-- NOT--
After having met Brian last weekend I came to some conclusions about Charles and the men he dates. He seems to like men, like meny of us, who manage to combine the best of both worlds; those who combine the best traits of gay men; sincitivity, affection and openmindedness along with those of straight men. Strenght decisivines and a sence of protection when with them. But all to often men who at first at first seem to combine these fine atributes have feet of clay. Most often after getting to know these men you ralize that instead of combining the best traits they have attained many of the worst. Brian though very nice was definately what if they had been a straight couple would be called a male chovenist pig. His attitude was that Charles' likes, wants and life in genteral should take a back seat to what he needed and desired. Though I describe these traits in broud terms it was the little things that he did that gave me clues to his personallity.
I thought that Charles was missing the clues to these traits because he was so enamored with having met someone who seemed so strong, centered and decisive. He seemed to be suborning himself into this relationship where his wants and needs were concidered somewhat unemportented and would only be met inso far as they didn't enterfier with Brians nor inconvience him.
For Charles' birthday I paid for his flight to visit Brian but also wrote a heart felt letter discribing what I thought were his most admirable traits and outlining what I thought were arguments combating those things he most often spoke of as his failings in the hopes that they would reasure him when he finally realized that the relationship was more one way than he really wanted and decided to confront Brian for the way he treated him.
I am very proud of that letter and my ability to finally put into words how much I liked and admired Charles.I also finally put into words an apology for my own past shabby treatment of him. We have been friends for a long time and I had over time taken him and his friendship for granted and wanted to apologize for doing so.
To read the content of the letter you can go to A Letter of Love, Admiration and Friendship.
