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The following report was received from an ex-government official on February 20, 2007, this report is classified, and the person who gave us this information prefers to remain anonymous. "I have it on good authority that the elusive gronkydoodle is actually the result of genetic engineering. You see, at Area 51 some work was conducted in the 1950s to produce a creature who specialized in mind control. Some DNA was taken from a fairy, a sasquatch and the elusive chupacabra. The result was the gronkydoodle. The results were quite successful. Almost too successful, one might say. One of the side effects was the gronkeydoodles high rate of reproduction. A female gronkydoodle has three offspring per year and they mature in an astonishing six months. At the same time this was taking place, some of the spliced DNA was smuggled into the Soviet Union. Unbeknownst to everyone involved in the experiment, gronkydoodles are able to maintain a psychic link to all their kin around the world. Sometime in the late 50's, the gronkydoodles were able to escape from their keepers into the wild. They stowed away on ships and planes far and wide. It is believed it was the gronkydoodles themselves who made their presence known to the human population of the world. Their mind control techniques are second to none and have shown a propensity for controlling the minds of celebrities- as is evidenced by their ruthless methods of controlling their victims to undergo cosmetic surgery in order to look more gronkydoodle."
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Gronkydoodles, hear my cry! Without your love my soul shall die! -Al Manning |
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