Naturally, the more a person respects one's mate the stronger & lasting shall be the bond of true love which is based on sound reasoning which forms an ideal platform for a fruitful, purposeful & prosperous life. Marriages that are usually good and lasting are those that start at the least affection. That affection grows after marriage. If you have any affection towards a person, you should ask yourself why you like that person. Do you have a sensible, rational justification? If yes, then there is no harm in your choosing such a person to be your life long associate. It is better this way for love is a powerful emotion that can get out of hand if not balanced by reason. Romance, if not checked, may mean wasting time, effort and dignity. Bear in mind that the human psyche is so designed that if one is fortunate to get a good, pious wife then over a period of time the memories of any earlier inane infatuation get wiped out.
In this context, I'd like to cite the following edict that clarifies the Islamic ruling on falling in love:
"We do not say love is halal or haram because it is a feeling. Maybe it is not under control. You can judge what is under control. But people who fall in love are in many episodes away from the cleansed and pure atmosphere.
If we are speaking about the emotion which we call "love" then we are simply speaking of a feeling. What we feel toward a particular person is not of great importance, until our feeling is expressed in a particular action. Now if that action is permissible, then well and good. If it is forbidden, then we have incurred something that Allah does not approve of. If it is love between a man and a woman, the emotion itself is not the subject of questioning on the Day of Judgment. If you feel you love someone, then you cannot control your feeling. If that love prompts you to try to see that person in secret and to give expression to your feelings in actions permissible only within the bond of marriage then what you are doing is forbidden."
Shedding more light on the issue in point I'd like to cite the words of Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He states:
"In Islam, it is not a sin if you feel a special affinity or inclination towards a certain individual since human beings have no control on such natural inclinations. We are, however, definitely responsible and accountable if we get carried away by such feelings and take specific actions or steps that might be deemed as haram (forbidden). contd....