?!?!?!) I really want to go to the UNI vs. IHS football game, too. *sigh* I have missed his game the past two years, and it's like, the only chance I get to see people I know at Uni. Maybe if I claim I have to do it for journalism...but then I have to pack and do homework!

Dammit.

I'm not bitter. Just blah...why am I living again? what is the meaning of my life? Nepotism + bribery = college!

Homecoming dance is november 16th. Funny. I'll probably end up going with my best friend and her boyfriend who hates dancing and modern music, my other coupled friends who will enjoy the romantic air, two gay guys, one person who won't enjoy it, really; another person pressured to go just cuz everyone else is, a friend who hated dances but likes them now, a friend who goes for the sake of hanging out with the other friends, and another friend who is going to keep an eye on one of the other friends. And another friend who wants to go if the parents will allow. See, that totally blows the whole notion that 'homecoming' is this romantic and special event. It's just some overhyped football game, and a group of cheer or godforbid pagentry girls with plastic and cubic zirconia tiaras. Going with a guy for the sake of going is just burning down my principles. Something akin to hitting flint against stone in a firecracker factory. Okay, maybe not that bad. Funny how when things get important for other people they suddenly also become important to you.

Frivolity is to escapism as windows 98spk2 is to windows 95. Frivolity:Escapism :: Windows 98spk2:Windows95

Fridays feel good. Strange how I'm not all disillusioned yet. Oh well, it's only the second day of school, anyway.

So feck the halls with boughs of holly
And burn it to the ground
So feck the halls with boughs of holly
And take a look around...

weekend=a farty good time

---Thursday, September 5th---

I hate the 'back' button on my mouse. I accidentally click it, and then I lose all my hard work!

Something is wrong with my door. It keeps opening with no one touching it. Evily. That is just unacceptable.

September is a really long word to spell...*gets lazy*

Ah, yes, the first day of school. Today I woke up at 6 and got up at 6:25. There is a difference between waking up and getting up. Waking up is the state of knowing you are up but being unable to compell yourself to get up. Getting up is the physical torture of dumping yourself out of the warm toasty comfort of your pathogen-ladden bed.

Of course, my poor mother went through the same process in order to haul me to school. After I got there I circled around the Science building like a vulture trying to find S-10. It was like in the Bermuda Triangle or something! And then, when I *pants* finally *heavy breathing* got there?

Ugly green sign on the door.

0 period begins Friday at 7 AM sharp.

I was standing there, outside the door, gaping like a fish while Ms. Harwood typed away on her computer. She is very lucky I was not carrying any sharp and pointy objects with me.

I loitered under the asian hut (feeling like an upperclassman!) and went to journalism. I got my story, helped design a flyer (a little), and conked out in the back. There was just no way I was going to survive the entire day without sleep.

In between periods I bumped into Nick, and he was like, "I saw you sleeping" and I was like, "Dude...I have pharyngitis or something" and then he scoffed and was like, "no you don't you if you did you wouldn't be able to talk!" And then I told him to get me burgers. =P Iono if he will. Doesn't matter, he's already a pretty good cousin. And I don't think I'm healthy enough to eat a big whopping Ruby's burger, anyway. Maybe, since I'm sick, I'll lose some weight.

Hah.

In second period, I decided I really miss Senora Kustin-Mager. Senora Gonzalez seemed professional enough...but I swear I would've flatlined. I got to do this oral presentation with this really upbeat sophomore, so I guess I just rode out the class leeching off his enthusiasm.

My friends didn't know if they were going off campus or not, so I went and bought my lunch and THEN they went off campus. They are slow ho hos. Kidding. Loveya guys. But you left Daniel! And he had to eat that crap sandwich! =( Poor Daniel.

3rd period was math. Dum diddly dum. Amazingly enough, despite the fact I had to walk out of class twice and hack up huge wads of plegm, I actually understood the lesson! This is an amazing feat. I don't think you quite understand. Honors Pre Calculus! I understood the first lesson! I felt like the clouds had parted at last and the sun was streaming from the sky and I was Noah on the Ark and the birdie landed with the olive branch! And butterflies and rainbows! This is a BRAND NEW DAY! THE DAWN OF A NEW ERA, where Minna will FINALLY understand Math!!!

All of you Calculus people have permission to scoff at my stupidity. But all you others...shuddy up.

I also managed to finish the worksheet! Before a lot of people! (but I hate graphing! Graphing is for geese!)

Then I went into tech and we hung out, fixed these computers (plug 'em in) and watched the news. Apparently someone is trying to sue Saddam Hussien. I think I was sort of tipsy in Tech. I don't quite remember what I said.

Mark said one of my old middle school teachers told him today that I was a 'divine gift from heaven'. =)

Wonder what she was smoking. jk.

Junior year has begun. The toughest year of our miserable lives. Arise and face your fat...I mean, FATE bravely!

Still feel sick. Sore throats no fun. *cough cough* Dry cough. Where is the coedine syrup when you need it?

Oh yes, and for Kathy and Daniel...

Still the prettiest...

Still not King, dammit!

===Wednesday, Sept. 4th===

Last Day of SUMMER!!!

I feel like shit. Like a big fat man drop kicked me and soaked me in vinegar and ran a nail filer across the insides of my throat.

I should've taken Mark's advice. He tried to feed me this cough syrup stuff, but I hate cough syrup, so I was like...hell no. And now my throat is a viral hang out.

At least I assume it's a virus, cuz I'm on antibiotics for my acne. Either that or it's a very resistant strain of antibiotics.

I think it's cuz I wore a retainer to bed which crammed my plegm into the back of my throat and allowed it to fester. *ai yah*

It sucks to be sick on the last day of summer.

Especially when you still have summer assignments left to finish.

Yeoch.

---Tuesday, September 3rd---

Sometimes the snow comes down in June
Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon
I see the passion in your eyes
Sometimes it's all a big surprise
Cuz there was a time when all I did was wish
You'd tell me this was love
It's not the way I hoped or how I planned
But somehow it's enough

And now we're standing face to face
Isn't this world a crazy place
Just when I thought our chance had passed
You go and save the best for last

So here's the life I have to face.
Isn't this world a hateful place?
I've traveled long and tangled paths
I'm not sure how long I can last.

---Monday, September 2nd---
Labor Day

Today I realized I'm quite a demanding person. I also realized that I hurt people without meaning to. It seems harmless, and in retreospect ridiculous. I wish I had better judgement. It's dangerous to be dictated by emotions. Chemical reactions tugging me all over the place.

I also guess I am not (or believe I am not) easily offended...and I'm surprised when people are. *shrug*

I hate the dynamic of friendships sometimes, too. You can look back, and a year, two years, three, four...you were such good friends with this person. They were such an important part of your life and you swore you would never forget them...but then you forget.

I'm bad at keeping links, sometimes. I always strive for the future.

I'm a greedy little bugger.

In other news, I went to POSE today at the mainplace mall in Santa Ana and took some pretty nappy and quote Collin 'trippy' pictures.

Exaggerated Flaws, an Analysis

Airbrushed by both POSE and me, the victim

For those who are not blind yet, here is a less contrasty one than the previous airbrushed one. it's a little blurrier, too.

I realized I'm glad I'm not Britney Spears. Wouldn't it be gross to have all the world's 13 year old boys jacking off to you?

---Sunday, September 1st---

Well, school starts in 4 days. OH HELL. *headache*

Got a lot of work and a lot of play all revved up for the next few days.

Life sucks and then you die. =P

---Friday, August 30th, 2002---

I hope you don't mind that everything on this website has been moved around.  First of all, I've closed the novels page until further notice.  The art page will be completely redone when I get the time and patience to do so.  Frankly I have so much art and so little time for all that html stuff I have to do to make thumbnails.  I plan on just making plain links to the artwork.  That will come eventually.  Yeah, right.  Well, cheerio.  I'll add new stuff about myself, as well as a new questions section, in just a jiffy.  Stay tuned.

My Schedule

FALL