commentary: PSI IN JOLLY OLD ENGLAND

Alright, welcome aboard for another roleplay commentary. This is perhaps my second-most famous roleplay, PSI in Jolly Old England. This roleplay was also quite popular at the time, with several members commenting on how much they loved it. Donte' Rocker even told me he read it to his wife because he loved it so much. I worked on this a bit with Thom, which I think made it even more insane...in a good way. Basically, this whole thing came about because "Dinner and a Movie" got such a great response, I wanted to pump out anothe classic roleplay, as I did not want to be a sort of a "one hit wonder." So I wanted to do something that was sort of similar. So for pretty much the first time ever I sat down to come up with ideas for roleplays, hoping to come across something that would allow me to do another memorable roleplay. I thought of one of my favourite shows, The Simpsons and they are constantly travelling to foreign lands and how easy it is to just make fun of a country's stereotypes for cheap laughs. So I settled on the idea of going somewhere and I picked England, because it was probably the one overseas location I knew the most about and I felt that most people would understand too (RWW seemed to have a lot of British members at the time). As luck would have it, I got a match with Lancelot almost immediately, so I got to run with this idea. Is it a good roleplay? Let's see.

(The scene opens up outside Big Ben in London, England. The camera pans a bit to the left and we see PSI. Damon Gest and Jay Zee are both wearing shirts that say "I AM Canadian." The Boy is wearing his "Greatest IC Champ" shirt and has his title over his shoulder. MC Tommy Dee is wearing a suit of armour and is holding a shield that displays the Saskatchewan flag. Damon Gest is looking at a map trying to find where they are exactly.)

Actually, interesting point: I put the Canadian and Saskatchewan references in there because Canadian travel agencies actually tell you that if you are going to be travelling abroad to ensure that you put a Canadian flag somwhere on you so that it is displayed prominently. The reason being that if people know you are Canadian they will treat you better and not try to rip you off...as much. It has actually been proven that if tey think you are American they will not be as nice to you. True story. Everyone hates America I guess. Tommy got a Saskatchewan flag because at universtiy his friends referred to him as Captain Saskatchewan. The suit of armour thing seemed amusing to me at first but, don't worry, I will kill it soon enough. Thom loved the idea though.

MR. STYLE-
"Scotty, this is perhaps the dumbest thing we have ever done."

HELLINGS-
"What do you mean?"

MR. STYLE-
"Well, we just finished Fire and now here we are in London. We get to be here for a couple of hours and then we have to go back for Monday Gold. Do you have any idea how tired we are going to be?"

HELLINGS-
"I know, I know. It can't be helped! You know I like to try and get an understanding of my opponents! And on Monday I must face Lancelot. And seeing as he is from England I thought I might want to come here and get a feeling for it."

So there you go, the whole reason I'm here: to study my opponent by getting an idea for what his culture is like. Expect as many British references as possible. I miss that gimmick of studying up on my opponents. If nothing else, it made it really easy to come up with RP ideas.

(MC Tommy Dee mutters something that no one can understand. Jay opens the face shield on the armour.)

MR. STYLE-
"You have to have this open if you want to speak, dummy!"

This is where it all goes downhill for the suit of armour.

MC TOMMY DEE-
"Sorry. Hey! Can we go and find the frozen corpse of Churchill?"

HELLINGS-
"You're thinking of the frozen corpse of Lenin in Russia, I think."

I always think it's creepy when they have bodies of famous people lying out in the open like that. I have no idea why I mentioned this. It could have been some sort of strange, obscure reference to the statue of Winston Churchill that stands outside of my old high school, but I don't remember.

MC TOMMY DEE-
"Whatever."

HELLINGS-
"Come on. Let's go get something to eat."

DAMON GEST-(In a bad impression of Austin Powers)
"Yeah baby-tastic!"

(The other three look at Damon and shake their heads, completely confused. They walk in off in search of food as the camera fades out. The camera comes back on with PSI sitting at a table in a small diner. All four members are reading menus.)

MR. STYLE-(Slams his menu down)
"Does anyone have any idea what half of this crap is?"

HELLINGS-
"Heck no! Bangers and mash? What the heck is that?"

I'm pretty sure you can't refer to Britain without mentioning British cuisine. It's become quite the staple of modern comedy.

(The waitress comes over to the table as the camera pans out slightly.)

WAITRESS-
"What can I get for you?"

HELLINGS-
"I'll have a vodka martini. Shaken, not stirred."

I'm a big Bond nut, so I had to make sure there was a James Bond reference in here. Hey, he's British. It works!

WAITRESS-(Rolls her eyes)
"Yeah, I'll get right on that."

MR. STYLE-
"Can you recommend something here?"

WAITRESS-
"How about fish and chips four times with a pot of tea?"

I actually bastardized that line from "Are You Being Served?," which was one of my favourite shows when I was a kid. I don't know why exactly. So not only is this roleplay about England, I'm even making obscure references to British TV shows.

SCOTT, TOMMY AND JAY-
"Whatever."

(The waitress begins writing it down on her pad of paper.)

Despite the ease of the order, never mind the fact that it was her idea, the waitress feels the need to WRITE THAT ORDER DOWN.

DAMON GEST-(In the same bad Austin Powers impression)
"Do I make you horny-ful, babysaurus?"

I think that's a strange way of me insulting this guy that I used to go to high school with, who had a bad habit of quoting "Austin Powers" ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME. As much as I loved the original film, I'm glad that the Austin Powers craze seems to have died off. By the way, between this and "Wayne's World," I'm pretty sure that Mike Myers has some sort of magical ability to come up with catchphrases. The only person who might have him beat is Jim Carrey. Notice they're both Canadian. Go team!

(The waitress just looks at Damon and runs away. The other three are completely confused.)

HELLINGS-(Looks out the window)
"Hey! That's Goldfinger! We have to stop him!"

Hey look! A convenient way to get out of this scene that's going nowhere!

(Hellings gets up from his table and runs out of the diner after the man he mistook for the fictional character.)

MC TOMMY DEE-
"It's probably better this way."

MR. STYLE-
"Yeah but who's got the money? Do you Tommy?"

MC TOMMY DEE-(Points to his suit of armour and replies sarcastically)
"Oh yeah, they have tons of pockets in these things!"

I love the idea they were okay with getting rid of me, but had to go after me when they realized I had all the money. Although, there's a minor plot hole here: they are worried about paying for the food...so they run out of the diner without paying. A true dine and dash if ever there was one.

(The three just look at each other and then they realise that Scott is the only one with money. They get up from their table and also join in the quest to maim the elderly man who kinda looks like the guy who played Goldfinger.)

DAMON GEST-(Shouting after Hellings)
"Waitabotomy Scotty!"

(The camera show The Boy who stops for a moment, so they can catch up.)

HELLINGS-
"Hurry! We can't lose him!"

(The camera cuts back to show MC Tommy Dee desperately trying to run in his suit of armour, but to no avail.)

The idea of Tommy trying to run in a suit of armor is humorous to me. Don't worry, I'll try to use that joke as much as possible too. It's sort of one of the inherent flaws of this roleplay that I keep Thom in the armour the whole time. Theoretically, I should have had him only wear it for a scene or two, then have it disapppear. In animation, you'll notice that there is a so-called "flexible reality" where characters will wear a watch one second, and then not the next. Basically, it's only there when it needs to be. That's what I should have done with the armour. But, instead, I beat it to death.

MC TOMMY DEE-
"Wait!"

(The camera cuts back to the other three, who run back for Tommy Dee.)

HELLINGS-
"Well I hope you're happy! He got away!"

MR. STYLE-
"It wasn't really him, man."

(MC Tommy Dee tries to say he's sorry, but the face guard falls again and it is all muffled. Hellings rolls his eyes. The camera cuts back to the diner and it shows the waitress and a burly cook screaming at them.)

HELLINGS-
"Well now we'll never know, will we? You know, we could have got a huge reward for hauling him in! I bet we could have got five hundred dollars!"

MR. STYLE-
"You mean pounds."

I'm surprised there wasn't a joke about weight in here. It seems so logical. At least make fun of how worthless British money is (with the joke being that Canadian money tradtionally is worth less). Instead, I totally blew that opportunity. Oh well, it's for the best I'm sure.

(The camera cuts back to show the waitress)

WAITRESS-
"Hey! You have to pay for your food! Get back here!"

Well at least someone was aware of that fact.

DAMON GEST-
"Dudeicus! We should run!"

HELLINGS-
"What about Tommy?"

DAMON GEST-
"I'm prepared to take that lossapalooza."

HELLINGS-
"You just want his hardcore title, don't you?"

DAMON GEST-(Hangs his head in shame)
"Maybe."

That's right, we all hate each other, but only stay together for material gain. Just like true friends.

MR. STYLE-
"Come on! There's a bus! Get on, quick!"

(The go over to the bus stop and get on quick. Hellings just grabs a seat on the bottom floor of the double-decker, as does Jay. Damon Gest keeps running from level to level, just to prove he can. MC Tommy Dee tries to run from level too, but is weighed down by his suit and can't move too quickly and eventually passes out. The camera cuts to Jay, who is sitting beside an attractive woman.)

You also can't go to England without a double-decker bus making an appearance somewhere. It's required. Do they even use those anymore really? I'm sure it's just a cultural stereotype, much like people assume Mounties ALWAYS wear their red outfits (FYI: those are only for formal occassions).

MR. STYLE-
"Hi there, I'm Jay. I'm new in town and I was wondering if you would like to show me around."

(The woman smiles at Jay revealing her horrible teeth. Jay retracts back in fear.)

You also can't go without making a cliched reference to bad British teeth. Where did that even start? I've never noticed that myself. But I guess where did people get the idea that Canadians say "aboot?" I've lived here all my life and I've never heard one person say it. I'm just going to blame Americans. Everyone hates them anyway. Or so travel agencies tell me.

MR. STYLE-
"There is no God!"

That line is cribbed from "The Simpsons," when Lisa gets braces. The cameraman on school picture day tells her to smile and she does, revealing her hideous braces. To which he replies, "there is no God." See? I just rip off everyone. "PSI in Jolly Old England:" Featuring 53% new content. If you're a "Simpsons" fan, you'll note that the previous line was also ripped off. I just can't help myself.

(The camera cuts to the bus driver, who stops the bus.)

BUS DRIVER-
"Alright! I have had enough of these idiots running from level to level! All four of you, shove off!"

(The four members of PSI get kicked off the bus. They look around and they see that they are across the street from a bar called The Rogue's Den. They believe that is Sycho Sid's bar.)

RWW's Sycho Sid supposedly had a bar, which is where a lot of his roleplays took place. The bar often featured people locked in battles to the death, for no apparent reason. Again, one of the many things I didn't get about Sid. The guy who handled Sid was from England I believe, so I put a reference in there, sort of as a shout out.

MR. STYLE-
"Should we go in?"

DAMON GEST-(Giving a thumbs up)
"Shagadelic-oppotamus!"

MR. STYLE-
"Damon, you have to stop bastardizing Austin Powers! It is getting annoying hearing these lines over and over!"

HELLINGS-
"He's right, buddy."

DAMON GEST-(Shocked)
"Et tu Scotty?"

MR. STYLE-(Groans)
"PLEASE tell me he's not going to start doing Shakespeare!"

HELLINGS-
"Now you did it! You just put ideas in his head!"

If only I knew more Shakespeare quotes, Damon would speak more often. Well, I also have a tough time coming up with Damon's suffixes.

(A wicked smile crosses Damon's lips. They start to walk over to the bar, but stop. There is a scruffy looking guy standing outside of the establishment, glaring at them.)

HELLINGS-
"What's that guy's problem?"

MC TOMMY DEE-
"Maybe he is Lancelot's narrator guy. Can we go kick his ass?"

Lancelot had a narrator to his roleplays, who actually referred to himself as the narrator. It was odd and I never understood it myself, at least not entirely. It's pretty much the perfect example of metafiction I think. Nothing like breaking down that fourth wall.

(The camera cuts to the man.)

THE MAN FROM THE BAR-
" 'Ere! You're a right lot, ain't you? Specially the bloke with the gold. He's a bit of a looker!"

My awful attempt at British speech. Why is he gay? No one knows. Actually, to refer back to Mounties for a second, I heard somewhere that the gay British community really loves calendars of Canadian Mounties. So I guess it all ties in somehow. At least I'll lie and tell myself that.

(They look at Scott. He puts his hand on Damon's shoulder.)

HELLINGS-
"We should go."

Another horrible inside joke. Every year my friends and I go to garage sales around town. When we're at a sale and we want to leave, we put a hand on someone else's shoulder, as our silent signal that "we should go."

MC TOMMY DEE-
"No, let me challenge him to a duel first!"

(MC Tommy Dee goes to take off his glove from his armor suit. Damon tries to get him to stop. Dee finally gets it off and swings wildly.)

MC TOMMY DEE-
"I challlenge thee to a duel!"

(The glove hits Gest right in the face, hard.)

I stole that bit about challenging someone to a duel with an armoured glove from Bugs Bunny. Is there anything original in here? Probably not.

MR. STYLE-
"Are you alright?"

DAMON GEST-
"Aye, 'tis a scratch. 'Tis but a scratch-icus!"

MR. STYLE-
"Someone shoot me."

Actually, the reason I know that line is because of Thom. See, when we were in grade 10, our English teacher made everyone act out a scene from Romeo and Juliet. My group got the scene where Mercutio is killed. Thom played Mercutio. And, you don't really realize it until you're acting in a scene, but Mercutio talks for some time before he actually dies. So Thom's lying on the ground, reading off dozens and dozens of lines, while the rest of us are just standing there, waiting for him to die. It took forever. I blamed Thom for overacting though, which is ironic because he's supposed to be an actor. Anyway, that's my random story.

(They run away from the bar. Damon clutches his forehead. The camera fades out. The scene opens up again in Sherwood Forest. Dee is still wearing his armour and Scott and Damon are wearing the same outfit as before. However, Jay Zee is wearing green tights and a Robin Hood hat.)

MR. STYLE-
"Why do I have to wear this stupid costume?"

HELLINGS-
"Well Tommy is already wearing the armour and me and Damon can't fit into it."

MR. STYLE-
"Do you REALLY need it though?"

HELLINGS-
"It's all about atmosphere, Jay! We are in Sherwood Forest, home of Robin Hood! I need someone to dress up like Robin Hood so I can get a good feeling for it."

Everything and anything I can think of is in here. I actually had relatives who lived in Sherwood Forest back in the day, which is probably the only reason why I thought of this reference. I wanted to also make a reference to Robin Hood flour, but I was unsure if others would have understood.

MC TOMMY DEE-
"Dude, we aren't gonna like steal from the rich and give to the poor, are we?"

HELLINGS-
"No...unless the opportunity presents itself. However, until then - Jay?"

MR. STYLE-
"Oh no!"

HELLINGS-
"Oh yes. You know what I want. You have to lead us. After all, you are MR. Style and this DOES require someone with style."

MR. STYLE-
"Fine! But you owe me. BIG!"

(The four get into a line and turn their backs to the camera.)

MR. STYLE-(In a monotone, uninterested voice)
"Ready?"

DAMON, THE BOY AND TOMMY DEE-
"READY!"

(The four turn around to face the camera once more.)

MR. STYLE-(Singing)
"We're men. We're men in tights."

DAMON, THE BOY AND TOMMY DEE-(Singing)
"TIGHT, TIGHTS!"

MR. STYLE-(Still singing)
"We roam under the country looking for fights!"

I love Mel Brooks and this film in particular. Plus, it was an excuse for me to include something else that I stole from someone else. For a supposedly classic roleplay, there's not a lot of original material here, huh?

(The four of them pretend to get into a fight, but Tommy can't. He is too weighed down from the suit of armor. All of a sudden the camera swings left and we see the man outside The Rogue's Den leaning on a tree.)

THE MAN FROM THE BAR-
" 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! You likes it rough, do ya?"

HELLINGS-
"Okay, this is getting creepy. Someone must have invited that guy!"

DAMON GEST-
"There is something rotten in the state of Denmarkitis!"

I'm impressed I could name this many Shakespeare quotes. By the way, how does that guy keep following us around? It's some sort of creepy gay British guy superpower. Which is at least better than my superpower (DON'T ASK).

HELLINGS-
"Was it you Tommy?"

(MC Tommy Dee just pretends not to look at The Boy.)

HELLINGS-
"Tommy?!"

(MC Tommy Dee pulls the face guard down so he can't reply.)

Must....beat...joke...to...death.

HELLINGS-
"I hate you. Come on, let's get out of here!"

(The four run away. Well, Tommy can't run too fast and neither can Jay. The tights are kind of......chaffing a bit. The scene fades out and comes back in again inside the subway station.)

MR. STYLE-
"So is this the...uh tube?"

HELLINGS-
"I think so."

DEE AND GEST-
"TUBULAR!"

Actually that is something I would say. Even though I'm pretty sure no one has used that phrase since the early 90s. I remember The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles used it a lot, but they also used "Cowabunga," so that's not any better.

HELLINGS-
"I hate you both!"

MC TOMMY DEE-
"Sorry mate! Bob's your uncle!"

I don't think this is quite British enough...keep stuffing it full of references until it explodes. Actually, for what it's worth, my buddy Braden has an uncle named Bob and I said that to him and it totally went over his head. What a knob.

HELLINGS-
"What about my uncle Bob?"

MC TOMMY DEE-
"I....uh...."

(MC Tommy Dee trails off and shuts the face guard again. Hey don't mind me, I'm just beating this dead horse! They all shake their heads in disbelief. The train stops and they get aboard. MC Tommy Dee is having troubles finding the door, as he can't see with the face guard down. He bumbs into a few people and finally gets inside. They sit down in seperate seats. Sitting beside Hellings is a man reading a newspaper. Hellings says hello to him, but the man pretends to ignore him.)

HELLINGS-
"Dude? Are you still alive over there?"

MAN WITH THE PAPER-
"Leave me alone!"

HELLINGS-
"You're not that guy from the bar again, are you?"

(A voice is heard from over Hellings' shoulder.)

THE MAN FROM THE BAR-
"I'm over here sweetie!"

Well hopefully this train takes us to the next plot point because we seem to be going in circles.

HELLINGS-
"Get em Damon!"

(Damon Gest gets out of his seat and rushes the man from the bar. The man beside Scott throws his paper down, he is upset with the violence around him. The man reveals himself as...Ringo Starr of The Beatles.)

I loved the idea of Damon ruthlessly beating people at the drop of a hat. And you just HAVE to make a reference to the Fab Four while talking about England. Why did I include Ringo Starr? I don't know, he seemd like the only Beatle that I knew that I was still alive and well. Also, he was on "The Simpsons," and that evidently dictates everything I do so...

HELLINGS-
"Ringo Starr!"

MC TOMMY DEE-
"Dude! I love The Doors!"

I love the idea that Tommy thinks Ringo Starr was with The Doors.

MR. STYLE-
"Sing something for us."

Do you think he gets that request far too much? It's kinda like when people say "you're funny" and then someone says "say something funny." It just doesn't happen people. Especially not in this roleplay.

RINGO-
"No, I don't think so. Besides, I need some music."

HELLINGS-
"Damon?"

(Damon Gest breaks Legatosis on the man from the bar. He pulls out a discman and presses play and "I Want To Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles begins to play.)

Where did Damon pull that from? I guess he has that awesome ability that cartoon characters have to be able to pull anything they want and need out of nowhere. I'm so jealous. Why doesn't he pull out a giant gimmick hammer to use on the guy from the bar? Or drop an anvil on him? No, not THE Anvil, AN anvil. I'm sure Jim Neidhart has better things to do. Or...not.

RINGO-
"You're daft, you know that-right?"

HELLINGS-
"Just sing, buddy!"

I have the power to make Ringo Starr do my bidding.

(Ringo, Hellings, Jay, Damon and MC Tommy Dee start singing along to the song. The man from the bar gets up and starts singing with them.)

ALL-
"Hey you! I'll tell you something-I'll think you'll understand. When I say something-I wanna hold your hand!"

First Beatles song that I could think of the lyrics to. Sad, I know.

THE MAN FROM THE BAR-(Looking at Hellings)
"Do you really, mate? You want to hold me hand?"

HELLINGS-
"Okay! That is it!"

Yeah even I want to kill him. Although that was somewhat witty. You know, I think the guy from the bar has more lines than I do. I need a new agent or something.

(Hellings jumps the man from the bar. He starts pounding away on him. The camera cuts to Jay and Ringo. Mr. Style puts his hand on Ringo's shoulder.)

MR. STYLE-
"We should go."

(Damon is taking bets on the fight from everyone on the tube. MC Tommy Dee's face guard falls down again and he is completely unaware as to what is going on. While, we cannot hear what he is saying, it is obvious that he is still singing. Ringo Starr walks over to Tommy and lifts the guard.)

MC TOMMY DEE-
"Thanks!"

RINGO-
"I bet it felt like you were in a Yellow Submarine in there, huh?"

I love to think that Ringo Starr goes around making jokes based off Beatles lyrics. I know I would.

(Ringo smiles at his own joke, but Tommy shrugs and doesn't get it. Ringo slams the faceguard shut again and storms off. The conductor comes by to kick them all off.)

CONDUCTOR-
"Right! All of you trouble makers, get off!"

DAMON GEST-(Turns towards the sound of the conductor's voice.)
"Hark! What light through yonder window breaks-aroni?"

MR. STYLE-
"Man! Anyone who works for public transit sure has an attitude over here, don't they?"

I can't explain why, but when you sum up something by describing it in a large, general term like "public transit" it sounds funny to me. It just seems funnier than saying "Anyone we've encountered here has an attitude" or even "Anyone who drives here..." Just one of those inexplicable comedy bits I guess. Sort of like how pants are hilarious, but no one knows why exactly.

(The conductor pushes them out the door. They get off the tube and find themselves outside again. They are standing along the Thames River.)

I'll literally mention every British reference I can think of here dammit. Expect something about Margaret Thatcher to follow shortly I'm sure.

MR. STYLE-
"Man, I could really go for a dip!"

I think PSI has ADD or something. Why do they want to go swimming? What motivation is there? I don't get it.

HELLINGS-
"Isn't it going to be horribly cold?"

MR. STYLE-
"Maybe. I don't care though!"

(Jay runs towards the river. Hellings and Damon shrug their shoulders and run off too. The Boy spins around to face MC Tommy Dee.)

HELLINGS-
"You coming man?"

MC TOMMY DEE-
"I would, but I think I might rust out...or sink or something. Besides it takes a REALLY long time to get this off!"

HELLINGS-
"Your loss man."

(Gest, Hellings and Jay Zee jump into the river. Almost immediately they realise that is VERY cold. They are shivering and are trying to get out.)

Is it even safe to swim in the Thames? Probably not. Why can't they get out exactly? That part was never made abundantly clear. I guess you just accept at face value that they can't possibly escape.

MR. STYLE-
"Tommy! Help us!"

MC TOMMY DEE-
"Uh...can you wait a minute?"

JAY, HELLINGS AND GEST-
"NO!!!!!"

(MC Tommy Dee tries to get to the river, but can't. The trio are freezing. Suddenly, the camera swings back to show Ringo Starr appear with a rope in hand to save them. He pulls them in.)

RINGO-
"I just happened to be walking by and I just had to help out. Besides, you guys kinda sounded pretty good back there."

Yeah, I don't get that logic either.

HELLINGS-(Singing)
"I get by with a little help from my friends!"

MR. STYLE-
"Man! I'm glad you didn't just Let It Be!"

(They all laugh at the corny joke)

MC TOMMY DEE-
"Yeah, you really 'Broke On Through To the Other Side!' "

Okay, I find that quite funny. Keep in mind that I'm a dork though.

(The laughter stops)

RINGO-
"Stupid git."

I HAD to fit "git" into this somewhere. I love British slang, it's so much better than North American slang, isn't it? Although I will forver remain true to my Saskatchewan roots and will forever be adament that it is called a bunnyhug, NOT a hoody. Still, git is such an awesome word. I always want to call people that, but then I think I'm just trying to sound British and that's always annoying.

(Damon slams the face guard down again. Ringo walks off, sighing.)

YES! More face guard jokes! MORE!

DAMON GEST-
"I bite my thumb at thee sir-ology!"

(Damon glares at Tommy at bites his thumb.)

DAMON GEST-
"OUCH!"

Damon really is mentally unstable, isn't he?

HELLINGS-
"Come on, we got to get out of here for Monday Gold."

(The four walk off. The scene fades out and comes back inside Heathrow Airport. Hellings is walking through the metal detector. The man in charge of it is not paying attention. The alarm goes off.)

AIRLINE WORKER-
"Oh, excuse me sir. I need to get you to take off your belt there."

(Hellings flinches back and has a crazed look in his eyes.)

Ah yes, back when I was in love with my title. I miss those days.

MR. STYLE-
"He shouldn't have done that!"

MC TOMMY DEE-
"I can't look!"

(Dee tries to turn his back to the scene, but it too hard to move in the suit. He finally just shrugs his shoudlers and closes the guard down again. The camera cuts back to Hellings and the man.)

HELLINGS-
"I don't think so!"

AIRLINE WORKER-
"Sir, please!"

Obviously written before 9/11. The Boy would have been shot five times over already for disobeying airline security these days.

(Hellings jumps the man and delivers the Chokeslam to HELLings. MC Tommy Dee, Jay and Damon start fighting with random airport staff members. Finally, some security guards come in and drag them all away.)

HELLINGS-
"Hey! You guys don't look like bobbies! If I'm going to get arrested, I want it to be by British Bobbies, dammit!"

That's a good point actually. In fact, I personally condone you going over to England and making a ruckus until you're arrested—but ONLY by Bobbies...just for the experience. I'm such a good role model.

(The camera cuts to Damon Gest, as he too is getting dragged away.)

DAMON GEST-
"We never saw them, though they came right for us.
Aye, there's the rub-SUCKASAURUS!"

(End.)

That's a great closing line, written in the style of Shakespeare's rhyming couple. Note that I even said "end" instead of "fade to black." I am SO smart. *cough* Well that's it for this one. I suppose if you want a lot of British references this would be ideal for you. Or, if you like reading someone rip other, better writers, this would be enjoyable on that level too. Not a bad roleplay, just probably not deserving of the praise it received. Anyway, that's it for me. (Closes face guard so I don't have to speak anymore). Later.

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