Okay, I figure if Shelley can have this on her site and not draw fire, then...I can have it, too.
So where oh where oh where is the ideal guy?
Why You Should Read This Article
Eh, yay. Well, if you're my friend, this is my opinion on dating and romance and all that poop. So yay.
If you're a girl, you're supposed to read and nod and go 'awww....'
If you're a guy, you're supposed to read it so you can better understand how the mind of a girl works?
Ooh! A Short Introduction!
My mom (yes, my mom) sent me this e-mail:
Who understands men?
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have
no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with
money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat
heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are
heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and
have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy
and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically
lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out as grapes and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
Men are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken and the rest are too small.
Men are like public bathroom stalls, all the good ones are taken and the rest are full of poo.
So What Exactly is the Fricken' Ideal Guy, in my book?
Okay, that I'm not sure. Well, I'm pretty sure I haven't met him yet. Or if I have, I've been too wimpy to go after him, or I chased him away, or I don't see him on a monthly basis. And sometimes a guy will ask me out, and there will be nothing wrong with him, and I'll just say no. So I must be a cold hearted bitch or something. I guess maybe I'm just not into the high school dating scene.
Excerpted from Minna's Secret Diary (oh wow, she has a diary.)
June 27th, 2002
In health, they give you a list of stuff you should look for in a mate...*rolls eyes*
Intelligence: Okay, I guess this is important. I mean, I don't want to be like, "what do you think about Israel/Palestine?" and get "I like ravioli" as an answer. I don't want to be like, "what do you think about Israel/Palestine?" and get this entire lecture on quantum physics and how it affects the economic and political and sociological components of a happy Middle Eastern country, either. So I guess the ideal guy is someone who is willing to have friendly debates with me? Someone good at math. Someone witty but not overly cynical...because I'm already cynical enough. Just so I won't get bored. Cuz yeah, the Lakers are cool and all...but if they vanished the next day I wouldn't miss them. Also, street smarts are vital. He has to know how NOT to get mugged, and be able to survive in perilous situations. And you know those smart guys who don't live up to their potential? It's a waste. I mean, sure you can talk to me about Palestine, but...why is your GPA a 2.0?
Looks: I used to be really "I don't care' about looks!". Then I sort of went boy crazy...the hormones kicked in...and I still wasn't very picky about looks, but I got into this..."wow he is good looking" stage. Now I'm just mellow. As long as he looks tidy and reasonable and smiles a lot. I mean, if he's presentable to the public, who cares if he doesn't look like Keanu Reaves. If the stuff he wears and the way he carries himself can enable him to walk into a casual job interview and snag the job, that's good enough for me.
Family: You don't get to pick your family. I used to chant this. But if his family liked me and I liked them...all the better. And if he can't get along with his family, how can he get along with me? So it's more important than I'd really like to think.
Personality: Very very very important. He can't have a farty temper. He can't shut down, either. I don't like people who just sit there and mope and don't tell you what's wrong. I'm a very frank person. When I have a problem with something, I go and inform the person, or fix the problem. I don't like people who clam up, act pissed and depressed, and don't tell you what's wrong. It reminds me of my PMS days. I figure the guy has to be good with kids, pets, and old people. Shallow guys? Well everyone is sort of shallow, but I'd like him to be empathetic and mature about it. I don't want him to be fake. I like to share opinions and feelings with people. Moral support. So it'd be nice to have someone to share that with. (awww how corny. *burns*) I like creativity, and randomness. No matter what, though, he has to be nice and have his heart in the right place. Thoughtfulness is good, too. A guy who won't go 'ew!' if I ask him to go buy a box of tampons for me? And he can't be too selfish. He has to be able to stand up for what he believes in. I don't care if he's shy. He just has to know where he stands. Also, sweet is good, but not...'fake sweet'. Just be honest.
Race: This is the thing I still have a big issue with. Because when I was younger, I was very RACE DOESN'T MATTER!!! and my mom was like, "take a look around you. if race doesn't matter, why are 85% of your friends asian?" Because Irvine is filled with Asians? Because I subconsciously make friends with Asians? I really don't know. And I've seen interracial relationships fall apart. I've had friends who don't know if they're white or asian. On the other hand, I've had friends successfully deal with being multiracial, and I've had friends who have been in very successful biracial relationships. Of course, my traditional Asian family would like me to bring home a nice Chinese boy. But then my mom said that Korean, Japanese, and Taiwanese men are more traditionally sexist than other Asian men, but the odds of a FOB hitting on an ABC like me are rare to begin with...and this is a NEW generation, so how do I know. All I know is I'm trying to be as open-minded as possible. If I was in Taiwan I'd grow up and marry a Taiwanese guy and be a submissive Taiwanese woman like this one cousin of mine who thinks she'll be fine as long as she marries rich. But I'm in America, and everything's different. Different races would complicate things, but as long as the guy is a good guy, then...whatever.
Age: Within 1.5 years would be nice. Any more and I'd be pushing the envelope. I don't see myself dating a sophomore or anything. I think maturity is important, as long as the person also knows how to have fun.
Money: Well, richness doesn't matter, as long as the guy works hard and will be successful and self reliant. I don't like rich guys who milk money from daddy. I don't like flowers and teddy bears and random presents. If you're paying me with stuff...well I want to be your girlfriend, not your paid mistress.
Health: Damn health class for bringing up random categories of importance, like how it is important for your boyfriend to be in good health! I was going to say that health didn't matter. Cuz a little asthma or acne...no big deal. But then I wrote that Earth is Full story, and I realized...I don't want a boyfriend with AIDS. Sorry. I don't really want a boyfriend with crabs, either. And it'd be depressing to have a boyfriend with cancer. I like guys who don't smoke, don't do drugs, etc. I don't like guys who race cars to show off. Guys who look at porn? Well, sure masturbation is healthy. Just don't describe it in front of me, or make it a habit. Guys who sell bootleg porn...no good. And don't get me started on how Playboy magazine is an insult to women.
Oh yeah: And then there's this whole thing about how I like you, you like me, you ask me out, or I ask you out, and I say yes, and you don't try to cop a feel, and we hang out and become buddies and stuff like that, and my parents don't hate you, and we both don't flunk out, and you don't get me pregnant and run away. High School dating is SOOO frivolous.
One word: Respect
Any exceptions?
Yeah.
Dumb guy over the mean guy. Poor guy over the mean guy. Wimpy guy over the mean guy. Ugly guy over the mean guy. Any guy over the mean guy.
Stupid guy over the lazy guy. Poor guy over the lazy guy. Wimpy guy over the lazy guy. Ugly guy over the mean guy. Any guy over the lazy guy.
Stupid guy over the sexist guy. Poor guy over the sexist guy. Wimpy guy over the sexist guy. Ugly guy over the mean guy. Any guy over the sexist guy.
The problem is nobody's perfect. So this is probably all bull.
Am I being too picky?
well, I don't have a boyfriend right now. I've never had a boyfriend. So you tell me.