Here are the 50 ways to be a certified brainless 4SC2005 Stude...
01. First of all, dapat ,sanay kang mag-coffee.. dahil kung hindi, bahala ka dah!!!
02. Dalagan dayon ka sa room kung makita nimo ang guard may dala nga martilyo.
03. Kung gihampak na sang guard ang gasul, take your time pakadto sa room. Late na bitaw ka.
04. Kung ayaw mo makinig sa Filipino class, hulam anay pocketbook kay Prongs.
05. Kung hindi ka, tupad kamo ni JR kay tudluan ka nya magbeatbox.
06. Hindi na magworry if nagawalk-out teachers mo. Magbalik lang na sila.
07. Kung maghibi ang teacher mo, hibi ka man para �concern� daw kunuhay.
08. Kung crush mo si sir Ayroso, dapat pacute ka.
09. Kung si sir Bacus, dapat FC ka.
10. Kung si sir Gori gusto mo, burawa sya!
11. Naga-count sang OK ni sir.
12. Hindi gid magpakita sang intermediate paper kay makahinumdum magquiz ang teachers.
13. Kung may quiz pagkabwas, sabot na kamo nga hindi gid iremind si maam.
14. Kung nakahinumdum sya, silinga tapos na kamo quiz.
15. Prepare piso pambakal papeeeel para sa surprise quiz.
16. Kung ma-gwa ang teacher, iadjust ang wallclock para time na.
17. Pangayo leakage sa lower section kung may upcoming quiz.
18. Pag-inaantok ka, matulog ka�tupad kamo ni sweet.
19. Away subong, Peace taud-taud.
20. Kabalo ka maghimo sang bridge halin sa straw.
21. Hindi na mag-study. Tan-aw nalang teleserye, amo man na ang ilecture ni maam.
22. Pangvandal nang chalk nga gingbilin ni sir/maam.
23. Magreserve na sang karton, sako, silhig, kag dustpan kung MAPEH/CAT period na.
24. Tunga sang imo notebook puro drawing kag name ni crush.
25. Sige ka lang pamangkot sang date.
26. Kung may project kamo, hindi na magbasa sang libro. Ara na tanan sa internet kag sa Encarta.
27. Kung wala kamo mahimo, hampang kamo slipper game ni Maam Lately kag sir Pamato.
28. Hindi dapat maglimpyo sa classroom para sa gym kamo magklase.
29. Kung Kleners kamo pagkabwas, hampang nalang ka sang volleyball.
30. Kung nahigkuan mo ang salog, singgit dayon sang �KLENERS!!�
31. Pag may prom, hindi ka dapat magsulod sa school pagkabwas.
32. Kadto dayon kamo kina Charisse para magparty. Bay-i da ang mga teachers.
33. Mag-carolling kamo pag Xmas para makaligo kamo beach.
34. Pag indi kamo palaligo, didto kamo kina maam Lately kay damo pagkaon.
35. Pag may graduation practice, didto kamo sa computer room kag maghampang TextTwist.
36. Kung may UnliCall, wag na paregister. Makitawag nalang kay Alex and Sandy.
37. Hindi gid pahkalimta nga magdala charger pirmi.
38. First come, first served sa outlet (kanang saksakan bah!)
39. Kung wala na gid space, dala ka sang extension wire.
40. Pag gutom ka, utang lang anay kay kuya Jazz kay damo sya kwarta.
41. Kung may dos ka, bakal ka nalang puto ni Cygee. Busog pa ka.
42. Kung gusto magpahula, kadto ka lang ky madam Gang-gang.
43. Dapat memorize mo ang mga bday celebarators para damo ka makaunan.
44. Kung biyernes dapat may dyes ka kay Tephin kamo magsnacks. Para sosyal.
45. Kung wala ka kwarta, mangutang ka anay o hambala nga busog ka pa.
46. Pagkatapos klase,lakat lang kamo pakadto palengke para magsakay tricycle. bisan sa likod lang sa school balay nyo.
47. Kung magpuli na, dapat may singko ka pambakal sago kag fishballs.
48. Kung gusto mo maging singer, patudlo ka kay Babes kag Keren.
49. Dapat memorize mo ang 4SC hymn and theme song.
50. Pag 4SC ka, dapat tarantadong talentado ka, pasaway, wala buot, baga�g nawong, pacute at magalang.
We have to accept the fact nga tiguwang na jud tah. Yes, college na kunuhay. But then,
bisag wa si nanay nga magpaligo and maghatud sa school, naa ra gihapo�y �ten commandments�, in order for you
to receive the distinction of �Huwarang Estudyante�, or let�s make it �Buangang Istupidyante�.
01. DO NOT PAY YOUR TUITION FEES. Who cares? It�ll be absolutely better if you take your money somewhere else where it would be put to good use. Say, the nearest mall or some hubo-hubo bars out there (char lang!). Hello!? Who says paying your school is indeed worth it? You pay just to suffer nga mapaulawan sa imohang professor? You pay to sleep in a hot classroom? May hotel! You pay just to have your heads crack because of solving x�s and y�s? Hello? Be practical. Anyway, wala man japon pulos ang imong gibayad kay mabagsak ra gihapon ka.
02. DO NOT WEAR YOUR ID. An ID is supposed to be kept in a bag or your pocket. Why would you want to display your ugly face to thousands of students? Buti kung cute ka! If your professor shouts at you for not wearing your ID, tell him loud and clear: �TALK TO MY LAWYER�.
03. DO NOT COME TO CLASS ON TIME. Remember what grandmother used to say? Take at least 8 hours of sleep daily. �At least� ha! So, pwedeng 9, 10, or even 11 hours! It won�t hurt to come in not so late. Kung nag-quiz, jackpot ka. Di mo na kailangang makikipagshare sa mga amazing minds sa class. It�ll be the same anyway if you came in early. Zero ka pa rin. Take your time boy�
04. DO NOT BRING A PEN. Panghulam sa imong katapad nga brayt. Basig naa�y powers sa iyang ka-brayt sa bolpen. Pwede sad ka magshagit: �Ma�am! Naa ka�y bolpen? Kanang Pilot!?�
05. WHEN TAKING AN EXAMINTATION:
a. Sit right at the back, where the nerds, geniuses and smarties sit. You�ll definitely be the only rose among the thorns. Or the other way around. The only thorn among the roses. You�re just there to have a share of what the useless and dwarfish president of this nation has entrusted on them: their air-filled brains.
b. Take the test booklet home. Para may remembrance ka. Tapos tell your professor na you�re pretty sure na pinasa mo ang booklet mo. Cry to him on your knees. Baka maawa or mainlove sa�yo. Baka lang ha�
06. DO NOT SHOW UP TO YOUR CLASS FOR A WEEK OR SO. Bakit kamo? I�m sure mamimiss ka ng beloved professor mo at syempre your ever-supportive classmates. Pero they may also be thankful that you�re not around, and they�re probably wishing that you�ve been hit by the good ol� lata, este school bus. Pero think positively, you won�t die. When you come back to class, your professor will give you your classcard with a big, red circle on �Dropped�. Shout to the top of your lungs: �YEEESSSS!!!� As if you�re celebrating the greatest victory of your life. Chuva�
07. DO NOT GO TO THE LIBRARY. This is for your own good. You�ll get sinusitis from sniffing the centuries-old dust from the books. Concerned lang po. Mark the library as off-limits.
08. THROW LITTER ANYWHERE. If you have paid your tuition. But even not. Para may trabaho lang ang mga janitor.
09. WHEN REPORTING IN CLASS, READ EVERYTHING in your 15000 page book, and your done reporting. You�ll have your classmates and professor sleeping. Excellent report!
10. WHEN PREPARING FOR A TERM PAPER, surf the net, copy tapos paste, print agad. Just an exhibition of Filipino ingenuity. Being resourceful.
SINGKO. Ang pinakarahadlukan nga word sa whole wild world. Yet to some people out there,
they may be happier. Merong mga may topak na sumisigaw: �Yahoo! Summer na sad!� Gaga! Hindi mo ba lam kung
gaano kahirap ang dinanas nina mother deer and father deer mo para mapag-aral ka sa kolehiyo? Para hindi ka
nila makita sa bahay ng isang taon? Para wala silang sisigawan kada umaga? The countless na butil ng pawis
na tumulo sa sinabaw, hindi makakatapat dun ang iyong mga kabalastugan sa school. Kung ano man ang nasabi
ko, intindihin n�yo nalang, di ko maintindihan ehh..
San na nga ba ako? Kaw abi. Sige wakal. Lumalaway ang iyong talsik! Nga pala, here some
ways para pampalubag-loob pag may nakita kang malaking bilog sa �5.0� sa classcard mo:
REJOICE! Ngano man? Hello!! Getting a big circle on the �5.0� mark on your cards a once or twice or thrice or four times in a lifetime achievement! Dapat mag-celebrate! Isang semester mong tinulugan at tinakasan ang professor mo, congratulations! Unbelievable! But true!
REJOICE! (ulit!) Fact: Mas mataas pa ang grado mokaysa sa ibang students dyan na parang hindi tao. Sila may �1.0�, ikaw, �5.0�. Oh, divah!?! Mas mataas! Pwede ka na agad mangolekta ng mga �5.0� classcards tapos himuon baraha o teks teks. Wla gid sang may mabato sa imu. Puros nga daan singko.
PAENROL SA SUMMER CLASS. Tapos, tulog uli! So that you�ll have more �5.0� classcards, more reasons to rejoice! Afterwards, pwede ka nang i-dismiss ng college mo! Oh, diba, di mo na kailangang itake uli ang subject! You�re saved!
CRY! Para ano? Para maging instant celebrity ka sa university. Baka may talent scout sa tabi-tabi at kunin kang tagaiyak sa funeraria. Instant career! Di mo na kailangang iretake ang subject mo! To maximize the cry-cry effect, try to get �5.0s� in all your subjects. I-plus dayon. Para mayaman ka. Damu singko.
JUMP FROM THE ROOFTOP OF THE TALLEST BUILDING OF YOUR UNIVERSITY. Ooops! Wait lang! Don�t get me so wrong. Sabi ko, jump lang. �yun lang! di ko sinabing jump to the ground floor ehh� Jump and jump lang. Organize a rooftop party for fellow summerians and jump and jump for joy. Try to invite the �Mantasan Five� (The top five professors who simply love giving out 5.0s for free), for them to feel how grateful you are for their understanding of your showbiz and academic and sleeping careers. este aral dito.
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