If, however, one does none of the above, and all that he or she wants is to seriously consider marrying someone, such a thing itself is not considered haram. In fact, Islam encourages us to marry persons for whom we have special feelings and affinity. Thus, Islam recommends that potential marriage partners see one another before proposing marriage thereby making an informed, mature decision. Explaining the reason for such a recommendation, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "That would enhance/foster the bonding."
This permission notwithstanding, we are advised against getting carried away by merely the outward appearances of a person; these may be quite misleading. Marriage is a life-long partnership and a person's real worth is determined not by his or her physical looks, but more so by the inner person or character. Hence, after having mentioned that people ordinarily look for beauty, wealth and family in a marriage partner, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, advised us to consider primarily "the religious or character factor" over and above all other considerations.
Further, Islam's insistence on parental involvement in the selection process is to ensure that a person exercises his or her choice correctly. In other words, parents can & should step in if there is a serious issue of compatibility, for at our age even the most intelligent would tend to give preference to instinct over reason!"
In the present perspective I thought it prudent to also quote the article - "The Mindless Dating Game - Happiness or Heartbreak" - written by Mohd. Ather Khan, in full: -
"Many unmarried people these days search for "love" in a series of premarital relationships, which far from yielding happiness, lead to nothing but spiritual degeneration, loss of self-respect, heartache and misery.
When the average girl reaches the age of ten or eleven, she - sometimes with the knowledge of her parents, sometimes without their knowledge - becomes engrossed in and obsessed with the teen romance novel: a blonde, blue-eyed girl, with a perfect figure, falls in love with the football hero of the school, a few complications on the way (nothing major, of course), but things end happily after.
In these novels, girl and boy might hold hands, or there might even be a kiss, thrown in somewhere along the line. By the time the impressionable reader of these novels reaches her late teens, she is sick of these story lines...and is searching for more. And is most cases, "more" is usually available right there in her home, tucked away at the bottom of her mother's cupboard, in the form of adult romance novels.
The holding hands, and the kissing has now made way for much more, as details of pre-marital passion, and the fulfilment thereof are graphically spelt out on these pages.
The reader is told what the "perfect body" is supposed to look like, the notion that sexual intercourse before marriage is sweet and romantic seeps through these pages...the feelings of degradation, and the many possible consequences thereof are conveniently left out.
A fairy tale is a fairy tale, we tell ourselves, a book is a book...they have no implications on real life. contd.....