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Uncanny X-Men 226 - Fall of the Mutants: Go Tell the Spartans

Featuring: Freedom Force

The Gist of It: I think my head would explode if I tried to summarize the Fall of the Mutants storyline. Uh, as far as this issue goes, the world's doing the time warp. I mean, like, you know Final Fantasy VIII? With the time compression? That's basically what's going on in this issue. There's this big battle with the X-Men vs. Freedom Force, but it ends once they realize that the problem's bigger than both of them and this could very well be the end of the world. Wolvie and Mystique call a truce, and the teams pair up to try and stop the problem. It's really neat. :D

Since the world's doing the time warp, this big T-Rex (which, if you're a dinosaur buff like I was, you'll notice that it's standing the wrong way :P) pops up in a mall and starts wrecking things. Longshot tries to save some kiddles, but doesn't know how to stop the dinosaur. He's like "Damn, we're screwed." And then! It turns out Pyro's there! And he's like "Right you are, laddie-buck, oh chum of little faith (the boy says some of the weirdest things O.o). But not the way you think!" And with that, he makes a big fire bird that roasts the dinosaur, burning all of the meat off and leaving the bones. :D I Looooove him! "Sorry for the mess, cobber. Couldn't be helped, y'know. Nice set o' bones, though. Got a museum here-bouts could use 'em?" "Thank you, Pyro, you saved us." "That I did, an' in fine style, too!" (HEHE! Pyro, Longshot, and Pyro again) And then he strikes this "I'm a cool hero!" pose and looks really cute. I love him. Errrg.

Back to the rest of Dallas, it looks like the Vikings (or the Huns?) are attacking some cars, and stuff, but are stopped by Super Sabre running around and Wolverine slashing at them. Then there's some stuff between Forge and Storm in Lala Land. Back to Dallas again, this bitchy news reporter is interviewing Mystique and Havok on how the X-Men usually suck, but they're helping people now, so Havok's like "Listen, ho, we've always helped people! Only difference is NOW you're letting people see it on tv!" and Mystique looks kinda proud of him and they leave to fight some more badness.

Then there's more Storm stuff in Lala Land. Back in Dallas again, Crimson Commando and Stonewall are helping civilians escape to safety (man, I LOVE Freedom Force ^^) when an Indian war party ride in. They know what's going on, as it's something that I guess is a part of their legends, and offer peace with Commando to team up and solve the problem. It turns out that Forge was their medicine man (and they're Cheyenne, so now I know what tribe Forge is!) and he knows how to stop the problem-- but he's in Lala Land at the moment. >.< And then, some stupid redneck shoots the Indian Chief and the rest of the hicks begin to fire at them all, and... and... that part made me really really sad. Commando kneels beside the body and says to Stonewall: "He came to us in friendship, Stoney. Offering help against a common foe. Didn't matter that our two peoples were age-old enemies. To him, we were ALL human beings. But we killed him anyway. You ever wonder sometimes... whether we even deserve to be saved?" Poor Commando! It wasn't your fault those hicks killed the Indians!

Then cut back to Storm and Forge in Lala Land again. >.> And back in Dallas! People are fighting against the mean horde peoples (at least they're not shooting innocent Indians anymore >.>) and the X-Men/Freedom Force are starting to tire. Mystique and Wolvie talk kinda... whimsically, and Colossus is comforting Destiny in a really sweet scene. She's surprised that he's there, sicne it wasn't in any timelines, but she says that for the X-Men, there's death no matter what, even though the rest of the world has a small chance. Er.. lessee.... Spiral falls out of the sky, is caught by Rogue who then falls, and they're saved by Blob, of all people. Hehe. Oh yeah. Apparently, Pyro's vaporized by this point :P There's MORE Forge/Storm stuff... Then more battles in Dallas annnd... the X-Men decide to sacrifice themselves to save the world. It's saaad!!! They make their goodbyes, and I think my favorite one is Rogue's with Mystique. "Wish us luck, y'all. Love to Destiny, Mystique. Be seein' you... [mom!]" (er, she's thinking "mom", doesn't say it) and I was like "AWWW! Sappinesssss!" And then they X-Men sacrifice themselves and Freedom Force runs off to save more civvies-- OH HEY!! I just realized that Pyro's actually in the very end of this issue saying "Where'd this wind come from?!" with Commando responding: "Who cares, Pyro? It's picking up strength every second. We have to exacuate blah blah" and Blob's like "Place is crazy! I HATE crazy!" and picks up Mystique and runs to safety, hehehe. And that's the end of this issue.

BH Moments: Man, Freedom Force is in this A LOT. But as far as the BH characters in FF, uhhh... really, Mystique has tons of really good moments, Blob has a good scene at the end, Pyro's got the cute dinosaur part, and... uh... Avalanche does... nothing, really. O.o

Characterization: Must read for characterization! Must!! It shows Freedom Force as heroes, and how they're staying behind in Dallas to help the civilians out, annd and.. oh man! It's just great! The scene with Commando and the Indian Chief made me so very sad, and then Pyro and Longshot made me laugh (Pyro's always good for that :P), Blob shows how he really IS loyal to Mystique, and... and... it's just great. :D I even liked the Wolverine/Mystique conversation, and I don't even LIKE Wolvie that much! If you can, get this issue! Sure, it's about... 13 years old, but... get it!

My Opinion: Ohhh man. This issue came out when I was about... well, a little kid who couldn't read. ^^; So, obviously, I didn't actually get it until a few months ago. This means that it's old. And I already knew the outcome. And STILL! It almost made me cry! Probably because I read it late late at night, and everything late late at night makes me wanna cry. But maaan, I think this is one of my favorite issues.

Rating (out of 5): 5! I almost wanted to extend this to a 1-10 scale just so I can give this ish a 10!!

Art Rating (out of 5): 5, for it's time. Great art for an old issue :D Or maybe, again, I'm biased... O.o

BH Babble:

: Hah! Take THAT, Barney!
: Where the hell was I in this issue?!
: Er, who cares? Lookit Freddy! He actually did somethin' cool!
: Well, I AM da man.
: Nuh uh! I am!
: ...



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