| Humie's Laughables!!! |
| Mensa Test Here is a test to exercise your brain; answer the questions, and then check them with the correct answers at the bottom... Questions... What do you put in a toaster? Say "silk" 5 times. Now spell silk. What do cows drink? If a red house is made with red bricks, a blues house is made with blue bricks, a pink house is made with pink bricks, a black house is made with black bricks, what is a greenhouse made with? |
| Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you will recall, at the time, Germany was politically divided into East Germany and West Germany. Anyway, duriing the flight, tow engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is about to fail, decided on a crash landing procedure. Unforunately, the engine fails before he has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no-man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany, West Germany, or in "no-man's land?" If the hour hand of a clock moves 1/60th of a degree every minute, then how many degrees wil the hour hand move in one hour? Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, 6 people get of the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon, 2 people get of and 4 get on. In CArdiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, 3 people get off and 5 people get on. In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver? Answers... Bread Water Glass You don't bury the survivors! 1 degree It was you! Only in America... ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. ...are there handicap parking spaces in front of a skating rink. ...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescrptions while the healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. ...do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters. ...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. ...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. A History of Teaching Math Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C", the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits? Teaching Math in 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. Teaching Math in 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers. Teaching Math in 2002: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Arthur Andersen determine that his profit margin is $60? Labels 1. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping 2. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. 3. On a bar of Dial Soap: Directions-Use like regular soap 4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion - Defrost 5. On Tesco's Tirmisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): Do not turn upside down. 6. On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating 7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. 8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication (and that will surely reduce the amount of deaths in construction accidents!) 9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning - May cause drowsiness 10. On some brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only 11. On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use 12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning - Contains nuts 13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions - Open packet, eat nuts 14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly 15. On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with hands 16. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid: Do not use on food 17. On a tube of Crest toothpaste: If swallowed, please contact poison control (soory, but I've never heard of anyone dying from swallowing a little toothpaste) 18. On most bottles of laundry detergent: Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine |