Irina�s Fan Fiction Boot Camp

Note: This is just my opinion about what it takes to make a good fic. Don't be offended if you don't agree, and if you do, email me and tell me why. I'd love to hear your thoughts. This isn't targeted at anyone. And don't worry, I've made half these mistakes.

1. Consistency

Ex: Jack looked stricken. He didn't expect this from Jen. The dark haired boy raised his head to take one more look at his so-called best friend.

More then once I have read a fic where the author jumps from one name of a character to another one. Where did a dark-haired boy come from? He wasn't there in the beginning. So there are three people there now? I understand that you don't want to seem repetitive saying Jack this and Jack that, but by switching between different names you confuse the reader. It's much better to stay consistent to the character's name.

Correct Version: Jack looked stricken. He didn�t expect this from Jen. He raised his head to take another look at his so-called best friend


2. Overabundance of Emotion

Ex: He�s going to leave me! He really is going to leave me! I wailed to myself.

Somehow people got the idea that it�s okay to make every feeling seem larger than life.  That just doesn�t happen in the real world. Have you ever seen someone wail? Chances are you haven�t. It�s a rather pitiful sound made usually when someone dies or something unshakable has happened. Hate to burst someone�s bubble, but someone dumping you is not life shattering. Not for you, not for your characters.

Correct Version: He�s going to leave me! He actually is going to leave me! I silently screamed in protest.


3. Exaggeration.

Ex: Pacey was surprised by Jack�s nine inch erection.

Another popular exaggeration is the size. We all know what I�m talking about.
There�s a fine line between fan fiction with sex in it and living out your dreams. Nine inches seem to cross that line for me. Does anyone honestly think that a human would enjoy anything that�s nine inches long in his or her body? Those gasps would be of pain, not pleasure.   

Correct Version: Pacey was surprised by Jack�s six inch erection.


4. A) Empty words.

Ex: He looked very beautiful this morning.

Some words should be erased from the face of the planet. As opposed to other mornings when he looked ugly? Here�s a list of words that I never want to see as part of description again: beautiful, great, good, fine, nice, very, really, etc. It�s rather limited, but that�s only because I don�t want to e-mail my English teacher during the summer.

Correct Version: His shy and quiet looks took my breath away.

B) Stating the Obvious

Ex: He screamed loudly.

Sometimes people use unneeded words. It�s a common mistake among writers. Experienced and inexperienced alike. Does he usually scream quietly? If someone can show me how to scream quietly, I�ll do something really wonderful for them.

Correct Version: His screams echoed off the walls of the building.


5. The Golden Rule

Ex: He was tall.

The Golden Rule of writing is, �Show, don�t tell.� It�s common knowledge most people avoid it like the plague. It doesn�t bite people, honest. The example is so dull. If you want to keep reader coming for more, you�ve got to spice it up. Show just how tall he was. Kind of like those �yo mama� jokes.

Correct Version: He was so tall his head touched the ceiling.


6. The �I love you� Syndrome

More then once I read a story where in a feeble attempt at romanticism, they over use �I love you.� Got to tell you, if you use it more then two times per story, you know you�re in trouble. �I love you� is meant as a reminder of feelings for each other. It�s a very special phrase meant for a special situation. If you abuse it, it won�t be special anymore.  Whether it�s friends or lovers, is not a big difference. Most people don�t say it every week, much less every hour. The key is to make the story as realistic as possible, and if you�re over using the �I love you,� it�s not going to sound very realistic.


7. Crying

Ex:
Jack stood in the middle of the quad, tears streaming down his cheeks.

�Jen! Jen, you won�t believe what happened! Tobey broke up with me. No, no,� he wailed.

Guys don�t cry in the mall. They don�t make a scene. They�re not pregnant and they�re not on hormones. I don�t have anything against Jack breaking down in Tobey�s arms and crying his heart out, but a big teary speech in the quad of his new school with all his teachers and peers around is a little too much. Think about all that Jack has gone through, yet he�s only cried a couple of times. He�s not Joey.

Correct Version: �Jen, we need to talk in private,� Jack said softly. Jen could tell by his glistening eyes that something had happened.


8. Indenting Conversations

Ex: �Jen, we need to talk,� Jack said. �What about?� �The usual.� �Oh�� Jen exclaimed.

Okay, who�s speaking here? It�s Jack. Wait, no,it�s Jen. No, wait� I�m confused! Every time a new person speaks, you�re supposed to indent, even if that character has already spoken. And if don�t, it becomes very confusing.

Correct Version:

�Jen, we need to talk,� Jack said.

�What about?�

�The usual.�

�Oh�� Jen exclaimed.


9. Script Format

Ex:

Jen (defensively): Why?

Jack: Because I said so.

Unless you�re a really good writer (like Steph and Anthony), you won�t be able to pull it off. Script format restricts a lot of action, emotion, thought, and description so you have to be able to capture it in dialogue. And you don't have the pleasure of actors to act it out with facial expression. Instead, why don�t you make a short movie script and post it online and we�ll give you a Snowflake Award for it. :)

Correct Version:

Jen put her hands on her hips and looked at him sharply. She was not happy with his decision. It felt like he was making them for her.

�Why?� she asked, defensively.

�Because I said so,� Jack replied. What a jerk, Jen thought. This is what I get for being his friend.


10. Use of Lyrics

Isn�t it convenient when Jack is having a love scene and a song pops up on the radio, magically saving Jack all his dialogue by expressing all his feelings? Or some car is passing by, playing a song that captures everything he�s feeling? Let�s not make our work easier. We do this for fun, not because we�re forced. Using a song or quotes to set up the mood is okay, but not when your story revolves around the song, which most of us have probably never heard or don�t like. And if you�re going to use a song, use a band that character might listen to. Jack would probably never listen to Nine Inch Nails no matter how depressed he is. If you must, use REM�s �Everybody Hurts Sometimes.�


11.  Wanna, gonna, U

Ex: �My gawd!� Jack exclaimed. I can�t believe she did that. Even i wouldn�t do that. I wanna get out of here. �U can�t be serious.�

So you went through the trouble of writing a fic, and maybe it�s good, so wouldn�t it make sense to spell correctly? �Wanna� and �gonna� are not words. You can use them in dialogue because a character may speak that kind of dialect. But in description, they are �want to� and "going to.� And why stop there? "U" is okay for IMs, but in fic, please spell it �you.� You don�t have low self-esteem, capitalize �I.� It doesn�t matter if you�re religious or not, �God� is not �gawd,� not even in dialogue. Plus, it�s disrespectful to some people not to capitalize �God.�

Correct Version: �My God!� Jack exclaimed. I can�t believe she did that. Even I wouldn�t do that. I want to get out of here. �You can�t be serious.�


12. Convenience

Ex: Jack has a crush on Pacey. Had it for two years now. Suddenly, Pacey is gay and feels the same way too, even though he just slept with Joey. Go Jack!

This is a BIG one. Not nine inches big, but big. Just because Jack is an above average hot guy, doesn�t mean every guy within a five-mile radius turns gay when they see him. To make a story good, you have to have conflict. It�s not supposed to be easy for the character to get what he wants. Put them through some turmoil. It�s not as easy as 1-2-3 for someone, especially someone with a rep like Pacey�s, to come out of his proverbial closet. The goal of fanfic is to make the characters and story as realistic and three dimensional as possible. When was the last time someone you had a crush on said they felt the same way about you? Yeah, high school sucks. But I'm not ruling out UC fic.

Correct Version:

1. Jack has a crush on Pacey. Had it for two years now. When Pacey finds out about it, he gently lets Jack know his feelings for him are purely platonic. Jack is heart broken, but a couple of months later he meets a new guy.

2. If you�re set on writing a Jack/Pacey fic, Pacey needs times to develop feelings for Jack through friendship and bonding moments. He also needs time to question his sexuality because these things don�t happen over night. Let him be Joey for a little while by letting him �find� himself.