After being 'escorted' from the Playboy Mansion I decided to try out some G-Rated activities, so off to Disneyland I went. It truly is a magical place! How else would all those employees be able to stay so happy? I've heard so much about the Matterhorn, you know the one in Switzerland and I was SO excited to hear that they built a replica in Disneyland! So I get into the line. Once I finally get to the front of the line, some Prozac addicted twit tells me that I don't make the height requirement. Can you believe it???
After 'borrowing' a snow cone from the kid behind me I finally got through. What a waste of time and effort!! I have never seen such a horrible attempt at my culture (and I have seen some pretty terrible knock-offs). You call that an abominable snowman??? Pisha! I've met him and he looks NOTHING like that! What do they take us for? Cheeseheads????
I was about to leave utterly dejected by the whole Disneyland experience when I saw it: The ride of all the pinnacle of all that is good and pure in the world...the Teacup Ride!!! I must have gone on it 10 times in a row (let the whiney kids wait, they've got their whole lives in front of them) Man did that ride Kick Ass!!! I'm definitely going back tomorrow.
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