Season Five

Season Five Season Five

Second Opinion

"I'm thinking the bartender may have an M.D. next to his name."

"Two kinds of women in this world: Those who have breast cancer and those who are scared to death of getting it. Articles you skip on the way to the sports page, I cut out and keep in a drawer next to my bed."

Logan: "I'd have the operation anyway."
Van Buren: "Oh really? You got anything you'd think twice about cutting off?"

Coma

"So he gets away with murder because he's a wife-beater?"

Blue Bamboo

"We may be overworked and understaffed, but we sure do like to catch murderers, no matter who they kill."

Family Values

"Martell's told more lies than my eight-year-old."

White Rabbit

Competence

Van Buren: "He pointed a gun at me. A Raven .25."
McCoy: "The one who ran away?"
Van Buren: "No, the dead one. Then the gun spontaneously combusted."

"You know, from now on, you better knock three times on my office door. You don't, I may get antsy and blow you away."

"Were you born a wiseass or does it come with the job?"

Precious

Virtue

Scoundrels

"Forget becoming President. The real American dream is inventing the next pet rock."

Anita: "One of my husband's customers comes in the store to buy parts for an automatic toilet seat drop he's inventing."
Logan: "Did he hire Kopinsky?"
Anita: "He says it will reduce the conflict between the sexes."

"What a guy, swindling people who'd already been swindled."

"One of you have a girlfriend in a nursing home?"

House Counsel

Mike: "I say we talk to the other jurors."
Anita: "What are you going to do, look up 'anonymous juror' in the yellow pages?"

Anita: "All we've got is jury tampering in the second degree--a misdemeanor."
Lennie: "You'd think bribing a juror would carry more than a slap on the wrist."
Anita: "You're assuming somebody in Albany actually thinks for a living."

Guardian

Progeny

Rage

Performance

"The family of the year it's not."

"Look, you can play these games with you mother all you want, but you play them with me, little girl, and I cause you real trouble. Either that boy committed a crime or you did by lying about it. Somebody's going to get arrested here and I'm getting so I don't give a damn who it is!"

Seed

Wannabe

Logan: "He was an accountant."
Van Buren: "Maybe somebody didn't like where he put his decimal point."

Act of God

Privileged

"I don't like unsolved mysteries, so before we hand this over to Robert Stack...."

"We wouldn't want you to get a hernia from overwork, Mike."

Mike: "It's Anita's sense of humor."
Anita: "Lieutenant Anita to you!"

Cruel and Unusual

Bad Faith

Purple Heart

Switch

Pride

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