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THE BOY AT HOOVER DAM
Okay, here we go with another commentary. I was finishing off this roleplay at the same time that the Canadian Women's team was playing in the gold medal hockey game at the 2002 Olympics, so I was desperate to get this thing done. Hopefully that it is not too obvious. This one was right before the Deadly Sins pay per view, which was to be held in Las Vegas, so I thought as sort of a way to "promote" the pay per view, The Boy would get sent out to Hoover Dam. I'm not sure if that idea is logical or not, but it's something different than appearing at a casino or something like that. In retrospect, The Boy should have been a guest at a Siegried and Roy magic show or something. That could potentially be hilarious. I think the only reason I thought of this was the dreadfully bad Chevy Chase flick, "Vegas Vacation," where they actually visit the Hoover Dam. So, if you think this roleplay sucks (and I don't), blame Chevy Chase. Trust me, it's fun. I think having this roleplay listed here is important because it highlights the era where Jay Zee and myself feuded, which was a lot of fun for me personally. Strangely, I don't really feel enough really many really memorable roleplays back then, but this one was pretty good and that's why you are reading this today. Anyway, let's get on with it!
(The scene opens up along the Hoover Dam, just outside of Las Vegas, Nevada. As one would
expect, there is a tour of the Dam taking place. The camera pans in to show that there are two tour
guides-a young, attractive woman and RWW wrestler Scott "The Boy" Hellings.)
It's amazing that everywhere I go I seem to end up being paired off with an attractive woman. Now THAT'S a super power if ever there was one.
HELLINGS-
"Hello everyone. Allow me to introduce myself. I am RWW wrestler Scott Hellings. I am here
to promote our pay per view that will be taking place in Las Vegas this Friday evening. So, as part
of my promotional appearance, I will be helping Sarah here with this tour. Sarah?"
SARAH-
"Thank you Scott. Now then, welcome to The Hoover Dam everyone. Construction of the dam began in 1931, when
it was discovered that the Colorado River needed to be tamed...."
Once again the level of research that goes into these roleplays is staggering. "Needed to be tamed?" Sounds like I plagarized that line, doesn't it? Well, guess what?
HELLINGS-(Cutting of Sarah)
"Yes, that's right. But more importantly, at Deadly Sins, I have not one, but TWO matches!
I will be facing off against my partner and friend Stupac and then I am in a triple threat Hell in a Cell
match against Jayson Gray and Jay Zee. I have a chance to win the Supreme Title and to get a World Title
shot at next month's pay per view."
I was never sure why the Supreme Title became the Supreme Title. If I recall correctly, it was originally the US Title, but then someone (I think it was Bobby Digital) renamed it the Supreme Title. Why titles need renaming I'll never know, but I remember that title got renamed far too often in RWW. Heck, I was the International/Warfare/International champion in EWA. I did have two matches though for this title though, one against good old Stupac, who at the time was still my tag partner. As promised in the Larry King commentary, here is an interesting note about our tag partnership: our team name was Two Guys, a Tag Team and a Pizza Place. This name was not chosen by ourselves. I was bored one night and decided to post a poll on the old RWW boards, as to what our team name should be. Stu was a fan of Pure Impact, since he was part of the Impact Playaz and I was in Pure Style Inc. So one option was Pure Impact, another Impacting Purely. I then combined our two names to devise HellPac. I also had the winning entry (I only chose that because I remember my sister loving the show "Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place," which starred Ryan Reynolds. I've always liked that title and felt I had to bastardize it). Finally, I chose what I thought was really funny, which was The 'Pac and Scott Connection, an obvious play on The Rock and Sock Connection. Obviously, this was all meant as a joke. Soon after posting it Two Guys clearly dominated, winning something like 90% of the vote. So we ran with it. We even did some roleplays in our very own pizza parlor. Corny, but it was a lot of fun too. Anyway, back to the roleplay itself.
SARAH-
"Uh, Scott? What are you doing?"
HELLINGS-
"Just informing the people about the pay per view."
SARAH-
"Right. Well, I'm kinda in the middle of a tour."
HELLINGS-
"I understand that. I just felt that I would let these people know so they can go out and either
try to get some tickets or to order the pay per view from their hotel room."
I'm not even sure if you can order wrestling PPV's from your hotel room. I know you can order second-run movies and porn, but I'm not so sure about wrestling.
SARAH-
"Right, well please just be quiet and let me do this tour."
I understand she's trying to do her job, but isn't that why I'm there? She's a little testy, isn't she? Shouldn't she have known I was going to be there and why?
HELLINGS-
"Of course."
SARAH-
"Now then, it took 5,200 people to work 24 hours a day for five years to complete
the dam. It was finished two years ahead of schedule..."
HELLINGS-
"Impressive indeed. Just as impressive as competing in two grueling wrestling matches in
one night. Which is what I will be doing at Deadly Sins. And although the odds are against me, I know I will
prevail. After all, I am The Boy and that means I am The Best!"
Nice segueway into the cheap plug! It is as if I planned it that way.
SARAH-
"Uh, Scott?"
HELLINGS-
"And if you were smart, you would go back to Vegas right now and place some money on me,
The Boy!"
I had to get that line in there. For some time when I first started out, I had a sort of a minor catchphrase about how I would win and you could take that to the bank, or that "the boys in Vegas were saying to put all your money on The Boy." Stuff like that. It's sort of an homage to those days. And, yes, both of those attempts at catchphrases pretty much suck.
(The camera shows one man running off to his car, apparently going to place a bet on Hellings.)
I love the fact that one guy is THAT desperate to go place a bet he runs off right then and there. I really don't think the parking lot is right next to the dam, but I suppose we must "assume" that he's running to his car.
SARAH-
"Scott! Please just stand there and be quiet for a minute! I have a tour to do!"
HELLINGS-
"Hey! I am just trying to give myself a cheap plug! And what's wrong with that? These people have a right
to know more about Deadly Sins! I mean, Las Vegas is a city reknowned for its legendary performers! And after Deadly Sins,
another name is going to be added to that list! You are going to have Elvis, Wayne Newton, Siegfried and Roy and The Boy! Because
I am going into Deadly Sins, and I am walking out on top, just like I always do! How about you, Sarah? Do you like to be on top?"
Nice line about the performers. And cue obligatory sexual harassment line...
SARAH-
"Excuse me?"
HELLINGS-
"Hey, it is called (making quotation marks with his fingers) 'Sin City!' And lust is one of the seven deadly sins after all."
Not to be confused with the film Sin City of course. Mmm...Jessica Alba. I'm sorry, where was I? For what it's worth, I remember that I designed the poster for Deadly Sins, as I often did back then. Anyway, knowing that there were seven deadly sins, the poster design had the number 7 on a black background, with many of the RWW performers inside the seven. Unfortunately, everyone got the impression the pay per view was called "7" or "Seven Deadly Sins." I tried to explain it, but it never worked. I remember that poster took me a long time to do too, since I wasn't entirely sure how to make transparent text (it's so much easier now with the newer Photoshop editions than it was then) and it was very frustrating that after all that work everyone got all confused. My own mistake I guess. Anyway, I gotta admit, for someone who was rushing through this roleplay, I was coming up with some decent material.
SARAH-
"Uh...are you coming on to me? Or was that another bad attempt at a cheap plug?"
HELLINGS-
"Well, a little from column A and a little from column B."
That's a line I use quite often in real life. I'm either stealing it from Aladdin or The Simpsons, take your pick.
SARAH-
"Oh. Well stop it!"
HELLINGS-
"Which one? The flirting or the cheap plugs?"
SARAH-
"Both!"
That's harsh. You know, just once, I think The Boy should end up wooing the girl. That would be unexpected. Perhaps it says something about my psyche and self-confidence around women? Or maybe The Boy is just a jerk. Or maybe a little from Column A, a little from Column B. Score! Reference to the roleplay!
HELLINGS-
"Oh come on! You and I can take off and have an evening on the town together!"
SARAH-
"Not if you were the last man on earth!"
HELLINGS-(Pouting)
"Fine. I didn't want to go out with you anyway. I mean, all whirlwind romances in Las Vegas end up with
a cheap bottle of champagne, a guy named Louie and a drive thru wedding chapel. And I would hate
to have to wake up in the morning beside someone who doesn't appreciate me!"
I like the way I try to shrug the rejection off and pretend I really didn't want her after all. For someone who has never actually been to Las Vegas, I think I'm doing a good job of hitting up all the major cliches here. You know what one I hate though? The one about "what happens here, stays here." It's so overused these days.
SARAH-
"If you're done, can I continue?"
HELLINGS-
"Whatever."
SARAH-
"Finally! Sorry about that ladies and gentlemen. Now this structure is 660 feet thick,
over 700 feet high and over 1,200 feet across. Truly, an impressive structure."
HELLINGS-
"You know, the Hell in a Cell is also an impressive structure. And this will be the second
time in the last three months that I will be placed in that structure. And the last time? I nearly
put Too Tuff on the shelf permanently! And by the time Deadly Sins is done, I just might put an
end to Jay Zee's career, to pay him back for trying to hold me back all those years ago."
You know what else I really like about this roleplay? It's actually to the point; I'm actually discussing wrestling! That was a reference to the Revelations PPV earlier that year when I chokeslamed Too Tuff off the cell. I'm such a jerk. Of course, later on ending Jay Zee's career became my main focus and I even succeeded in that I suppose you could say. Hurray for me. Initially, before the redesign of the site, this was the only roleplay from this era that was on the site, which was a shame because a lot of them were at least memorable in one way or another. Fortunately, I was able to find some and get them posted. This one is good, but it was such a major part of The Boy's career that more roleplays need to listed. One of the other ones from then that I really like was where challenged Jay Zee to our ladder match (it's on the roster page now, hurray!). I don't have a commentary for that yet. So I'll explain something about it here: I did that one inside the old PSI Bar and Grill, which was a setting both Thom and I used every so often. Basically, it was an injoke that no one else got but me and my friends. Between our hometown of Moose Jaw and the provincial capital, Regina, is a small town known as Pense. I always have, and always will, enjoy making fun of Pense. What's in Pense? The Pense Bar and Grill...and that's it. So the joke was we overran the bar and turned it into our own bar. At one point I was even going to make a seperate PSI Bar & Grill website. We are dorks, weren't we? Anyway, that's my little sidenote about a completely different roleplay.
SARAH-
"Okay, I thought I warned you about not doing that! The deal was for you to come here, do the tour with me,
sit back, smile, and maybe sign some autographs! There was nothing in the deal about you interrupting my tour
nonstop with this mindless drivel!"
You know, I think I would rather take this tour than the actual Hoover Dam tour myself I'm sure. At least this one is mildly entertaining. How enjoyable can a bunch of concrete be otherwise, honestly?
HELLINGS-
"Hey! I don't even want to be here! But since I'm here I figured I would do some business! Believe you me, these
people will want to watch this pay per view, they will want to see The Boy! That's why I am booked in two matches, not just
one! Besides, this pay per view is going to be historic, because it will help me finally reach the top of the ladder! It will show
the world that I am The Canadian Legend! That I am the best that Rampage World Wrestling has to offer! I am doing these people
a favor by letting them know that they should watch it!"
I'm surprised I didn't mention my fans, The Boy Scouts.
SARAH-
"Okay! That is it! I have had it with you! Please, just leave! I have tours to do!"
HELLINGS-
"Fine! Be that way!"
SARAH-
"And don't come back!"
(The Boy begins to walk off towards the parking lot and starts to mumble to himself.)
HELLINGS-
"That's the last time I let Wilson schedule my public appearances! Oh well, after Deadly Sins, the fans and all of the
RWW will have to take me seriously!"
At the time Rob Gamble went a little bit crazy and he had Wilson the Volleyball from Castaway as his personal advisor. I loved the idea and ran with it whenever I could. I even remember writing up a segment for Friday Fire one week where people were complaining about everyone selling out. K Dogg had been doing a Subway commercial so he was eating all sorts of subs and while he was eating and Tommy Dee and I discussed the growing epidemic of people selling out for corporate spoonsorship, Rob Gamble could be seen in the background, walking into a closet FULL of Wilson volleyballs.
(He continues to walk off, but stops suddenly.
He spots a sign that says "Welcome to the Hoover Dam" and then immediately places a PSI sticker on it before walking off. Fade to black.)
Is there really a sign like that? Probably not. Anyway, that's a reference to the fact that at the time, Jay Zee had formed his own renegade PSI force, known as "The Real PSI." In protest, I would go around claiming things in the name of the "TRUE PSI" with those stickers. It was a fun angle that culminated in our ladder match for the rights to PSI (which I won by the way...go me!) Well that was short, but sweet. I really liked that roleplay and I find it amazing just how good it was actually. It had a little bit of everything...me being a jerk, The Boy hitting on women, reference to current angles, references (gasp!) to wrestling - for once, some random wackiness, trademark Scott Hellings cockiness, and even some useful information as well. Big pat on the back to me for pumping out something so good, so fast. Well until next time...
  
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