The history, details, info, facts, weather etc for the JAM 1999.
29th April 1999. Day 1. Not so longest drive. Jamie pulls one out for a desperately needed bonus point.
Click here for the JAM 1999 Agenda
Click here or the new sticks that are gonna' see Jamie through the JAM.
Here are the rules to Black Bitch, quintessential JAM reading.
Tocumwal Golf Club .... The home of the 1999 JAM.
Online and uptodate .... Our mate Edwin Maher gives us the latest weather details from the JAM weather central.
JAM �99 sent the JAMers once again to the Murray region (notice any pattern here?). Tocumwal was the venue and - you guessed it - brown-brick accommodation. However, what set this palatial existence apart from previous brown-brick venues was the cheerful, almost too-friendly welcome from our host Mr �You�re $%#$@%# late and I had to get out of #$*&%#@ bed to let you #%$@$!@ in�. How the JAMers interpreted this was, �Sure, go right ahead and trash my place!�
Friday morning was a beautiful sunny day and the locals surrounding the first tee were pleasant and full of advice, in which none of the JAMers took any interest as we began our odyssey by spraying all four drives to differing parts of the first hole.
Abbott took on Avery on day one and Mackie challenged the bean pole from Carlton, Gibbons. Avery made a mockery of the handicapping for JAM �99, shooting 9 under his 18 shots on Abbott. Avery�s immaculate 96 off the stick earned him 14.5 points, while Abbott - who managed an 89 off the stick, blazing a 6 over 42 for the back nine - picked up a paltry 4.5 points which included one point for longest drive. The mutterings of no @#$@#$ justice could be heard from miles away. Mackie and Gibbons took it to the wire on day one, with the victor Gibbons beating Mackie 10 points to 9. Mackie�s 98 off the stick was even more remarkable considering he had 42, yes, 42 putts.
Day two saw Gibbons take on overnight bolter Avery, while Abbott tackled the putting machine, Sam �Oh my� Mackie. A rather benign day once again; blue sky and light breezes. The competition was tight on day two as only one point separated the four on the day. Abbott succeeded over Mackie by one while Avery accounted for Gibbons by the same margin. The overall standings were still ugly from the Abbott point of view due to the belting he had suffered the day before. Avery had a five-point lead over Gibbons and Mackie, who both had a further five-point lead over the still-bleating Abbott.
Day three of JAM �99 was much like the previous two weather-wise; so, for that matter, was the golf! Abbott took on Gibbons, and Mackie was out to stop burglar Avery from being the first back to back JAMer. Abbott accounted for Gibbons�s 12 points to 9, while Avery staved off a gallant effort by Mackie to beat him by one - 9.5 to 8.5 - thereby declaring Avery the winner and back to back JAM victor. The rest of us couldn�t have cared less; in fact we walked back to the hotel, threw firecrackers at Mic, loaded up the car and left. Not before exacting revenge on the accommodation manager, Mister Congeniality. You see, checkout was meant to be before our round not after it, and due to the fact that he was full and we were on the course, people looking for rooms had had to be turned away. By the time we got back from golf, he had missed out on two groups of four, Tee Hee. For the record, Avery won with 34.5 points, Gibbons 28.5, Mackie 28 and Abbott last yet again with 26 points. Highlight of JAM �99 was the stunt leap conducted by Mackie and buggy from the men�s to the ladies� tee, a drop of some five feet. All are recovering well.
See you in 2000 when the JAM heads north to the enchanting Gold Coast.
And of course their name emblazoned on the perpetual JAM trophy....If that lazy prick ABBOTT ever gets off his ass and delivers ^&)(*^%$#!!!
