Experiential Apologetics

As noted above under Cognitive Apologetics, when talking with people it must be done in an atmosphere of love and acceptance. It is no good winning an argument if the people are alienated, and so a genuine relational dynamic should be maintained.

It corresponds to what Aristotle described as the ethos and pathos factors in effective communication. Concerning ethos, a person must be able to sense that the communicator is a person of intelligence, character, and good will, and that they are informed, moral, and interested in their welfare. Concerning pathos, the listener will be able to sense if the communicator is identifying with their emotional state and relating to him/her at that entry level, and not being manipulative. Note that the ethos of the communicator is often known through their attempts at connecting with the pathos of the hearer.

This is especially important when dealing with cynical people for example, because underneath there is often a lot of hurt in them. We need to handle people with care and treat them with integrity and respect. Often as an evangelist you have to first 'cop a lot of crap' from people, and be around long enough, until they get deep down and they reveal the heart of the issue for them. Communication, or engagement, is to bring out commonality, hurts, and questions. We need to couple our attention to people's needs with probing, sensitive, sensible questions as we put ourselves in the world of somebody else in an appropriate way.

All this we see this beautifully and perfectly illustrated in the life of Jesus. Consider His approach in dealing with Zaccheus, the man ostracized from his fellow 'respectable' Jews not only perhaps because of his short stature but definitely because he was a tax collector for the Romans (cf Luke 19:1-9). The first thing Jesus did in response to seeing Zaccheus' desire to see Jesus was invite Himself to dinner at his house! It was in the context of this utmost sign of acceptance and solidarity that Zaccheus was opened up from within to be able to hear and respond to Jesus, and we read that it was in the process of the meal unfolding that he was transformed, giving his wrongly acquired wealth away.

The above tells us that how we experience the messenger is just as important, if not more so, than the message itself. Sometimes it is the experience of the message, registered by our emotions, that gets through our mental defenses more than the actual spoken word, and that therefore challenges us to consider the cognitive word once again. And this is important, because ultimately for a person to live in harmony within himself/herself, thoughts held in the mind should be congruent with the decisions made in the will. Else there is cognitive dissonance leading to stress.