The Gist of It: NOTE: I don't have a VCR in my dorm room, and I'm not going to be able to download the episode until later (as I'm trying to download a bunch of Oz eps *lurves them*), so this recap will be but a simple summary until I get the ep downloaded. And so, if there's something wrong in the review, don't email me correcting it, as a real recap will be up later, error-free. If there's an error in the real recap, then sure, tell me about it. I already know about one in the last recap that I'll probably, uh, never fix. Now, onto the mini-recap.

Apocalypse takes a trip to Mexico, where he does some shit that glows. Some guy lurks around Magneto's brand spankin' new Sphinxy headquarters, only to be accosted by Gambit. I zone out briefly because I'm tired of Gambit getting a disproportionate amount of screen time/lines in comparison to all the characters I actually like, and the next thing I know, we're back at the Institute. Beast and the Prof talk about their shiny new Mystique statue and how they can't fix it or whatever. Logan talks to Rogue (Now with 105% more pure angst concentrate!) about stuff and tells her that they gave the Mystique statue to the Brotherhood. Oh yeah, REAL BRIGHT, GUYS.

Thankfully, the Prof's stupidity yields to some wonderful BH scenes! Todd dances around with the Mystique statue, Freddy wants to put it on the roof like a gargoyle (which only makes Mystique remind me even more of Demona), but they're thwarted by Pietro, who zips off with the statue and hides it somewhere. Clueless Lance opens the pantry door, only to have Mystique with her permanently bewildered expression fall on him. He gets cranky and avalanches, and I giggle.

Oh, and then some crap happens and I'm gonna write things out of order. Magneto (back at his HQ) bitches to Colossus for being late, then makes threats about letting Piotr see his family again. Petey gets pissed, unmetals, tries to attack Mags, but it stopped by Gambit. Oh yeah, and angry Magneto makes a very funny face. I can't remember if he does that in the beginning, or in this scene, but it's funny.

At the Institute, Kurt angsts because his mommy was given to the BH. He tries to talk to Rogue about it, but she's like "Good riddance to that bitch." He goes to the BH house and tries to take the statue, but Wanda stops him. He goes "But she's my mom" and Wanda's like "Oh, okay, then" and walks out the room. He takes her back to the Institute and talks to her, and Rogue comes in and is like "What the hell?! You brought the bitch back here?!" And for some reason, the whole Wanda/Rogue/Kurt family issues thing just reminds me of a shitty soap opera, and the music they play in this episode DOESN'T HELP AT ALL. Anyhow, Kurt thinks he sees a tear coming from the statue and takes it to the Prof and Beast, who say it's just condensation.

At some point, they get word that Apoc's in Mexico and go. Meanwhile, Magneto's like "Grr, I get Apocalypse" and makes a metal ball to fly away in. He won't let the Acolytes come because they're not good enough to go. Whatever. He flies away.

The X-Men arrive in Mexico and try to do various things to figure out how to get past Apoc's glowing egg around some temple dealie. Nothing works. Magneto shows up and starts throwing shit at the glowing egg (hehe, primate Mags!), but that doesn't work. So he yoinks some satellites from space and throws them at Apoc's glowing egg. This finally annoys Apoc enough to get out of his protective egg and make Magneto explode into little sparklies. Gee. That wasn't lame at all.

Oh yeah, at some earlier point, Kurt asks Wanda if she can arrange a meeting with Agatha Harkness. And so, he's waiting at some foggy gazebo with the Mystique staute, and ol' Aggie shows up. She's all "Oh, Rogue can make Mystique allll better." Rogue shows up, Aggie says all she has to do is touch Mysti for a moment, just long enough for Mystique to gain control of her own abilities again or something. So Rogue makes like she's going to, then shoves the statue off the cliff that the foggy gazebo was on. Oops. Kurt goes "Noooo!" in slow-mo, which winds up being more "laughably stupid" then "touching and sad". He bamfs down to the crumbled remains of the statue and bad soap opera music plays. Y'know the kind I'm talking about. The really bad stuff that plays whenever the evil twin sister does something suitably eeeevil to the protagonist to thicken the plot.

Brotherhood Moments: The BH only have two scenes, but both are amusing. Yay! They just goof around with the statue and make Lance pissy.

My Opinion: I hate this episode. It was stupid. Stupid stupid hate. I'm gonna go back to watching Oz now. MmmmSchibetta. MmmmAlvarez.

Rating (out of 5): 1

BH Babble:
Ergh.