Exercising discipline

God has given a responsibility to people in positions of authority to exercise discipline in a spirit of gentleness so that the people they are serving might grow in godly character and thus reflect God's glory in the world.  This is probably one of the hardest aspects of leadership to perform successfully, but is absolutely essential if the people they are caring for are to grow in grace and become more like Jesus Christ.

These principles should be followed:

Be an example of what you intend to teach.
Demonstrate love before correction.
Train the person to delight in wisdom.
Establish goals and limitations.
Clarify the consequences of disobedience.

First Offense - Give Warning
(1) Get alone with the person.  This is to ensure that no further 'embarrassment' factor in front of others can hinder the discipline and learning process;
(2) Clarify the instruction;
(3) Convey grief eye-to-eye;
(4) Give only one warning, and ensure that the 'threat' contained in the warning is fitting for the offense and is able to be carried through if necessary.
(5) Be prepared to follow through on discipline.

Second Offense - Steps of Correction
(1) Act "in the day you hear it";
(2) Bind Satan before the confrontation, because the devil has already got a foothold due to disobedience!;
(3) Get alone for correction;
(4) Establish personal responsibility;
(5) Appeal to the conscience.  For example,  asking 'Was that smart?' or 'Why did you do that?' is actually an appeal to the mind.  Asking 'Was that wise?' is an appeal to the conscience.
(6) Associate correction with love;
(7) Give comfort after repentance.

(Adapted and condensed from the Basic Life Principles Seminar)

Note: the intent is to teach those you are leading to obey the first time, instead of them becoming used to being allowed to disobey a few times before actually obeying.  It is especially useful, I believe, when training children.

It is interesting to read Titus 3:10, however.  It states „Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him."  Does this imply two chances?  Or the standard 'three times and you are out'?  It seems so, and seems to be also in line with what Jesus said concerning what to do with your brother when he sins against you (Matthew 18:15-17).  However, in both cases it concerns another adult member of the congregation who is hard-headed and will not listen to you or accept your authority over their lives (for example, if you are their pastor or mentor).