Feedback on How Do I get There

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....that fic was adorable Jami :) i loved it. And i liked how you made an "odd couple" but showed that it really wasn't all that odd. ~lol~ Very awesome :)

And way to dress Jeff half-naked. ~lol~ Wouldn't be a fic by you if he wasn't...~lol~ Tasha

That was cute, but there's more right? I really like this pairing. Bubba is too cute, and him and Trish would make a cute couple. Please write more on this.
Michele.

I like this pair. Cool story Jami.
Colleen

That was nice I liked that one. For some reason I think Buh Buh and Trish
make a good couple :)
Carrie



Feedback on Angelic Beginnings 20

This is getting really cool! More please!!
Rakie

Angelic beginnings chapter 22
FEEDBACK TIME! :) i loved Chapter 22, because of JayLynn's lovely:

<< "You do realize that you are in the women's locker room?" she asked, refusing to let her eyes meet his in the mirrors reflection.

"Yeah, well, Trish isn't here, in fact, nobody is in here, so I don't have to worry about being beaten up." he joked. Jaylynn let her eyes meet his in the mirror finally, cocking one eyebrow, "Don't be so sure of that." she told him cooly. >>

That was absolutely fantastic. hee hee hee....and something i could *so* see you doing! ~lol~
Then i liked how even though Shane gave an excuse [which later turned out to not be an excuse] JayLynn didn't give in, because she really hadn't forgave him. I think it's good that she stuck to her guns, even if the result of that wasn't exactly the best. 'Cause really...that's life. i'm glad you portrayed that.

So as i've been sayin' almost every chapter [but am glad i can say it] you brought realism to the story, but you're still keeping your characters in a bit of the "fantasy world" that is the WWE ~lol~.

At the end, i also liked how she could go out to her match after she had transformed from JayLynn to Angel. i think that's what a lot of the people on both rosters have to do when they go out there every night.
i love it.
`Take Care`
-Tasha-

I love how you design characters and wrestlers. No one is better at
that than you are. And to tell you truth I don't see it too often.
More often that not the character they play is the persona used in a
story. I love this story! Please write more...soon! ~Genesis
Angelic Beginnings chapter 20
Just wanted to let you know that i'm really enjoying your fic (as usual). I'm pretty lazy with feedback but i've been reading your fics for ages and they always brighten up my day.

Keep up the great work =)

Annie

How do I get there Song Fic
awww that was nice. Trish and Bubba are quite the interesting pair. As odd as they are, they just seem to work. ~Carmie

this is really good. i liked it alot. i want to read more of this.
rosalinda
That was nice I liked that one. For some reason I think Buh Buh and Trish make a good couple :) What do you all think?

Carrie
That's sweet!!! A very odd pairing... but sweet none the less... ~Christie
Angelic Beginnings chapter 21

Awwww ... there you go Mr. Judgemental Hardy!!!!! I love this
story .. wan' some more!!!! I hope she makes one hell of an
impression on her first ppv ..

Luvs

Nikki

Angelic Beginnings Chapter 24

Luv the story can't wait for the new story!! :)

Carrie
I love this story and would really like to read the next saga.
Please write more, I can't get enough of your story!

Allison

General Feedback
I've read all the stories that you've posted on fanfiction.net and
I've become a huge fan of yours. ~hexcat

thank u for being so damn talented and riteing this fab fic. i love it and im very hooked. PLZ rite more im a massive fan of the wwe and im GOING to be a wrestler on day( ihope very soon!) u r so invited when i get there!!!! ~ Lauren

Not So Angelic
Chapter 19 feedback
Hi Jami Lynn,

Just wanted to say that I enjoyed reading this chapter of "Not So
Angelic". I wonder how long the relationship between Shane McMahon
and Jaylynn will last, while he is very caring and protective towards
her, he is also controlling and domineering. Jaylynn seems like a
fiery independent soul, so I don't know how long she will put up with
this for. At least she stopped poor "Hurricane" Shane Helms (calling
him this so I'm not confusing him with the other Shane) from being
chewed out by Shane O'Mac. Shane Helms though has a chip on his
shoulder that needs to be removed. As for Jeff, he in acting like an
immature littly pratty arsehole towards Jaylynn, one gets the urge to
want to give him a good clip around the ear, lol.

I look forward to reading further chapters of this story as you post
them to the messageboard of the group.

By the way, I voted in the poll on your website.

Regards,

Carolyn

Chapter 26:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *points at the screen and screams again!* NoOoOoOoOoO!!!! They're in league!!!!! Him! Shane! Alliance!! Shane testing Jami with Jeff!!! *points and screams!*

i read the chapter and at the end i was all like: "Awww....Jeff's at least trying to be semi-grown up about it" but then AHHHHHHHHH!!! *pointz and screams* No!! NO! BAD JEFF!!! BAD!!!!! and BAD SHANE!! ...McMahon... BAD!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Anyways, ont JayLynn. THANK YOU. i mean she admitted Jeff was hot [haha....i'd like to see someone deny it and keep a straight face without DROOLING ....sorry....heh heh....still smartin' over his appearance on RAW...what is with me and semi-gothic men? *shrugz*] Anyways. i'm glad she admitted he was hot but still stood her ground and explained [truthfully and with all right] that he was bein' a jerk and he still wouldn't have a chance 'cause ...yeah he was bein' cruel and mean and judgemental and just...an overall ass.

Then i also like how she didn't reject his apology/offer, yet she didn't say yes either, and still stood her ground about him leaving. She was also honest with why she wouldn't be with him and was mature in how she said it. That i liked. And i was all like: "YaY! Maybe now they can be friends :)" ....then Jeff had to all go and wander down to Shane's office... *snarls* ....STUPID THEM!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

If they really are in league and are just tryin' to test JayLynn...oh haha....they'd better expect Kali to test them one...WITH A GIANT SHOE BEATING! *finds my giant beating shoe*

`Take Care`
-Tasha-


Chapter 35:
Awwwwwwwwwwww....like i said before...ADORABLE!!! :)

i liked that chapter, how JayLynn kept her composure while i at the party, but when she knew she was clear she let down the facade and took some time to be by herself. And the thoughts you showed running through her mind were really good and also i believe, really realistic.

Then at the end when Shane was still standing there waiting for her, that wa so sweet and showed he really cared. Also, the fact that JayLynn let down her guard to him and let herself cry and let herself show him how she felt...that takes a lot of couragebut also shows she honestly trusts him like she may not trust many others.

Very good chapter and it showed a lot of deep emotion between the characters. Very nice.

`Take Care`
-Tasha-

Chapter 36:
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....heh heh heh...that was adorable Jami!! :)

It really showed how much Shane cared about JayLynn, but also vice versa. If JayLynn didn't honestly believe she loved Shane, then she wouldn't worry about those things; those thoughts wouldn't bother her. With the way you wrote that it showed JayLynn really does care, and though the same perspective wasn't taken from Shane, what he said implied he felt just like JayLynn did. Awww...and it was so cute too! :)

And about the moving in, i'm glad she's decided to keep her place too...though it wasn't said it's always good to have a "just in case" plan ready. *shrugz* And that my friend, is how we know i'm not a bleeding-heart romantic... LoL!

That chapter was very nice and gave a lil' more emotional depth to the characters as well as the story. :) Congratz. NOW WHO IS THE STALKER?! LoL

And i just wanna point out that this story has now moved from JayLynn choosing between the Shane's to JayLynn being with Shane M. and now just worryin' about the stalker, or at least it has in the past few chapters. i think it's kind of cool, because it shows how an event can put what seem like huge problems, into perspective...ya know?

Awesomeness...i'm lovin' this Jami! :)

`Take Care`
-Tasha-
 

Chapter 2:
Kill him. Maybe maim and then kill him, but kill him. Or let me. Killing people may help me not be so mean to Shannon. ~lol~ Can i kill him? Huh? Can i? Please? You know you want to let me kill him........... ~lol~ Oh and by him i do mean Shane M. hee hee... M ...thank you for puttin' that by the way or i would've gotten very, very confused. Much appreciated.

i like this story, though the endin' to Angelic Beginnings was slightly abrupt, not that i'm complaining mind you, i just thought there'd be another closing story...but i still love this one all the same. Now, back to the point of this story, KILL SHANE McMAHON!!!!! The whole sleeping together, that's fine, their adults, that's their choices, whatever, it was the purposely bein' suggestive comments afterwards in the bar that should get him smacked around BY ME! i'll KILL HIM!!!

Hmm...mono must make people violent...~lol~

Anyways, onto other aspects of the story, i get why JayLynn's feelin' guilty, 'cause she's basically suffering from deja vu at this point, but the last sentence/paragrph of the second chapter where Shane H's lookin' at him evilly, is it 'cause he always does, or 'cause he saw that? 'Cause really....that's gonna kill me with curiosity...just kill me i tell ya.

i should probably stop sayin' the word kill ...i really should... back to the feedback...

MUAHA!!!!! i predicted this when he came into the bar in the first story! MUAHA! i feel smart 'causei finally guessed something right!! YeS!!! :) i feel so horribly special...heh heh. And now i'll KILL HIM!!!! Ugh....the ....CREATON!!!!!!! Ugh.....creaton.....did i mention CREATON?!? *mutterz* goddamn creaton...

i should stop sayin' creaton too...ah well...i'm sure i'll get over this, but for the time being....KILL THE CREATON!! ~lol~

`Take Care`
-Tasha-

Chapter 15:
LoL!! "i don't need counselling...i need new underwear!" LoL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man that was good. i like dthose two chapters, you *definitely* developed the story there and you showed JayLynn in a different light. She can take quite a bit before she really gets irked and even then she can still perform and be professional. Very nice, very nice indeed.

i liked the bit with Shane Helms about his computer...i would've been pissed too mind you. LoL People mess with my computer that i have here and i get pissed...if they ruined a laptop i'd advise them to get some life insurance before i got ahold of 'em.

The evasivesness of JayLynn was impressive too, how well she knew Shane M. and the precautions he'd take for her, but also how she hid, but not exactly hid it, from Shane. She played the pronoun game very well. She seems very good at covering her tracks, which, given the character's previous experience would be expected, so that's very kewl and very well implemented there.

Oh yeah, and the chapters had some great comic relief in 'em too. Comic relief is always good and practically necessary durin' serious chapters to help give the reader something else to focus on and let them be able to really feel the difference and sometimes severity of the situation. Plus i like how at the end of the two chapters it ended on a light note, but one stil related and reminding people about the main point of the chapters. Very nice combination.

All in all, and in a much abbreviated form, i loved the chapters. Some seriously good work there Jami! :)

`Take Care`
-Tasha-



Chapter 17:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *almost faints* NO!!!!!!!! Ok, it's 3:20 a.m. and i just screeched like the world's ending! LoL

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! You're damn straight JayLynn shoulda slapped Shane and i'm DAMN glad she did! And i feel so bad for her, but it's 'cause i know the truth ya know? If i were CharLee or Shane or Jeff or whoever then yeah, i'd probly believe the report to some degree because there was a picture....oh i hope Paul can fix it....

As for JayLynn kissin' Shane H and bein' with Shane M... well in her defense she *did* say it was a mistake, but from Shane's point of view it was something she should've stopped. I mean it could go either way there....but awwwww...the poor both of 'em!

i hope that things get worked out! i know i have three more chapters sitting here too so i'm gonna read what happens, but i'm sendin' chapter by chapter feedback so it all works and you get my initial reactions 'cause i'm sure that's what you're looking for.

Don't you dare scrap this chapter, especially the part at the end, the argument between Shane and JayLynn 'cause that dialogue and reaction and stuff was *great*!

~Tasha~

Chapter 18:
LoL!! That was so cute!
<<Andrew Martin answered the door, looking down at her with a confused expression on his face. "Is Shane McMahon here?" she asked. Andrew laughed but stopped when he saw the expression on her face, "Oh, you were serious. No, he's not. He did come by and ask whre Helms' was though." >> Hehehehehehehe!!!!

Poor JayLynn's gonna wear out her shoes with all the running she's doin', but i like it. People would not confuse this JayLynn with Jami of the Step Series, because instead of running away from her problems she's runnin' *to* them in hopes of solving things. Unfortunately Shane M feels the need to chew out Shane H though [ <http://graphics.hotmail.com/emcrook.gif> ] which won't help anything...

And i liked how you have JayLynn and Stephanie getting along, you have her protrayed as much of a normal person as the rest of them...just as much as people say Jeff and Matt are. You do have the McMahon children accustomed to things that it takes money to get and be accustomed to, but that's realistic given their family, so i like that. Again with the realism...but EEEEK with the impending, possibly volatile situation JayLynn's runnin' to try and defuse...

Hope she gets there in time!
~Tasha~

Chapter 19:
AHHHHHH! it all makes sense...the mole would have to be from the inside to learn about things like that! But who could it be? Well...Jeff, as much as you love the guy, you're a true writer as capable of writin' him with a halo and harp as devil horns and a pitchfork. Hopefully not him though....i'd be sad. LoL

Then it could be ummmm....well Shane H. 'Cause as unlikely as it'd seem he could be an obsessive freak. Ya never know. Some people like to mess with others...it's their source of sick amusement. Same goes for Shane M.

It could be someone that hasn't be introduced yet...but that wouldn't really make sense. Well, i guess it would if you knew the WWE and it's company...you'd know of other characters. But if it was one i'd assume you'd have introduced them in some light so that even non-WWE readers could get a feel for them. *goes combing through the early chapters to see if you've introduced someone even minorly*

It could be an old guy from one of the feds JayLynn worked in out to get her for "stealing their spotlight" when she was in either of the old feds. Hmmmmmm....

i dunno....you've really got me thinkin' here Jami and i'm very impressed with the story. None of those chapters should be tossed and i like them written as is. It shows JayLynn's conflicted feelings about both Shane's, how much she's trying to earn her way in the business...but it's just her bad luck she's falling for the boss [or rather the boss's son].

i can't wait for Chapter 20 to come out so i can read and gush. i hope we find out who the dude is soon so that the characters can all give him a circle beating.

`Take Care`
-Tasha-

Chapter 20:
I like this chapter Jami. JayLynn shows some depth some people may have forgotten people have, especially WWE Superstars and then you showed Shane in a new light. Instead of bein' the spoiled brat that he was shown as before, it shows him as someone who can still udnerstand and comfort people. Now the readers have seen him with both an arrogant, bratty side that most people assume goes the whole way around, but have also seent he soft side he has and that he can be a good person. And Shane M is starting to develop a personality that people can relate to why JayLynn would date him, because sure he's got faults, but who doesn't? And readers are startin' to see that he's as human as everyone else. it's good.

Now i'm curious about this Andie person... hmmm....is she really *that* jealous?
~Tasha~

Other people's feedback:

How do I get there:
Jami,

that was absolutely fabulous!!!!!!....I love it!!!!....damn girl your writing has really developed and is really coming along fabulously.....hope to hear from you soon

Jenn *the Nash tamer*

Chapter 9:
Hi Jami Lynn,

Just wanted to say great chapter! I hope that Jaylynn doesn't pick
Shane O'Mac she would have to give up her career and everything most
probably for him, and then how long would the relationship last
before he moved on to someone else? Whereas Shane Helms is a total
sweetheart and would also treat her like a princess, but let her be
herself.

Looking forward to reading further chapters of this story as you post
them, it will stil be great with whichever Shane she ends up with.

Regards,

Carolyn

 

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Page maintained by Charity Lynn. All fan fiction stories � Jami Lynn. All wrestlers are owned by their respective organizations, mostly WWF. This site is not in any way affiliated with any wrestler and/or wrestling federation or promotion. All stories on this site are fiction. Any similarities to real events are purely coincidental.