I n k C h a l l e n g e d

Web log

December 5,2007:

After a pathetic phone call from the trash today. I thought to myself. I am SO happy I am not dealing with those users anymore. Life is too short for me to even bother with dealing with them any longer. So many of my friends and my new family (Love you guys) have told me,

" Its best that I just let her/it go. She will never change, she is an abuser, manipulator, and a liar. Why have people like that in your life Jamie?"

I have always stuck up for her and justified her actions and led myself blind to what she was really doing. Even the phone call today proved how messed up she really is. She really tried pulling more manipulative crap and I stuck up for myself and told her how it was. She didn't have much to say about it lol. Nothing she could say. She couldn't even name one thing that she has ever done for me. The fact she allowed her womanzing, lazy, jobless, pot head, wife-beating, thug say the things about her own nephew and agree with it, put everything I decided to do about her stupid ways in stone today. The odd part, who cares really. She will just move on to the next person.

+ Alaysha- The Pig

+ Alaysha the Pig Video!

Click the Video Link to see the pig in action! All real images, all real audio. See for yourself. Just download and save to your desktop. ENJOY!!
For all the wonderful comments I have recieved through e-mails, personal notes, messages etc thank you for the support. In case of some freak accident. ALL of this has been posted on my website. www.inkchallenged.cjb.net

Btw, today has been wonderful so far. Spending time with my new family. Going out with all of them for the weekend down south. I am still curious as to what the Lake House will be like ;p

December 5,2007:This is how pathetic my sister truely is. Not only does she FORGET everything I have done for her, she always pretends she has done it all on her own. This is the type of person my entire family has had to deal with. Alaysha only thinks of herself, she is cold in these screenshots as she has been with me all along. Her cash cow is gone now and the only thing she can do is use personal attacks towards me like some random stranger. She takes from everyone, until there is nothing left.

This only proves my previous blog post. If you see her, stay far far away from her and hold on to your wallet. Click the links below to see for yourself...

Alaysha Screen Shot 1
Alaysha Screen Shot 2

The only thing she could say to me was her friends do not know me. Of course they don't. I don't associate myself with drug dealers, ghetto trash, and wanna-be thugs. She couldn't even rebuttal her own accusation. Everyone, that knows me, knows I do not lie! Think about it, why would I be upset at a lie I made up? If it were truely all lies, why would I sit here and end a relationship with my only sister? Why would I bother writing out everything I did for my own little white lies? It makes no sense what so ever. She knows its the truth and she can not face it.
CIAO!!

December 4,2007:Recently, I have been thinking about a few things that have been happening in my life. I have made myself very aware of how I interact with people. Pay attention to their ways of behavior, their gestures, their comments, body language and so forth.

I, personally, have been through a very tramatic experience. To some that are "close" to me could never understand what I am going through unless they have went through it themselves. Some people might respond to what I am saying as,

"Quit being such a fucking pussy and get over it!"

I used to be one of those people that would say the above quote. When I had a friend, relative, or family member go through a divorce, it's like I was completely numb as to what they were going through. I simply could not show empathy for my loved ones. Now that I have witnessed it myself I feel almost like its contrition for being so cold.

I dont expect anyone to show pity towards me because I am going through this, but my point is my guard is up. I am seeing people for who they truely are and sometimes I wish I had seen this behavior before. Which brings me to my current issue.

My sister...
Her and I have always had a on and off again relationship. In the beginning it wasn't her fault , because of me being taken into foster care. When we grew older, I think even on both of our parts, we tried to get in contact with each other. I personally, cherish this relationship. She is my only true family left. She is the only one that really loves me, so I thought. I started about a year ago really paying attention to her behavior towards me. If you are still reading, then I am prematurely apologizing if my content is off topic, letting go of your only family member is upsetting so my thoughts are a bit arbitrary at the moment.

I remember as far back as when I was only 18 years old, her always telling me she needed things. She knew I was dating someone back then, that basically you can call an old sugar daddy. I was 18 and stupid, but I needed money to surive as well. I honestly think the only reason she was pretending to be my sister again is because she knew I had a lot of money then, cars, clothes, etc. She wanted in on it, to put it bluntly. It's never changed since then. I can name countless times where I have helped her, listened to her problems, supported her emotionally, helped her financially when ever I could. She's always been one to say,

"I have always taken care of my kids, no one has done shit for me but me. "

Obviously, this is not verbatim, but pretty damn close. She has told me about issues she has had with other family members, friends etc and saying certain things to her to make her rebuttal their comments. It's true though. She has always taken care of her children. She has always been a great mother. I have always envied her for that. But, the one thing she can not say about me is I have never helped her. I have helped her three fold via her ever helping me. She couldn't even offer a relationship as a sister since we were 15 years old! Granted, I have never asked for anything in return and I have always done what she needed or asked for volunterily. The only thing I would expect is that she was a real sister. One that actually loved you, cared for you, worried if you were doing well, cared about her nephew, cared about my personal life challenges. I have been nothing but civil and forgiving towards her, even after she stole my rent money just to blow it all on crap she wanted.

When my ex-husband and I were being evicted, I was less then 2 days away from the Sheriff putting us out on the curb. I went to my sister, my only family. I asked her if we could stay with her for a few months, while we got back on our feet, all the while helping out with bills (We both had jobs at the time) She responds to me, telling me she has no room for us. Yet, when I went to visit less then a month later, she has a completely empty room. I have taken her in, when I had a small 2 bedroom apartment. This is of course when she stole our rent money. Even then I thought,
"This is my sister. She obviously needed it or she wouldn't have done it"

When in reality, she lied to me about what had happened to her. I won't say what happened because that is her business and no one needs to read about that. I know though and it hurts me to think she would do that type of act towards me, lie to me, steal from me. There is nothing she can say about this that I haven't said already. Its obvious what she was up to. She has apologized about it, a few times, but it still doesn't take away the hurt that your own sister would do that.

Thats all that needs to be said about that.

I have given her my last dollar to make sure, when she was down and out her family had food. When I think about it, its obvious to anyone, or maybe an outside party, she used that for anything but. When she had money that was needed for bills, but needed clothes for her children as well, I bought over 150 dollars worth of items for them, after she cried to me on the phone saying how they had nothing. I do realize its the least I could have done for my neices and nephews. Then again, it makes me think. What has she EVER done for her nephew? A phone call to talk to him? Ask how he is doing? Some type of care and concern for his well being, especially during what we are going through now? Hell no.
I can remember countless times attempting to get her atleast something for her birthday or Christmas when I had money to do so. I remember times we haven't even talked for 8 months plus at a time and still trying to do something for her or at least trying to.

The only thing I can remember she has done for me since I have known her, is taken me to the hosipital when I was 1 day from getting meningitis (This is when a inflammitory infection spreads to the nervous system) and giving me a few articles of clothing when I moved to Atlanta. I am not comparing what she has done, because I know she can not afford things like that. Its just when someone keeps taking and taking and taking and I have reached my breaking point.

When I moved to Atlanta I had given her a lot of my possessions I could not take with me. I knew that some of them she could use and I was really happy I could help her once again. I had given her a $2000.00 computer. I was so happy that her and I could keep in contact online, chat, play games together and finally work on this relationship. When all it has come down to is what she could ever get from me. The only comments she has said about the computer is how things do not work, or how its slow etc. The computer was no more then 1 year old, in the computer world thats old but to someone that has never owned one, it should have been more then "a slow computer". I don't think she ever took into consideration, that she doesn't know how to use it properly. Since I even moved to Atlanta, for the 6 months I have lived here, 4 months of it, she hasn't called me. The number has never changed. I had to find her, luckily I found an old voicemail message with an out of service number that redirected me to the newer one and called her. I had to once again reach out to her. Even then she never cared to talk to me, her actions spoke volumes when I called her. For the past three days she is calling me non stop to help her with the computer, coding for her. I did, but of course she had to take what I had. I couldn't even have my own myspace, she had to take what I had. Pictures similar, layouts, songs, flash, etc. When her page was complete or when she thought (LMFAO) she had a handle on her CSS/XML coding she stopped calling. She didn't need me anymore. When I tried calling, needed someone to talk to, my sister, my best friend (sad as that sounds) she wasn't there. She never had time for me, yet she had time to ask for help or have me do it for her...UGH

Enough of this ranting and complaining but I felt for once its time to say something and this is the way to do it for me. This is what makes me happy, to finally say something. So,

Dear Sister,
I truely do love you and always will, but I think its time we go our seperate ways. I have given you so much in my life, my time, my conversation, my love, money etc and all I have gotten in return is manipulation, abuse and narcissitic behavior. You have used our relationship as a way to play on my emotions to feel sympathy for you and to help you. The fact that you dismiss Tina and John as not your parents is your way of dismissing me. You pretend that where you grew up didn't exist. You even go as far as dealing with what has happened to us, to me, to you by erasing your former self. Changing your last name by a person you never knew by only the last few years. Probably guilting that person to redeem themselves for never accepting you and putting you in that home on Chase St. Well, Sister, you can not dismiss me. I will always be your sister, weither you choose to accept that or not. Thank you for never truely caring for me or loving me. Thank you for never careing about your nephew. Thank you for never really careing about what I had to say when I was depressed, yet I have always been there for you. Remember, sister you pulled away from me, time and time again. You're narcissistic ways will only tell you that I am wrong, that you're not doing that or never have. You and I both know this is the truth and "real" as you put it. You never were a friend of mine, or a sister. So this is my goodbye to you. I need people in my life that truely love me and surround myself with positive attitudes. I wish you all the best, please give my love to Cam, Nana, Isiah and Nate.

I guess if I had more money I could have had a better relationship with you. I guess my only good memories with you was on Chase St after all..

Goodbye Sister...

November 17, 2007:Can you believe after almost 3 years, I come across my old website just to see if everything is still here and look what I found? I have been promising updates for 3 years now and its damn well time to get things moving along again. Over the course of the next 3 months you will soon find drastic changes,a redirect to the new website, more bandwith for your downloading pleasure, video gallery, better "prog" downloads. I have a lot of work ahead of me but I am glad to be back. I will keep some of the older blog enteries but they will be in years now lol. Then a more recent back to monthly links as well. I have so much to tell you but I owe you all a huge apology and time to start upgrading. Hope to see and talk to you all soon. I will be sending out a newsletter as well with all the upgraded info.