Releasing my inner Carrie Bradshaw...
The other day I watched a Seinfeld rerun in which Jerry started sleeping with a woman who George had just broken up with. Jerry was worried about what George would think, until Kramer convinced him that friends should look out for each. If George wasn't interested in a woman anymore, why should he begrudge his friend for getting a little action? Believe it or not, George didn't see it the same way. He of course freaked out and situation comedy ensued.So what does this have to do with the current situation in Burma? This particular epsidode got me thinking about are current group of friends.
One of the central tenets of guy code is that you should never, ever kiss, date, or sleep with your friends' exes, sisters, or current interests. In most groups of friends doing any of the above results in one's permanent expulsion from the group.
For whatever reason, this aspect of the code does not seem to have jurisdiction over our group of friends. In fact, the opposite may be true. It almost seems like you aren't quite a full member of our group if you haven't treaded this dotted line.
Why do we operate differently than the rest of the civilized world? Are we a group of backstabbers who are too timid to ever confront our friends when we are the aggrieved party? Are we all just too lazy to
3-10-04 - The Guy Code
3-8-04 - Austin Marathon Weekend
2-25-04 - Headlines
2-23-04 - Meaghan's Birthday Thoughts
2-18-04 - Columns Revisited
2-3-04 - 2003 Movie Awards (Updated)
Archives
1) "Mr. Blue Sky" - Electric Light Orchestra
2) "Never Let You Down" - Kanye West
3) "Immigrant Song" - Led Zeppelin
4) "Danger! High Voltage" - Electric Six
5) "Your Ghost" - Kristin Hersh
6) "Use Me"- Bill Withers
7) "Words So Leisured" - Franz Ferdinand
8) "Strict Machine" - Goldfrapp
9) "Bluelips"- Joseph Arthur
10) "Ride" - The Vines
Last week I had a drunken conversation with Alex, during which he expressed how much he liked and valued our group of friends. He also noted that he didn't think we realized how unique and special our friendships with each other were. Alex is usually an overly affectionate drunk, but I think he got it mostly right here. Our friendships with each other are closer, deeper, truer. I think Alex was mistaken though, when he said that we don't appreciate what we have. I believe that we do treasure our friendships to such an extent that we never let romantic entanglements trump them.
That is why I wrote Guy Code Rule #10 the way I did in yesterday's column. We cross many lines, but each guy has that one girl (or 2 or 3) that all of us know is off-limits. But even that does not seem to be necessarily set in stone anymore. I have always been a fervent proponent of Rule #10 for both selfish and altruistic purposes. Now I am as convinced that it is necessary.
If you care about a girl enough to want to make her off limits, doesn't it mean you should also care about her enough to ultimately desire her happiness? And if you are any kind of a friend, shouldn't you want your friend to be happy too? And if what makes them both happiest is each other, even if it is hard for you, shouldn't you step aside and wish them both the best of luck?
As Jeff sarcastically said when I floated this idea, "Riiiiiiight". So maybe our friendship isn't quite ready for that step yet. And so dies another piece of my fading idealism.