~*~December 29, 2004~*~

Well another Christmas has come and gone....another Christmas without TJ!~
I can't help but wander what he would be doing right now. I know that I have 3 other kids, and they have all been through the age TJ would be, but each kid is different!
Would he like cars, trucks, Wiggles, Barney or everything else 1 year olds like?!?!?!
Would he be a "Mama's boy" or a "Daddy's Boy"? God, why does things like this have to happen to people who love their kids? I mean, there are women (and men) who don't want their kids, but yet the ones that do, and I mean TRULY do want their kids, can't keep them. I just don't understand it. It just isn't fair.
Christmas was as good as could be expected!
We did something new this year, and went to my moms on Christmas Eve. I liked that a whole lot better than our normal routine.
We ordered pizza for supper (yes pizza :) ) and sat around all night. My brother, his wife and 2 sons, came over and I really enjoyed just having some much needed "family time". My uncle came over for a little bit, and so did my grandfather.
We all got a lot of nice things and took a lot of pictures. I will put them on here when my brother sends them to me. It was especially nice, that when we started taking individual family pictures (ex: Me, Tim and the kids) that Jack went and grabbed a picture of TJ and held it up while we took pictures. I had to fight the tears. I reallly miss TJ!
I think one of the best Christmas presents I got, was talking to my cousin. She decided to move to Florida a few months ago and that broke my heart. I think of her like one of my own kids. But she told me Christmas Eve that she is coming HOME! That was so good to hear. Now I can't wait. She is engaged and is going to marry the guy she left with for Florida. As long as he is good to her than I guess I will be happy for her. I just don't want her to get hurt!
On December 11th we went to the cemetary for the annual "CandleLighting Service". It was really nice. They did something new this year too, and that was having a local church choir come and sing Carols. Of course I wasn't really in the mood for carols, but it was still nice. At one point though, they released 24 white doves into the air, while the choir sang "I'll Fly Away". I don't think there was a dry eye there. That was just spectacular. They also said that now when they do a gravesite service, they release 4 doves. 3 for the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, and 1 to represent the life of the deceased. I wish they would have done that for TJ. But then again, I don't know if I would have even remembered it if they did.....I don't remember much about that day....all I remember is having to put my baby in the ground!
Well I guess I better go for now. It is time for me to make supper. I will try to do better about keeping up with my journal.

~Bye for now~

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