by Trish Williams
CHAPTER
THREE
~
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
She
is a goa’uld now.
Teal’c wrestled with that thought as he
headed to the infirmary along with his teammates. Their hasty journey was a direct result of a routine debriefing
being interrupted with news that Lieutenant Johnson had awakened and was well
enough to speak. Granted their working
relationship was quite tenuous ever since the whole ‘Caveman virus’
incident. And his disapproving attitude
towards his dating Kayla didn’t help, but he still had respect for the Tau’ri
warrior. Johnson was the key to what
had happened on the planet. He had so
many questions to ask him and hoped he would be able to answer them, especially
where Kayla was concerned.
He remembered looking
into her face as her Jaffa trained their weapons on him. It was as if she didn’t know him. And what made things worse was all of that
anger and hurt she had towards him, the goa’uld was more than likely feeding
off of. But there had to be something
left of the host that made the goa’uld leave him and Jack on the planet instead
of taking them as prisoners or killing them outright. Teal’c shuddered inwardly as he remembered all the times as First
Prime of Apophis, he’d been ordered to capture humans for goa’uld absorption or
just kill them.
Suddenly a vision flashed
before him.
He was in the grips of a
ribbon device being held by Kayla. The
malevolent look on her face made it seem as if she looked forward to his death
with unholy anticipation.
Please,
Kayla, do not do this, he pleaded.
My
host cannot help you, the goa’uld said.
She does not want to help you.
She wants you dead.
Then
suddenly he heard gunshots.
As quickly as the vision
had appeared it disappeared. Teal’c
shook his head and let the experience roll off like water from a duck’s back.
“That was a quick
turnaround,” Hammond said as they met up with Janet outside of the infirmary.
“There’s a reason for
that,” the petite doctor said, suddenly looking nervous. “He’s got a goa’uld in him.”
“What!” Hammond
exclaimed, obviously not happy a goa’uld had slipped in under their noses. He
turned to Sam for an explanation.
“Major Carter, I thought you said you couldn’t sense anything?”
Sam just looked dumfounded. “I couldn’t, sir,” she explained. “And I couldn’t tell you why.”
“Shit!” Jack cursed. “So the jarhead has a snake in him?”
“It would appear so,”
Teal’c said with a groan. This was
definitely not a good situation to be in.
“So how do we proceed?”
Hammond asked.
“Act as if we know
nothing,” Teal’c responded as they entered the infirmary. “Soon the goa’uld will seek to indulge its
ego. Our faces are well known among
them. Interrogate him as if nothing has
happened.” As Doctor Frasier led them
to Lieutenant Johnson’s bed, he hoped they could extract some useful
information before the goa’uld took over.
He’d be damned if he was going to let his only lead on Kayla slip away.
“How ya feelin’?” Jack
asked the SG-3 Marine.
“Better,” Johnson said,
groaning a little as he shifted position on the bed. “The guy with the jackhammer in my head finally took a lunch
break.”
“Can you remember what
transpired on the planet?” Teal’c asked.
“Just bits and pieces,”
Johnson offered, seeming a little disappointed he didn’t have more to
give. “I remember it was dark. I was about to join some of the guys for a
poker game.” A reminiscent smile slowly
crossed his face. “But before I did, I
decided to check in on Doctor Porter.
See if she was okay.”
“Was there any reason for
her not to be?” Teal’c asked, not masking the disapproval in his voice. It bordered on jealousy.
“I was just being a
gentleman,” he said, picking up on Teal’c’s vibe. “Considering I’m a US Marine, and her protection was up to me and
my fellow Marines, it was prudent for me to check in on her. Understand?”
Yes
and no, he thought.
But Teal’c figured it wise not to bring it up at this time.
“So what happened next?”
Jack asked, giving Teal’c a brief look.
“On my way there I was
shot from behind,” he said, giving a strange look to the airman who stood off
in a corner. “Didn’t even see it
coming.”
“Was it a zatnikitel
blast?” Teal’c asked, folding his muscular arms in front of him. Johnson wasn’t impressed and it showed on
his face. After all, they were both
about the same in height and build.
“Don’t know,” Johnson
told him. “Never been hit by one
before. I felt more pain when I hit my
head than from being shot.”
“I can see that,” Jack
mumbled.
“When I came to, everyone
around me was dead and…” the SG-3 Marine was trying to remember something but
grew frustrated.
“Take your time,” Janet
reassured.
Teal’c moved closer to
Johnson’s bedside and said, “Interesting how everyone else was dead but you
managed to make it through the stargate.
How did that come to be?” It was
obvious he was either concealing something or the goa’uld was not allowing him
to remember.
“He took her,” Johnson
said slowly. “A damn snakehead took
her.”
“What goa’uld did you
see?” Teal’c pressed, moving closer to Johnson’s bedside. “Anubis?”
“No,” he said. Then suddenly his eyes glowed, signifying
the goa’uld had taken over. “I am
Anubis.”
The airmen cocked their
guns in his direction. Anubis laughed
at them through Johnson’s body, the sound making an eerie chorus with the
beeping monitors nearby. Teal’c stared
down the system lord, his mind racing to pull up everything he knew about
Anubis.
And
what he came up with was unsettling.
“Anubis,” Daniel said
incredulously. “God of the dead. Son of Osiris…or Set depending on what
version of the legend you believe.”
“Unless you allow me
passage through the Chappa’ai, your world is doomed,” Anubis declared, ignoring
Teal’c’s stare. “So harming this host
with your crude weapons will be futile.”
“You are in no position
to make demands,” Hammond said forcefully.
“Remember what happened
the last time we tried keeping a goa’uld prisoner here?” Daniel warned.
Teal’c remembered full
well what had happened when Apophis demanded sanctuary at the SGC. Sokar was relentless in pursuing him. And it wasn’t until they had sent the dead
goa’uld and the host body through the stargate to Sokar that the assault
ended. If this system lord’s demands to
be released were not met, the repercussions could be most disadvantageous for
Earth. The Tok’ra however, could take
the goa’uld into custody. The Jaffa
watched as Hammond reconsidered his position.
The truth of the matter was this goa’uld was in a position to make
demands.
“You are obviously their
leader,” Anubis said to Hammond. “Since
my quarrel is not with the Tau’ri, if you let me go I will not harm your
world. I will give you the symbols for
where to send me through the Chappa’ai.”
“General Hammond,” Teal’c
said urgently. “It would be most
prudent to send Anubis back through the stargate.”
“Mind telling me why?” he
asked.
Johnson’s brow
furrowed. “Tell them, Shol’va,” Anubis
commanded through him.
Teal’c shot him an angry
look and said, “Anubis is the trainer of the Ashrak.”
After hearing that, all
of them except Teal’c backed up a few paces.
“One of those things that
went after Carter?” Jack asked with a snort.
“I mean, Jolinar. I mean when
Carter was Jolinar…you know what I mean!”
“Yes, O’Neill,” he said, taking
a step back. “The Ashrak in turn train
the Jackal guards who are the foot soldiers in their service. These Jaffa are some of the most lethal. They would be, to turn a human phrase, a
Jaffa’s Jaffa.”
“Teal’c is right,” Jack
said. “One of their runts is about his size.
We barely got out of there alive.”
“They let us go,” Teal’c
explained as if insulted. “It was an
easy escape.”
Jack was stunned.
“Easy? You call that easy?” he asked
Teal’c. “Well, now that I think about
it…”
“I grow tired of your
posturing,” Anubis complained. “Either
you comply with my demands or I will bring havoc to your world.”
“One more thing,” Teal’c
growled, narrowing his gaze at Johnson’s body.
“Where is Doctor Porter?”
Anubis looked at Teal’c
and gave him a sinister smile which then twisted into malevolence. “Send me
back through the Chappa’ai immediately, or I will withdraw my offer.”
“Tell us of her
whereabouts,” Hammond pressed. Anubis
just looked at him strangely through Johnson’s eyes.
“You would sacrifice a
world for such knowledge?” Anubis questioned.
He had them there.
“Doctor, get the patient
ready to leave through the gate,” Hammond said, trying not to let defeat seep
into his speech. “Teal’c, you and the
airmen escort him to the gate room.”
Teal’c nodded then gave
Anubis a look of pure disgust. As far
as he was concerned, this goa’uld had something to do with what happened to
Kayla. Of that he was certain.
“You have chosen wisely,”
Anubis proclaimed, taking immense joy in knowing he’d won the standoff.
“So we’re just going to
let him walk out of here?” Jack protested.
“Sir,” Sam began, “if we
don’t let him go like he says, we could be facing a fleet of goa’uld mother
ships.”
“I thought the goa’uld
weren’t supposed to do that according to the treaty,” Hammond questioned.
“My new father has no
regard for the treaty,” Anubis said disdainfully. “Then again, I have no regard for him.”
“New father?” Daniel
asked.
“Yes,” he sneered.
Teal’c met his malevolent
gaze and said, “And who would that be?”
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Not
again, Apophis’ host lamented.
He had not always been
this monster. He had been a
well-respected scribe in the temple of Amun at Karnak. He had a beautiful wife and several
children; one of whom would be born soon.
As he rested under the shade of a palm tree at midday, he remembered the
midwife telling him the child would be born within two days, three at the most. The heat of the day lulled him to sleep and
when he awoke, guards with helmets, which looked like serpents dragged him
away. Soon after that, the demon had
invaded his body and stolen his soul.
For several millennia, the scribe often wondered if the unborn child
turned out to be a boy or a girl, and if his family ever forgave him for
leaving them and never coming back. He
wondered what it was he did to offend the Gods for them to curse him with such
a nightmare.
Once, after thousands of
years trapped within his own body, he finally thought the nightmare would be
over. The demon that had taken his soul
so long ago was dying, and he would finally see his wife and children. A man with blue eyes and glass circles on
his face had administered the rites, and promised him his body would be taken
back to his homeland for a long overdue eternal rest.
But it was not to be.
The demon had been
resurrected along with his body and the nightmare had begun again. Countless times he had died, and countless
times he had been resurrected for the sadistic pleasure of another demon who possessed
another unfortunate soul. The parasite
within him was quite avaricious, and had figured out a way not only to escape
his captor, but also kill him and take all of his wealth and riches. All he could do was watch helplessly through
eyes not controlled by him. Again, he
had been forced to sit and watch while the parasite within him performed
countless acts of atrocity.
Through eyes that used to
be his own, he watched the young female host Apophis had abducted. She stared wistfully out into space like an
exotic bird trapped in a cage. As with
various other females, he’d ordered her stripped naked for his pleasure. She tried to put on a brave front, but he
knew fear when he saw it. Shuddering,
he remembered her screams of terror as a demon like the one inside of him
forced its way into her body and stole her soul.
The nightmare for her was
just beginning, this he knew. Her pleas
to be released would go unheard, and she would watch helplessly as her body was
used for the perverse pleasure of the enemy within. All he could do was pray the demon inside of her would finally
succeed in using her to kill the one holding him prisoner, finally sending him
on his way to see his wife and children in the afterlife.
“Does your new host
please you, my love?” Apophis asked.
Nephthys continued to stare through a transparent wall into the darkness
of space using Kayla’s eyes.
“The body is young,
curvaceous and…fertile,” she said through Kayla’s vocal cords, still not
looking at Apophis. “How could I not be
pleased?” Her voice said otherwise.
“Then you hate me,” he
said, trying his best not to sound hurt.
Nephthys gave him a
knowing look over her shoulder. “I do
not love you enough to hate you,” she said with simplicity.
Apophis looked her up and
down, appraising her as if she were a fine statue. “You could grow to love me,”
he hinted, spreading his robes to show off his toned musculature. Nephthys let out a soft, wry laugh.
“I am the Mistress to the
Gods,” she declared, gently kicking the short train of her robes with her
foot. “Love is neither expected nor
required of me. And considering I am a
daughter of the house of Ra, and we are mortal enemies, my growing to love you
is not a viable option.”
That wasn’t what he
wanted to hear.
“Do you know how long I
have wanted you?” Apophis prompted, his eyes pleading for the attention she
refused to give. “To have you as my
Queen? When I saw you standing there
next to Sokar when he resurrected me for the first time, I knew your rightful
place was at my side.”
“You killed Sokar!” she
snapped in her goa’uld voice, her eyes glowing briefly at him. “I did not love him but I adored him. For you I do neither.”
Apophis smiled, realizing
he’d finally gotten to her. “You can never
have Osiris again,” he chided. “And
even if you could, he would never love you the way he loved Isis.”
“In the matters of love,
you know nothing!” she said, narrowing Kayla’s eyes at him. “And putting me into a body you lust after
will not endear you to me.”
Apophis realized he was
getting nowhere. He didn’t want to
speak to Nephthys right now anyway. He
was more interested in the body that held her.
“Tell me,” he implored,
watching as she turned her attention away from him. “What is your host contemplating at this moment?”
“She still pines for the
Shol’va,” she said, observing as a flanking scout ship passed by. “Yet she has quite a large amount of
contempt for him. It is that contempt,
which may keep her under control.”
Nephthys looked amused on her face as she traced a finger along the gold
symbols carved into an adjacent wall.
“But then again, her mind does offer me several alternatives with which
to kill you.”
Apophis was not amused.
“I will speak with your
host,” he demanded sharply.
Nephthys laughed softly
then said, “As you wish.”
As the goa’uld shifted
control to Kayla, she gasped and looked around the room in horror. Apophis let a sinister smile cross his lips
as he watched her wrap her arms protectively about herself. She was indeed beautiful, her skin a few
shades darker than his own. He made a
mental note to reward his first prime richly for choosing such a perfect
specimen. It wasn’t so long ago another
first prime of his had chosen a specimen quite similar…
“Do not be afraid,” he
cooed as he extended a hand towards her.
“Come.”
Kayla did not move.
“Then I will come to
you,” he said, walking towards her. “Do
you realize the gift I have given you?
Eternal life courtesy of one of the most powerful and beautiful system
lords.”
Kayla did not
answer. She gave Apophis a look
somewhere between fear and anger, between hatred and anxiety. Pushing herself further into the corner of
the room, she moved her lips but no words came forth.
“You are still in shock,”
he told her. “But you will adjust.”
“I killed people,” she
whispered hoarsely, looking down at her hands.
She looked back up at Apophis when his feet appeared directly in front
of hers.
“Do not worry yourself,”
he assured with a sinister smile. “Killing
will become easier in time. Soon the
ribbon device will become an extension of you.” Apophis watched as Kayla slid down the wall to the floor, her
luxurious robes billowing behind her.
“Why did you do this to
me?” she pleaded.
“Because I am full of
lust and you, my sweet, caught my eye,” Apophis said, stooping down to her
level. When he tried to touch her face
she turned away. “Truth be told I am in
the need of a new queen. I have mourned
adequately over Amonet’s death. I will
always love her, but it is not good for me to rule alone.”
“Why?” she said, her
voice trembling.
“I simply chose you, my
sweet,” he said, staring into her eyes.
He took her by the hands and pulled her to her feet. “And I find it highly pleasing the Shol’va
has chosen you as well. Not that I am
surprised.”
Apophis folded his arms
across his chest, taking in Kayla’s stunned expression. He’d used the ribbon device to find out all
he needed to know. Nephthys was right;
Kayla’s anger towards Teal’c could possibly be the thing he needed to put an
end to the Tau’ri threat once and for all.
And if he could capture the Shol’va at the same time, that would only
make victory that much sweeter.
He looked at her as if
trying to hypnotize her with his eyes.
“Teal’c has betrayed both of us,” he said. “And for that he must pay dearly.”
“You want him dead,”
Kayla rasped, finally finding her voice.
“No. Death would be easy compared to what I have
planned for him,” he said, clasping her upper arms with his hands.
“You…you and your kind
have enslaved the Jaffa,” Kayla told him, trying to avoid his stare but
failing. The metal pieces on the right
side of his face made him look like a cyborg to her. “You hate him because he threatens your very existence and that
of the system lords.”
Apophis decided to ignore
that statement, the lust in his heart overriding his anger. He turned her quickly around so she was
facing the transparent wall again. “You
are Queen over all of this,” Apophis told her, motioning towards the vast fleet
of ships that floated in space. His
lips moved within millimeters of her neck, his nostrils drinking in the soft
smell of her. “Countless numbers of
slaves on other worlds will bow to you or die.
And when I have captured the Shol’va I will bring him before you to
torture as you see fit. This I promise
you.”
Nephthys suddenly took
over, forcing Kayla to slip out his grasp and walk into the bedchamber. The host within Apophis knew the walk was
not hers, the sway of her hips was not hers, but she was helpless to stop the
goa’uld within her from doing the subtle dance of enticement for Apophis. Nephthys had plans of her own and the Tau’ri
female’s body had no choice but to comply.
“Will you give me Chulak
to rule?” Nephthys asked as she sat down on the edge of the bed. She crossed her legs and took a seductive
pose.
“Perhaps,” he said, his
eyes roving over her body. “What will
you give me in return?”
“What is it you desire?”
“A new host.”
Nephthys
read through the lines to see what he truly meant.
“You know that is
forbidden,” she said.
“I am the most powerful
system lord,” Apophis growled as he stood in front of her. “Who would dare oppose what I want.”
The front closures of her
outfit were peeled away slowly, exposing her skin to his touch. The host protested against this abuse of his
body, but it was powerless to resist the soft, voluptuous female sitting before
him. The host’s erection came fast and
furious, the desire spiking like a struck match. Nephthys gently pulled his neck down towards her, bringing his
lips to her own in a tentative kiss. A
tingle went through Apophis as he told himself he was about to have the very
thing he’d lusted after for longer than he’d cared to remember.
“I have a last thought to
share with your host,” he whispered.
“She is here,” Nephthys
told him as she stroked the back of his neck.
“Speak.”
“What is the fleeting
admiration of a Jaffa compared to the eternal love of a God?” he asked, pushing
Kayla’s body back onto the luxurious bed sheets.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Jack knew he had to go
talk to Sam.
Ever since they’d
returned from Vorash for Martouf’s funeral, Sam had barely spoken two words to
him. Hell, she’d hardly said two words
to anyone. And during the ceremony, the normally stoic Sam had actually
collapsed out of grief. Not that he
could blame her. Granted she hadn’t
been blended with Jolinar for very long, but she still held her memories. Memories of being the mate of Martouf whose
symbiote, Lantesh, perished with him when Sam took his life before the
indignity of the Zatarc programming did it for him. Sam recovered with a little help from Janet, and the funeral
proceeded. Ever since they’d returned
he figured he’d give her a little time to herself. But since he was still worried, Jack decided to check on her.
As he made his way
topside, his mind replayed what had happened in that room. A room that seemed to have gotten smaller
and smaller as he admitted to a select group of people how he felt about
Sam. Not that he wanted to do it
voluntarily, but if he hadn’t, he would have been classified as a Zatarc. And he was much more willing to have his
brain probed by Anise’s little invention than being drugged out and strapped to
the bed. Admitting he cared about her
in a way that wouldn’t be considered ‘appropriate’ given their working
relationship was not an easy thing. And
Sam had to prod him to answer. Yeah,
they were both ‘okay’ with it but admitting such a thing had begun to bring up
more problems. They needed to ‘talk’
but things just kept happening to prevent the air from being cleared.
Walking across the
grounds, he saw Sam sitting on the bumper of a Jeep. Her head was tilted upwards, no doubt thinking about how she’d seen
different star constellations on hundreds of worlds. But as he got closer, he could see the tracks of tears that ran
down her face. A part of her was
mourning the loss of a husband, and another part of her was trying to
understand why.
Jack cleared his throat
from a short distance away to give Sam some time to pull herself together as
best she could. “Doing some off-roading?” he gently teased.
“I guess you could say
that,” she said with a sniffle. Sam
slid over a few inches.
“You okay?” Jack asked,
sitting down next to her.
“No,” she said, wiping
her face with her sleeve. “But I guess
I will be eventually.”
“Don’t want to talk about
it?”
“It’s not that I don’t
want to talk about it,” she said. “I
just don’t know where to start.”
“The beginning is usually
the easiest place to start. We’ll go
from there.”
“That’s too far back.”
“Go with your gut,” Jack
said with a grin as he patted his midsection.
“That works too.”
Sam shook her head. “He shouldn’t have had to die like that,”
she said.
“You did the most loving
thing you could. You didn’t let the
goa’uld programming succeed in having Martouf take his own life.”
“It doesn’t make it any
easier, sir.”
“No,” Jack
empathized. “It doesn’t.”
“I have all these
feelings running through me. And
sometimes I just...” her voice choked off into sobs. “Dammit, if I could only stop crying.”
Jack fished around in his
jacket pocket for a tissue, but all he could find was some change and a ball of
lint.
“It’s okay,” he said,
putting an arm around her.
“No it isn’t!” she
blurted out through tears. “I’m
supposed to be stronger than that.”
“Stronger than what? Not show you’re human? That you have feelings?”
“I keep falling for what
I can’t have,” she declared. “And I
have feelings of a relationship I didn’t have but I have vague memories
of. How fucked up is that?”
“Sam,” Jack said. “What else is going on here?”
Sam Carter turned and
looked at Jack with an expression that said something profound was about to
come out her mouth. He wasn’t sure what
she would say but his instincts told him he wouldn’t like it. But he sucked it up and braced himself for
what was to come.
“We can’t do this
anymore,” Sam said softly.
“Do what?”
“Be together. It’s too risky.”
“I’m willing to…”
“But I’m not,” she said,
cutting him off. “Admitting our
feelings so we wouldn’t be classified as Zatarcs was one thing. But carrying on a relationship is totally
different.” Sam laughed a little as she
wiped her nose again with her sleeve.
“It’s not like I can take you to a cocktail party and introduce you as
my significant other. I’d be the
biggest joke on base.”
Jack waited a few moments
as he replayed the scene in his mind.
So much hell, not to mention a court martial, would have broken loose if
such a thing were to happen. Oh yeah,
he’d get the high-fives, but Sam wouldn’t be viewed the same way ever
again. And it was safe to say a lot of
people at the SGC would lose respect for her.
Sad, but true. Completely fucked
up, but true.
“No, I guess you couldn’t,”
he said dejectedly.
“Sir, I’ve worked too
hard for too long get where I am.”
“I know,” he said softly.
“And I can’t flush it all
down the toilet because I’m fixated on a man I can’t have.”
“And as for what happened
on P3X-234?” he asked, quickly recalling the events that occurred while they
were stuck on that planet for over a week trying to dial home after escaping
the crash of Thor’s ship.
“It’ll have to stay
there, sir,” she told him as she dropped her gaze to the ground. “I thought I could handle this, but I guess
I was fooling myself.”
“So you’re dumping me?”
he asked, sound more stunned than he planned.
Sam looked up guiltily
and said, “I guess so, sir.”
Jack sighed. Then he wanted to smack himself for not
seeing this coming. It wasn’t like Sam
was about to throw her career away for him.
And the simple fact was, the brass would be a hell of a lot more eager
to court martial Sam than him. The
double standard was still alive and well in the military, even if some folks
had deluded themselves into believing otherwise.
“I will always have
feelings for you, Sam,” he said, removing his arm reverently. “And I don’t regret what happened on
P2X-234. Not one bit.”
They both exchanged
knowing glances, and silently agreed to never speak of it again.
“I heard Freya tried to
kiss you,” she said, trying to inject some humor.
“Well, the snake likes
Daniel,” Jack replied, looking up at the glittering stars in the night
sky. “Sounds like a Jerry Springer show
in the making if you ask me.”
Sam finally gave him a
genuine smile. And it made Jack feel
good.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
The act still haunted his
thoughts, but now it haunted his dreams.
Teal’c sat on the floor in
position for Kel No Reem like had done countless times before, the smell of the
myriad of lit candles drifting through his nostrils and into his
subconscious. This time, he was
bargaining with his conscious mind not to subject him yet again to reliving
those events on P8X-873. He didn’t want
to remember walking into that tent, seeing Daniel Jackson in the grips of a
ribbon device held by his wife but controlled by the demon that possessed her. He remembered arming his staff weapon
without a second thought, knowing that, even though he wasn’t sure how long
Daniel had been in the grips of the weapon, time was of the essence if he was
to save his friend. With a last glance
between the two of them, he fired off the shot that killed Amonet, freed
Sha’re’s soul, and changed Daniel’s world forever.
Again.
But this wasn’t the way
his subconscious mind recalled it to him during Kel No Reem. In this unconscious state, it was he who was
on his knees, subjected to the ribbon device held by his estranged Tau’ri
lover. Kayla’s eyes glowed, the look on
her face pure, unadulterated hatred towards him. And this time, the host was feeding its angry feelings to the
goa’uld symbiote, making the pain even more intense.
Please,
Kayla, do not do this, he pleaded.
My
host cannot help you, the Goa’uld said.
She does not want to help you.
She wants you dead.
This time it was he who
couldn’t bring himself to kill her, and it took multiple gunshots from Daniel
Jackson to set her free and save his life.
This time it was he who fell to the floor next to a fallen Kayla whose
body was full of bullet holes. But
unlike what had happened with Sha’re, when the goa’uld within Kayla died, her
last words to him were quite different.
You
never loved me, she said. You only loved yourself. And with that, she closed her eyes and died.
You
are mistaken, he said, lovingly stroking her face. And I
am to blame for it.
O’Neill and Major Carter
entered the tent like he remembered.
Daniel stood there holding his weapon at his side with a pained
expression on his face.
Teal’c,
please forgive me, he said.
She was trying to kill you.
You
followed the appropriate course of action, he remembered
telling Daniel in his dream.
He surely hoped it was
all just a dream. Just a reoccurring dream
obviously meant to make him resolve something.
But what was it? One thing he
wasn’t sure he could should Kayla die was how he would tell her family. How could he face her father, mother and
three brothers with such news? How
could he tell them he was to blame for her being on that planet? How could he make them understand that the
demon within her made her do things she did not want to?
Teal’c opened his eyes
and looked down at the gold cross he had laid on the floor in front of
him. He had taken it upon himself to
find a new chain for it. He didn’t know
why he’d done it at first, especially considering there was virtually no chance
of her coming back as the woman he knew.
Her soul had been stolen by the demon who posessed her now. As the candlelight glinted off of the Tau’ri
faith symbol, he suddenly had an urge to offer prayers to her God that she
would be saved. He couldn’t resign
himself to consider her dead. So much
so that he’d even refrained from the Jaffa ritual of not eating for three days
and nights when someone had died.
Before Anubis went
through the stargate on Earth, he had told him Apophis had taken Kayla as a
host for his new queen. Ever since that
day his thoughts had spun out of control. Stroking the metal symbol gently, he
reasoned that offering prayers to her god might not help her, but there
probably would be no harm in doing so anyway.
When SG-1 and SG-2 had
gated to P5X-458, only a few times before had he been anxious to go
through. As he did so, in the back of
his mind he’d feared what lay on the other side. When he knew his son had come of age to undergo the Prim’tah
implantation ceremony, he had experienced that feeling. When Bra’tac had told him Apophis had
kidnapped his son, he had felt the same thing.
And when Jack had told him Johnson couldn’t say if Kayla was alive or
not, the same feeling had gone through him.
That fight or flight adrenaline rush made him want to walk through a firestorm
to find her; just as he’d wanted to when Jack, Sam and Daniel had been taken by
Hathor and he’d been left for dead with nothing but scorched earth around him.
Teal’c admonished himself
over and over for not being there. He
was angry at SG-11, Johnson and the rest of SG-3 for not protecting her. He was angry with Kayla for volunteering for
such a dangerous mission and angry at himself for treating her the way he
did. Angry for not appreciating her
when all of her was his. Angry for
realizing he may never again get the chance to take her to see her god when she
pleaded with him to do so. And even
angrier that he’d let something so precious slip through his fingers and he had
no one but himself to blame for it.
A warm feeling washed
over Teal’c as erotic memories flashed through his mind. The feel of her under him, her body clenched
around him, the feeling of him driving himself into her, were among some of the
best things in the world to him. The
sound of his name on her lips as she called on him to take her to that place
she still doubted he could each time was a challenge he never failed to meet.
And every time he brought
her to that point, it made him feel like a god.
Every time he was with
her, he felt spoiled. His mind recalled
a time shortly after he’d returned from retrieving SG-1 when they destroyed
Apophis’ new mother ship. He’d emerged
from the shower at her home to find her sitting seductively on the bed,
admiring how he looked. She did a lot
of that, he had noticed. While his height
and build intimidated many, it only served to excite her. That night, he’d been subjected to a
relaxing albeit hedonistic back massage while lying between her legs. To repay her gesture of good will, he’d
spent the majority of the night with his tongue between her thighs, tasting and
smelling the essence that was uniquely hers.
Smiling to himself, he remembered how he’d spent a good portion of the
evening pleasuring her orally, only to awaken the next morning by being repaid
in kind by her.
Looking at the warm glow
of the candlelight, he remembered in vivid detail how an evening of instructing
her in meditation had taken quite a different course. Instead, he had performed the ritual of Sha’na Sir’ah. A long, intense exercise in sexual endurance
used to bring lovers closer together on an emotional and spiritual level, or to
reconcile angry ones. Just her being
there, wanting to learn about his culture and looking especially fetching, had
made him initiate the ritual. Using a
series of deep and shallow thrusts within her, he had brought her to climax
twice before it was over. The third
time, he’d allowed himself to come with her, their bodies acquiescing in a
sweaty mass of release. They had
touched each other’s souls that night, and for the first time in a long time he
had felt complete.
Groaning softly as he
felt the insistent hardness between his legs, he still could not understand her
insistence upon the use of the Tau’ri contraceptive device. On Chulak, a female, especially a human one,
would find it honorable to bear the offspring of a Jaffa. So he could not understand why Kayla, whose
figure was a built-in fertility signal to him, would not want to bear his
young. He’d wanted nothing between
them, but then again, he had been holding a part of himself back from her; the
part that wanted to take her with the passion and intensity he feared would
hurt her.
Teal’c concluded that
perhaps that was the reason he’d given in to Shan’auc so easily that night in
his quarters. She’d made no demands to
keep his seed from her, and the only reason he’d held back in part at first was
due to the pain she was in. But even in
heat of their lovemaking the pain had dulled, and he took her the way he was
genetically programmed to.
And it felt glorious.
As much as he tried not
to think about it, he could not help but see the image of Apophis commanding
his host to take Kayla as he saw fit.
It pained him immensely to think of someone else grasping her by the
hair and pushing himself inside of her the way he used to. When Kayla had confronted him with the
videotape of him and Shan’auc, she had said she would never get that image out
of her head. That every time she saw or
thought about him, she would see him and Shan’auc together as they had been
less than a week before. Teal’c thought
perhaps it was a fitting punishment for him to continually picture her with the
false god he had once served. As hard
as he tried, he knew he would never get over it.
But it wasn’t completely
sexual where his interest in Kayla was concerned. Ever since he’d met her, she went out of her way to explain
things from her quirky point of view.
And Teal’c deeply appreciated how she never seemed to tire of his
questions about her world. But what was
extremely amusing to him was how she would also amuse herself and him by using
Tau’ri metaphors around SG-1 that even they did not understand. It was a private game between them. She would tell him what the metaphors meant
in advance so when she used them on a confused Daniel Jackson, Major Carter or
especially O’Neill, he appeared to know more than they did when he effortlessly
translated for them. Their game had a double purpose though. It also helped him to understand the
familial speech he’d observed the dark-skinned Tau’ri warriors using when
congregating with or greeting one another.
He valued her intellect,
her strength of character, her tough nature, even her annoying tendency to
interrogate him and complain relentlessly about situations over which she had
no control. But the things he liked
about her outweighed the things that drove him nuts. She was teaching him things his friends in SG-1 either could not
or were not aware of. Kayla often told
him his curiosity about her world made her look at it differently, but she hoped
she wouldn’t taint him with her warped view of the planet.
She
could never do that, he thought with a smile.
Letting out a heavy sigh,
he gently picked up the chain. As the
cross dangled in front of him, he wondered if he would ever see Kayla again. And if he did, would he have the strength to
set her free?
He heard a knock at his
door.
“Teal’c?” Daniel asked as
he opened the door and peered around it.
The Jaffa drew in his
breath then exhaled sharply.
“DanielJackson,” he said with a warm yet troubled expression. “Thank you for coming.”
“Sure. Can you tell me what this is about?” He looked back briefly as he shut the door
behind him.
“You stated if there was
ever a time I wanted to…talk, I could summon you.”
“Of course, Teal’c.” Daniel made himself at home by leaning
against a wall.
“I need to explain my
behavior when Shan’auc was present.”
“You don’t have to
justify yourself to me,” he assured.
“The only person you need to explain your behavior to is Kayla. And I know she hasn’t made that very easy,”
he muttered.
“I tried to do so on
several occasions,” Teal’c said, holding his head up high, but the weight of
his words were heavy with guilt.
“I know Teal’c. She was just very upset.”
“And she had every right
to be,” he admitted. “My conduct was
not honorable.”
“Teal’c, you’re not
infallible.”
The Jaffa gave him a look
that said he wasn’t convinced. “I am to
blame for Kayla’s abduction. Had she
not been so upset with me she would not have gone on that mission.”
“How do you know that?”
Daniel said, hinting Teal’c was taking on more blame than necessary.
Teal’c closed his eyes
briefly and said, “I found out from General Hammond that she volunteered. By the time we returned from P4R-570 she was
gone. We were supposed to journey away
together for several days but those plans were made before Shan’auc arrived.”
Daniel sat down on the
floor across from Teal’c. “She made
that decision, not you,” he said, tucking his legs under him. “Why are you so hung up on blaming
yourself?”
Teal’c opened his eyes
slowly, looking at the candles near his knees.
He tried to form the words, but the pained expression on his face said
it all.
“Because you love her?”
Daniel ascertained.
When the Jaffa’s dark
eyed gaze met his blue ones, he knew he was right.
“There is an old Jaffa
saying,” Teal’c said softly. “One does
not miss the water until the river has dried up.”
Daniel gave him a
sympathetic expression.
“And because of my
short-sightedness, she is now with Apophis.
I do not know if I can reconcile the thought of her and him...”
“Don’t,” Daniel
interrupted, holding a finger up.
“You’ll drive yourself crazy. I
can’t tell you all the times I kept picturing Amonet using Sha’re to pleasure
Apophis. In the end I told myself that
she was a victim, and the only way I could help her was to keep my mind on
finding her.”
“Do you still blame me
for choosing your wife, DanielJackson?” Teal’c asked, his eyes pleading for
forgiveness. “I am certain several
times you wanted to kill me as I now have an even greater desire to kill
Apophis.” He clenched and unclenched
his hands, his mind thinking of the numerous ways he knew of to kill someone.
“I put those demons to
rest a long time ago, Teal’c,” Daniel said softly. Teal’c knew he meant it but felt he needed to say more.
“Again, I regret having
to terminate her life in order to save you.”
“I know,” he said. “Like I told you, and Kasuf told you at the
funeral on Abydos, you set her free.
Her torment is over because of you.
And I would be lying if I said there weren’t times I didn’t miss her,
wished that you hadn’t killed her, but you did what had to be done. You did the right thing.”
Teal’c sighed.
“You know, she told me to
forgive you.”
“How do you know this?” he
asked.
“Through the ribbon
device,” Daniel said with a sigh.
“Somehow, from the time Amonet started to fry my brain until the time
you fired your staff weapon, I experienced what seemed like several days. And in that time, Sha’re implored me to
forgive you because she knew she would die.
And if I hadn’t forgiven you, I wouldn’t have found out about the
harcesis. She wanted us to find this
child together.”
“And we did,
DanielJackson,” he said, a faint smile crossing his face.
“Yeah, we did.” Daniel shifted a little, then looked down at
the cross that blended into the cream-colored Berber carpet. “New piece of jewelry?” the archaeologist
asked.
“It was Doctor Porter’s,”
he said. “I found it on the planet when
we went to rescue her.”
Daniel looked at Teal’c
strangely. He didn’t think the Jaffa
was one to be sentimental. “You’ve had
it all this time?” he asked.
“It is the only thing I
have left of her,” Teal’c said, his voice choked with emotion.
“That’s not entirely
true,” the archaeologist corrected.
“You have memories.” A few moments of silence passed between them before
he spoke again. “Do you want to talk
about her?”
“I do indeed,” he said as
his eyes quickly panned all of the lit candles in the room. “DanielJackson?”
“Yes?” he asked.
Teal’c inhaled and
exhaled a few times, making it pretty obvious to Daniel that he had something
profound to say, but didn’t quite know how to say it.
“Should Kayla ever
endanger my life, I will understand if you need to terminate hers in order to
save me.”
Daniel looked at him for
a few moments as he tried to figure out if he’d just heard Teal’c right.
“I hope it never comes to
that, Teal’c,” Daniel told him woefully.
“I hope you never experience that, especially at my hands. We’ll find her.”
Teal’c
figured even if that did happen, he’d already forgiven Daniel in advance. The only thing in question was whether he
could ever forgive himself. But he
couldn’t think about that now.
Tomorrow, he and Jack would be involved in testing something that could
help earth defend itself against the goa’uld.
That was where his mind needed to be.
And maybe talking with
Daniel would help him get there.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
[Chapter
One] [Chapter
Two] [Chapter
Three] [Chapter
Four] [Chapter
Five] [Chapter
Six]
~ * ~ * ~ * ~