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Unusual Sensory Traits

I see the world differently than most people. Part of that is due to a different way of thinking about the world, but part of it is the result of sensory processing difficulties. My hearing, sight, and (I suspect) other senses function normally, but my brain sometimes processes them in unusual ways. Almost all autistics have some sort of sensory processing difficulty. Many researchers suspect that these sensory processing difficulties are often the cause of some of the more detrimental autistic behaviors, such as self-abuse and tantrums. Seeing the world in a confusing way can be very disorienting and frightening to someone who already has a lot of anxiety.

I can only write about how I see the world, not how others see it. So, while much of what I write below applies to other autistics, other autistics do not experience everything the way I do.

Internal Senses

My strangest senses are my "internal senses". These are also the ones that are hardest to ignore. Often, my body can not determine if it is hot or cold. While I can pick up a hot or cold drink and instantly tell you if it is hot or cold, I have trouble deciding if my body's temperature is too hot or too cold. I'll often think I'm hot when I'm actually cold, or cold when I'm actually hot. When I think I'm hot, the temptation to take off a coat or a blanket is sometimes too much to resist, even if I know logically that if I can see my breath, it is cold. I also have problems deciding if I'm hungry or not. Sometimes I think I'm hungry when I'm not and also think I'm not hungry when I am hungry. These senses seem to reverse themselves mainly when I'm experiencing them very strongly. For example, if I don't eat for a day, I should be very hungry, but because this is such a strong sense, I'll actually feel very satisfied. Obviously, these are the senses which get me in the most trouble, since they are my body's way of telling me to give attention but my brain misinterprets them.

I have a hard time localizing pain, especially strong pain. I have a very hard time explaining where aches are located when my doctors ask.

Smell

My sense of smell is often very sensitive but sometimes very insensitive. If Most of the time, if I enter a place with a strong oder, good or bad, I often experience something like an allergic reaction. I can not enter a flower or perfume shop, and avoid some department stores for this reason. I can't stand the smell of some people, either, since they put on too much scent. Some people's houses smell, either because of uncleanliness or because of "air fresheners." I can't go in these houses, even though most people seem to have no problems with these places.

Sight

My sense of sight is fairly sensitive. I hate bright light, as it hurts my eyes, especially if I'm under stress. Sunglasses (especially with a purple tint) have been very helpful.

I don't look people in the eyes, or even look directly at the eyes. I don't even like looking into the eyes of photographs.

I watch things out of the sides of my eyes. I have very good peripheral vision. If I look at something directly, it will sometimes seem to disappear.

I also like to look at things "at an angle". I almost always tilt my head to one side or the other when I'm looking at something. If I am trying hard to see something, I'll tilt my head to the left and then to the right, to get a different perspective on this. I have no idea why I do this, since I am very good at 3d visualization. My barber thinks I'm nuts because of this - he claims he can't ever cut my hair straight since I never hold my head straight!

I also have trouble with object recognition sometimes. I've mistaken some objects for completely different ones, such as mistaking people walking down the street for trees were walking down the street. My conscious mind can usually tell that there was a problem with my object recognition (at least when it is something "obvious" enough, like seeing trees walking down the street). By ignoring my instinct and consciously analyzing the object, I can still determine what it is. Fortunately, my problems in this area are still fairly rare, but I suspect they are more common then they should be.

Hearing

My hearing is also very sensitive. Loud noise can be very unpleasant. If there is some background noise, I have a hard time focusing on a particular person speaking. Their words just seem to blur and fade out. I am very bad at understanding conversations at parties.

I also find that sometimes I can't determine what direction a sound is coming from. It seems worst with loud sounds coming directly from one side or another (like a friend shouting, "Joel, watch out!"). I'll often look to the wrong side when I hear a noise.

In addition, I have a hard time determining relative pitch if the volume of the sounds is also changing. I see both the pitch and volume of a note on the same "axis" in my mind, causing variations in both to confuse my mind.

More information on my pitch and volume discrimination difficulties

Touch

I dislike most touches, especially light or "gentle" ones. A hug can be very disorienting for me, since it feels like someone is screaming at me. Even a friend or loved one screaming is unpleasant, so I dislike almost any sort of physical affection.

But, I love heavy pressure! I look forward to crawling under loads of blankets before I get to bed. It gives me great joy and happiness to feel the comforting weight all over my body. I'll lay under the weight, laughing and squealing with delight. I find that it relaxes me tremendously, too. But, I hate light touch. If I feel a slight breeze, I'll either feel very cold or I'll not be able to suppress a tick. Someone brushing against me is very unpleasant, and I'll often continue to feel this sensation for a long time afterward.

I can tolerate touch much better if I can brace myself first. I don't have difficulties with handshakes, and I can hug some people and even mimic the embrace, provided that I know that the touch is going to occur. Unexpected touches are awful.

Taste

Taste is the only sense I have which I don't think is over sensitive. I love almost all foods, especially spicy ethnic dishes (Mexican and any type of Asian food are my favorites). But, I eat a lot of bland food, too. I was the one in the family who would eat anything, while my brother - the most "neurotypical" of my family - was the picky eater! I've never eaten a food that I didn't like when someone else did like it, with the exception of garlic which I don't particularly care for.

Seeing Lightning

I don't consider myself to "see" sounds or touches, but sometimes my sense of sight is affected by my other senses. There are certain kinds of touch or sounds which will cause me to see a white field instead of seeing normally. A lot of time, it is like a flash of lightning - temporarily very disorienting and "blinding". Sometimes with touch, I hear what sounds like a gunshot or thunderclap when touched in certain ways.