March
2004
March 19, 2004
Well as you can see, I'm not doing a very good job at keeping up with this online journal. It just breaks my heart all over when I see his little face in these pictures.
This past Monday was very hard on me, and I imagine this coming Monday will be also. This past Monday, my precious baby boy would have been 6 months old. And of course this coming Monday will be his 6 month "Angel Day". The pain is as real now as it was 6 months ago. I keep asking that same question over and over...."WHY?"
I have started seeing a Phsychiatrist now, this one is different than the counselor I was seeing. I have only been to this one once, and will be going to him again tomorrow. Not sure if he will help me at all either, but it is worth a shot. He had me go all the way back to my childhood last week.
I went by the cemetary again today (I try to go every chance I get) and could only stay a few minutes because Molly was in the car. It was strange though. I bought him a pinwheel with an angel on it for out there. While I was sitting at his grave, that pinwheel was spinning FAST! But when I went to the car, the pinwheel stopped. It should have still been spinning as windy as it was, so does that mean maybe it was him blowing it?!?!
I just miss him so very much. I wish he was still here. I want to hold him and kiss him! Tims cousin just had a baby, and I thought I would be ok with it, but as it turns out, I'm not. It's just not fair! Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them, but I want MY baby! Why can't I have mine too?
Well I have been busy trying to change the layout here on the site, so I better get back to that!
Thanks for reading!
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~*~ About TJ Page 2 ~*~
~*~Pictures Page 1~*~.....
~*~ Pictures Page 2 ~*~
~*~ Poems Page 1 ~*~......
~*~ Poems Page 2 ~*~
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